I Keep Giving Him Everything

I am a white woman who has a black lover and I can't see my life any other way than with him on the side. We are both married to other people and have been seeing each other for almost 8 years now. What started off as two friends that wanted to get to know each other a little better has turned out to be a full-blown affair. I had a week without him because he was on vacation with his wife and youngest daughter and I had some time to sit and reflect on our relationship.

On several occasions, I have asked Jim why he keeps on going with me and his answer is "Because you suck a good cock" and that leads me to the question "Is that the only reason??" He tells me that it is more than that but he will not commit or say anything more.

It was early on in our relationship when I was able to put a few dollars aside every week and saved up $100 and knowing that I can't hold on to my money, I asked him to put it away for "us" so when we go to the hotel we will have the money for the room. He agreed and said he would put it away. A few weeks after that, he was invited by his friends to go camping but was going to turn down the offer because he did have any money go kick into the pot for the food and booze for the weekend getaway. I told him to use the $100 and he could replace it whenever he had the chance. He was so gracious and thankful that I offered him the money. He doesn't really talk too much about his spouse, but he never speaks badly of her. She is a very pretty white woman and I can't understand why he would want another woman, like me. He did say that his wife wouldn't give him the money for the trip and I was going to ask why but he said that she doesn't like one of his buddies because he cheated on his wife.

There were other occasions that I had asked him to hold a few dollars for me and he took from me and said he was saving it. There came a very rare opportunity that my husband was going to be away most of a Saturday with a few friends and since Jim works a half a day on Saturday, he sometimes has sometime after he gets out of work to do some fishing or hit the local bar with some of his buddies before going home. I asked him if he would be able to meet me at the hotel that Saturday that my husband would be away and he said that his schedule was clear and he would tell his wife something but wasn't sure what at the time we were discussing our plans. I asked him to bring the money he stashed away for this and he said that there wasn't any left. I was a little upset and then I remembered telling him if he ever ran short he could use it and put it back when he could. He said he's been using it and hasn't been able to replace it and was sorry. I happened to have gotten a little extra money that I could use for the hotel so we would be fine.

The afternoon delight as it is usually referred to at the hotel was so romantic. It was the best love making session of our relationship because we didn't have to rush through it and was able to enjoy some moments that we never did before. We had great oral as I love to such that extra large black cock of his and his balls. He sucked and nibbled and gave my 44DD titties a treat of a lifetime. I mentioned that I would love to have this more often and he said we would. I shaved my pussy bald for him that morning and he loved eating me out and letting me come all over his face. He fucked me hard and I came three more times for him and we went into the doggy position where he pounded me and I could hear the happy slaps of his black balls on my large white ass. He then lubed up his monster cock and slowly at first inserted it in my ass. I have never had it anal from anyone before and he was slow and took care not to hurt me. After the anal he placed me on my back and pounded me and I actually had screams of sheer pleasure as he then pulled out as he came into my mouth, on my face and all over those big white titties of mine.

Luck be on our side as we were able to steal an afternoon every now and then to go to the hotel and have more pleasure than the time before. All our other meetings are basically making out with each other, kissing, me sucking his cock in balls on a lunch hour or after work before heading home. If we do lunch, I always pick him up lunch for us which included our favorite beer and JD. I have always bought him gifts and some were snall and inexpensive but all had meaning behind

them. There were some costly gifts I bought him for Christmas, his birthday and sometimes I even spent more money on his gifts than my husband!!

I wasn't giving him any money to hold and didn't ask him to replace the money he "borrowed" from me as I knew he was having some financial issues. His wife was working too, but putting 2 girls through private high schools was costing and both needing braces. I have no children but managed to rack up some pretty steep bills that I have been able to pay off after receiving a small inheritance from my in-laws estate and my dad's as well. Mom passed much earlier than the others - we lost my in-laws and dad within a year a half.

There was the occasion when he ask me for a few dollars for gas or to go out with the guys and I couldn't turn him down. I know he has the money issues and I have a very soft spot for my lover. I know he's not my responsibility but I feel that I want to help him.

I sat alone for a few of my lunches during his vacation and I guess because I was looking for some of my "mad" money, I realized I gave him a nice "chunk" for his vacation. It made me stop and think that maybe he was using me for my money because he knows I came into some, but didn't know how much. Neither my parents or in-laws were very rich but we got a decent amount. We paid some of our large bills and paid off our mortgage so I did have some extra money that I would not normally have. We put some aside for a few home projects, which left us with a few dollars to play with.

Jim will be returning in a week and I keep going over in my head if I want to confront him on this or just enjoy the attention from him that I don't get at home. Sex at home doesn't exist and I am mentally and physically abused from time to time from my low life scum of a husband. I admitted to my best friend that I say with the fucking asshole for the money and how I use it to buy myself little treats that I would not be able to to do for myself. He drinks and gets high on his and I buy jewelry and clothes weekly.

What should I do?? I'll let you what my decision on talking to Jim about our relationship and what I actually mean to him. If I knew he would be leaving his wife, I would wait and get what I wanted from my husband and then ask for a divorce and get half of everything. Until then, I'm keeping my white as where it is.

to be continued.......