Hugo From Pode Hole

"T-that's the first time you've kissed me."

"And it won't be the last," Carla said, pouring vodka on to the ice and pre-mix. "Until tonight I wondered if you really liked women and thought of you as being a little up yourself. But now I've seen you acting so vulnerable and I just wanted to hug you for being so cute. Charlotte will be wetting herself knowing she'd top dog."

"Carla!"

""What?"

"It doesn't matter."

"You know how to move in on women you wish to fuck but you are almost hopelessly out of the ballpark when it comes to moving in on a woman you wish to become serious with. Just be yourself pal and try to relax. Charlotte knows you and so you're halfway there."

Hugo swallowed and said, "Charlotte jerked me off the first night I met her, in a dingy bar."

Carla giggled. "Christ I wouldn't have the nerve to do that. I heard nothing about you complaining. Anyway that doesn't matter. The thing is you've been apart for some months and she's here tonight because she wants to be here. She's absolutely gorgeous Hugo and you know it. You are now starting a new page and so forget the past. Do you wish me to jerk you off or do you think you ought to give your full attention to Charlotte?"

"I must give my full attention to Charlotte," Hugo managed. "Christ Carla, you are acting out of bounds with me."

"Thank you for that reminder Hugo. Attend to things here and then join us for a drink."

Hugo arrived, now wearing his new jacket, and looked very smart.

They proved to be a well-balanced foursome and were off to a great start. After they finished mains Carla stood and said firmly, "The powder room is this way Charlotte."

In the bathroom Carla kissed Charlotte.

"You two make a great couple. Poor Hugo has been beside himself in anxiety tonight. I brought you here to ask something. Do you wish to stay the night? You can borrow things from me."

"I'd like to but fear that Hugo might think I haven't reformed and am still a slut."

"Ah that tells me something. He got nasty about demanding you change?"

"I came home drunk and had popped party pills and almost made a complete fool of myself. Next morning he read me the riot act and I promised to report but fumed about being forced to do that. At home that night I called a family conference and demanded either he goes or I go. The poor guy never stood a chance."

"But you think you have met some of his demands."

"Yes I no longer take party pills or booze excessively and have completed avoided having indiscriminate sex."

"Well I'd call that substantial reform. Call your mom and say you're staying the night. Let's put the poor guy out of his indecisive misery. A bit of good pussy can really focus a guy's thinking."

"You have a refreshing attitude Carla. You are English aren't you?"

"I was. I took up American citizenship and yes I supposed I do think and express myself more freely than many American women. Now think about it and I really would like you to make that call. Give me a nod if it's a yes when you return to the table and at the opportune time I'll invite you to stay. I suggest you act hesitant and then turn and look at Hugo but say nothing, absolutely nothing. His sex drive will answer for him and remember, he's no saint."

They kissed again and Carla returned to the men.

"Oh that was such a lovely meal," Charlotte said. "It's been so lovely being here this evening."

"Charlotte, it's getting late, why not stay? You can borrow things from me."

"That is very kind of you Carla but... oh half of me wants to accept."

She looked across at Hugo, her lips slightly parted.

Charlotte's tongue tip was momentarily visible.

Hugo said: "I'd really like you to stay."

"But where would I sleep?"

Taking the cue, Carla said firmly, "With Hugo in his bed unless either of you has objections to that. It's not as if you are strangers."

"Yes sleep with me."

"Oh I've often dreamed of doing that. Yes I will sleep with you and thank you Carla for being such a perfect hostess and you too Arnold."

"Oh thanks, Arnold said. "You've made the correct decision Charlotte."

Carla beamed at her husband.

* * *

Commissioning editor Jacki Herbert walked into the office of Eileen Trimble, editor-in-chief of Rupert's Bookshelf Publishing in The Mall, London. Eileen who was pouring mid-morning tea said, "English Breakfast?" and when told thanks poured a second cup into a thick mug roguishly stamped, 'Unofficially Commemorating Her Majesty The Queen's annual visit to Pint o' Best Bitter', yet another sign of English humor and eccentricity incomprehensible to Americans.

Yes why weren't those women drinking tea from bone china cups with their little finger raised obscenely er delicately?

"Hugo Garrett emailed me his formal proposal this morning, um for the record, because I'd already confirmed acceptance.

"Naughty girl. I heard on the grapevine he's been into your pants again. I guess he is over there deflowering some of the descendants of the Mayflower. Haw-haw-haw."

"Oh wicked humor Eileen. Well I'm happy to saw he's exceeded my expectation. Want me to read draft of the opening draft chapter?"

"Yes, a ginger nut?"

"Thanks," said Jacki placing the biscuit beside her mug of dark tea. She began:

Sissy Logan-Campbell awoke in a seedy rooming house in Manhattan, just seven hours after arriving from England at an airport she naively thought had been built by former president the late Jack Kennedy and then named after him. Two flies engaging in early morning sex on the sagging ceiling didn't hold her attention for long because she blinked and thought of her exciting day ahead of her.

Sissy proposed to start her day with a plate of fabled pancakes and maple syrup and try to down yet another cup of liquid the Americans palmed off by alleging it was coffee. She couldn't understand with more Europeans living in America that in Europe how serving something that appeared to be bitter molasses in water could be presented as coffee and speculated perhaps the dreaded Mafia controlled the faked coffee trade.

"Oh god," Eileen said, brushing ginger nuts off her sagging breasts. Run the whole damn book through our legal department will you. The America Hawks in Washington are itching to invade some unfortunate country in this part of the world to demonstrate to Europe that they care."

"Yes we must be careful," Jacki nodded. "White and Black Americans still hurt that the English and French colonized America before the Americans. Heh-heh-heh."

Jacki said she would read the first sexy bit:

The arrogant part-Polish-part French-part Mexican director in sunglasses and chewing a mouth-freshener peered through the dimly lit theater as auditions were coming to a close.

"Um Miss Logan-Campbell. I must say you look very sexy."

"It's only an act sir, believe me."

"Do you fuck your director?"

Everyone eyed Sissy, knowing she'd kill her chance of getting the part of the double axe murder's daughter unless she gave the director the answer the asshole expected. Her shouted reply cut through the absolutely quiet auditorium. "I'm having a little difficulty hearing what you said sir. But if I heard correctly my answer has to be what your wife would say if she'd heard that indecent proposal. She'd yell, "You slimy snake asshole. I'm lopping your balls off with the garden shears."

The ugly and over-weight director Sam Thom, fingering an unlit cigar the size of his... ... of his... it was very big and laughed so much he almost tumbled out of his chair.

Wiping his florid brow with what appeared to his female assistant's panties not returned after the lunch break, he chuckled and told Sissy she was brilliant.

"I'm giving you the second lead as the double-axe murderer. The guy already penciled in for that part will be offered the role of your son. He's a little older that you but make-up will take care of that. So do we do dinner this evening?"

"Yes Mr Thom, providing I have my signed contract in my hand by then. My dear old mother told me to never give it away cheaply."

Everyone in the theater hearing that believed they had just witnessed the birth of a new Broadway star although she could be well into old age before she gained that status unless she busied herself physically seducing all theater critics, females included.

Although Jacki had an overshot upper jaw she bit into her biscuit hard without first dipping it into her tea, sending tiny particles flying. "Well I really think Hugo has got the bit between this the teeth with this one. If he can keep up the pace I predict a runaway winner in terms of his sales to date."

"Well yes you could be right. Those extracts painted pictures and held my attention. You know if he really puts his boot into America and the Americans we could send our American attorneys to the Secretary of State and offer the full rights to the book for say US$10 million to enable them to bury the book instead of allowing them to be ridiculed around the world by people who read this book."

"Eileen do you really this the Americans would be dumb enough to buy this book when they could achieve a similar result just by shooting the author and the publisher and claiming copyright?"

"Oh you have a point there. I suggest you call Hugo and tell me to be a little less cutting in what he writes about America and Americas. What is the working title?"

"Um 'Sissy Logan-Campbell Goes to America."

"God that sounds like a newspaper heading for an article on the travel page. Come ups with something with much greater impact please."

Jacki giggled, "What about 'Sissy Fucks America'?"

"Haw-haw-haw. Careful Jacki or you'll receive a night visit from the CIA."

"Oh god Eileen, could you get someone else as editor for this project?"

"No because the CIA may also come after the editor and you are my most expendable editor. Haw-haw-haw."

CHAPTER 3

With his research completed, Hugo was soon well into good rhythm. Charlotte, who'd had moved in with him two months ago would wake him at 5:45 for her breakfast resulting from termination of fellatio. She claimed semen really improved skin tone. Hugo would eat a bacon and tomato bagel on the way to work and would be at his desk by 6:45. He'd lunch at his desk and work through to 3:45. He'd then race home and work on his novel. Charlotte would arrive home to their small dingy apartment just before 6:00 and whine for sex. With that out of the way Hugo would write until they had dinner at 8:00 and he'd then continue writing until Charlotte would by at his side usually was a little after 10:00, again whining for sex. That allowed them both to finish their day with a big bang.

Hugo dearly loved Charlotte although edited that would read Hugo dearly loved having sex with Charlotte. She just didn't only like sex, she was the ultimate fucking machine, just as Hugo had suspected she would be.

He'd always remember that night of their reunion at the Chelsea apartment when unexpectedly Carla Donald invited her to stay the night.

Hugo was under the sheet working on his dick to ensure it was in pleasing condition for Charlotte, what with her hugely awesome experience at sex, when she came out of the bathroom dressed only it her high heels. Hugo boggled and his dick tried to reach for the stars.

Charlotte's body was amazing... tanned, firmed, fluid and shaped to curve just at the right places. Her legs appeared to go on forever but to Hugo's relief they didn't; they stopped nicely in position at the base of her pussy.

Pussy looked great with deformed flesh peeping through a cropped black bush and it had a fluid look to part of it, actually the bits that parted. But it was the tits that drew Hugo's attention although it was fair to say that was unavoidable. They looked as if shaped by Michelangelo, giving Charlotte's otherwise lithe body a bodacious appearance that she augment by stretching out the nipples between thumbs and forefingers as if to say lewdly, 'Here lover, get your chops around these.'

He looked up at her lovely face to find the full juicy slips parted and her tongue flicking in and out. That was just too much for the aroused Hugo. He blew, cum soaking into the sheet.

Although highly embarrassed he didn't tell Charlotte about that calamitous mishap and she didn't know to ask why was he looking like he'd missed dinner.

Charlotte then set about to technically become Hugo's best ever fuck.

She began by blowing on the end of his dick and running her hand lightly over his balls. She then failed to sink her tongue tip into his meatus, although she would have guessed that impossibility. She licked his glans and pulled away and said in surprise, "I taste cum."

"Er you got my excited coming out of the bathroom. I may have er leaked."

"Well if it's fresh cum that's quite okay."

She then slid her mouth down his shaft and Hugo rolled his eyes and croaked like a squashed frog.

* * *

One Saturday a couple of weeks after shifting in with Hugo and he was out fishing with Arnold Donald and it was an hour before Charlotte was due to meet Carla for lunch, Charlotte searched Hugo's computer. She chose the option to find a word or words in any file name and typed in the name 'Charlotte'. Not having permission to do this thrilled her; it was like going through a guy's wallet to see what range of condoms he was carrying or if any love notes could be found or a letter from the bank warning he was close to being declared insolvent.

There were several files but the one that caught her attention was named, 'First Time I Bedded Charlotte.'

Charlotte was fascinated to read Hugo's descriptive wording and generous accolades and not being disgusted she'd stretched her nipples forward when coming of the bathroom that night. She giggled when reading he'd ejaculated prematurely.

She mused aloud, "Oh well, that happens to everyone a few times in their lives, at least to anyone capable of becoming highly sexually stimulated."

Charlotte stretched back on the chair, hitched up her dress and began to stroke her pussy, unaware throughout she'd been automatically photographed by the built in camera on the top edge of the case that was on the 'security' setting to identify any users of the computer when left in 'sleep' mode.

She was happy with Hugo and happy at work but not with the apartment. It was too small and dark and overdue for renovation. She was making good money and thought she should suggest they surrender the lease and find something more to her liking. She was prepared to contribute a greater share of their living costs and thought surely with Hugo's two books selling on both sides of the Atlantic he must be salting away money. He was very private about his current project. She searched for the word 'Sissy' and found he'd made great progress with his draft manuscript.

With only a few minutes available before she would have to get ready to go to lunch, Charlotte chose to read Chapter 22 that he was currently working on:

Sissy dressed trendy-casual for the interview. She'd been astounded that one of the foremost newspaper feature writers in America, Muriel von Kluge, wanted to interview her.

Mrs von Kluge arrived at the theater where rehearsals were underway for the world premiere of 'The World's Last Adult Musical'. She was heavily made up and wore a buttoned-up white shirt with large broach just above her breasts and khaki skirt with brown boots and her hairstyle was very modern. She appeared in her forties.

"That you for coming dear," she said. "The call from my secretary must have sounded like a royal comment. If it did I apologized."

Sissy, now nearing her mid thirties, smiled and said, "No it's fine. Mrs Scott said you and Mr von Kluge saw me in 'Ladies in Blue Jeans' and you thought I was a person worth interviewing then but now with me as an Englishwoman winning this lead role in a very American show that convinced some of the best American actresses of film and stage to audition for the part, you decided my time had come. That sounded so arrogant I couldn't resist the opportunity to meet you. Mrs Scott said you also wanted to interview me because I rarely talk about my private life."

"That's sounds like Mary Scott but I object to you calling me arrogant."

"You're a star in you own field Mrs von Kluge. You don't have to interview me and I don't have to apologize for calling your arrogant. Call me a bitch is you wish. I've been called worse names."

Mrs von Kluge said, "Call me Muriel" and turning to her camerawoman said, "Shoot when you wish Carol with and without flash and position Miss Logan-Campbell...

"Call me Sissy everyone and especially you Muriel."

"And position Sissy for a close-up of me interviewing her. Something tells me this one will be a little ripper and I want that photo for my office wall collection. Samantha are your ready to record?"

"Yes ma'am."

The researcher handed Muriel a clipboard and Muriel asked, "Why are we standing instead of sitting somewhere?"

"You are the one calling the shots Muriel. I'm only the interview subject but I could suggest we start in my dressing room."

"Yes an excellent idea and then we can move out here when rehearsals are really underway and use what's going on stage as a backdrop."

"I already have the director's permission for you to do that and he's prepared to take me through my opening number and that will give Carol the opportunity to get an authentic shot that the direction of production hopes will be uses to provide us with great publicity."

"Take that shot later Carol but Sissy we decide what photos will be used with my interview."

"Yes of course. Who would ever dare dispute that?"

"Retract those fangs dear, now I've read your claim that you originate from Puddle-at-Bottom and yet our research shows no such place exists."

"It's in Romney Marsh."

Muriel consulted her researcher and then frowned at Sissy, "I'm told Romney Marsh is a breed of sheep now simply called Romneys."

"True but those sheep originated in the very wet southeastern part of England called the Romney Marshes in Kent. My parent's farm is near the settlement of Stelling Minnis and the farm was named in the 17th Century Puddle-at-Bottom because it's the lowest-lying farm in the district and when farm laborers dug holes for fence posts..."

"Omigod there always would be a puddle at the bottom."

"Yes Muriel. Naming in England is as every bit as fascinating as studying rocket science."

Charlotte sighed and closed the page and logged off because it was time to get ready to go out. Gosh Hugo's writing was interesting in detail and he appeared good at developing tension between people. She was eager to read the book when published.

Two nights later when they were in a restaurant with Carla and Arnold, Carla asked had Hugo decided to remain living in New York?

"I think so but am yet to convince myself I should. At least I know I'll stay at least another month to complete my final draft here and actually it really doesn't matter where I'm located. I'll have to return to England anyway to spend one or two days with my publisher prior to printing. There always are sticking points to negotiate with the editors including book title."

Charlotte was hiding her shock. Since moving in with Hugo she'd enjoyed living with him so much she'd must have assumed she'd always live with him unless everything fell apart. She certainly had never thought of leaving him. Now it was on his mind, well at least he was wavering.

Hugo said, "Look why don't you guys rake the cash together and come with me for seven to ten days and we'll look around England?"

"I'd love to," Carla said, frowning. "But we are trying to start a family and..."

"Foreigners have always been allowed to fuck in England," Hugo said.