I Am Jack's Life Ch. 19 & Epilouge

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Sunlight on my face roused me.

Warm light from the sun setting over the pacific ocean brought me around to the present once more. The sound of the surf had lulled me into memories of the past. It has a way of doing that with me. I have a lot of memories tied up with the sound. Memories hung up in space and time.

I looked out the window, Abby's SUV was pulling into the driveway of our beach house. It was late afternoon. The whole day had slipped by.

Obviously Lizzy is too young to hear some of this.

But had to tell her what I could.

I got up to go greet my four girls in the driveway.

I wondered what my father would do.
Maybe I'd redact the naughty bits at least. Yeah, I'd definitely have to edit out the sex bits. Write it down. Maybe she could read it when she was older. Maybe it would give her context for her life. Context is everything after all.

EPILOUGE

Maybe this has helped, maybe it hasn't. All I know is that you needed to know the context.

Yes, I loved your birth mother. Yes, you were an accident conceived in an emotional torrent. But yes, Abby is your mother too. She's been there from the moment you were born, to the moment your birth mother left this world, and every moment in between and since. Abby risked her life to save you. She's raised you, and cherished you, and loved you. I don't want to hear you say Abby's not your 'real' mother ever again.

You have no idea what a real mother is.

But we love you. Both of us. Totally and completely. You are one of the brightest spots in the tapestry of my life.

The littlest things can be crossroads, and you can't take anything back, ever. We can never measure the impact of the choices we make until the consequences have long overrun us. Try to keep that in context the next time you open your mouth and words come out.

But don't let this frighten you into silence either. For while we can never untangle the quantum possibility of our lives, neither can we measure the volume of the echo of unspoken words. Say what's in your heart, but try to speak from love, not meanness; not hate or anger or fear. Life is a series of moments hung one after another in the tapestry of space and time. The stuff the very universe is made of kiddo. Don't make a moment you'll look back on with regret.

.finis.