Jane returned the next day and I behaved the same, no talking, no eating, nothing. Her presence did nothing for me, no erection, nothing; nothing meant anything. I felt dead and wished I was.
By day three she became quite concerned. "Bob, I'm worried about you. Maybe it will make you feel better if you lick me again. Plus, I really could use that right now, I had a rough day at school."
I didn't answer. She removed her shorts and then her panties, and then cleaned herself in front of me, looking in my eyes with that usual anticipation. Then she placed herself right before my mouth, pulled my head into her crotch, and I started licking. That's when the idea hit me. I licked faster and stronger than ever before, and in seconds she was humping into me, then moaning as I licked even more furiously, alternating hard fast licks with slow, long, rhythmic strokes. Just as she was about to scream I turned my head to the side so that her wet crotch now grinded into my ear. She tried desperately to force my head back around but I refused, burying my cheek into her thigh as she screamed "What are you doing?"
Finally she pushed my head away hard into the pillow and scooted back from me, panting, flushed. She ran her hand through her hair and said "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"What do you think?" I answered calmly.
She sat back even further and said "Oh, your turn to play games eh, big boy?"
"Jane," I said, "I don't care what you do to me. Cut my balls off, kill me, do whatever you want. You see, you've been so heartless and cruel to me that nothing matters anymore. Yeah, I did something stupid as a kid and you paid a price. You've lost your high school youth. But I've lost everything. You see, Jane, I've paid the greater price. I've heard your complaints about modeling, cheerleading, the boyfriend that walked away, everything. Do you understand that Jane?"
She didn't answer, just sat there still panting a bit while looking at me with a wild, shocked epxression, so I continued. "In truth, feel sorry for yourself if you want, but you know what? I wish for even one moment, just one lousy, stinking moment, that I could HAVE the things that you complain about having LOST. You feel sorry for yourself but yet you have so much more than I ever will."
I paused for a second as my voice now started to shake and brought myself back to composure. I finished by saying, "I have nothing, Jane. I never will have anything. I am nothing."
Her legs still spread across me, she continued to look off to the side so I couldn't see her eyes. I waited for her response but none came. She had stopped panting now and looked empty, motionless, sitting in silence for several seconds. Then without a word, she stood up and quickly gathered her clothes as she began to cry, wrapped her pants around her waist and walked out without dressing, weeping.
She returned to feed me dinner after about an hour but neither of us spoke; an awkward, functional feeding. She fed me fast, avoiding looking in my eyes, her face red, her eyes redder on the one or two occasions that she let me see them. She wiped my mouth off and said just one word before she left: "Goodnight."
I drifted off to sleep feeling proud for having unloaded on her verbally, for putting her in her place, letting her feel the frustration for a change of being brought to the brink of orgasm only to be disappointed.
Around four in the morning I sensed a presence next to me and as I stirred, I realized Jane was sitting next to me. She flicked the light on and sat expressionless, wearing her night shirt and underwear, and holding a pack of gum.
"Want some?" she asked
I nodded and she offered a piece of it to me, I took it, and then she chewed one herself. We sat chewing in silence and then she removed her panties and knelt next to me.
"I'm sorry for what I've done" she said. She kissed me on the mouth and then put her forehead against mine, staring deeply into my eyes. The small brown freckles around her nose twitched a bit as she did this, signaling that she felt tense. "This one's for you," she continued, her blue eyes piercing as always. "I won't hurt you anymore."
This set off a shiver and chill that forced me to clench my teeth and hands like never before. She reached to pull the sheet down, all the way off, and then unsnapped my pants and removed them. This time the sensation of nakedness brought fire instead of a chill. She lay on top of me, her legs spread, leaning to one side as I took in the smell and feel of her hair falling gently across my face.
"You'll be okay," she whispered as I moaned, almost shrieking, shaking uncontrollably. She grasped my penis and rubbed it against her slit as before and then inserted it slowly, and I opened my eyes just long enough to take in the compassionate, helping expression on her face as she worked me inside her with a gentle and rhythmic rocking motion.
She placed her forehead against mine as her moist vagina swallowed my penis, and then when I was all the way in, she moved her hips up and down with more purpose, sliding me inside and out. My heart raced, my vision narrowed, and within seconds I unleashed a most tremendous orgasm, finally spewing semen inside her with fury, the frustration and build-up from all the anticipation exploding within her as she extended herself against me so that I came while completely inside her.
I buried my head against hers and closed my eyes tight as the convulsions continued beyond my climax, while she clutched around my shoulders and held me while whispering, "It's okay, Bob, you're okay. It's going to be all right. Everything will be different from here on."
Epilogue
As I said from the start, I feel very, very fortunate despite it all, all the horror I endured to at last reach this place in life. Today is our 23rd birthday. I'm in an institution and Jane is finishing up her final year of nursing school at Rutgers, doing in-service work at a local hospital. She has stopped by to visit me throughout the last five years every few days, and in our typical pattern, we chat for a bit, I perform oral sex on her, and she humps me until I come. It never gets boring.
They treat me well here. With physical therapy I can now place my hands on my stomach and on my penis and I can use a laptop, which is how I've written this story. I can also hump now with my hips though I can't roll over. Best of all, I can wrap my arms around Jane's body when we have sex. To change things up, sometimes I'll massage Jane's clitoris with my fingers as we have intercourse and with proper timing we come simultaneously. Sometimes she's first, and more often it's me, but we enjoy it best when we manage to make it happen all at once for both of us.
Jane ensures the nurses take care of me in every way. She's shared the story about my special tongue abilities with some of the more attractive ones, and a few times a week one of them will slip into my private room at night for a mutually-robust sexual encounter.
Today, though, it's all about us: Jane and me. She comes in wearing her nursing outfit and carrying a cake, and locks the door behind her. She has on white cotton stockings that disappear up under her skirt, the kind that have panty bottoms attached. Neither of us says anything because words aren't needed. She smiles and offers me a piece of gum, then takes one too. She lifts her skirt and shows me how she's removed the crotch from the panty stockings. She's shaved herself and her genitals are moist already, the wetness soaking a good bit of the stocking's fabric.
She pulls down the sheet and removes my pajama bottoms. "You don't need to take care of me this time, today is all for you," she whispers as she sprawls across me, her chest on mine, locking her arms behind me. "Are you ready?"
I nod "Yes". She doesn't take her outfit off, as she knows I'll enjoy screwing her through the crotch opening with her fully clothed in the nurse uniform. And she's right: she inserts me and I feel the cotton fabric against my thighs and start humping away with her help while she smiles in a genuinely caring fashion, just like that first time she made me come. She still wears the same body oil that she's worn for years and the smell of it reminds me of our first erotic moments together as she licks round and round my ear.
I stretch my hands around her waist, find my way under her outfit and then her panties, and start squeezing her butt with my fingers, forcing her into me even harder. It doesn't take long before I'm once again burying my nose into her hair, trembling with orgasmic ecstasy.
We lay there together for several minutes, and she whispers repeatedly that she loves me, and I say the same.
"I love you Bob," she whispers into my ear one final time. She lifts her head and I note a tear. She's sobbing a bit and says "No matter what, I'll always be here for you, in this way and in so many more."
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There is so much pain in this story, both for her and for him. I couldn't find it erotic at all. I don't see how anyone else could without skipping the first page and making up their own intro.
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