I Am Where You Belong

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Pultoy
Pultoy
325 Followers

"Lord, I pray for that young woman. She, like we have all done to You, has gone astray and seeks her acceptance back into someone's loving arms. Father, soothe that woman's husband, and her, with that Balm of Gilead over their wounded soul and bring them to the knowledge of Your love, Your Mercy and Your Forgiveness." Bill prophetically prayed.

All Heaven stood silent as those words, pleading for God's own chosen, resounded in the Ears of the Almighty One.

April cried all the way to her car and drove home sobbing and crying. She fell into her bed, numb.

Into her pillow, she said, "God, if you are real, would you please look down on me and make yourself known to me. I have done my husband wrong and it didn't start there, I've done folks wrong all my life and it has hurt me worst of all. It's time to stop this cycle of self-destruction, and destruction of others, especially the one I love the most, and I need you to lead me and direct me, please; In Jesus' name, Amen." She was asleep with her very next breath.

Tom laid the night away shaking and quivering on the bathroom floor of his apartment in Downtown Denver. Tom Teeter had had a stroke at 29 years old.

Myrtle used her key and let herself in to Tom's apartment to sneak around and see what he had in is apartment the next morning. She figured he'd gone to work by then and she liked to go in there and snoop through his things. He'd given her a key when she was helping take care of April and she had never given it back to him.

"My God, Tom, what's happened, are you all right?" Myrtle was startled when she saw him lying on the bathroom floor.

Tom mumbled but made no sense. Something was obviously wrong. She saw that he had both shit and pissed himself. Myrtle dialed 911 and Tom was taken to University Hospital.

"Promising young State Road Engineer Found clinging to life in His downtown apartment" read the headlines of the following morning's Denver Post. Tom's file photo was beside the article, it was the lead story, top half, and front page.

April's boss called her into his office and asked if she'd seen this morning's headline, tossing the paper across his desk. With horror she recognized her ex-husband's face and the headline. She ravenously read the article.

"Mr. White, can I please have the day off. I need to go to the hospital and see after Tom?" she pleaded with shaking hands and pale face. Tears streaming already down her cheeks.

Not waiting for an answer, she ran from her boss' office and to the parking lot. Crying all the way, she made the 40 minute drive to UCH without hitting anyone or anything, to her surprise. She ran into the hospital and asked for the stroke ward.

"2nd floor on your right out of the elevator miss." The security guard pointed to the elevator doors.

April dashed into the stroke ward, up to the nurses desk and the desk clerk saw her panic. She recognized what would be a bad situation for whomever patient was about to receive this person.

April asked, "Tom Teeter where is he? I'm his wife."

"I'll get the doctor Mrs. Teeter, wait here please."

April waited, pacing.

"Mrs. Teeter, I'm Dr. Gary Ortiz. I am treating Mr. Teeter. Are you and our patient together, ma'am?"

"No, we've divorced, but have been talking about reconciliation recently. He needs me doctor, I need to see him and to be here for him." April begged, tears flowing onto her blouse.

"Your ex-husband is resting at this time. We've sedated him heavily and are still assessing the severity of the stroke, Mrs. Teeter. At this time, it appears to have been somewhat less than a massive stroke. He has feeling in his extremities, but he cannot communicate yet. That is not uncommon in the first few hours and days. We need to continue to observe him carefully."

"Ok, thank you so much doctor. Please tell me where he is so I can go to him and comfort him." April asserted.

"Right now, I am ordering no visitation until we are sure he is stable. Since you are estranged from him we are not obligated to provide you with access. First our responsibility is to our patient and secondly to the family. Until Mr. Teeter can provide us positive feedback about his desire to see you, we cannot allow you in with him, I'm sorry, ma'am." Dr. Ortiz firmly replied.

"Ok, I understand. Can I wait somewhere? Will you come get me when he comes around? I'll just be here waiting." April relented.

"You can wait in the general waiting area in the lobby downstairs, Mrs. Teeter. I need to see to my patients." Dr. Ortiz dismissed her and turned to leave.

The desk clerk heard the conversation and Ortiz caught her eye as he turned. His facial tic was clear that Mrs. Teeter was not allowed in to this ICU.

As awareness returned to Tom Teeter, he woke from his sleep, he could tell things weren't the same as before. And, he felt an intrusion around his groin; he heard beeping and whirring noises. Immediately on opening his eyes, a young male nurse was at his side.

"Mr. Teeter, I am Brian. I am your day nurse and you are in University of Colorado Hospital. You've had a stroke Mr. Teeter, but it wasn't too severe and you should make a full recovery. I need you to be a good patient and listen to me, ok?"

Tom, tried to talk, could not so he just nodded. He grabbed for the area around his groin and Brian stopped his hand.

"Mr. Teeter, you have a catheter. It is in your bladder so we can assure that your body functions. We will remove it as soon as you are fully awake and we are sure you can void when you need to. Just be patient. Things are strange for you but you are doing just great."

April waited in the lobby. She knew she dare not make even one miss-step. If she could get the opportunity to nurse Tom back to health, things might be ok. She needed an opportunity to do for Tom what he'd done for her. Love him through his humiliation, his shame and embarrassment. "Give me that chance, Lord, give me that chance."

Tom spent 1 week in the hospital ICU and 4 weeks in rehab adjoining the hospital. He had indicated to the medical staff, as soon as he could communicate, that April was not to be admitted to see him, whatsoever at all. When they spoke of her to him, they noted his blood pressure and heart rate climbed to alarmingly dangerous levels, so they took their cue and distributed her picture from the security camera videos around to all personnel stationed by all entrances to the facility that she was persona non grata; not to be admitted.

Tom's rehabilitation was going well. The psychiatrist assigned to most new stroke patients, Dr. Harold Smythe, detected that the only real threat to Tom's health was the unusual reaction his cardio vascular system had when his ex-wife was the subject. The Doctor wrote in Tom's chart that, "everything possible should be attempted to keep Tom safe from her intrusion until he was sufficiently recovered enough to manage his own security." Meanwhile, the psychiatrist was trying to find a way to relieve Tom of some of the pressure that was associated in his mind concerning his ex-wife.

Dr. Smythe searched his notes and finally Tom's chart for any clue that might infer an answer about Tom's unusual fixation of hatred for April Teeter. He sat down with the entire chart, encompassing from the time Tom was admitted until and through the last notes from rehabilitation. It was an extensive file and he intended to read every word, if need be to find some clue.

The psychiatrist did not have far to read. There, on the morning of admission, 5 weeks previous, the notes from the ER nurse: "In attempting to catheterize the patient, we found his sexual organ to be extremely small. His urethra is of normal size and testicles are normal. We had trouble getting the catheter tubing inserted into patient's urethra because there was so little to hold onto to get the catheter started."

Dr. Smythe reasoned that Tom's divorce might well have had something to do with the male issue of size and the wife's possible infidelity or some ongoing struggle about the size of Tom's genetilia, between them that finally pushed Tom over the edge. In any case, Dr. Smythe was betting that Tom's issues with April were now identified. The doctor was confident that he could treat Tom, now that he had a foothold as to where Tom's insecurities lay.

Tom saw Dr. Smythe every day, 5 days per week for 8 weeks after that discovery and twice per week for 3 months after that, then once per week for 3 more months. Dr. Smythe identified with Tom, shared pertinent studies and information with him about male size and the effects on a man's ability to be normal. Tom wept bitterly as he recalled dozens of incidences throughout his life that brought him to shame and embarrassment. People were cruel, mean.

After almost 80 sessions with Dr. Smythe, Tom finally, to his credit and mental well-being, disclosed fully his relationship with April. He started from the beginning and went all the way through the end of the marriage, cleansing himself of the bitter hurt and terrible pain suffered. Dr. Smythe, more than any person alive, knew about Tom's deepest pain, most haunting self-doubts, and understood Tom's hatred for the woman with who he once had such soaring hopes for sharing happiness.

Tom had regained over 90% of his motor skills and they told him in another year he should have close to 100% recovery. It was a matter of retraining his body where skills were lost due to the stroke. His physical health was good and his prognosis was excellent. Tom was young and fit going into this, so he should be able to have a perfectly normal life afterwards, if he managed his stress.

Dr. Smythe counseled him intensely about losing emotional control over April. Smythe was aware that Mrs. Teeter had made repeated efforts to see and talk to Tom; he knew she was repentant and wanted to be available to Tom for any of his needs in rehabilitation.

Finally, Tom agreed with the doctor that it would be important for him to finally, once and for all have that conversation with April and face this horrible demon of doubt and hurt, anger and desire for revenge.

April closed her Bible after reading, "Love covers a multitude of wrongs."

"Forgive me Father for my sins against You and my husband. Love him through me, Jesus. Let his suffering be to YOUR Glory in the end of all this, let me now be an instrument of YOUR Peace. Amen."

April stood in front of the door, ready to knock on the door to Tom's apartment.

Tom opened the door, "April, you look so pretty today. Come in."

"Thank you, Tom. I am so happy to see that your recovery appears complete?" she turned the statement to a question at the last.

"Yes, they tell me I'll make a full recovery, thank God".

Silently, "thank God, indeed." She thought while smiling.

"Can I offer you coffee or soda or something?" Tom asked.

"Water, Tom, Please, or whatever you're having. Thank you."

Tom sat her water in front of her on the table and sat down across from her, nothing in front of him. There was silence for a few moments, an uneasy quiet.

Here they were, two dear friends, become lovers, become spouses, become bitter enemies who'd inflicted egregious pain on one another, sitting across the table with little to say: She, afraid to say the wrong thing, he, exercising control of his emotions not needing to fill the void with words. A year had passed since they'd been in the same room, alone together. She had asked for the meeting, the floor was hers.

"Tom, do you have any needs?" she queried.

"Yes, of course, April. I have many needs." His answer was direct, not offering more than she asked.

"I mean, can I be of any help to you?" April tried again.

"Well, April. I can answer that in at least 2 ways, right? One way, 'yes' and tell what they are. Or the other way is 'no'. And leave it at that. No!"

"I, I want to help you heal. I want to offer you the compassion you showed me. I, I... need to be your shelter from the storms of life that you were to me. I... need to make your humiliation like you made mine, not an issue, not any longer a problem. I want to love you like I learned that you loved me."

"April, I..."

She interrupted, "Tommy, I want to look into your face at the moment when you realize that 'I am where you belong;' that love does exist for you, and that it's in me. I was foolish, baby. I've had men throw themselves at me all my life but I've never known love; until I met you. I'm going to fight for that love, fight to make you see that when you look into the abyss, love is looking back at you, not just the abyss of your fears and past looking back."

"Ok, that's real nice, April. Thank you for telling me that; is there anything else?" He stood and began for the door.

"No, Tommy. There is no more. There is plenty, but no more than what I've said, other than I lov YOU." She stood from the table and touched his cheek. Huge tears welled in her eyes, one escaped, making a wet trail down her cheek onto her jaw and then to her blouse.

April walked through the door, unsteady, like she was in a dream. It seemed unreal. She'd failed? What now? Where now? She slowly walked down the hall to the elevator, silently weeping, tears streaming. The elevator door opened; she stepped in.

'"I am where you belong" she had said.' Tom thought as he watched her walk away, tears also forming in his eyes. This would be it.

"April, wait" Tom cried out in agony.

The elevator door had nearly closed, April heard his cry, and slammed her arm in the closing door's path. It dinged open and she stepped out blinking through her tears at him. He began to run, sobbing, towards her, she ran to him, weeping, gasping, moaning in agony, and they met half way between the elevators and the door to his apartment.

Their embrace was desperate, their tears flowing like streams in a long-time dry desert, their words not spoken. Sobs of remorse and forgiveness were the sounds. The release of pent-up hatred and anger towards her, forgiving her, served to free Tom. Repentance, and receiving his forgiveness and re-committment freed April.

"You will never regret this baby. 'I am where you belong;' I am love, I love you, and you will come to see that" she wept into his shoulder.

Tom had no words. Just sobs. They held onto one another for minutes. Myrtle McComb witnessed it all from her little peep hole in the door at the end of the hall.

"They sure do make a handsome couple, don't they" she said to no one.

She drew a circle and put me out,
A heretic, a rebel, a thing to flout.

But, love and I, with a will to win,
drew a circle and took her in.

-----------------------

Thank you for reading my story. The courtesy of your vote is appreciated.

-Pultoy

Pultoy
Pultoy
325 Followers
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  • COMMENTS
75 Comments
Booboo12629Booboo12629about 1 hour ago

The story was good until the end when you left everything hanging. You should have finished the rest of the story to show how they dealt with all the serious issues. I wish hadn't read it because you stopped in the middle with a maudlin "and they lived happily ever after" ending.

BodyThiefByTheBayBodyThiefByTheBay11 months ago

The way of raac was not done well. If he stop her from leaving and continued the talk and maybe add couple counseling, maybe just maybe, raac. Like many previous comments, there are many unresolved issues and one that CAN’T be resolved.

Is she trying to get together because of love or making subconscious amends?

kirei8kirei8over 1 year ago

All the same problems still exist before her "awakening". He still has a little dick she is a thirty year old beauty challenged every day by men, and now knows how good a big dick feels. I see his hatred turning to desperation and her "awakening" of the unbearable grief she caused him BUT NOTHING HAS CHANGED. If another author continues this story, he will probably have Tom kill her after a short while.

dirtyoldbimandirtyoldbimanover 1 year ago

A "Short" story? LOL

FlynnTaggartFlynnTaggartover 1 year ago

Low score. This feels like a RAAC, a definite RAAC with him taking her back because she was the only woman he knew about his literal shortcomings. She was cruel, horrific towards him, and he still took her back. The reason she cheated on him and their eventual break up was not resolved, she's just going to wind up cheating again or live a life unsatisfied but with her cheating already on the man she claims to love its not like it wouldn't be unexpected to do it again. If she hadn't been so publicly cruel in their break up and his "penis problem" was solved (he apparently had plenty of money, was expecting to look into surgical options) this story might have been considerably better.

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