I Didn't Know: An Incestual Journey

The results were in. I gingerly opened the envelope and pulled out the form. Closing my eyes, I opened it in my hands. I opened my eyes and looked.

Oh god, no. Please no. Sure enough, David was my father.

It hadn't really hit me yet. I shakily picked up the phone and dialled his number. I just felt numb. His voice came on the line. "David, can I come over? There's something I need to tell you" I said. No hint of emotion in my voice.

He opened the door and invited me in. He asked me if I wanted a cup of tea and I shook my head no. He looked so tense, I hated seeing him like this. It almost made me hate myself. We sat down in the living room. "So.. what do you need to tell me?" he asked.

"Oh David, David you're my father" I said, my voice breaking. I began to sob, my head in my hands, leaning down to my knees. "Oh jesus.. oh sweetheart no" he sat down beside me and held me tight, partly to just stop me from falling to the floor. I just sobbed in his arms. "Oh Cassie I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, so sorry" he held me in his arms. I gave him the paper that proved it and he took one look and I saw that he had tears in his eyes. We held on to each other for dear life and cried at our misfortune. How could this have happened? It was so cruel, so cruel. We were there for hours, holding each other and crying and getting up to get tissues and shaky cups of tea. But mainly we just held each other. By five o clock I was exhausted. Just completely mentally exhausted from thinking and crying too hard. "I have to go home" I said. "Yes, you must" he nodded. "But I don't want to go" I said, looking up at him. "You know that, don't you?" "Yes, yes I do" he said. I got up and he held me for what must have been about five minutes. I left. I had to. It took my everything to leave that day.

How could this have happened? I thought. How could I not know that he was my own father? I didn't. I had no idea until I saw that picture. We don't look alike, but then I look nothing like my mother either. But the test proved it. He was my father.

I wanted to forget. I wanted so desperately to forget how his hands felt on my body. How they soothed me. How it felt so right. Wanted to forget how his lips felt on mine and how his warm, brown eyes burned into mine.

How could I do this to my own father? "You didn't know!" my own thoughts screamed through my head. I put my head in my hands. How could he have done this to me? Now that wasn't fair. I didn't think that at all. He didn't know! He knew nothing just like I did. He didn't know I was his daughter the same as I didn't know he was my father. Besides, I had wanted it as much as he did.

What am I going to do? I paced across my living room, lost in thought. I've found a man that I love, the only man I've ever loved and he turns out to be my fucking father? Christ. What am I going to do? What can I do?

I don't want him to hate me.

**********

I don't want her to hate me, I pondered the next morning, deep in thought. I was disgusted with myself. How could I do that to my own daughter? "But you didn't know!" my own voice broke into my thoughts suddenly, coming back at me. I didn't know that she was my daughter. I had no idea. I thought that she was just the most perfect and beautiful woman I had ever seen or been with. Too beautiful. Too perfect.

But what a woman she had become.

How could I defile the most precious thing in the world?

I felt like the most terrible person on earth. It made me want to end it all, I felt so low. I didn't want to go near her because of my feelings toward her, I had to shield her from this monster I felt I had become.

How couldn't I have known somehow? I didn't. She was nothing like how I would expect a child of mine to look like, and I didn't even know that I had one until yesterday. It was so bizarre. I just wasn't sure if I could cope with what I had done. I put my arms round my legs on the stairs like I had done as a boy and wept.

I woke up on the couch to the phone ringing. I picked up and it was her.

"Can I come round?" she asked. "Yes, you can come round" I said wearily. I hung up and looked in the mirror. I looked terrible. My eyes were bloodshot from crying so much the night before and falling asleep on the couch.

I heard the doorbell.

I opened the door and there she was, standing there. I gestured for her to come in. She looked at me worriedly. "What happened to you?" she asked. "Rough night" I said. She must have known. She had no makeup on but still looked as perfect as the day I first saw her. I told her to sit down and made us both tea. I think we needed to have a little talk now we had both faced the facts. I looked at her and she didn't look happy. She looked withdrawn, worried, disturbed. I sat down next to her. "What is it that's troubling you, other than us?" I prodded gently. "Is there something else that's happened? Is anything else wrong?" she shook her head no. "What is it then, sweetheart? You can tell me anything" I told her softly. She looked like she was about to cry. "I just.. I just don't want you to hate me" she trembled. "No sweetie, of course not. I don't hate you, why on earth would I hate you?" "Because of what happened"

I took her face in my hands. "Shh, neither of us knew, it's not your fault that we didn't know" "but it is my fault that I still have feelings for you. Nothing has changed in that way" she said. She began to cry. I put my hand round her shoulders to comfort her. "No, it's not your fault. You didn't know. I didn't know. There was nothing we could have done" She looked up at me. "So you don't hate me?" "I couldn't hate you, sweetie. You're my daughter". She looked at her knees. "But I still want you" she whispered. "And that's why I don't think we should see each other for a while" I finished. She looked at me in amazement and then got upset again. "Sweetheart", I tried desperately, "I want to see you, but not like this. I cant.. we cant.." She nodded numbly. "But it doesn't stop me from wanting to" "I know" I said reassuringly. "I know how you feel but we can't let that overwhelm us. It's dangerous, you know that, and that's why I can't be around you at the moment" I said finally. She nodded. "I'll go" she said abruptly. "I'm sorry" I said to her. She turned around on the doorstep. "You aren't the only one who is horrified" she said. She turned and walked to her car. I watched her as the car pulled away from the drive. I couldn't tell her that I wanted her just as much because it was taking all my energy to fight it. How could I tell her? It would ruin her life.

I opened the doors weeks later to find her standing there.

"I have something to tell you" she told me. "Come in". I took her coat and scarf and she came and sat down. She seemed eager to tell me. "So.. what is it?" I asked, my curiosity piqued. She leant forward and spoke, breathily, "I know what's wrong with us". I jolted. "What do you mean?" I asked. "I mean, I know why we want each other, that's what" she replied. She was on the edge of her seat. "Yeah, I'm a monster.." I started "No!" she practically shouted, "I've read up on it, it's called GSA, were not the only ones". "What's GSA?" I asked, leaning back in my seat. "Genetic Sexual Attraction. Oh David, there's thousands of people doing it" I sat up. "That doesn't mean that its right" I said bleakly. "But it proves that we can't help it, its where siblings or next of kin are brought up without each other. We are all programmed with a natural attraction to our parents and siblings so that when we grow up we love each other unconditionally, however when we are brought up without each other for years and years this natural attraction forms into a strong physical and sexual one due to the lack of contact". "Oh, so it's my fault now?" I said, "Brilliant". "No, you're missing the point David" she almost jumped out of her chair. "We didn't know each other, so as soon as we saw each other we felt instantly very strongly attracted to each other". "I suppose that would make sense", I said, "as soon as I saw you I wanted to know you more than anyone I've ever known, you were like a magnet" I confessed. "You were like a magnet too", she said, clutching her mug. She put the mug down. "As soon as we made contact in that coffee shop, I knew how much I wanted you" she said simply. "What that means David is that we are not alone. Thousands of other adults are feeling this way right this very moment. Hundreds of adult women are going to bed with their father tonight, many knowing who they are sleeping with. We didn't even know David. You're not a monster" I flinched. "You're not!" she said loudly/sharply, her voice shaky. "If you're a monster then what on earth does that make me?" I looked at her, wide eyed. "Oh jesus, Cassie no, there's nothing wrong with you" I told her. "Then you must stop blaming yourself and realise that there is nothing wrong with you, either" she got up. "Look it up David, please look it up. It explains everything. I'm going now but please, you have to understand, just promise me you'll look it up".

"Alright", I said numbly.

"Good. Call me when you realise that there's nothing wrong with you, will you? I'm worried about you".

She left.

I looked it up. She was right. I found helpful sites online that explained what I was going through. It explained that related adults can feel a strong sexual attraction to each other due to a lack of a previous relationship with the other individual. I went to the library and got some books out on the subject of adult consensual incest which had accounts of it from people like my daughter, and people like myself. Men who felt they were going crazy or that there was something wrong with them due to their attraction to a sibling or an adult next of kin. There were psychology experts that explained that it was a perfectly natural reaction in adult relatives who have never met and that it is surprising that there aren't many more known incidences of it. But there were thousands of documented cases already. Maybe I wasn't a monster after all.

I realised that the day I had met Cassie was the first day I had ever resigned myself to not being alone. Men do get lonely. Whatever some people believe I don't know, but believe it or not, jerking off isn't everything to a man. I could live without it if only I had those perfect tits bouncing up and down and that sweet pussy of hers every day. Most men would kill to have a woman like Cassie.

After a week of thinking of all the complications and the situation and coming to a decision i called her up.

"Hello?"

It was so good to hear her voice again. "Cassie?"

"Oh David! It's so good to hear from you!"

"....I know I'm not crazy".

"Good".

"What is it they say nowadays? As long as it doesn't scare the cows" I said and she laughed. I realised that I hadn't heard her laugh in weeks. Just hearing her laugh meant so much to me. I was smitten with her as a lover, like a boy with his first crush. But this time I knew it was for real. This was my soulmate. No doubt about it. Some cruel twist of fate had made this woman my daughter but like many others before me I was not going to let this damning fact prevent me from being with the woman that I love more than anything.

"..Do you want to come over?"

"-Id love to".

"Okay, well I'll see you in a little while, just come round when you are ready" I hung up.

I sat down and waited for her.

**********

He opened the door and his eyes widened as he saw me. "Can I come in?" I smiled. "Yes, yes of course you can" he said. I went in and he removed my coat.

"Would you like a drink?" he asked.

"Yes please. Can I have tea?"

"Sure" he replied. He fixed our drinks and sat down next to me in the living room.

"How have you been?" I asked.

"Better" he replied, taking a sip of his tea. "How have you been keeping?"

"I'm feeling much better now that I've seen you" I replied truthfully. I put my tea down and touched his arm. I wanted him to know how much I had missed him. He put his tea down and put his arm round me to give me a hug. I leant over him and planted a gentle kiss on his lips, tilting his chin with my hand. I kissed him again, just enough for that spark, just enough to tell him what I wanted. "Please kiss me" I mumbled. I sat on his lap astride him, facing him and began to kiss him deeply, forcing my tongue into his mouth, grinding my hips into his lap.

All of a sudden he kissed me back with such a force that I was blown away. He kissed me back hard and pressed me up against him. "Mmm!" I responded. I moved off of his lap and he came with me, rolling on top of me, kissing down my neck, squeezing my ripe breasts under his firm hands. Fuck it felt so good. He moved his hand lower and I then realised what he wanted too. He pulled my dress up and saw that I was wearing no panties.

I smiled at him cheekily. I had planned to seduce my father.

"Upstairs!" he said, in mock anger.

I ran.

**********

I flung her onto the bed, her legs spread as she sat up. I grabbed her hips and pulled her to the edge of the bed firmly. I wanted to do this properly. "Don't move" I warned as I knelt down and began to kiss up her inner thigh. I felt her tremble as my mouth brushed further.. further.. up to her pussy. When I got close I retreated and kissed her kneecap before kissing my way up her other thigh. "Oh please! Higher!" she moaned. I held her hips firmly from behind so that she couldn't fall back on the bed and kissed the top of her thigh. I could smell her arousal. I had reached my most precious destination. I plunged my tongue inside her as deep as I could go, feeling her, tasting her juices. I pulled out and nibbled on her tight outer labia. "What do you want more than anything?" I asked her, licking her as I murmured into her curls. "To come" she shuddered as I bathed her pussy lips in my saliva. Okay then. I buried my face between her legs, licking her with no abandon. If that's what my girl wanted then she was bloody well going to get it. With one hand still supporting her so that she didn't fall back, my other hand went straight between her creamy thighs. I slid one finger inside her then another, finding her wet and pliable, my fingers reaching up to find that bumpy spot women seemed to love so much, my mouth on her clit, my tongue flicking over her exposed digit, hard and pink between my lips. "Oh.. oh David.. I'm.. I'm.." she moaned. I lapped at her clit like an animal. "I'm going to come" I'm.. I'm" both hands went to the back of my head as she ground herself against my face. "Fuck!" she screamed as she bucked against me. "Mmm" I murmured as she relaxed, holding the back of my head close. Her come was thick and creamy on my fingers and I licked her juices off of my hand and stuck my tongue back into her cunt. She was like a faucet. My face was shiny and wet with her juices. I kissed her pussy. I looked up at her and she smiled. She stroked my hair. "That was too perfect"

"You drive a hard bargain"

I held her for a moment and kissed her forehead. She ran her hand down to the front of my trousers and gasped appreciatively. "You gonna take your cock out for me, big boy?" she asked, leaning back on the bed, her eyebrows arched. I realised that she was testing the bonds of our love. I stood up and took down my trousers, stepping out of them, leaving my boxers on. I stood in front of her, my cock straining against the material. She took her hand and stroked the outline of my cock. She leant forward and ran her tongue over my cock, still encased in the thin material of my boxers. She moved away, looking up at me solemnly. "May I?" she asked.

I nodded.

She dropped my boxers and gazed at my cock, which was getting harder every second almost just from her staring at it. She gripped my cock in her hand and began pumping me up and down the length of my cock. She looked up at me and smiled, that sexy, turned on smile. She then licked the tip of my cock, then along my shaft, stopping to lick the sensitive underside, before taking me into her mouth and moving it back and forth on my cock which caused me to moan. It felt so good. I watched her as she worked my cock, it turned me on so much seeing her hot little mouth on me. I wanted to come. I wanted her to see how worked up she had got me. Wanted her to know how many nights I had jerked off thinking about her which never seemed to be enough. That's it girl, suck that cock. Mmm. She looked so into it, sucking my big cock like a pro. I wondered if it made her pussy wet. I looked at the way her tits moved slightly as she did. Beautiful. I ran my hands to the back of her head, through her hair as it tickled my thighs, which I barely noticed and thrust into her mouth. She opened her eyes and looked up at me again and that really did it, seeing her look up at me with my cock in her mouth, her lips wrapped around me."Ahh" I groaned as I felt myself coming into her mouth. She never moved a muscle. She just looked up at me, then closed her eyes as I held her to me. "Wow". I managed to say after a minute or so. She let my cock slip out of her mouth. As she looked up at me I knelt down and took her face into my hands and kissed her deeply. I then picked her up and lay her down on the bed and she curled up against me into a spooning position. I shut my eyes and felt her under my fingertips.

I woke up during the night, it was 02:00AM, hours had passed. The lamp was on. She was awake, her hand between her legs, eyes half closed. I leant over and kissed her and she smiled. "And what have you been thinking of?" I asked her, slightly amused. "How you would feel inside me again" she said, looking at me hard. I kissed her passionately, and within in instant she was kissing me back, her hand from between her legs on my cheek. She pushed her finger into my mouth and I tasted her essence. "How would you like to fuck me, David?" she asked, studying my reaction. "Love to" I mumbled. I realised that she was testing the bonds of our love. I lay her down and stared at her body for a moment. She was perfect. Her breasts were divine. Her tits were hard and her pussy was glistening in the light. Fuck, what a woman. Within a minute I was inside her, feeling her tight walls open up to me again. "Gah", she gasped, her hands moving to my shoulders, gripping me tight. She felt so good wrapped around my cock, so warm and soft but tight at the same time. What a perfect combination. You wouldn't believe how it felt. This woman that I made writhing below me. She squeezed my ass as I thrust into her, over and over, hearing her cry out again and again.

The next morning I had her over the table downstairs on her knees, my cock buried deep inside her pussy. I began to thrust into her hard, my hands on her hips from behind holding her to me, my balls slapping against her perfect butt. "Ohh, Daddy!" she cried out as she flung her head back. It didn't stop me. I shot a load into her pussy, holding her still as I began to relax. She leant up on her knees and leaned into me, sighing. I picked her up and put her on my bed upstairs while I ran her a bath. When it was ready I picked her up and she clung onto me. I sat her in the bath, and she leant back, her breasts bobbing on the surface, her eyes closed. I watched her for a minute. I went downstairs and opened a bottle of champagne and brought it to the bathroom. After we had a drink I nudged her. "Come on, arms up" she grinned and I began to sponge her torso. Her nipples got very hard and she was smiling at me. That sexy, catlike smile. "Are you going to be good or do I have to leave you to wash yourself?" I asked playfully. "Try me" she said, grinning. This was getting way too arousing for me. She turned around and wiggled her butt at me so I gave it a playful slap and she grabbed my hands and brought them to her breasts. I got in the tub with her and pinned her up against the wall and she moaned as I penetrated her from behind, my hands moving from her hips to grope her breasts as I spoke to her. "You like driving me wild, don't you? You love getting my dick hard and teasing me with your body, hmm?" "Daddy.." she moaned. "Oh, so you think you're a Daddy's girl, huh? If that's what you wanna be then that's what I will treat you as" "Daddy fuck me hard" she said impatiently. The way she called me Daddy made me feel a bit weird, I didn't know whether I liked it or I didn't, but she was squeezing my cock inside her which was making me really want to fuck her even more. "Don't you like your cock being deep inside me, Daddy?" she asked, thrusting her hips back at me. "Yes darling, I love my cock being inside you" I squeezed her breasts and felt her hardened nipples under my palms. "You make me so wet Daddy" "Sweetheart.." I didn't know what to say. I loved feeling her and if she wasn't my real daughter then I probably would have found it sexy but this was no play acting: this was real. I held her to me tightly. "Im going downstairs" i said. I withdrew from her and got out of the tub. She turned around, confused. "What's wrong?" she asked quizzically. I stood there for a moment. She knew. "Oh", she said, turning around. "Cassie please try and understand" I started. "David, you aren't the only one you know, I do have to live with the fact that you're my father so I may as well get used to the fact" she said.