I See The Moon

"Of course, I understand perfectly with your divorce and all. It must have been really hard on you. I hope you get your job at the planetarium." Ben said extending his strong, warm callused hand for me to shake when he deserved a kiss on the cheek at the very least and I took his hand and shook it.

Darn him all to heck, why did he have to be so nice.

"It was a real pleasure meeting a fine Southern Lady like you, Mary Beth."

Ben picked up his cane and rapped the tip once sharply on the floor and I let him walk out the door.

A couple of weeks had gone by since that incident. Out of curiosity I took a different way home and drove out to Ben's place. Just to look I told myself and besides I was not ready yet until the right man came along.

We can't possibly have anything in common. Ben told me he is Catholic, an orphan raised in an orphanage by nuns. I am a Baptist.

There was no car in the driveway and that was good since he probably was not home. I don't want to give him the wrong idea.

It is a large house set back about 300 yards from the road; three stories of weathered gray wood with no paint to be seen. The wraparound front porch was sagging with holes in the floor.

The porch's roof was falling in with columns missing. The front steps were completely gone. Most of the windows were boarded over and there were holes in the roof covered with plastic tarp and plywood.

Ben's property was overgrown with vines and weeds although I could see he had started to clear a small section around the house.

His barn had collapsed completely and was overgrown with vines and weeds. No wonder Ben bought the property for taxes; nobody wanted it. The house had probably been vacant for years.

I never saw Ben again in the restaurant after that day. Seven months later I was interviewed for a job at the planetarium to be hired on the spot; I finally got my dream job.

I made some female friends and a few male acquaintances; one of my male coworkers made a pass at me on my first day.

A year and a half had gone by since leaving my husband. We were officially separated and the bastard was contesting the divorce. I decided to test the waters.

I went out on my first date with a man one of the girls from work fixed me up with.

I let Marcus know from the start that I was not ready for a relationship and only wanted to be friends and he agreed.

Marcus is so tall and handsome and he knows how to dress. He is six- three with an athletic build. He has thick black hair and blue eyes and dimples in his cheeks when he smiles.

We went for coffee and dessert. On our next date we went out for lunch. From there it was dinner and dancing.

It was late when he dropped me off home after first stopping off for drinks. I don't drink strong libations and sipped club soda with a twist of lime. Marcus had quite a few. Concerned I invited him in for coffee to help sober him up; and by coffee I meant coffee. I had just closed the door behind us and Marcus was all over me. He was groping me, trying to kiss my mouth; I tried to reason with him, tried to push him away.

"You know you want it, Mary Beth, so stop being a tease."

I screamed the first thing that came to mind "Ben, get in here!"

When Marcus turned to see whom I was calling, I kicked him in the groin and managed to push him out the front door, locking it behind me.

"Leave or I'm calling the police." I shouted through the door as he staggered to his car.

I took a long hot shower feeling violated and dirty before going to bed, getting little sleep. The next day, I confronted Rosie and told her about her brother.

"That's not the story I heard, Mary Beth, you lush. Marcus told me that you were drunk and all over him. He said you practically undressed him and then changed your mind. If you didn't want it, why invite him in?"

"I invited him in for coffee!"

"Right Miss innocent" Rosie said sarcastically "So pure and chaste and once married to a minister. As far as I am concerned you are nothing more than a cheap holier than thou tease.

I bet you never put out for your husband either you lush; no wonder you're going through a divorce."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was so upset that I went to my supervisor, Nancy, and asked to take the rest of the afternoon off.

I had two weeks of vacation coming Nancy suggested that I take it now which I gratefully did.

I drove to Ben's house intending to talk to him and apologize. I would accept his invitation for dinner. Again there was no car in the driveway and I was having second thoughts.

I parked the car on the road and walked up the new driveway admiring the complexity of its pattern that he had laid out with red bricks.

You wouldn't know it was the same house. Ben had removed the hard packed rutted crushed stone driveway and replaced it with a brick driveway two cars wide. It extended right up to and wrapped around the front of the house to the restored wood porch.

Ben replaced the original wood steps with brick. Now the porch had wide brick steps with heavy wrought iron railings leading to the front door. The outside restoration to the house was almost complete, roof to basement with the wood primed and ready to be painted.

I also noticed that there was nothing on that magnificent porch except for one oak rocking chair with Rosary Beads hanging on a spindle and a folded red wool blanket on the floor.

The old barn was torn down and there was a ditch dug around the field stone foundation for him to install the drain tiles stacked to one side. No doubt Ben would build a new barn on the original foundation.

I got into my car and drove over to the next road where I parked and got out. I walked through the field to the tree line until I could see Ben's house through the trees.

I found a fairly level piece of ground for a tripod, perfect; I had a clear view of the front of his house.

For the next two weeks I drove by his house, always at a different time. I soon determined his schedule and routines. One late afternoon before dark I set up my telescope to watch the stars, but mostly to watch Ben.

I observed that Ben worked hard at clearing the brush and vines from his property in the late afternoon when it was cooler. He worked right up until dark with his little beagle following him around the yard.

It was obvious that Sophie was having trouble walking and at the end of the day, Ben gently picked Sophie up and carried her up the front steps. He then knelt down and put on her blanket, kissing her head.

Ben would bring out her dinner and then his. Sophie would wait for him and they would eat together. Ben always saved something from his plate to give her.

I started bringing my dinner with me and waited to eat with them while watching from the stand of trees.

Then they would sit on the porch and listen to the radio until about midnight. I watched them on and off for another two weeks wishing that I had gone out to dinner with Ben, just once. Wishing that I were sitting on that porch, wishing......................

One Friday evening it was overcast and Ben was not following his usual routine. The weather forecast predicted a 40% chance of rain by midnight.

Ben was working in the yard but he didn't seem himself.

Perhaps he was ill and I noticed that Sophie wasn't outside with him. It was obvious after watching Ben for two weeks he enjoyed the hard manual labor of clearing his property.

After living in a studio apartment all of his life, this place must seem huge to him; a place where he can spread out.

Ben seemed to be dragging his feet as if he was tired or his heart wasn't in it. He would pause often to look at the house.

Around dark he went inside and then came back outside. Ben was carrying a small bundle in his arms wrapped in a red wool blanket as if he were carrying a baby or a small child.

I watched him kneel and kiss it before he put his bundle gently on the ground. He left and returned with a shovel.... Ben started to dig his beloved Sophie's grave.

My heart was breaking watching him and I thought about my loveless marriage and the time I wasted with Luke.

I realized how lonely I was and how lonely Ben was with no family at all. Now everything that he ever loved was gone.

I started to cry.

It was raining lightly and the wind started to pick up as I watched him, wanting to comfort him and share his grief.

I watched him kneel and place Sophie gently into her grave and then stand up. It was raining harder now but at least it was a warm Mississippi rain. Ben picked up the shovel looking down into her grave; he stood there like a lost soul.

The telescope was useless now. The rain was now coming down in buckets distorting the image. I hurriedly started putting things away while watching him stand there; everything was getting wet and slippery.

I slipped on wet leaves and fell knocking over my telescope, tipping the case and causing the various eyepieces to spill to the ground.

I was on my knees sobbing in the dark groping for the last eyepiece. There was a roll of thunder and a flash of lightning followed by another flash. I found myself crying out his name as I looked in Ben's direction.

The lightning flashes illuminated him as Ben dropped to his knees. He reached down into the hole coming up with his Sophie wrapped in her red blanket holding her tight to his chest. Ben was rocking with his face pressed against his precious bundle and Sophie was no longer there to return his love.

Sobbing uncontrollably now I fled the stand of trees abandoning my telescope. The branches were hitting me as I frantically pushed through them trying to get to him; I was praying as I ran.

I ran up his driveway falling on the slippery bricks, skinning my hands but I was oblivious to the pain when I finally reached him.

I felt as if a burden had been lifted from my soul when I ended my prayer. I calmly knelt beside Ben in the mud and touched his shoulder.

"Ben, it's me Mary Beth. Let me help you Ben, let me help you as you helped me."

"She's gone Mary Beth. I am truly alone now."

Moving to the other side of the grave and reaching out with my arms, I said, "Let me help you, Ben. Let me help you put Sophie to rest."

Ben lifted his head looking at me and he extended Sophie in his arms for me to share his bundle across the way.

Putting my hands under his we slowly laid his precious Sophie to rest. Then I took his hands and squeezed them, looking at his beautiful, homely face.

Letting go, I started pushing the wet soil and mud into the grave with my hands; discarding the shovel Ben did the same. We finished by smoothing the top and patting it level, our hands touching as we worked.

Taking his strong muddy hands in mine, "I never really thanked you properly for saving me." I leaned forward and kissed his cheek.

"I'm afraid, Mary Beth."

"What are you afraid of, Ben?"

"I'm afraid of being alone for the rest of my life."

"No Ben, you are not afraid of anything. I won't let you be afraid my brave Yankee."

I held his beautiful homely face in my muddy hands and I kissed his lips.

"Will you spend the night, Mary Beth? Just having you in the house with me tonight will be enough."

"Of course I will stay, Ben."

Looking up I noticed for the first time that it had stopped raining and the full moon was peeking through the clouds.

"Look Ben, a harvest moon, isn't it beautiful?"

"Not as beautiful as you, Mary Beth"

And now it was my turn to blush.

"Mary Beth, there is something I need to say so that I will know...so you will know."

Ben put his strong muddy hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes as he prayed, "I see the moon and the moon sees me...............

I put my arms around his neck while looking into his kind gray eyes, finishing the prayer

"God bless the moon and God bless me."

And we knew.... we had finally found each other.

We went into the house together holding hands...holding hands at our age. He took me upstairs to his bathroom to clean up. My clothing was soaked through and Ben gave me a terrycloth robe to wear while he hung my clothing over his kitchen chairs to dry.

We sat on the porch sharing a pot of tea. We talked about Sophie and about Brandy and many other things watching the sunrise together as we watched our harvest moon disappear.

Ben brought me to his bedroom and insisted that I sleep there. Beside the kitchen, his bedroom was the only furnished room in the house with the most magnificent and massive carved poster bed that I had ever seen; it could comfortably sleep two with room to spare.

He insisted that I sleep there and that he would sleep on the floor in his sleeping bag in the next room.

"Ben, please close your eyes first, I want to show you something."

When he did I quickly undressed dropping the robe to the floor standing naked in front of him

"Do you think that I am pretty, Ben?" He inhaled sharply as he opened his eyes.

"I think that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me Mary Beth, as well as the most beautiful. You are the answer to my prayers."

Hesitating momentarily, Ben stepped forward and put his arms gently around me. I could tell from his eyes that he wanted to kiss me."May I kiss you, Mary Beth?"

"Please, Ben."

He kissed my lips long and deep stirring feelings in me that I had not had since I was a teenager.... a teenager of seventeen again tingling all over with butterflies in my stomach.

"I'm not going to break and you may hold me tighter. Would you take my hair down? I would do it myself but it would be so much nicer to have my lover do it for me."

Ben reached up and deftly found and removed every hairpin holding my bun in place as if he had done this hundreds of times for me.

Then he pulled off my elastic hair tie from my ponytail and smoothed my long blond hair slightly damp from the rain over my shoulders and down my back. He buried his hands in my hair and sighed.

"You have such beautiful hair, Mary Beth. It's soft and thick and silky, a gift from God; a beautiful sight for all to see to be shared with the world.

Spun from heaven's gold which shines like a heavenly halo about your head; your halo of golden sunlight to rival an angel's tresses.

Promise me that you will never cut it short for that would be a sin... please promise me, my precious Lady. Because you truly are my Lady now; the harvest moon and our prayer has confirmed us.... you are my blessing from God."

I took the initiative and asked Ben to undress me and then I him.

My hands lingered on his arms and shoulders. Ben is compact and solid with the long ropey muscles of a martial arts fighter.

I saw then my Yankee was covered in small scars from cuts or healed burns all over him. No doubt Ben received them during his career as a smoke eater.

I would find out later that Dad still has countless connections and did some checking on Ben.

Ben was always the first one in a burning building and the last one out. He has numerous Medals for Bravery awarded to him for above and beyond that he was too modest to display; Ben keeps them locked in a drawer.

Dad also told me that Ben is most proficient in the Martial Arts particularly judo and stick fighting. Daddy is very impressed with him and for my father that was saying something.

I am still fascinated on how close he became to taking a vow of celibacy and becoming a priest.

Ben's kisses are indescribable; warm and sweet but so masculine. He devoured me with his mouth and his kisses. I was aroused beyond anything I dreamed possible that night he did everything right... I had my first oral sex with him.

Oral sex with his tongue, licking and probing my flower, my clitoris, it was shear ecstasy.... he was keeping me on the edge of orgasm, my sweet and final release.... teasing, cajoling and encouraging.

The dam of my desires pent up for all those years burst forth washing over me making me cry out his name.... and then simply cry.......he is the one! . My brave Yankee patiently held me stroking my hair. I cried softly in his strong arms until my river of tears were finally spent.

We were lying there, face to face and we made love; his manhood was probing and caressing my flower while our lips and tongues were lovers unto themselves.

Before I thought my orgasm was the elusive nirvana... but now as his hot seed burst forth and seared into me, it was not merely waves of ecstasy as before, but a tsunami of pure orgasmic molten love and ecstasy overwhelming us and it melted our souls together....our very beings.... nirvana was but a trifle to what I experienced with him..... And afterward, we fell asleep fused in each other's arms.....................

Mary Beth and I watched the stars until bedtime. I brought Luna inside after she did her business one more time while Mary Beth put her telescope in the front room and got the bed ready.

Our shower will have to wait until tomorrow before I meet my angel's family.

Can you imagine, they're roasting a whole ox roast just for us...