Humiliated by My Lover

The following is a true story told to me by my wife when we had fallen in love and were both comfortable enough with each other to discuss past lovers. They say most women will have gone out with one complete bastard and Ian was Jenny's. To be honest it shocked and upset me to hear what she had suffered. I have told the story from her point of and have only changed names and locations to preserve anonymity.

Jenny's story

I had graduated from university with a degree in business studies and had spent the last two years working as a hospital administrator when I met Ian. I was happy in the job and had a wide circle of friends mainly through the hospital and from my university days. The only thing missing in my life was a man to love. I was twenty three at the time and if I am not a stunner I knew I was quite pretty. I am 5' 2 with shoulder length naturally blonde hair and a slim figure which I worked hard to keep in shape. I met quite a few men but suffered from the same problem many young professional women did, the one's I fancied didn't seem to fancy me and the one's that did I didn't fancy me.

I met Ian through work, he was a salesman for a hospital supplies company that supplied our hospital and I was responsible for purchasing some of these products. We met in my office and I was immediately attracted to him. Ian was about 5' 10 with a nice athletic body and good looking without being outrageously handsome. We discussed business and after a few minutes, to my delight, he was flirting with me. My friends describe me as having a warm friendly personality and pleased at finding a handsome man who liked me I flirted right back. I was over the moon when he shyly asked me if I would like to go on a date to a local wine bar that evening.

The date was heaven, Ian was very attentive paid me lots of complements, telling me how attractive and intelligent he found me. We agreed to meet again and had three more dates. Ian told me he was falling in love with me and I was already in love with him. It just felt so fantastic to have this handsome man in love with me. We hadn't slept together but that was about to change. Ian rang me during the week and told me he had booked a room in a famous London hotel near where I worked for Friday night, would I like to have a meal with him there? We both knew what was going to happen, that I was going to spend the night with him. Although not a virgin I was sexually inexperienced and had not slept with a man for over a year. I was a little shocked at how horny I felt at the thought of spending the night with him.

When I met Ian at the hotel for dinner I had never felt more nervous and excited in my life. I had worn my sexiest dress, a long black number that was daringly low cut and showed off my firms breasts and back. I had bought it specially for the occasion and had never worn anything so sexy in my life. The dinner was wonderful and Ian was his usual complementary charming self. As the time to go upstairs was nearing I was getting more and more excited, my nipples were by now rock hard and I could see Ian looking at them through the thin material of my dress. I was shocked at how wet I was between my legs and could actually feel my moistness on my thighs. I had never felt this way in my life and I think I would have let him fuck me on the resteraunt floor if he had wanted.

Eventually Ian paid for the meal took me by the hand and we went upstairs. The room was fantastic with a huge four poster bed as its centre piece, there was a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket by the bed. Ian kissed me passionately and stroked my back, I could feel his erection pressing against me and at that moment felt like the most sexy desirable woman in the world, I wanted him desperately. Ian broke off the kiss and said "why don't I run us a bubble bath, we can have glass of champagne in the bath" To be honest I just wanted him to make love to me and was a little shocked, I had never had a bath with a man before, but the more I though about it the more of a turn on it was.

Ian went to run the bath and came back a couple of minutes later to tell me it was ready. Blushing I took off my dress and panties, which were by now soaking wet, and stood naked in front of him. I was sure he could see the wetness on my thighs and he could certainly see how hard my nipples were. He was five years older than me and I didn't doubt was much more experienced sexually, I was a little embarrassed but at the same time pleased that he could see how much he was arousing me. Ian stripped off and looked really good naked I was absurdly delighted to see how hard his cock was and felt really sexy turning him on so much.

The bath was sexy fun. We drank champagne, kissed, soaped each other down, Ian told me how gorgeous and sexy I was, I told him if he didn't make love to me soon I would explode. We got out of the bath and towelled each other down. I shocked myself yet again, when I was kneeling down to dry Ian's legs I actually kissed his cock. I had never done anything like that before I suppose it was the sheer eroticism the whole situation, I just wanted to show him how much I adored him and wanted him.

We went back to the bedroom and lay on the bed. The sex we had was the most fantastic experience of my life. Ian was slow and gentle. He kissed me all over, telling me how adorable and gorgeous I was. After fifteen minutes of this I was shuddering and actually had to beg him to fuck me. I was soaking wet inside and when he entered me I exploded with a series of fantastic orgasms the like of which I had never experienced before. My face and breasts felt like they were on fire. Ian came a minute later with me feeling the most feminine and womanly I had ever felt with his firm cock inside me.

Ian wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. I immediately burst into tears from the sheer emotion of the whole experience. Ian comforted me and asked me why I was crying. I just had to tell him how fantastic he had been and how no man had ever made me feel so feminine, womanly and sexy. We soon both feel into an exhausted sleep. In the morning I awoke to find Ian had arranged breakfast in bed which be both eat hungrily. We had to be out of the room by twelve so there was time for move lovemaking. Again Ian did something no man had ever done to me, he went down on me. Some prudish feeling had made me stop my previous two rather unsatisfactory lovers from doing this. Ian was fantastic, he found my clit and licked it gently till I came in huge shuddering orgasms, I just hoped to god the people in the next room could not hear my loud moans.

Naturally I thought I had met the man of my dreams but Ian was going to turn out to be the man of my nightmares. I was madly passionately in love with Ian and he professed to be in love with me though I know now he was not. We continued dating but couldn't see each other as much as I would have liked as his job took him all over the south east during the week. We met mainly at weekends and the sex was still fantastic. Perhaps a less naive woman might have seen through Ian but I was blinded by love I suppose and chose to ignore the warning signs.

The first problem was none of my friends liked him. None of them actually came right out and said dump the bastard Jenny he's bad news but I knew from the type of "just take it slowly you no nothing about him" comments they made that none of my good friends liked or approved of him. What hurt me most was that they all seemed to think this way about him. What I didn't know is that he was flirting with and making inapproiate comments to some of my girlfriends, he even asked one or two of them to go out with him. Being a clever manipulator he always did this behind my back and never to my closest friends who might have told me about it. After we split-up I found he had being fucking one of my female colleges at work, not a close friend, who he met through me, at the same time as he was going out with me.

The second problem was the kinky sex. I have always been quite strait laced though I had to admit Ian brought out a sensual side in me I hadn't really known I posessed.Ian was into just about everything kinky going, he had been clever enough to get me to fall in love with him before telling me about these desires. I thought it was dirty but knew from reading women's magazines that many men liked to do this sort of thing.

The first thing he wanted to try with me was anal sex. The thought of doing that appalled me I just thought it would be painful and degrading and had no intention of letting him do that with me. He wore me down though. Ian could be very persuasive when he wanted something. He pointed out that lots of women do it for their men, and if its so bad why do homosexuals do it all the time. He said he had brought me lots of pleasure in bed and I was being selfish denying him this. He also said if I really hated it we would never do it again. I was in love and thought maybe he's right, perhaps I am being selfish, other women do it for their men why not me, so I reluctantly agreed when we were having dinner at his flat one Saturday night.

I had one or two more glasses of wine than usual with the meal to fortify myself as I was a little afraid of what was about to happen. We went upstairs and started to make love Ian was much more tender and loving than he had been recently kissing me softly and telling me how much he appreciated me and what I was doing. For all his faults he was a fantastic lover when he wanted to be and I was getting very aroused by his tenderness and skilful hands and tongue. He licked my clit and I was near orgasm despite my fears when he gently turned me over. He had bought some sort of lubricant which he smeared all over his penis. I then feel his fingers inside my anus. I automatically tightened at this but knew I had to relax so I stopped doing it and spread my legs wide. It just felt horrible his fingers in my bum spreading this lubricant, I was absolutely mortified with shame and embarrassment. He then climbed on top and started pushing himself inside me. Ian was reasonably well endowed and it was very painful and even more so when he started thrusting inside me. If the pain wasn't bad enough the sheer humiliation was worse. I had never felt so degraded and humiliated in my life, here was the man I loved deliberately hurting me in the most humiliating way possible and from his grunts obviously enjoying it. I was by now crying into the pillow just desperate for the whole thing to end. I suppose I could have asked him to stop but I had agreed to it and knew how pleased he would be. I was his girlfriend and I think at some level I thought it was my duty to please my man even if it was utterly repugnant for me.

By the time he came I was sobbing and for some reason trying to hide the tears from Ian. Why did I feel so ashamed of myself when this was all his doing. In what was to become a pattern Ian was tenderness itself afterwards and when I told him how much he hated it he promised we would never do it again and thanked me for letting me try it out. Over the next few days he treated me wonderfully and I was still in love with him despite what had happened. Then he brought up the next thing on his kinky menu.

He wanted to spank me, I was not as shocked as with the anal thing as he had mentioned it before and though naive I had read about such things in women's magazines. I have to be totally honest here and say there was a small part of me that was excited by the thought of a man spanking me though I would rather have not done it at all. At first it was fun, we would make a little game of it where I would pretend to have done something naughty and he would have to reluctantly punish me for it. I would have to strip off in front of him, he would take me upstairs and I would like naked and submissive on the bed while he spanked me. At first the spanking were very light and he would always make love to me tenderly afterwards which I enjoyed. If it had stopped there I could just about have put up with it but he kept on pushing the boundaries. Why I let him I don't know with the benefit of hindsight I suppose in some way he had broken my spirit and I just let him do what he wanted.

He started tying my hands to the metal bars of the headboard before spanking me, sometimes he would even blindfold me. I felt very uncomfortable with this but didn't stop him or protest. By this stage of our relationship he had isolated me from my friends none of whom wanted anything to do with him. I didn't know it at the time but Ian had got bored with me and was just pushing me as far as I would go before dumping me. It all culminated one horrible night. I was round at Ian's flat and our lovemaking was to be preceded by my now usual spanking.He had been unusually tender to me that night so I had no idea what was coming. Ian tied my ankles to the bottom of the bed and my hands to the headboard, he than put an airline type sleep mask on me so I was effectively blindfold. He had done all this before but then he did something new and frightening, he put a piece of some sort of strong tape over my mouth. I would never have let him do this to me as I always knew I could have told him to stop if he was really hurting me but with the blindfold on I could not see it coming. I tried to indicate that I didn't want this by trying to move about and mouth a protest but blindfold gagged and tied securely could not do much. Ian turned me over on to my front and proceeded to give me what I can only describe as a savage spanking. I had never felt so scared and helpless in my life and just lay there praying for him to stop, I was too frightened even to cry. It seemed to go on forever but he eventually stopped.

He untied my ankles spread my legs and started kissing my body. I was determined to resist him, I just wanted to get away but despite myself when he put his tongue inside me and started licking my clitoris I started getting aroused. I hated myself for it, the last thing I wanted was for him to think he was exciting me. But I was powerless to resist my own body, to my utter shame I started getting wet and in minutes had an orgasm. Ian untied me and tried to kiss and hug me but I pushed him off and fled to the kitchen sobbing my eyes out. I hated him for what he had done and was consumed with shame for letting him. A few minutes later Ian came into the kitchen and tried to touch me. I pushed him off and said "its all over between us know Ian I can't take any more of this" Ian did contrition very well, it was all an act of course, but one worthy of an Oscar. He apologised profusely begged me not to dump him and said he would never ever do anything remotely kinky with me again. I got up and told him I was going to the spare room as I had to think things over.

In the morning he brought me breakfast in bed though I couldn't eat a thing. He held my hand and again begged me not to dump him. My mind was in a turmoil, I knew I should get rid of him but something inside me wanted to give him one last chance. I told him I would have to think things over and left his flat. Over the next few days he sent me flowers and rang me to apologise for what he had done several times. He was very persuasive and like a complete fool I forgave him. If only I had had an inkling of what he had in store for me. I was only to see him twice again and on both occasions was to be left utterly humiliated by him.

I agreed to see him the following Saturday, we were going to go to a party of one of my best friends at the hospital, I was looking forward to it as most of my friends would be there. Ian came round to my flat with a bunch of flowers kissed me tenderly and told me how much he loved me. We kissed and hugged, I was tearful and still a little angry with him but prepared to give him one last chance. When we left for the party together I thought we were a couple once more.

The party was in full swing when we got there and I was happy to see that most of my closest friends were at it. Then it started, we both knew most of the people at the party and at first Ian and I stayed together but then we started circulating. Ian started talking to a blonde haired girl, she was a stunningly attractive bottle blonde with the sort of tall slim figure most women would die for and beautifully dressed in a short black cocktail dress which showed off her shapely legs. She was only about nineteen or twenty and easily the most attractive woman at the party. I felt a little bit dowdy in my calf length peasant skirt and blouse. Ian spent the next three hours with her only leaving her side to fetch her drinks and totally ignoring me. I could not believe it, after all his protestation of love he was utterly humiliating me in front of my friends and we both knew it. Even worse all my friends knew it too and their sympathy and pity for me was almost impossible to bare. I was almost frantic with anger and despair and had to fight hard to hold back the tears. Eventually it all became too much for me and I run upstairs to the bedroom and burst into tears. My best friend Jane who could see what was happening came up to comfort me. I could not stay any longer and had to go home. I should have just left but for some pathetic almost masochistic reason I had to speak to Ian before leaving. I went up to him and told him I wanted to go home, he took my arm and led me to the corridor where we were alone and said "you go Jenny I want to stay a little longer I have been talking to Miranda, she works in a hospital and could be a useful contact for me I will join you later" By now there were tears streaming down my face but I still had some last vestige of pride left, I told him not to bother I never wanted to see him again, with that I turned and left the scene of my humiliation.

I spent most of the next few days crying my eyes out but at least I had got Ian out of my life or so I thought. Ian rang me four days later to say he realised I would never wanted him but wanted to see me to explain himself. Of course I shouldn't have agreed to see him, I had no intention of getting back with him but I wanted to see him to tell him what an utter shit he was. I had it all planned out, he would come round beg me to take him back I would call him all the names under the sun and send him away humiliated and wanting me. So I told him he could come round tomorrow evening at eight. It was the biggest mistake of my life. The next evening I waited in anticipation for him to come round. Like I complete fool I thought I knew how the whole scene would pan out, he would grovel and beg me to take him back, I would tell him what a shit he was and send him packing.

By nine that evening I realised he was not coming, this was yet another humiliation he planned for me. By ten I had finished the bottle of wine I had opened and was quite drunk when the doorbell rang. It was Ian, he apologised for being late blaming traffic. We walked to the living room and Ian stunned me by grabbing me and kissing me passionately on the lips. I still to this day do not know why I responded it certainly was not what I planned, perhaps the drink played a part. I kissed him back hungrily and our arms were all over each other, I knew with every fibre of my being I shouldn't be doing this but couldn't stop myself. Ian practically tore my clothes off and we were soon both naked. He didn't even bother to take me to the bedroom but fucked me on the living room floor. I would almost like to say it was rape but it wasn't, I wanted him to fuck me as much as he wanted to fuck me and I am ashamed to say I was so excited by it I came. We did not even say a word to each other. I knew I didn't want to get back with him so when it was over I just felt embarrassed and ashamed. I still intended to tell him what a shit he'd been and that I didn't want to see him again.