I Am Such A Fool

I couldn't believe this. I can't believe that this man would come over and suck his wife's juices off my cock. I was out of it and let him give me a blowjob. Maureen kept kissing me and pressing her boobs into my chest. I felt a climax coming and just let it go. I couldn't see Walter but I knew he was sucking me dry. When I finished coming I laid there cuddled up with Maureen and eventually passed out.

When I woke up a while later they were gone. I called the front desk and was told they left an hour before. I could stay in the room seeing it was rented for the night. I took a shower and went back, lay on the bed and thought about all that had happened in the last couple of days.

I was torn inside. I loved my wife with all my heart but here I was trying to live a fantasy that wasn't real. These young girls just gave up their body for money. They didn't care who they fucked or sucked. They didn't love me. Maureen and Walter were the type of couple I suggested to Glenna in our fantasies that we should be. I was wrong. I could never sit there and watch the woman I love being taken by another man.

I think I would prefer to die than be like Walter; getting his jollies by watching other men with his wife and sucking other men's cocks. My little escapade into fantasy land wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I honestly wished I wouldn't have done it.

Seeing it on TV or the movies is one thing, but when you are part of it, it wasn't at all the way I thought it would be. Even though it might have felt good, it was disappointing to me. Maybe I was just too eager due to my sickness, I don't know. My mind and body was just full of confusion.

I was in my own room the next day when I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. I called the front desk before I passed out.

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My eyes were closed but I could hear voices and feel a numbness in my body. I couldn't make out any words but I did hear voices and sound. Was I dead? Was I in that twilight zone you hear about before going to Heaven or Hell?

I would totally black out and come to hearing the sounds again. I couldn't move or open my eyes. My whole body felt numb. I was in this area of my brain where all I could think about was my life. My past was flashing before me. I could see Glenna and me making love for the first time. God, how I loved her and here I was never going to see her again.

I thought about how I was there for the birth of my two kids. Now they were all grown up and starting families of their own. God, I wish I could have said goodbye but I really didn't want to worry them. I felt sad never being able to hold my grandchildren.

Was this what it was like in the twilight zone? Maybe I was wrong; maybe I should have tried to live, to spend another month or so with my family. God, what was happening to me? I just wanted to hold my Glenna one more time before seeing the bright light that I had always heard about. I realized how wrong I was. I didn't miss out on anything sexual. I had it all with Glenna. I just never realized it.

Whether it was oral or anal or even doggie style, Glenna was always there for me. How could I have been so stupid, what a fool I was, thinking I had missed out, when I had it all. After we had made love we always cuddled in each other's arms and when I awoke each morning, she was still there for me.

It felt like I was nearing the light. I could start to see light. I felt my hand being held and squeezed, a voice saying everything will be alright. All of a sudden my eyes opened and it was so bright. I had to keep squinting. I looked over where the voice was coming from. It was Glenna; she was holding my hand.

"Everything will be alright Gregg," she kept saying.

I had a hard time focusing and I tried to speak but I had tubes in my mouth. Where was I? This wasn't Heaven or Hell. I'm almost sure it was a hospital. I looked over at Glenna who had tears in her eyes but was smiling at me. I then fell back into a deep sleep.

Later when I awoke I could see a nurse standing there. She leaned over and was doing things to me. Adjusting the tubes in me and checking gauges on the machine. When she saw that I was awake she talked to me.

"Good Morning, Gregg. You have been through a lot. You have tubes in your throat so you won't be able to talk. Your wife stepped out to get a cup of coffee. She'll be back in a few minutes. I know you have a lot of questions and we will try to get them all answered. You have had some major surgery. You've been here for four days now. I'll wait till the doctor comes in and explains it all to you. The best thing for you is rest. If you feel numb or confused, it's because we have you under some heavy medication. The doctor will be here in a few minutes to see you."

After doing her tests or whatever she left my room. It looked like intensive care by all the machines I was hooked up to. A few minutes later Glenna came into my room smiling when she saw me awake.

"I see you're awake again. Honey, everything is going to be fine. They are talking about taking you out of intensive care tomorrow and putting you in a regular room." Glenna leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. "I love you Gregg. I'll always be here for you."

I tried to tell her I loved her but it was impossible so I tried to tell her with my eyes. I needed to know what surgery I had. The last thing I remembered was the stomach pain was unbearable and passing out. What hospital was I in? Was I in Nevada or Ohio? Where and when did Glenna show up? Did she know about the tumor? God, I needed answers. About that time a doctor came in. I had never seen him before.

"Good Morning, Mr. Wilson. I'm Doctor James. I know things are foggy right now but I'll try to tell you a few things. You were brought here four days ago. We weren't sure what had happened to you. All we knew is you were passed out. We saw your pain killers and figured a possible overdose. We also had your wallet. We pumped out whatever drugs you had in your system and we put you on a respirator and contacted your wife. We told her you were passed out and she told us about your so-called ulcer.

"We contacted your doctor and he told us about the tumor. You were unconscious so we asked your wife what she wanted us to do. She said to remove it. We took you into surgery and spent nearly eight hours removing the large tumor and a few small ones that we also found attached to your intestines. To the best of our knowledge we got them all. We did a biopsy and they were cancerous."

I closed my eyes hearing the worst. I had cancer and now I was going to put my family through hell till I died. This brought tears to my eyes till I heard Glenna speak.

"Gregg, they got it all out. You'll have to go through some chemotherapy to make sure but the doctor said you will make it. Within a month or so you'll be somewhat back to normal."

"Mr. Wilson," said the doctor. "You're a very lucky man. If that tumor would have burst inside of you, there would have been nothing we could have done. You'll be sore for some time. It will take a while for your insides to heal. Of course barring any infections you should be able to go home within the week."

The doctor squeezed my hand and smiled. "I'll have you transferred to a room tomorrow. We'll take the tubes out of your throat in a couple of hours. You'll be on liquids for a couple of days and then soft food."

After the doctor left Glenna started talking to me. "I wondered why you were acting so funny before you went on this trip. Now I know why we had that great love making session before you left. If I didn't love you so much I would hate you for lying to me.

"I talked to Doc Elliot and he told me you signed a paper for him not to tell me. I hated you for that until the doctor told me why. After he found out I knew about your tumor he told me the story about your dad. You forgot the part where we all had a chance to say goodbye to him and tell him how much we loved him. How we reminisced with him about you growing up and all the wonderful stories he told us.

"How do you think Marty and Brenda would have felt not being able to say goodbye to their father? Gregg, we're a family; you don't have to go through times like this alone. Good times and bad, for better or for worse, through sickness or in health, I took a vow to always be there for you. I want you to remember that.

"By the way, there is someone here who wants to see you. I'm staying in your hotel room with a couple of friends," smiled Glenna.

Who would she be staying with? Surely she didn't find out about my little venture into fantasy land. Please, God, tell me she's not getting even with me.

I looked up and there stood my son and daughter standing next to their mother.

"Hi, Dad," said Brenda as she kissed my forehead. "You scared us to death. Mom flew out on the first flight to Reno. Marty and I got here yesterday. Our spouses are taking care of your grandkids. God, Dad, we love you so much. Mom has hardly left your side. We're here for you, Dad, just remember that."

I knew I had tears in my eyes. My son Marty came over and talked to me also. He told me that Brenda and he would be staying for a couple of more days. He was so glad that I was going to make it. He told me he needed me around for a few more years to help explain women to him. He wanted to make sure that I told him the key to a successful marriage. Glenna and Brenda both laughed. They knew that no man would ever understand women.

Epilogue:

I was released from the hospital in Reno four days later. I did take chemotherapy for two months until Doc Elliot gave me a clean bill of health. He never questioned my decision even though he knew it was wrong. He really is a good doctor.

It was three months before Glenna and I started making love again. We did a lot of hugging and cuddling until then. I did use my fingers on her most all the time. She even used her hand on me at least once a week. The first few times it did hurt in my stomach region. I guess it pulled my stomach muscles which took the longest to heal.

When we were back making love I told Glenna how much I loved her. Being with her and making love to her was like no other. We knew each other's likes and dislikes and I knew what made her climax.

I hoped that she would never find out that I cheated on her. It was a mistake I could never take back and would always remember. One night after making love and she was lying next to me she said she had a question for me.

"What is it, Honey?" I asked.

"Do you love me with all your heart and soul?" she asked.

"Of course I do. Why would you ask such a question? You are my life," I replied.

"Did you get it out of your system, you know, your fantasies? Please don't lie to me," she asked.

She knew. How? I will never know. She could read me like a book. Maybe she just knew I was never able to get away with lying to her. She had some kind of special intuition.

"I love you, Glenna. I don't ever want to be with another women. I don't need fantasies; I have you. If you have any questions for me, I promise you I will be honest with you."

I knew I couldn't lie to her. If she would ask me about my cheating, I would tell her. I would hope that it wouldn't end our marriage. After all I did it because I thought I was dying. It might not be a good enough reason but it was the truth.

Glenna looked me straight in the eye. "Gregg, they say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. The same thing goes for Reno. I hope you learned your lesson. I have no questions for you but it better never happen again."

To this day I honestly believe she understood. She really was a one of a kind woman and I was very lucky to have her.

It's been five years and three more grandkids later and Glenna has never brought it up again. I thank God every day for Glenna. She really is my life, my rock. If anything the operation has shown us how vulnerable life is. We can be taken any day so we make sure that our last words every night are "I love you."

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Thank you for reading my story

Comments are always welcome, I do understand that not every story is for everyone.

DG Hear