I Know You

"I know you." I whispered through the cloudy mist of cigarette smoke in the darkened club. I didn't think he would hear me over the deafening music but it was obvious that he did and he just grinned at me as if he expected me to say that.

He was so beautiful with brilliant green eyes and short midnight hair.

I'd dreamed of him before and that made no sense to me at all.

You see I'm on a downward spiral.

I'm a thirty year old woman, my husband left me for a twenty year old blond girl and I lost my baby.

I never thought that I was a depressed person but I am self destructive.

I love cocaine.

Sometimes when I'm high and floating above the world I wake up and I'm next to some man I don't know.

This has been going on for the past year.

I doubt that I will live through this.

I can't say that I'm beautiful, I never thought that I was. I'm average, brown hair, brown eyes, I'm tall and lean. When I want to I can make myself look good with clothes and make up but I rarely want to.

So here I am sitting in this club listening to the music knowing that soon I'll be out there on the dance floor and then who knows where when I see him come up to the bar and look right at me for a second.

I felt like he knew me but I knew that I recognized him. When I was young I would dream of a man on a beach and I would see him with his long black hair floating on the wind. His back was always facing me and he was walking on the ocean. I always thought that he was my guardian angel. I would wake up with the taste of the ocean on my lips and a sense of sadness.

I would think that is the man I want to marry.

That is the man I love.

But then I met my ex-husband and we had a good life together until I lost our baby and something between us just broke and he found his happiness with another woman.

I'm still looking for mine.

It's funny you know? I was always the rock, the problem solver, if you needed help or advice I was the smart one. Now look at me.

How far we fall.

There's no one watching over me now, no one to catch me as I'm falling.

Fuck it.

I stubbed out the cigarette that I had been casually smoking and stood up on steady legs, I wasn't drunk yet, may as well go home to my ratty apartment. I laughed at the thought of sleeping alone tonight.

As I made my way out the door I felt a strong clasp on my wrist. I looked down without any real surprise at the large hand on me before I looked up at the man who owned that hand.

"You." I murmured looking into the dark green eyes of my dreams. I laughed softly at the unrealness of the situation.

His clasp is hot and it burns up my arm straight to my heart. What can I do? I don't really want to pull away, so I wait.

He stands up and pulls me into his body and I literally melt into him, he's my dream after all, what do I have to fear from him?

He's tall and warm and solid muscle I wonder at the fact that he doesn't have all the women in this tiny bar all over him. Why the hell should he be bothering with me when he could have any bar bunny he wanted?

I smell the ocean as I lean closer into him I can feel his heartbeat beneath the thin white cotton of his T-shirt, his heart beats in the same rhythm as mine and I know.

I know it's him.

I reach my other arm up and wrap it about his neck pulling him closer to me, I wonder for a moment if he will resist but when he doesn't, when he falls into my arms bending down to me I greedily kiss his sculpted lips and lose myself in his taste.

I press up closer to him stroking myself against him unashamedly, like a cat, begging for his touch with my throaty moan. His other arm wraps about my waist pressing me to his solid strength. I feel this fire burning in my chest and in my cunt, for the first time in my life I want.

When he pulls away from me I moan softly not ready to give him up, to give up this unbelievable dream. His eyes pierce me and I see him bring the hand that he never let go of up to his mouth and he kisses the back of my hand. I close my eyes at the electric thrill that passes through me.

"Come."

His voice is soft, sexy and compelling. I'd follow him anywhere.

He wraps his arm over my shoulders pulling me closer into his warmth and I realize that for the first time in my life I feel safe, sheltered. I know nothing can hurt me now that I'm with him.

He leaves the bar with me.

The cold autumn wind hits my face and I quickly look back up at him thinking that with this harsh cold the reality of my life would come back to me and I'd just be standing out here in the cold, drunk again.

But he's there and he feels real.

I open my mouth to speak but he presses his fingers to my lips and I'm lost in his eyes, those green eyes see right through me into my soul just like in my dreams and I surrender fully and completely.

"Trust me."

How could I not?

He takes his fingertips and slides them slowly down my lips to my chin, down my throat which I arch back to feel his touch more fully, he stops at my heart.

He turns away from me then and I feel bereft and alone. "Come."

And I follow.

I don't have a sense of where we are going but before I know it we are inside my apartment and I still the keys in my pocket but somehow none of this matters, the only thing I want is more of him.

I should be embarrassed by the dingy little apartment with its yellow walls and the faint smell of mold that never fades no matter how much I clean but he doesn't seem to care. We stand together in the middle of the living area and I wrap arms around him burying my face in his chest and this overwhelming feeling comes over me and I want to cry right there in his arms. Just sob over what I lost and what I'll never have with this man before me.

He presses me to him tightly before he releases me and steps away.

"Wait," I say thinking he will leave me. I couldn't bear that.

He cocks his head to the side and gives me this sexy smile that slowly spreads over his face. He takes a step backward in the direction of my bedroom and I smile softly in return not daring to hope that he knows what I want and will give it to me.

He arches one black brow and I step forward one hand sweeping my long dark hair over to the side as my other hand reaches to undo the zipper on my tight black dress. I see his eyes turn to a smoldering emerald as he steps backward further into the bedroom. I let my dress fall to my feet stepping over and out of it still in my black high heels; his eyes watch with desire blazing in them as I let my hair fall back in its loose waves to dance about my hips.

I pursue him the next few steps into my bedroom and when his feet hit the edge of my bed I walk up to him, put my hand on his chest and gently ease him back to where he's sitting on my bed. I've never felt so wanton, so free. I'd never wanted any man before the way I want this god in front of me.

I straddle his hips bending my head down to meet his waiting lips. His kiss is so hot and passionate I can feel his desire for me. His hot hands come up touching my shoulder blades stroking down leaving a trail of fire as his hands travel down to my hips. I moan into his mouth as I feel his tongue enter my mouth, a part of me can't believe what is happening and then all brain function shuts down and all I can do is feel.

I pull away running my fingertips down his perfect face biting my lower lip so hard I taste the copper bite of blood, lower I trail my hands down his muscled chest and rippled abs to the edge of his T-shirt. With his eyes locked on mine he smiles softly again and lifts up his arms in invitation.

With a quick sweep I pull his shirt over his head and bare his sexy body with his rippling tan skin exposed to my hungry hands.

"You are beautiful." I whisper in awe. "Just like my dreams."

The look that passes over his face lasts just an instant but I catch it, he looks sad and then resigned as if he has to do something that he'd rather not.

I sit farther back onto his thighs and caress the side of his face, his green eyes look into mine so achingly hungry. "Do you want to stop? I understand..." I start to back off of him feeling tears well up in my eyes as the enormity of his rejection hits me. Of course, this was a huge misunderstanding, somehow I fucked up, again.

"No." He wraps me in his arms pulling me close to him again, kissing my cheek tasting the salt of my tears. And suddenly everything pours out of me in a torrent that I can't stop.

"I'm sorry. I should have waited...I didn't believe you existed except for in my dreams and...I'm not beautiful enough for you. I'm too fucked up now, can you understand? In the end all I ever wanted was my dream...you...I love you...deep inside, it's the only thing left that I know is true."

He doesn't say a word only continues to look at me with sadness as he pulls me closer, he turns then with me on his lap laying me down on my bed, he settles on top of me with a sigh, his hand comes up to stroke the hair back from my face. He traces a finger down the bridge of my nose to my lips which he caresses.

"You are all I ever wanted."

He bends down to kiss me and the passion flares between us again and I'm lost in the flames. All I want is to be closer, deeper inside of this beautiful man, I want to lose myself in my dream.

I kiss him back my hands going to the button of his jeans opening his fly, pulling the zipper down, he stops for a moment and looks down then back up at me. He gets off me to stand at the foot of my bed, I prop myself up on my elbows to watch him as he takes off his jeans letting them fall to the floor.

"You dirty boy." I tease and watch as an impish smile crosses his face. He has no underwear on.

His cock is large, thick and pulsing already hard and ready to go.

I sit up then and take his cock in my hands feeling the silk of his skin and the hardness beneath. I look up at him to see him looking down at me as if he's waiting to see what I would do. I kiss the hard shaft savoring the shudder that passes through his body, feeling drunk on the power that I have to excite him. I put his cock in my mouth.

I taste the sweet muskiness of his skin and he throws his elegant head back with a low moan. Wrapping my hand about his thick shaft I begin to work his cock up and down bobbing my head, twirling my tongue over his sensitive head. He tastes so good, I never sucked my ex-husband's dick, I always felt sick when I tried and honestly I found it a little degrading.

But with my angel there was no shame, only the pleasure of feeling his cock in my mouth and hearing his sweet moans in my ears as I brought him pleasure. I'd suck his cock for eternity if he wanted me to.

I could feel the fire burning in my belly and the wetness spilling from my cunt down my inner thighs. After awhile he pulls away from me and pushes me back onto the bed where he comes up between my thighs pulling my legs apart as he bends his head to my cunt.

"Oh shit," I breathe.

His hot wet mouth fastens onto my cunt licking and gently biting my cunt before he finds my clit and sucks. I arch my back as a wave of pleasure shoots up my body, he feels it and continues his ministrations. I move my hips and he pulls away to bite the tender flesh of my inner thigh I yelp looking down at him watching his slight smile as he goes back to my cunt, his green eyes glittering.

He then licks me with bold hot swipes of his tongue before attacking my clit again sucking and licking my flesh until I feel shudders pass over my body and he still pushes me, inserting a finger deep inside my pussy that aches for him until I cum screaming my pleasure.

He comes up then over my body, between my legs and I wrap my arms around his powerful body pulling him closer to me desperate to feel more of him on me, near me, inside me. He bends his head and I meet him halfway for a deep kiss tasting myself on his lips.

He reaches up running his palms up over my arms that I had wrapped about his neck interlacing his fingers with mine, removing my arms from him. He leans closer to me his eyes seem to glow in the half darkness of the room as he comes closer to me spreading my arms out to the sides of the bed, I begin to shiver as waves of heat and sudden cold run over me. He then moves his hands from mine and wraps my fingers about the edges of the mattress making sure I hold on before he drags his hands back up my arms, he caresses my breasts for a moment before he reaches back putting his hands to the bend of my knees. As he leans forward then to come over me he moves my legs up so that I could wrap them about his lean hips.

He looks deep into my eyes placing his hands on either side of my head.

"Do you give yourself to me?" He whispers.

I could feel the hot pulsing head of his cock just touching my cunt and I'm frantic to feel him inside me, to have him be a part of me.

"Yes, anything you want, everything you want. I'm yours."

He brings his lips to mine and I'm drowning in the voluptuous sensation of his velvet mouth. With one deliberate move of his hips he pushes deeply inside me and I scream at the overwhelming feeling. He is perfection, absolute perfection. It feels so right to have him deep inside me, his cock stretching me and filling me with a burning ecstasy.

I was meant to fuck him.

He was made to fuck me.

He pulls out so slowly, stroking the walls of my cunt driving me mad to feel him once again, he smiles down at me as he pushes back in and I moan again.

He takes one hand away from the side of my head grasping my chin gently in his fingers. My eyes meet his and I feel burned, scorched through to my soul. He sees right through me. "Don't let go." Then he pushes my face to the side exposing the column of my throat and I feel him bite the tender flesh before he soothes it with a kiss.

He sits up then gripping my hips in his hands and he begins to thrust faster, my eyes meet his and there is no doubt, his verdant eyes are glowing. I can't stop the moans of pleasure that break from my lips as he moves even faster and harder, he's fucking me how I had always wanted, hard, fast and deep.

I'm cumming again my cunt contracting fiercely over his thick cock and without missing a beat he leans forward drilling me even harder as his hand goes to my throat and squeezes. The edges of my vision turn black but still I trust him completely as I give myself over to him. The sudden feel of his hot hand on my throat and the temporary loss of oxygen catapult me into another orgasm even stronger than the last. He releases me with a laugh leaving me gasping for air.

"Holy fuck."

I release the sides of the mattress wrapping my arms about him pulling him down to my lips wanting to taste him again. He fucks me right through the kiss.

When we come up for air I run my hands down the silk of his skin feeling the muscles of his chiseled chest and abs he places his hands on my hips and I feel the heat and strength of his clasp shiver up my spine. In one fluid move he pulls out of me and I whimper at the loss a small smile crosses his lips as he starts to move my hips to the side forcing me to turn over onto my stomach. I don't even think to question him as he pulls my hips up so that I'm on my hands and knees. He takes one hand off me and I begin to tremble as he traces one finger down the trench in my back to the base of my spine.

He replaces his hand back on my hip and I scream as he thrusts back inside me. The pleasure is unbearable, it has never felt this way before, ever. Only with him. My dream lover.

He picks up an easy pace that leaves me begging him to fuck me, I can't take the fire that he builds inside me.

"Please," I don't even know what I'm asking for, for him to end this or for him to never stop.

I feel him bend over me then wrapping one hand about my throat pulling me up so that I'm on my knees, my back to his chest.

His cock rubs against that spot in my cunt and it's the final spark that sends me over the edge.

With my body on fire and my cunt squeezing his cock I feel his hot breath on my neck, his lips against my ear.

"Don't you ever forget; this is love."

His beautiful voice is the last thing I hear.

With incredible strength he snaps my neck and my vision goes black.

"Wakey wakey, eggs and bacy." I groan as I feel someone shaking my shoulders. "Come on! You said you would go, no sleeping on me now."

I groan again feeling my stiff neck and numb arms begin to tingle as I blink my eyes.

"What?"

Where am I? I begin to sit up feeling paper sticking to my cheek as I sit up I swipe at my face feeling drool. I blink again, it can't be.

"Hello!"

I turn to look at the face in front of me. "Jilly?"

Jill Henry was my college roommate back in my freshman and sophmore years, she was a sweet girl who loved the boys. I hadn't seen her since we graduated but now her bright blue eyes were peering down at me.

"Duh, who else? Now get your shit together we're going to that frat party I told you about yesterday."

"Where are we?" I whisper.

"Oh jesus, are you serious?" She squints down at me her cute freckled nose scruching up. "Are you high?"

"Jilly!" I gasp but in the back of my mind I wondered if she was right, the last thing I remembered was my dream man fucking the shit out of me and then everything goes black.

"Ok, ok, the year is 2002 and we are in dorm room A-5, you Aris, stated to me Jilly, that you would come to this party with me. Is that good enough for you?"

"Sure." I croak, my heart is pounding so hard that I feel faint. This can't be possible. As I sit up I realize that this is our old dorm room and I'm sitting on my old wooden desk apparently asleep drooling on my econ textbook.

"Besides," I hear Jilly's voice as she walks to the full length mirror that she had placed up on the back of our dorm room door. "That guy Chris Stevens or was it Wallace? Whatever, the one you said was looking at you in your econ class, he's going to be there, don't you want to come now?" Jilly was checking her teeth in the mirror looking for traces of lipstick now doubt as she loved to wear bright red.

I felt stunned, that name, Chris Wallace, he's my ex-husband. But how could he be my ex-husband if it's 2002? We didn't get married until 2007.

I remember pain and loss, getting drunk and high, green eyes and the fuck of my life, it's all in one confusing black cloud that is pressing on me. I remember but then I don't, yet I know Chris Wallace and I get together and it's not for the best.

"A party?"

"Oh my god! You are high!" Jilly comes over to me and shakes me again my head lolls back and forth. My brain feels like its spinning.

"I can't go." I remember that Chris and I met at a frat party and that was the beginning of our relationship, in fact he calls me the next morning and we go out for dinner that night.

For some reason I know that I can't meet Chris. I can't.

"No." Jilly moans.

"Just go without me, I'm a mess anyways. I don't feel good." I stand up on shaky legs and move to my crackerbox room where I collapse on the bed.

"Are you ok?" Jilly asks softly stepping into the doorway.

"I'm good, just dizzy." I feel like I can't catch my breath, I close my eyes breathing through my nose. Is this a dream? "Just go." I say sharply.

I hear Jilly take a step back. "If you're ok...I'll just leave you alone then, I'll check on you when I get back." I hear her shut my door and then I hear her locking our front door.

"What the hell is going on?" I moan aloud.

In seconds I'm asleep.

Suddenly I'm awake and I bolt up in the bed scared by the darkness that surrounds me I blink my eyes several times and I see a faint crack of light come from under a door. I throw my legs over the side of the bed I'm on and as I stand up I realize the doorknob is just inches from my hand. I open the door and see the study area of my dorm room again.