I Read A Lot Ch. 04

God, and I thought I had been nervous. I grabbed his hand and it was slick with his panicky sweat. I whispered, "Gabe, are we here to get tested? So we can have sex without condoms?" I figured it was time to talk straight and leave off any misunderstandings.

"Yeah." Gabe's eyes looked pleadingly at me when he met my gaze.

"Are you telling me that you want to be monogamous, that you aren't interested in sleeping with anyone else while we're together?" Just how much could I possibly hope for, right? I needed to understand what Gabe was offering, in terms of this relationship. This time, I figured that if I knew the ground rules going in, I knew what to expect, maybe I wouldn't be disappointed (crushed, humiliated and ashamed) when it ended.

His eyebrows pulled together but he still nodded. "More Tom. I want to be with you, but not just while we're together. I want to be with you from now on. No expiration dates, no maybe's, no halfways." He breathed out a huge breath. Gabe stared at me with trepidation in his eyes, waiting for. . . something.

Overwhelmed. I was completely inundated with emotion and at the same time immensely relieved. Gabe has Stepping closer to Gabe, I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his lips lightly. "Love you," I whispered as I ended the kiss and brushed my nose with his.

"Thanks for being the first to say it," Gabe whispered back. "I was too chickenshit."

"You're welcome," I replied and pulled back just far enough to look into his eyes. "Now if you don't say it back, I'll think I was an idiot, get really embarrassed and want to run and hide."

Gabe raised his hand and rubbed my fingertips along my jaw. "I so love you. At first I just thought you were the cutest guy I had ever seen. Then, when you asked me for that book, I knew I was a goner."

"Damn angel," I said. "You make me feel so good. I don't know if I deserve you, but I don't think I care anymore. You are the best thing in my life and I want you a part of it for as long as possible. And I think getting stuck with a needle is a small price to pay." And I grinned, trying to lighten the mood a little.

Gabe grinned back and we continued to hold hands as we made our way into the clinic. When we got closer, he started swinging his arm and bouncing like a little kid that has to go to the bathroom. I can't say that the clinic really lived up to the excitement that Gabe anticipated, but it was over quickly and we had matching band-aids to show for. In only one week, we would have our reports and even I started bouncing at that thought.

To any outside observer, it might have seemed as if two deaf mutes were having dinner together that night. We could hardly talk and we just sat there and smiled like dazed idiots most of the time. To me, I felt like a magical spell had been cast over us and I was just really enjoying the time we spent being in one another's company. I'm pretty sure there was food on the table and we probably ate it, but I was hardly aware of anything other than Gabe and his crazy amber eyes. The idea of having to go to Bella's for the opening toast before we could go home was making me a little nuts. But since I felt that Gabe had done so much for me, for us, I decided not to be a crank about it.

By the time we got to the café, we were a few minutes late and the place was already filled with the regular crowd and lots of people we both knew from work. I had been a little worried that the show wouldn't attract much attention, so I had sent around a couple of emails at work, asking people to come and see his work. Gabe must have done a similar thing. When we got there, we were greeted by lots of friendly faces.

Gabe squeezed my hand and tried to sound casual when he said, "You didn't threaten them into coming, did you? You know 'show up to my boyfriend's thing or I'll make sure you get the crap assignments'?"

I laughed and replied. "No, of course not." When Gabe gave a little sigh of relief, I said, "They know me well enough that I don't have to threaten anymore."

"Beast."

"You know it." I made little circles on the inside of his wrist until he started to look like he would melt.

From behind us I heard Isabelle's voice. "Gabe, you're here. And Tom, I'd know that back anywhere." I had no idea what she meant, but before I had much time to wonder, I found the little dynamo hugging me and pushing me towards the serving area. She told me to get us each some champagne for toasting and that she needed a moment to speak to Gabe alone. Whatever.

Amy was at the counter discussing her options for baby-friendly drinks with the staff and I eyed some chocolate.

"You know Tom," Amy said quietly to me. "He's really good."

I laughed and raised an eyebrow when I met her eyes. "Yeah, but how do you know that."

"God, you can be such a pig," she rolled her eyes at me. "Why I expect you to be more romantic or civilized just because you're gay, I have no idea."

I decided to let that go since I'd rather talk about my favorite subject. "Do you think so? I mean, is he talented? I think so, but then I'm not really objective, you know?"

Amy nodded, "Yeah, he is. His work is traditional and meticulous and incredibly well done. It's possible that if he didn't bring such emotion to his paintings and sketches, it might look a little cold. But somehow, even in the sketches, he seems to bring out feelings and provoke thought."

"Damn Amy, you sound like an art critic." This was a side to my friend I hadn't known. "Where do you learn to talk like that?"

She slugged my arm for that. "Sometimes, when I'm not working for you or watching Frisbee, I read and go to museums, you idiot."

We got our tray of decadence from the server and found a back table when I noticed that Gabe was trying to get my attention. He was standing with a group of people, in front of the biggest canvas and it looked like they were getting ready to toast. I excused myself to Amy and made my way over to Gabe. Once I had a glass of champagne in my hand the toasting started.

As Isabelle started talking about the wonderfulness that is Gabe, I let my eyes wander to the painting behind me. It wasn't huge, maybe three feet by four feet and hanging portrait-wise down the wall. This had been the one painting Gabe had been a little secretive about, not wanting me to see, which of course made me completely curious. But I had been able to resist the temptation and had stolen a peek. Now, as everyone talked, I looked behind me and saw what I thought was my ass.

Thank God, it wasn't just my ass, but also my hand, back and shoulders, too. In the painting, a man (me, I think) was turned to face a bookcase and he was reaching for a book just above eye-level, but within reach. Now that I was this close, I could see what Amy had been saying about meticulous detail. The hand was flexed to touch, but didn't quite. The shoulders, under the obviously soft material were stretched just a bit. The jeans were baggy, like the man had been sitting down for a long time. The detail was crazy. It was like I could almost watch my hand touch the book, feel the texture of the spine.

In the corner, front of the painting was the reading chair, and I recognized it as the one in Gabe's old apartment. When we were first together, I used to sit in it, before I realized that Sandra's couch was more comfortable. A little calendar popped up behind my eyes and I started to count the days and weeks backwards. Gabe had been working on this a long time. It was proof, of a sort. He had cared for me almost from the beginning of our friendship. He had felt strongly enough about me to think about me, draw me, paint me. Maybe I wasn't the only one who was serious about us. A lump I couldn't swallow began to form in my throat and I drank some hard swallows of champagne to make it go away.

All this time, I had been nervous that I was the only one of us who really wanted us to be together. I thought I had been the one reaching and stretching for something I wasn't sure I could have. This painting told me that not only did Gabe see that, but he could feel our connection and felt the same. And he had felt that a long time before last night.

At that moment a cheer went up in the café and the final toast had been drunk. The whole toasting thing had completely passed me by and I found myself staring into Gabe's eyes. Those amazing amber eyes held fear, expectation, hope and love and he was looking straight at me.

"What do you think," Gabe leaned into me and whispered.

I pulled back and tried to breathe. "I'm overwhelmed." And all could do as wrap my arms around Gabe, bury my face in his neck and breathe him into me, more elemental than air. Somewhere off at a very great distance, I could hear another cheer go up.

Gabe murmured in my hair, "Shhh. I've got you, I've got you now." Over and over, he crooned as if I were a child, or someone precious, or his lover. I knew I would never be able to forget the feeling of his arms holding me, just like I would never forget the sensation of my arms holding him, waking with him curled into my body.

When we finally entered the real world again, I was able to see a whole room full of people who cared about us, not just one or the other, but us. If I had really thought about it, I probably would have been embarrassed to have had such an intimate moment in a public place like that. But somehow, it didn't really matter. I didn't feel alone in the world anymore, with a boyfriend like Gabe and a crowd of friends.

"You never were alone, you big ape," Henry said later when I told him how I felt. "Maybe with Gabe, you'll be able to see that better."

Leave it to Henry to tell me the truth and forget to be gentle about it.

The evening went on a bit longer and I ended up talking to tons of people. That part was tons easier than I usually think it will be. My boss was there and I totally forgot to be nervous. Parties and events like this usually made me want to sit in a corner and read until it was time to go home. This time at least, I felt okay, even happy to spend time with actual people instead of fictional characters.

Finally though, I was ready to be done with crowds and I wanted to be with only one person, and I didn't feel like sharing. As we climbed the stairs to my apartment with Gabe following me, I heard his voice.

"Did you notice the title?"

"Nope, what was it? 'The guy who ignored the world around him'?" I snarked.

"Ouch. No, it wasn't that bad. Part of me wanted to mention your name, but instead I called it 'I Read a Lot.' Not very original or inspired, but it was what occurred to me." I could hear Gabe's shoulders shrug.

Having reached the top of the stairs, I turned and faced Gabe as he stepped up to face me. "Thank God I have a little bit more going on in my life now," I said as I tugged him to me by pulling on his shirt front. Before I started kissing him, I decided I should probably get the door unlocked get inside the apartment.

Gabe had no restraint and nibbled my neck as I concentrated on the lock. He chewed up to my ear and husked, "I hope it's a little more than just a little more, especially after last night."

"Cut it out or we'll be out here all night," I growled back and pushed him back a little to make my point.

Gabe let me finish with the locks and then he pushed me into the apartment and practically attacked me. In those porn stories I hadn't needed to read for a while, some guy would often muscle the other against a door, kissing him senseless and generally dominating him in an incredibly sexy way. All I can say is that it looked to me like Gabe had read a few of those stories, too. And I kind of liked it.

Words trickled into my brain as Gabe chewed on my ear and worked the belt of pants loose. I vaguely heard things like, 'mine now,' 'kissed me in front of your boss,' 'want every bit of you,'.

It was driving me a little frantic; the groping, the kissing and talking. Never had anyone wanted me this much, I had never been this important to another person, and it was the one man I realized I loved. Finally, my head began to spin and I was dizzy with the need to be closer to Gabe, as close as I possibly could be.

"Not yet," Gabe whispered. He had felt my need yet he still held the reins tonight. "I want to look at you, I want to undress you and see all of you."

A groan of desire and frustration left my throat. Screw that. 'Look later, fuck me now,' I thought with mounting impatience. Instead, I followed Gabe into my bedroom, lit only by the lambent rays of the streetlights and the full moon. By now I was half dressed fighting for a deep breath of air. Ultra-sensitive to his every touch, my skin begged to be caressed and caressed.

Gabe took a step to me and seemed to glow in my eyes, catching and bending the moonlight until he was luminous. He caught my eyes and held them, his irises cat-like and shining in the near-dark, as he slowly slipped the buttons of my shirt free and then slid it from my shoulders. Off came the pants and the rest until I stood before him completely naked, exposed and wholly at ease with everything that lay between us.

"You're magnificent, you know," Gabe husked in a needy whisper as he trailed fingers over my shoulders. Behind me now, he allowed his fingers to caress the muscles of my back, the globes of ass, the length of my legs. "I could draw you only you and never get bored."

When Gabe rose to his feet behind me, I only had a moment to register that somehow he had undressed too before I felt overwhelmed by him. He was pressed to my back, from calf to earlobe and every inch in between. His height advantage allowed me to lean back into him, tilt my head to rest on his shoulder and let him take the lead. His hands roamed over my chest, nipple by nipple, and he explored the little places that made me groan and whimper. With my mouth close to his ear, he heard each little gasp and moan. And all the while, his incredibly exquisite erection pressed into my lower back, a promise of more pleasure to come.

"Hmm, not the nipples much?" Gabe joked as he fondled my chest.

"Not as much as you," I managed to reply as he found just the right squeezing pressure and I hissed with arousal. "Maybe." He chuckled in my ear.

"What about lower?" Gabe soothed and moved a hand lower, tracing the whorls of my chest and belly hair, following it lower. "Anything down there need some attention?" By now he was teasing me by grinding his cock into my back, holding one hip to give himself better friction. We rocked back and forth achingly slow to some unheard rhythm in the dark of my room, as he explored every inch of me and I fought my instincts to let him.

When Gabe finally reached my aching dick, he grazed my neck with his teeth and I nearly came in the spot. The simultaneous sensations brought up to and nearly over the edge of ecstasy so fast, little spots of bright light flashed before my closed eyes.

"Shhh," Gabe cooed behind me. "Not quite yet, baby. I want more than that." And he soothed me with his sweet, calming words, and brought me back from the verge of completion, but not very far back. All the while, he mumbled his endearments and told me how much he wanted me.

"Yesyesyesyesyes," I answered him back. It was a mantra, a demand, a plea. I needed the end to come before I exploded in the night and shattered so completely I wasn't sure I would ever find the pieces again. Gabe had to set me free from feeling so much.

The bed was a few feet away and we moved to it as one, united person, one body joined with sweat and longing. Behind me still, Gabe lay me on my side and resumed the rhythmic undulating of his body against mine, only now the goal was becoming (thankfully) more evident. I brought Gabe's top leg between mine and pushed my ass towards him, hoping he got the idea that I was more than okay with him topping. I'd done it before, but never had I wanted it so badly that I thought I might go crazy without it.

Gabe rumbled behind me, words and sounds melding, "Won't want to leave you if I do, Tom. No one else, no one else, just you. Inside you, all around me."

His noises, like a personal soundtrack, went on, winding me tighter and tighter. "Under the pillow," I groaned as I leaned back, reached behind me and grabbed his dick, feeling the silky, juicy tip and rubbing the slickness around the crown with my thumb. "Before I scream."

"Hmm, scream, shout," Gabe mused and could feel him fumbling for the lube and condoms. He shoved one into my hand and I sensed the splash of cold lubed on my fingers. "Roll it on baby, all the way down." As I did, I felt his slippery fingers slide down the cleft between my cheeks and then tease the sensitive skin around my tight hole. Circles and rubs and prods and then his finger inside as I groaned at the awareness.

"Yes," I whimpered with momentary relief. I curled my body forward, pushing my ass towards Gabe's touch. Pretty soon though, it wasn't enough. My hands grabbed blankets and pillows, looking for some leverage, some way to push back into Gabe, to deepen the invasion. I pushed and writhed, helpless and unable to get enough of him. I was beginning to feel a little frantic and desperate. Finally, when I thought I might become dizzy, he was there. The length of Gabe's body was pressed into me, from foot to forehead, hot and taut and he was at least as desperate as I was.

"I'm here now," Gabe whispered into my ear. "I'm right here with you." And with a push and a thrust we were joined. No huge, stabbing pain just pressure and stretching of opening my body to accept him into me. The pain of being alone and feeling like I would always be that way had been agony. This minor discomfort was a celebration, proof that were together.

I groaned and grabbed his hip to bring him as close to me as possible. "Oh yeah, that's good," I groaned. Then I leaned forward and opened up more to him, letting him have as much room to move as we both needed.

Gabe's words washed over me as I tried to hang on. He had shifted over me and started moving in this completely erotic writhing motion that was driving me crazy. His dick must have had some sort of homing device that targeted my prostate because it every thrust pushed, rubbed and stroked it until I thought the top of my head was going to melt and my brain would explode.

"Can't hold it back, hurry, oh fuck, yeah," I was babbling. By now Gabe was pounding into me with a series of noises that had no relation to words anymore. He pushed into me over and over and all I knew was that I never wanted it to be over. I never wanted this feeling of giving myself to Gabe and taking him into me to over.

Every muscle I had screamed in defiance. This couldn't go on forever, even if I wanted it to. Pushing my head back toward his, I heard him whisper "Now. It's my turn to feel it." Damn, that did it. Cum gushed out of me as Gabe gave one almighty last thrust into my sensitive ass.

Is falling asleep really that different from passing out? High emotions, stress, exhaustion and sex all combined together in that one climax and I don't think either of us regained consciousness until the next morning. We woke, blessed out and half strangled by the bed sheets. It was quite a way to start our life together.

** Epilogue**

I still read a lot. The books have changed and my apartment is crammed full of canvases and all of Gabe's other stuff, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Lately, I have been reading "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and every book about travelling in France I can find.

After we moved the last of Gabe's things out of Sandra's apartment, I decided that it was ridiculous that he had never been to Europe to see some of the artists he had studied in school. I mean, I know he has that whole starving artist thing going on, but I figured that I could be his Sugar Daddy, at least this time.