I Know What I'm Doing Ch. 04

"You invited me, remember? Or have you changed your mind again?" He straightened and slowly approached me, "You know how much I hate it when you blow hot and cold, angel."

I couldn't help instinctively backing up two steps, my heels crunching on broken glass. I nodded nervously, "Of course I'm happy you're here; you just surprised me, that's all. I, uh... I didn't hear the door."

He stopped in front of me. For some reason I was amazed to note that he was the same height as me. Why had I always thought of him as being much bigger?

He was still smiling, "I decided to drop in unexpectedly, to make sure you weren't playing one of your little games."

"No, never... I wouldn't do that, not to you."

He cocked a mocking eyebrow, "But you do understand my concern, don't you? You've been up to some very naughty tricks lately, my pet; I had to make sure that you weren't trying to hurt me again."

I managed a nod while my brain screamed in pure panic.

Mark opened his arms, "Well? We're finally together again. Don't you have a warmer welcome for me?"

I dropped my gaze and went into his embrace. I tuned out the nausea that rose as he stroked my back. He still smelled the same; I recalled sitting in the hospital a year ago, blood running down into my eye, and trembling because I could still smell him on me.

I needed to get help, before he made me relive that night and worse.

"As you can see, you've caught me in the middle of getting our special dinner ready. I need to finish preparing the food," I mumbled past his shoulder. "I wasn't expecting you this early so I hope you don't mind waiting. Why don't you relax in the lounge and I'll pour us some drinks?"

I pulled back, trying to remember which counter I'd left my phone on. I just needed a minute alone in the kitchen – that would be more than enough time to call the police.

Mark stopped me, "Nah, I don't feel like putting up my feet while you work alone. I'll stay in here and watch you. I just want to be close to you; we have so much time to make up for, so much love to catch up on."

I swallowed, hoping my lips had curled all the way into a smile, "Oh, but I was planning on thoroughly pampering you. Please, make yourself at home; and I'll fetch you something to nibble on; and maybe something to drink. What would you like?"

"You," he pulled me back into his arms. "To nibble and drink."

I saw the kiss coming and knew I had to do it. I told myself to close my eyes and block out that it was Mark, but at the last second my head turned and his lips landed on my neck. When he lifted his dark gaze, something familiarly frightening was swirling within. It was like staring into midnight.

"You're nervous, angel."

A laugh slipped out at that understatement. I did my best to make it sound casual, "I wouldn't say nervous, just excited th-that my year is starting so amazingly."

"Great. Let's get to it then. What were you making?"

I quickly scanned the kitchen as I turned to the counter I'd been working on. My phone was on the table in the breakfast nook. I turned away from it and headed to the vegetables and other light foods I'd lined up for an appetiser platter. I'd had no dinner planned as I'd figured the police would take Mark away before we ever got to it. I needed a plan now.

"Shouldn't you take care of this mess first?" Mark indicated the glass all over the floor.

"Yes, of course," I found a broom. "Maybe you should step out for a sec, though, so I can clear this up before you step in any of it."

His cold eyes narrowed for a long time. "Sure."

I moved as soon as the door swung shut. I snatched up my phone, flicking a desperate glance over my shoulder. No Mark. Scrolling for the police department number was not an option – I speed-dialed 2 instead and cursed quietly when it took an eternity to connect.

"Man, what a view!" Mark called, probably from the large windows that looked out over the back garden.

I fumbled and almost dropped the damned phone. When the ringing started at the other end, I muted the volume and switched to speaker phone.

"Do you want to have our drinks out there so we can watch the sun set?" I called back.

"Nah..."

Shit, he was coming back. I dropped my phone next to the microwave where he wouldn't see it and kept my back to the doorway so I could take a moment to collect myself.

I heard his shoes grind on the glass that I still hadn't swept up. "I'm in the mood for the type of party that is best kept indoors."

I turned to find him watching me, clearly considering using the gun he was pointing at me.

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

"We need to get onto De Waal Drive; so take the next-"

"I know how to get to Rosebank," I concentrated on not breaking the speed limit as we headed toward the Devil's Peak freeway. "You snore, by the way. Really loudly."

Sam snorted, "I do not-" He blinked at me, "How loud?"

I laughed but his phone rang before I could respond. I saw his eyes light up when he checked the screen; that could only be the one person we'd been trying to reach since leaving Plett.

"About damn time he called me back," Sam flipped his phone open and put it to his ear, "You are so lucky I'm- Hello? Hello? Sugar, is that you?"

I glanced Sam's way as many times as I dared without driving us off the mountainside. His expression was one of worry. Ethan must be trying to talk him out of finding him.

I couldn't stand it any longer, "What's going on? What's he saying?"

Sam's jaw had dropped and his face was pale. He pushed a button and the speaker clicked on. I heard a voice I didn't recognise and it wasn't sounding all too friendly.

Before my confusion could take hold however, Ethan's voice came across a lot less muffled. I was so happy to hear him I almost missed what he said, "Mark, please... I do want to work things out, I really do. But you need to put the gun down first. Please, I-"

My blood ran cold. The other voice barked again, still muffled but obviously upset. Reynolds? Reynolds had Ethan?

I tossed my phone at Sam, finally letting my foot sink down on the accelerator the way I'd been itching to do since this morning.

"Anton Pretorius, call him now!" I ordered as I made a sharp left, "Give him the address and tell him about Reynolds. He'll contact the closest police station."

The light ahead turned orange so I sped up again. Not much farther now; that fucker had better pray I get to him before he did anything to Ethan.

It was a threat as well as my most desperate prayer and I hissed it from between clenched teeth.

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

"Say it!"

I knew I was being stupid but I still couldn't bring myself to say what he wanted to hear.

So I told as much of the truth as I could, "I don't have anyone, Mark; I swear, there's no one else."

He grabbed me by my shirt, "No one but me?"

The smell of his sweat was sharp and unexpected. It scared me as much as the look in his eyes because it proved his anxious instability. Everything I said to him made him more restless and that was the one thing I'd been trying to avoid.

"Only you."

His gun pressed into my stomach and, for a second, I thought of my mother.

He suddenly turned and pushed me through the kitchen door, in the direction of the lounge, the dining room and bedrooms beyond, "We have some celebrating to do, angel. You still remember what I like don't you?"

I sure did remember. I remembered that the only reason he called me that was because he loved the irony of the depraved things he made me do at the same time. I remembered cutting my hair because I'd gotten tired of having him pull me by it like I was some animal. I remembered hating the bed we'd bought together.

I couldn't let him take me back there.

In the dining area I pulled away from him and managed to put the table between us. He lifted his gun but didn't shoot – because we both knew I was trapped. I had a wall behind me; he had the only escape route behind him.

"When are you going to learn?" Frustration made him wave the gun, "I am all you have. I was there when no one else would even LOOK at you! You love me!"

I nodded because his yelling had started scaring me. His face was flushed and I was worried about him getting any more frantic than he already was.

"You haven't actually said it yet," he accused.

"Wh- Said what?"

"That you love me. If you've wanted me back for so fucking long, why wasn't that the first thing out your mouth?"

I froze. I had to say it. My life depended on keeping him happy until I could find a way to get away from him, but the words refused to come. Aiden's green eyes flashed before me and I knew I was lost – there was no way I could say those words to Mark or anyone else.

Mark must've seen something in my eyes, "You slut. You cheap, fucking-"

He aimed straight at my heart and I lifted my arms to shield myself, "NO!!!"

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

Sam was paler than I'd ever seen him. I didn't want to know what I looked like.

"Captain Pretorius said two units were in the area and should be there by the time we get there."

Sam had originally had the phone on speaker but my shouting had only confused Anton. So he'd handled everything himself.

We were on a tree lined street. Sam pointed to the right and I had to wrench the wheel as hard as I could to make the turn in time. I could hear sirens somewhere but couldn't be sure if those were the units from the Rosebank police station or other officers drawn in by our speeding.

Sam pointed at a neat, single-storey house near the end of a cul-de-sac. All was quiet but knowing I was this close to Ethan and that he was in trouble, made me edgy. Sam's line was still connected, but we could no longer hear them talking. The silence was terrible.

Sam was checking the street, "They're not here yet. Where the hell- Aiden, no!"

I was out of the car before he could stop me. The sirens were louder but the police cars hadn't reached this street yet. I could not just sit there, hoping they'd make it in time. I vaulted the low fence, trying to keep away from areas of the garden that might be visible from indoors.

I made it to the house and pressed myself against the front wall. No lights had been turned on even though the sun was just about gone, so I had no way of knowing which part of the house Ethan was in. I was considering circling around to the back when I heard him and his cry propelled me.

The front door was locked. I rammed my body against it with only one thought in mind.

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

Something hit the front door from outside.

Mark and I swung around simultaneously, equally shocked that we were no longer alone. Whatever – or whoever – it was, the door was hit hard enough to make it vibrate but it did not give. The police! Sam had come through after all.

The second collision produced a large crack. That's when Mark panicked.

He turned from the door and aimed back at me, "You! Get the hell over here!!"

I only had the dining table between us for protection but I wasn't done resisting. I pushed the large table over and hit the floor. Mark swore again, looking for me but the third crash rang out right then and I could hear the door give in. I saw Mark turn back towards the door.

"Ethan!"

Aiden?! No, no, no n-!!

Mark fired two shots as Aiden large frame hit him.

"NOOO!!!" I was scrambling to my feet, barely aware of the shouting and thudding boots of the policemen storming in.

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

Gramps was right.

For as long as there was anything worth fighting for, every spark of energy should be dedicated to it. My dreams, my beliefs, my passions... those were shaped by no one but me – and deserved that I celebrate and protect them. My love... my Ethan. As I lost track of my breath, I could think of no single thing on earth more worthy of my dedication. I might have taken a long time to commit, but in the end I gave him everything I had, everything. And it felt good.

A point came when my eyelids stopped fluttering, they simply became too heavy to lift; but that was fine. In my mind I saw Ethan stretching in the sun – skin glistening, his hair lifting in the breeze – and I let myself take him in.

I'd gotten there in time to fight for the one thing worth my life. More than who I'd been or who I'd become; more than what anyone outside saw or thought of me; and more than the darkness slipping in to envelope my contentment... that was all that mattered.

I'd fought for my love.

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

~Ethan~

"Someone called to see how you were; I couldn't work out if his name was Justin or Jordan."

It was after two in the afternoon and I'd only just showered. I was sitting at the table in Sam's kitchen with a bowl of cereal in front of me. Sam was feigning disinterest but I knew he was watching every spoonful I ate. I'd had a hard time building up an appetite in the last six weeks.

The best part of this whole mess had been not having to deal with Mark.

Anton had spent a lot of time on the phone with me once Mark was taken into custody, talking me through what to expect in terms of the charges and testifying against him in court. We never got that far, though. A fortnight after Mark's arrest, a young man came forward to press charges of his own. Apparently Mark had turned on his new boyfriend once he thought he'd be getting me back in his life. He'd snapped completely. Twenty-year-old Ben Westham had been hospitalised for more than a week, receiving treatment for grievous beatings and several stab wounds. So, the good news was that Mark pleaded guilty as soon as he'd heard of Ben's involvement in the case. The other good news was that his cooperation had done little to make a dent in his sentencing; he was facing many years behind bars thanks to the list of charges against him.

The bad news... I couldn't face that yet. I let go of my spoon and it clattered to the table. Sam was still doing a poor job of pretending he wasn't keeping an eye on me.

I pushed my half-eaten bowl away, "It's Justin and Jordan. They're actually two someones who happen to sound like one nut."

"Oh, okay. I told them you weren't up to chatting but would call back soon."

I stood up, "Can we go?"

Sam was careful to control his tone, "You're not done eating."

"For crying out loud, Samuel, I've done every damn thing you asked!" I was embarrassed to feel my eyes burning. "I tried to get some sleep; I took a shower; I ate as much as I could stomach... What more-?"

"You're right, I'm sorry," he swept the bowl away. "I'm worried about you, that's all."

I rubbed the moisture from my eyes, "I know."

"You'll burn out soon if you keep this up. And the guilt you've been carrying will only hurt you that much more." He touched my shoulder, "Punishing yourself won't change what happened."

I shook his hand off, "I know, alright? Now can we go?"

Sam drove.

Technically speaking, the hospital's visiting hours wouldn't be starting for another hour, but the nurses knew me by now. After seeing me daily for a month and a half, they'd become very gracious about turning a blind eye while I slipped past at odd times. I trudged through blue and white corridors with my hands deep in my pockets.

I'd come to hate these corridors. They led to beeping machines and rooms with no comfort. They led to sleepless nights. Worst of all, they led to doctors in pristine coats who spoke gutting words. Words like 'dislocated shoulder... fractured ribs... gunshot wounds... excessive blood loss... coma'.

Coma.

I'd collapsed against these very walls the first night we'd arrived here. That was the night their neutral whiteness had highlighted my piercing anguish at having a torn and broken man taken from me – and being left with nothing but his blood soaking into my clothes.

I blinked the memory away.

The fourth floor waiting area was quiet, meaning Aiden's family hadn't arrived yet. I was relieved. They'd been incredibly supportive since the day of Mark's meltdown and arrest, but I still had a hard time facing them. The more Greg treated me like the son my own father detested, the guiltier I felt for the trouble I'd caused. I'd brought Mark into Aiden's life and knew I'd never forgive myself for that.

At Aiden's door, I paused to shake the stiffness out of my shoulders, determined not to carry my guilt and gloom to his bedside. My mind flashed back to our very first kiss and when the warmth of that day soothed me, I opened the door and walked into his room.

Aiden was awake and smiling at me.

I stared stupidly, "Oh... my..."

"Please don't pass out, baby. I won't be able to catch you if you do."

For nearly six weeks the doctors had had no answers for me. The first bullet had grazed his temple, causing no real damage. It was the second shot that had been more distressing. It had passed through his chest when he tackled Mark, fortunately passing above his heart and just below the left subclavian vein. But the bullet had torn a large hole on its exit – and that was after he'd dislocated his shoulder and cracked six ribs on his right side when he'd obliterated a solid oak door trying to get to me.

"They said they didn't know when you'd wake up," I whispered. I didn't tell him that they'd said 'if' not 'when'.

He lifted his left hand, "I'd really like to touch you."

I rushed to him. The upper portion of the bed had been elevated to prop him up. I sat beside him and wrapped my arms around him. He groaned when I touched him and I stiffened, thinking I'd hurt him. When he immediately tightened his good arm around me I recognised his contentment. I'd missed his embrace too; he was so warm.

"This is perfect," his chest rumbled when he spoke. "I have so much to share with you, love. About Carolynn and-"

"Oh, thank heavens!" Aiden's mother hurried in, followed by the rest of the pack, minus his grandparents.

The kids were so excited that Chris had to block their way to Aiden's bed until they managed to calm themselves somewhat. Gwen and Michaela hugged us both and wouldn't let go for a long time. This time I let myself enjoy the Montgomery group hug.

Melanie managed to slip past her father, "Merry Christmas!"

She clambered up onto the bed near Aiden's feet, wielding two brightly wrapped packages.

"Christmas in February?" I asked. "Surely you've celebrated already? Like, on Christmas day perhaps?"

Aiden grinned, "Not entirely. The kids refused to give me my present in Plett because – according to them – I wasn't Christmassy enough."

"He was so sad and grumpy, Ethan," Melanie complained, "so we decided we'd wait till you came back to make him happy again."

I gaped at her.

I'd made more friends than I'd ever had before during my weeks in Plett. Now Melanie's innocent words made me feel like I was on the brink of being gifted with a whole new family as well. But there were so many issues to sort out, I was afraid of letting myself hope it could be true.

"Open it, uncle Aiden," Kyle ordered.

Melanie handed him the red package and kissed his cheek. He tore it open in moments, grinning at the children's enthusiasm. The wrapping paper fell away to reveal a neatly folded t-shirt. Aiden shook it open and held it up for me to see. Wolverine.

I laughed, "This explains so much."

"We got you a present too," said Kyle. "Here you go, Ethan."

I took the package in surprise. Melanie kissed my cheek then nudged me to get me to start tearing through the green wrapping. I did so carefully. Inside was another t-shirt, a white one. I shook it open, wondering which superhero the kids had picked for me. Aiden's laugh exploded at the picture on front.

I cocked my head as I studied it, "I love it."

"Really?" Melanie bounced for joy, "'Cause I picked it. Kyle wanted us to buy a different one but Mommy said I could decide on yours since he'd already chosen our uncle's."