I Should Have Never Let Her Gobyadmirallotus©
It all started on my 21st birthday...
My friend Rachel had her birthday the day before mine, so we agreed to get together and plan an insane party with plenty of booze for the entire weekend. We decided to meet the afternoon before the party at a local restaurant, to have lunch and talk about what food and drinks we should get for the it. I had figured it would be just me and a few of her friends, but Rachel had brought someone with her I didn't expect.
Being the unfashionably late person I am, I walked in after they had already been seated and was stunned by the beauty sitting next to Rachel. I was entranced just for a moment, taking in her dirty blonde hair and blue gray eyes that reminded me of the ocean during a storm. Her smile was stunning, and even though she was sitting I could see those legs that seemed to never end. Rachel called my name to get my attention, apparently she didn't notice my staring at the beauty next to her. I sat down slowly, avoiding eye contact with the young woman at first, trying to focus my attention on Rachel's conversation she had started with me. Soon I stole a glance, and with a smile asked about the young woman beside her. Rachel introduced her as her cousin Zoe. I greeted her, and exchanged pleasantries as if everything was normal. From then on I tried to keep from staring, bringing up conversation with Rachel to keep myself preoccupied or just keeping silent and "examining" the menu.
Eventually we had nothing else to talk about, so I took a breath and turned to Zoe. I asked her where she was from, and she said somewhere south of Houston. I asked what she was doing for schooling, if she was taking classes at a college somewhere, and to my surprise she told me something that shocked me.
She was only fourteen!
My mind locked up. Every fantasy that had been mulling around my head, every cry of pleasure I imagined coming from her, was instantly silenced. I gave myself a mental slap in the face for thinking such things.
Later that night at the party...
After a few beers and a couple shots of vodka, my inhibitions towards her started to fade. To my dismay, she had decided not drink that night, which put a damper on my... poorly... thought out advances. By midnight most of the people around me wanted to watch a movie, so we rolled out a mattress in front of the TV, and with couches on either side we had made a fairly decent home theater/couch fort. I was lucky enough to find myself in the middle of the mattress,and to my right my friend Anna, probably blitzed out of her mind, laid down to watch the movie.
I watched my friends as we went through the hysterical antics of trying to figure out how to work the DVD player while drunk. Without me noticing, Zoe slipped under the blanket to my left on the mattress. As soon as I noticed, my heart nearly stopped, and I figured I had either just died and gone to heaven, or I just became the luckiest son of a bitch alive. She snuggled into the blanket, not necessarily up against me, but enough to be comfortable. As the movie went on, everyone started to doze off, and eventually someone turned off the TV and everyone either passed out or started to fall asleep. By this time my drunk mind came to the conclusion that nothing was going to happen between me and Zoe, so I turned onto my right side facing Anna and started to doze.
Then it happened.
I felt a shift to my left, I didn't think much of it at first, but then I felt a hand slowly wriggle its way under my arm. Before I knew it, I found myself in some sort of backwards spooning position. My heart started to race, and I knew she could feel it. She pressed herself against my body, and all I could do is sit there with my eyes wide open, trying to figure out what to do about this. The logical side of me was screaming for me to stop this before anything more happens, but the lustful side of me was roaring for me to turn around and see how far this would go. An agonizing ten minutes went by, and I made my decision.
Logic can go to hell, I want her too badly.
Quietly I turned around to face Zoe and looked her in the eyes. Her eyes widened, as I leaned in and kissed her boldly at first, drinking in those luscious lips. Her eyes closed as we silently kissed, trying not to move too much and wake up the people sleeping around us. As we broke our embrace, we laid there and looked at each other, knowing without speaking what was on our minds. It was strange how comfortable she made me feel like this, and any thought of her age, possible consequences, or otherwise important things holding me back the whole night slipped my mind. I kissed her again, a little more tenderly this time, letting her know that this wasn't just a drunk fantasy of mine, that I really meant it.
Just then someone on the couch behind her started fidgeting in their sleep, tossing around a bit to get comfortable, and the reality of what was going on crawled back into my mind. I felt sad, knowing that no matter how well she and I might have turned out, no one would approve of someone her age being with me. I sighed quietly, knowing that tomorrow we would part ways and have to pretend this night never happened. She saw in my eyes what I felt, gave me a sad smile and kissed me lightly, turning over to curl up against me. My body against hers, with our hands interlaced as young lovers do, we drifted off into fitful sleep. We shared our warmth and affection, both knowing we may never share it again after the night ended.
The next morning...
I left that morning without a word more than good bye, unable to express myself while the others were around. I only wish we'd had a moment alone, to talk, to figure out how we really felt and if this was worth fighting for. Now I can only wonder if I'll ever see her again, if I'll ever have the chance to hold her once more without telling Rachel this tale to do so. If not we'll move on and fall in love, live out our own distant destinies.
However, I will always wonder...