I Love You More

I told them how I was the first employee in the company, working part time through high school and college. Then I went into my office to call Tom.

I came back out 10 minutes before closing time. "Do you have plans for Friday evening after work?"

"No?"

"Well you do now!"

Tom only came into town once a month; and he had just been there. Friday he strolled in about 15 minutes before closing. Now the ladies were really puzzled.

We all drove our own cars to the restaurant. "Order anything you want" Tom said. The ladies ordered a middle priced chicken dish. Tom said he like that choice and ordered the same, so I ordered something similar.

Dinner was over when Tom pulled a large envelope from his briefcase. "I have in this envelope a simple way for you to start college. We can front the money to you for the first semester. You will work for us and we will take 2 percent of your net pay from each paycheck to pay back the loan. By doing this you will still be able to save for the next term. We have done this for other employees and it has worked well. You will need to sign a contract to work for us as long as you owe money. It is as simple as that." The ladies were waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"There is only one other stipulation to the contract." He paused for effect. "In the event that you complete the courses with anything greater than a B average you will only payback 20 percent of the loan. We will continue to cover your courses at the same rate as long as you keep up the grades to that average."

The ladies were speechless.

"It is all here in the contract. If you want a lawyer to review it, go to one of your choosing and we will pay the entire bill. There is an invoice enclosed for them to submit. We offer this because we want our employees to be happy working for us. After you finish school we will welcome you to stay if you wish. Or if you choose to move on that is OK too. One person, a few years ago, asked if there were any SPECIAL FAVORS required from anyone. He pointed to the last paragraph and showed them where it read 'At no time will any sexual acts or any other unnecessary or degrading deeds of any kind be expected, if anyone demands such favors the employee is expected to decline the demand and notify the personnel department.' I hope this covers any concerns."

Stunned does not even begin to cover the reaction to the offer.

I pulled an almost exact copy of their document from my pocket. "This is a copy of the last contract I made with Tom; you can take it with you for the lawyer to compare. You will find they are virtually the same. I believe since this contract, there were some typos found and corrected. If you need time off to study for an exam or complete a project we will try to accommodate you."

Then Tom spoke directly to Linda "I am prepared to offer the exact same contract to you if you would like to attend after work or weekends." He pulled out another envelope and put it in Linda's hand.

As we got set to leave the restaurant I said "I know this is a shock to you, if you don't think you will be OK to drive we will have your car towed home and put you in a taxi of you're choosing."

The next week Mammy died. The day before her funeral Pappy died too. The service for Mammy was delayed so they could be together for their final ride. Pappy had wanted to help drive her back to the farm for burial. A neighbor had a simple buckboard and 2 matching horses, after the service at the church they took their final ride together. They were buried beside Pappy's mother and father. My father was about 10 feet away.

Most of the dogs were long gone. The only one left was a young pup from Rhoda's last litter. I guess she was about 3. When she was little, a spooked horse trampled her damaging one leg. Other than a limp that looked more like a waddle she was in good health. Pappy was never one to put down a good dog, as far as he was concerned she was a good dog. Years before I had named her Opus after a penguin in a new comic strip. She was black and white and waddled. Mom still had Snowball and didn't care to take in another so she stayed with me. That is how Opus came to live with Bill D Katt. We became inseparable. Most days she came to work with me.

Things were good for a while; the shop was out performing our original one by about 2 percent. It was always close.

Then there was the day Tom called to tell me Mom had a heart attack. "Pack a bag and get your ass on the road, I'm heading the other way." I was gone within the hour. Linda had instructions to call Tom if there was a problem no one could fix. I got hugs from my 2 ladies and a tearful goodbye.

I left Opus with the ladies.

Tom had covered for me, at the new plant, when I was on vacation; as had Mary and John so things would be fine.

By the time I got to the hospital Mom was doing much better. I walked in to find her sleeping. On the bedside table there was a card and flowers. When I recognized the writing on the card and on the big envelope beside them I cried. I still missed that woman, even after all that time and everything I had been through.

The doctors assured me Mom would be fine, she was only medicated to give her a chance to heal. I went to the house and found Snowball locked in the bathroom. She went flying through the house looking for Mom. Finally she made a beeline to the back yard. She was soon back inside as close to me as she could get. We stayed like that the rest of the evening. Every so often I called for a report on how Mom was doing. It was always the same; resting comfortably. I had a room there like mom had a room to the south at the ranch. I finally fell into a deep sleep. I dreamed of Janice for the first time in years, I was surprised that I did not wake up angry in the morning. I was at peace with the situation.

The next morning I stopped by the shop on the way to the hospital. Mary and John were the first to spot me. I assured them Mom was going to be fine. I spent 30 minutes talking with Tom at the other facility. I filled him in on some recent changes to the production floor and asked him to relay to my crew that Mom was going to be fine eventually.

I was there waiting impatiently as visiting hours began. I made it to her room in record time, she was on the phone. I waited as she hung up and she said, or rather croaked like a frog "Hi." She tried to laugh but began to cough. The nurses came running from all directions. I stepped back into the hall out of the way. When they were sure she was in no danger they left one by one. I stepped back into the room. The last nurse was someone I recognized from years before in school. "Hi Bill, she is doing fine. Keep her from trying to laugh. She isn't ready for that yet."

"Thank you for being here with her. Are you the one who called Janice?"

The frightened look on her face answered the question for me. I gave her a quick hug and said "Thanks, she's all Janice has left."

I sat and talked with Mom about many things. One time I saw her eyes look at the door, I quickly turned to look. All I saw was a shadow, by the time I got to the door the person had disappeared. Mom didn't say who it was. At the end of my visit Mom asked me to take the envelope home and put it on the table beside her bed. I promised to return the next day.

I spoke to the doctor on my way out. Mom was on blood thinners for now. If they didn't do what they hoped there might be surgery in the future. When Mom returned home she needed to take it easy for the first month, gradually increasing her activities.

There would be some things she might never be allowed to do, depending on her recovery.

The next day I contacted Tom and told him it would be better if I was to return home.

"That is already under way. I have movers ready to pick up what you want Friday morning. Have a place ready to receive your things in the afternoon. I plan to return for the weekend and will bring Opus with me. Mary and John will be coming down in three weeks. They will start out in my rental. I have a professional cleaning service lined up to make everything ready."

I was amazed at the speed he was getting things done. "When Mom is better you can come back to say goodbye to your folks. They all speak highly of you and wish your mother well. The operation is continuing flawlessly, you have trained them well. Hold on someone has asked for a word with you."

"Bill, this is Linda. Thank you for all the assistance with college. Shannon had straight A's again this semester. She has decided to enter a nursing program next term. Opus is doing well, but you can tell she misses you. We all wish the best for your mother."

I could hear her choking back the tears as she handed the phone to Tom.

"She was too modest to tell you she had A's in both of her courses too." I heard a smack sound and Tom said "OW!"

Linda was saying in the background "You had to do that didn't you."

"I am so proud of both of you." could be heard in the background. "Time to get to work again" Tom said.

I heard giggling as he hung up the phone.

I went in as soon as visiting hours began. I told her I need to step out for a while early that afternoon. The phone rang soon after I arrived; she answered it and simply said "Yes" after the greeting. Then maybe later, that sounds good."

I smelled a plot being hatched. I left at the time I told her. I waited in the hall and heard her talking "He is out for about 3 hours. OK see you in a few."

I went down and sat in a dark corner of the lobby. Soon Janice went flying by and into the elevator. I gave her a 5 minute head start and went back up to the floor. I stopped outside the door and listened to their conversation.

I heard Mom say "He has changed in the last months; he willingly took your book home for me."

The nurse came by and I made a silence motion pointing into the room.

"I woke part way when he visited the first time and heard him say thank you to your friend the nurse. He mentioned I was all you have."

I went quickly around the corner into the room saying something about forgetting my glasses. I heard the nurse snicker in the hall.

Janice stood to leave the room "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be here to bother you."

I responded a little louder than necessary, "Why not?" I stood with my arm in the doorway so she could not get by.

"B-because of what I did to you?"

"You know you were forgiven?" I almost thundered at her.

She gulped and nodded to indicate she did.

"And there is still a problem?" I was a little quieter that time.

She started to nod YES but in the middle of her answer she changed it to NO. It was a bit awkward in the presentation. Her blush was bright red.

"We need to talk." I said.

"Would you like to drop by my, excuse me, our house this evening?"

"NO!" I replied almost violently.

She was shocked.

"There are too many bad memories there." I responded much more gently.

"... At Mom's?" she suggested.

"No, it has to be someplace neutral, a place where neither of us has been."

"There is a new place in the recently opened Hilton near the airport. I hear it is quiet and lovely."

"Is nine this evening good for you?" I asked.

"Yes, it is."

I turned and left as quickly as I arrived. As I entered the elevator the nurse got in with me. She was laughing. "She almost wet herself when you entered the room. Did you see the look on her face when you almost shouted 'Why not?' She was too confused to answer. I heard what she did to you, she deserved that today. I can see it in her eyes, she loves you still, and I think it is mutual."

I laughed at most of what she said but responded to the last statement "That is left to be seen."

I was seated in a booth at the very back when she arrived. The waitress asked if we were ready to order. "We will have sweetened ice tea; she does not want any lemon." I passed her a menu. "Order what you want."

"You remembered?"

"Why is that a shock to you?"

"After the way I treated you I thought you would forget. I am sorry for all I did to you."

"You were forgiven, you have apologized. Don't tell me you are sorry again. I need to ask one question first. WHY?"

"I have thought about that more than everything else over the years. I don't know for sure, I can only guess because I was vain, stupid and had no idea what I had in you."

"Do you remember our first fight?"

"It was over some little thing like not wanting to go to a restaurant you liked."

"Nope, long before that."

She was deep in thought for a while. "Oh my, the time I slapped you!"

I nodded "Remember the question I asked then?"

"Why didn't I talk to you?" she said meekly.

"We were married this time, why couldn't you talk to me? I didn't have any set schedule for children."

"You know about that?"

"I heard Mammy's part of the last conversation you two had in July after the divorce. No she did not lie to you; she could never lie, ever. I was standing above her on the steps out of sight. Do you have any idea how badly you ripped my heart out when I found out WHY? When she said she had to go it was because she saw me there."

Janice just sobbed. After she calmed down we continued.

"How many men have you been with since we separated, I have to know?"

"You are the only person to have me." She was almost defiant.

"How many dates have you been on?"

"I met Jimmy for lunch one time, you saw how that went. He wanted a dinner date. I told him it was lunch or nothing."

"If it had gone well, would you have gone out in the evening with him?

"There was no way. I could never trust him after that time in school. If I can't trust him there is no way to go any further than a lunch together. For some reason my head was screaming don't go in that place with him, I didn't listen. I was good at not listening back then, wasn't I?"

"I have 2 wonderful females in my life now. They have taught me a lot about unconditional love." I placed a photo on the table face down.

Janice picked up her purse and stopped to look at me with disgust. As she started to move I quietly said "You are doing it again."

"You just told me you are not single and in fact have 2 and you want me to listen?"

"YES." I responded almost in a whisper

"Are you stupid?"

"No. Sit down before you make a bigger fool of yourself than you have just done." I said that even softer.

She sat down in disgust. "This better be worth it mister."

I smiled. I tapped the back of the photo.

She turned it over ready to explode. "Is this a joke?" She almost choked on the words.

I shook my head to indicate "No."

"The day I found out WHY I met the black one. They are half sisters, the same mother and different fathers. They are from different litters too. The black one is Snowball. She taught me the most, her mother taught her how to love, how to cuddle for hours at a time, how to give of herself without any thought of getting back. She saved me when I found out why you divorced me." The other is Opus; she has a deformity that causes her to waddle when she moves. She taught me to be happy with what you have, no matter how limited you think you are. They both have the softest ears you ever felt."

The tears were running down her face again.

"They can teach you too. Tom is bringing Opus home this weekend, if you come over on Saturday you can see them together. They have never met before. Mom is coming home late on Friday."

"Please." she almost pleaded.

"Be there at noon then."

We talked until the place was almost set to close. I paid the bill and gave the waitress $100 for a tip; the bill was only $82. As we left I told the waitress "Thank you for your consideration; this was important to us. When we come back we would like to sit in your section again."

"Just ask for Janice."

I roared with laughter. We turned back to face her; I said "Janice, meet Janice. I think we will remember your name."

Mom came home late Friday afternoon. Snowball was unsure at first about how she should behave; she seemed to sense something was wrong with Mom. Mom made the kissing noise to her and patted the seat of Dad's big old recliner beside her. Snowball climbed gently up and lay beside her, not quite touching. As Mom rubbed her ears she edged closer and closer until there was no room between them. She laid her head on Mom's knee and sighed. They stayed like that for what seemed to be an eternity. All was right with their world.

Saturday Janice dropped by at noon. She met Snowball they became friends. Snowball still definitely preferred Mom.

About 12:30 there was a knock on the door, I opened it to see Linda then Shannon. Tom was standing to the side with Opus on her leash. Opus saw me and pushed her way through the crowd to me. Talk about pitiful noises.

"Everyone come in."

Snowball came right over to inspect the interloper who dared to intrude on her domain. I guess Opus smelled like the ranch, they became friends right away. Snowball was quick to show her who the boss was.

I introduced everyone to each other. When Linda and Shannon started to rave about what a great boss I was Mom smiled, Janice bristled for just a moment and Tom smirked. The dogs just ignored their people.

I saw something sparkle on Linda's finger. I looked over at Tom and he smiled. Janice soon saw the same thing I did and settled down a little more.

Linda told how she had been recently widowed and I gave her a chance. The job market was tight and no one was willing to hire someone who had been out of work for 17 years.

"By the end of her second week she was more than earning her keep." I said.

Soon Mom drifted off to sleep. Snowball was on her right, Opus was on her left. I have no idea how all 3 fit in that chair but they did. We all went into the kitchen so she would not be disturbed. I watched from the doorway. Linda's husband was a heart patient too, she knew some recipes that were tasty and Mom could eat. All 3 ladies worked on the meal together, like they had been doing it all their lives.

After supper Tom and my ladies left. Mom was soon tired again and went off to bed; followed by both dogs. As the evening went on both dogs took separate breaks to come down and eat, get a drink or go out in the yard. Janice and I continued to talk.

I told her "My biggest problem is that I don't know if I can trust you after what you did. It felt like you tore out my heart, cut it to ribbons and did a victory dance on the remains."

"I'm so ashamed at my actions. The thought of being pregnant terrifies me. I never had any thought that you would be so hurt. As soon as the gavel came down I realized how badly I had messed up. I wanted to undo the damage, but you would not talk to me. As badly as you were hurt I now understand why."

I told the story about her Christmas dress and the halo of hair in the bright sunlight.

She gasped, "I never realized you were taken with me for that long." A few tears flowed again.

"I could never tell you unless I was sure you felt the same. If you did not have the same feelings I would have been devastated. The 2 happiest day of my life were when you said yes and the day we were married. My childhood dreams all came true. The day we were divorced I was so crushed I didn't know if I would continue to live. When Tom sent me away I hated him. I was not going to return. I realize now that he saved me that day. He made me confront my despair. I can tell you now because the dogs have taught me so much about unconditional love. I know I can love you without anything in return."

"But I love you..." She cried "...I was just too stupid to realize it."

We slowly began to communicate better. She listened to my concerns and would talk to me about hers. Eventually our relationship became physical again; it started slowly, holding hands, light kisses, and finally we got into full blown lusty monkey sex. We never talked about children. She was on birth control. I saw her taking pills.