I Kissed a Girl Ch. 08

"Goodnight, my Kitty Kat. And goodnight, my baby bird."

I smiled sleepily. "Goodnight Mama Swallow. We love you."

###

I was well into my second trimester when the girls at work decided to throw me a baby shower. Jenna and I had decided to decorate the nursery with a green-and-yellow Winnie-the-Pooh theme. So it wasn't the typical pink baby booties and bottles for decorations at the restaurant.

We hadn't decided on a name, yet, but we had narrowed it down to five first and middle names. I prayed that the ultrasound was right and we were having a girl. I think Jenna would be more disappointed than I would if it ended up being a boy.

I almost cried when we opened Meredith and Joanie's gift of a trip to Hawaii once we were comfortable leaving our newborn alone with them. Then I did cry when my boss presented us with a scholarship to the college to be used when our daughter was ready to attend.

Jenna took a load and went out to pull the car around to the front of the restaurant while my coworkers helped clean up and gather the rest of the gifts and leftover food. I sat like a bump on a log in a cushioned chair and sipped my ginger ale. I passed the time rubbing my belly as our baby bird danced while I talked softly to her.

I didn't have as much swelling as I'd expected. And I'd definitely not gained as much weight as both Dr. Nayum and I thought I would. Especially since I couldn't get enough of Ben & Jerry's Half Baked ice cream. Then again, Jenna had insisted I walk on the treadmill at home when possible so I didn't get stiff joints just sitting around. As a result, I carried our volleyball-sized baby nice and high and was able to wear cute maternity clothes. And the morning sickness had departed a few weeks ago, thank the Lord!

When everyone had left except Meredith and Joanie, and Jenna still hadn't returned, Meredith suggested she go check on her. Then Joanie said she'd go with her just in case Jenna needed some help. Although they were persistent I stay right where I was, I insisted on not being left behind. So the two of them grabbed a few bags of gifts, and I waddled after them out the front entrance.

I heard yelling as we reached the side of the building. I couldn't see anything but several parked cars. Both Meredith and Joanie suddenly stopped, and I ran into them. Between their shoulders, I saw a pile of open boxes strewn on the sidewalk. Baby clothes were falling out of one of them. Next to the mess was Jenna's car with the rear passenger door open.

"Jenna!" I tried to push past my sister-in-law, but she had dropped the bags she was carrying and turned to stop me.

"Why can't you just leave us alone?" Jenna was crying.

"Because I love you!"

Lauren?

I shoved harder against Meredith. But now Joanie was blocking me, as well.

"How the hell did you—" Jenna started.

"I found Brad's wedding invitation." Lauren's voice was so high pitched and she was talking so fast, she sounded like she was on drugs. "Your address was on it. It took awhile to track you down. That crazy little cocksucker hid you away from me, but now—"

"You're the one who's crazy, bitch!" I yelled, breaking through the barrier of arms holding me back.

"Kat, no!" Jenna screamed.

I heard a loud crack, and then my legs crumpled beneath me.

Deep-sea diving. That's what it felt like. I'd only done it once, and it had only lasted a few minutes before I had freaked out from the intense pressure all around me and admitted defeat. Failure.

Just like before, my brain told me to head back to the surface when I couldn't breathe. As hard as I tried to swim upwards now, though, the further I felt pulled down. But I wouldn't give up. I couldn't give up.

It felt like I'd been trying for hours when I was finally able to force my eyes open. Then I was suddenly rushing through the water. I broke through the surface to hear screaming as my lungs sucked in blessed oxygen. People were standing over me, calling out my name.

That's when I felt the searing pain in my side. It pierced like a red hot poker right by my ribs and then quickly spread up to my armpit. I tried to reach out but couldn't move my arm. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

Despite my disorientation, my first thought was of Jenna. Then I thought of the baby. I cried and screamed at the intensifying pain.

Suddenly, breathing became a little easier. And then all discomfort was gone. I wondered if I was dying.

###

A steady, beeping sound was the first thing that processed in my head. Then I smelled the nauseating, antiseptic stench that all hospitals had. Soft whispers of people talking nearby reached my ears.

"The baby—"

"—see until—"

"—be okay—"

The more they talked, the more distinct the voices became.

"Her fingers moved!" That sounded like Meredith.

"Kat? Are you awake?" Joanie maybe?

Warm hands enveloped mine.

"Mrs. Swallow?" A male voice this time. "Can you hear me? Try opening your eyes."

I squeezed them tight instead as a marching band decided to practice between my ears. I licked my lips and mumbled, "I feel like shit."

"Oh, Kitty Kat," a familiar voice said in my ear as soft lips pressed against my cheek. My Jenna.

I managed to crack one eyelid. Even though that small action made my head throb more, I forced my other eye to open. I had to see her. To know she was really there.

A pair of searching, violet eyes were just inches from mine. They were glossy. As they blinked, the dark lashes surrounding them parted with teardrops clinging between them.

"Why do you have to be so gung-ho?" Jenna's voice caught as she spoke.

I dropped my gaze to her lips, which she suddenly licked. "Because I love you so much."

She frowned at me. "You scared me to death. Don't do it again."

"I'm sorry. I just reacted when I knew she was there." I took a deep breath. Then I cringed.

"You're going to be very tender for awhile, Mrs. Swallow," the male voice said on my left.

I turned my head and saw an older gentleman in a white coat standing beside my hospital bed, his hands busy with pressing buttons on a machine with a flashing number. A plastic bar on his left chest pocket said his name was Dr. Halstad.

"I have you on a very low dosage of painkillers so not to harm the baby..."

"The baby!" I tried to sit up and reached out blindly. A hand grasped mine, but Dr. Halstad gently pressed my shoulders until I was flat on my back again.

"She's fine," Jenna said as I swung my head to see her again.

"You're a very lucky lady," Dr. Halstad said. "The bullet was lodged just below your right armpit. There should be no permanent damage. But I want you to get weekly checkups with your obstetrician just to be safe. In the mean time, get some rest, and you can go home in a day or so if you're feeling up to it."

"Thank you, doctor," Jenna said, reaching across me to shake his hand.

He nodded to both of us and returned my chart to the bin attached to the end of the bed. "I'll check back on you this evening."

###

"When are they going to be done?" I mumbled, straining my neck again as I tried to see out the glass wall of my room in the ICU. I'd thought it was overkill to have me up here, but I'd found out that Dr. Nayum, our obstetrician, had insisted on it for the sake of the baby.

"I could close the curtain, if that would help?" Joanie said from where she sat on my right.

"No, I'd rather be able to see them."

"You need a distraction," Meredith said, flipping on the TV.

"Shut that off!" I snapped at her. "What I need is to know what they're saying."

She obeyed and slowly lowered the remote control.

Out of my peripheral vision, I saw her turn her head to following my own gaze where Jenna stood talking to two police officers by the nurses' station. They'd been out there at least thirty minutes after they'd interrupted my dinner.

"I bet she's pressing charges," Joanie said. She scooted her chair closer to my bed, and I cringed at the screeching sound the rubber tips on the legs made against the linoleum.

"She better," Meredith huffed.

We watched the silent conversation for another five minutes before the officers shook Jenna's hand. Then she was heading back toward my room. We didn't even try to act as if we were busy doing something else.

"So?" all three of us said as the glass door slid open to my room.

"Lauren has been charged with attempted murder and unlawful possession of a deadly weapon," Jenna said with a sigh. She took the chair on my right as Meredith vacated it. "She signed a confession and is taking a plea deal of twenty years. They're working on seeing if she can serve her time back in Illinois."

I closed my eyes and placed my hands on my belly. Oh, baby bird.

"It's going to be alright, Kat," Jenna whispered in my ear. Her hand covered mine, and our daughter kicked her agreement. "We are going to be alright."

###

"I don't want it!" I squeezed my eyes shut and gripped the bedsheet as I panted.

"Breathe in and out like they taught you in Lamaze class," Meredith said, wiping my forehead.

"Fuck Lamaze, I just want to...Oh, God!" I screamed as another contraction hit me.

"Call the nurse, Joanie," Jenna said. "She's getting an epidural."

"No," I moaned, shaking my head.

"Shh. It's okay, sweetie." Jenna took my hand and held our clenched fists between us as she leaned down and kissed my lips. "Look at me."

I focused on her violet gaze. Her radiant smile. Her perfectly combed hair that she'd pulled back in a braid. How the sweat on her own forehead just made her face glow. How the scrubs she'd been given fit her like a glove, emphasizing her luscious breasts that I'd been nuzzling just a few hours ago when my water broke.

Me? I was in a stupid hospital gown with my ass bared to the world. My hair was wild, wet, and half-plastered to my face. Everything about me ached, especially my back, my right armpit, and my left hand. The latter two were perpetual reminders of my war wounds, although the pain was dull or non-existent most of the time with my hand now.

"I hate you."

"I know. I love you, too, Kat." The love of my life just smiled at me.

I had recovered from another contraction when the nurse came in to check my dilation. Satisfied that we were on the right track, she started the epidural. I wanted to strangle her when she chirped, "It won't be long now." I'd already been there for three hours.

Joanie and Meredith pampered me with ice chips and cool rags while Jenna gave me a massage in between the nurse's check-ins. I tried not to look at the clock, but I couldn't help it. I was secretly hoping to hold out until after midnight.

Six hours later, I was exhausted from pushing. Jenna hadn't left my side, although Dr. Nayum had shooed Meredith and Joanie out of the birthing room. A nurse stood on each side of bed I'd been moved to, holding my feet and knees up and apart.

"One last push, Kat," Dr. Nayum said.

"You can do it." Jenna blew her breath slowly across my forehead as I squeezed her hands to death. "That's a good girl."

I'd never felt so much pain in my life. I'd thought my little volleyball belly was cute and small? Holy shit.

I was still bearing down when I heard multiple voices telling me to stop, push just a little more, then stop again. What the fuck? I wasn't trying to parallel park a car here!

The pressure between my legs increased exponentially. Suddenly, a repetitive cry rose over my gasping, and I froze. My eyes met Jenna's, and she was holding her breath as well.

"Congratulations, Mrs. and Mrs. Swallow. It's a girl!" Dr. Nayum said.

I was crying as a pink bundle was laid in my arms. Her own cries quieted as I cradled her delicate head against my breast. She turned into me and began nuzzling at the fabric covering my swollen mound.

"Let me," Jenna whispered, helping me get the gown off my shoulder and freeing my breast.

Our daughter moved her tiny mouth against my nipple—sans-piercing to Jenna's dismay—and eventually latched on to begin nursing.

"Looks like you have competition now," I grinned up at my wife.

"I'm more than happy to share with her." Jenna kissed the top of our baby bird's head and then kissed me on the lips. "Although I do miss—"

"I promise to get new piercings once she's outgrown breastfeeding."

She grinned back at me. "You'd better!"

###

I had just woken from a nap and finished feeding the baby again when there was a soft knock on the hospital room door. Meredith and Joanie poked their heads in.

"Sorry, we're getting anxious," Meredith whispered. "Is this a good time?"

I yawned. "Come on in."

They crowded around the right side of the bed.

"You look a million times better, Kat," Joanie said. "How do you feel?"

"Tired but elated." I couldn't stop smiling. "I've never been happier in my whole life."

"I will not take offense to that." Jenna turned from where she stood by the dark window. A pink bundle was swaddled in her arms.

Meredith gasped. "She's the most beautiful baby ever! I want to hold her."

"Me, too!" Joanie nodded, practically bouncing on her toes.

Jenna pulled the blanket back further from a tiny, yawning face. "May I present the newest addition to our family? Essie Mae Swallow. Born June 9th at 12:06am. Coming in at a petite 18 inches and 6.5 pounds. Ten perfect little toes and fingers."

I laughed as the two new aunties oohed and ahhed over our bundle of joy.

"Look at that blonde hair." Joanie lightly ran her finger over Essie's temple.

"And those bright blue eyes," Meredith cooed. "It'll be interesting to see if either change in the next few months. Are you still not telling us about the donor profile you picked out?"

I shook my head. "As long as she's healthy, her daddy doesn't matter."

"Will you tell her about him?" Meredith glanced at me as Jenna placed our baby in her sister's arms.

"Someday," Jenna nodded, making sure the blanket stayed tucked around Essie's arms and legs. "But for now, all that matters is we love her."

"So how hard was it?" Joanie took a seat beside my bed and crossed her arms on the sheet.

"Harder than I imagined." I smiled at Jenna. "But well worth it."

Jenna nodded and sat beside me on the other side of the bed.

"Essie is going to need someone to play with." Meredith cooed at her niece and added in a baby voice, "Yes, you will, won't you? Maybe a brother or sister."

I felt the blood drain from my face.

Joanie just laughed.

Jenna and I locked eyes as I said, "Lord help me..."

Because you never know what could happen when you kiss a girl.

~ H