I Told You So Ch. 09

"God, I'm so glad you're awake."

His voice dripped with desire and heat rushed through me. His lips brushed against the back of my neck and I shuddered.

"How long have you been up?" I asked shakily, my stomach fluttering.

"I don't know, I feel like I've been just staring at you for ages," he murmured desperately, his breath tickling my skin.

His mouth found the back of my ear and I sucked in my breath.

"I've just been lying here, smelling your hair and willing you to wake up."

My hips pressed back into his instinctively and I sighed.

"You could've woken me," I teased.

He buried his face in my hair, inhaling deeply. "I suppose. But it was such sweet torture just watching you, wondering what you were dreaming about...just feeling you in my arms - I didn't want it to end."

His tongue teased my earlobe and I pressed into him again, shivering as he moaned into my ear. He ran a hand down my belly and cupped it between my legs.

"God, Chelsea," he groaned. "I want to be inside you again...I need to feel you."

I arched my back, my head dropping back to his chest.

"Joe," I whispered urgently. "I don't know what you do to me," I said in amazement. "But I need you, too."

He bit my earlobe and grabbed my leg, lifting it up and sliding into me slowly. I felt him let out a long breath against my neck, his arms wrapping tightly around my waist.

"God," I dragged out in a long moan. "Jesus, you feel so good."

He shuddered around me and I rested my hands on his arms.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

He pressed his face against my shoulder, not speaking or moving. Finally he raised his head and kissed my cheek.

"You feel incredible, kitten." He brushed away some of my hair that was tickling his face. "I just can't believe you're here with me, that I get to be with you like this." His voice was tight with emotion.

I pressed my lips together and shut my eyes, my hands gripping his arms. Though I was, little by little, growing accustomed to loving both Ben and Joe - accepting that while unexplainable, our relationship worked, that it was okay - when confronted with the intensity and depth of Joe's feelings for me in moments like this, the guilt and uncertainty returned, the niggling doubt inching its way into my brain from deep inside. I wanted to respond in kind but it seemed like it would be a lie or somehow unfaithful to Ben, given that he was the one I had pledged my life to. Any similar declarations to Joe felt like they would be false and unfair, despite feeling the same way he did.

I realized my entire body was tense and unmoving when Joe let out a small sigh and withdrew an arm, propping himself up to look down at me.

"Please don't feel guilty," he said sincerely, tucking my hair behind my ear.

I turned to meet his eyes, unable to stop the smirk. "How do you guys do that? Christ, it's like you've both taken mind-reading classes."

Joe chuckled. "We just know you, kitten."

I rested my cheek on my arm, thinking. Suddenly Ben's voice echoed in my head again.

As far as I'm concerned, you and Joe can be in love too, and he'll always be a part of our relationship in some way...it doesn't take away anything from what you and I have.

Joe was a part of us, of me. He always would be, whether or not he and I were having sex, even if he met someone and fell in love. Somehow I knew unequivocally that was true. Given everything we had been through so far, everything we had done, was it really so outlandish to return his feelings? In a sense, Joe would be a partner in life for me as well. Perhaps not in the exact way that Ben would, but he would be there regardless. I felt myself smile.

"What's that smile about?" Joe asked quietly.

I looked at him, stroking his hand. "I love you," I said decisively.

His head came back in surprise and my smile widened.

"I love you," I repeated tenderly, pushing back into him.

He had withdrawn and softened slightly when I had tensed up, but now responded quickly to the friction of our bodies.

"And I need you," I continued, my voice husky.

He held me tightly, his hips beginning to move languidly.

"Is that so?" he asked teasingly, running his tongue up my neck.

"Yes," I murmured. "I do."

I hesitated, unsure for a moment, then decided I had to stop holding back, once and for all.

"I need both of you. I want both of you. I still can't explain it, but I'm not sorry for it."

He let out a long, shuddering breath and thrust into me more deeply.

"I'm not sorry for it," I repeated under my breath, feeling as if a previously locked door had sprung open. "I want you - with me - and I never want to let go."

My words came in broken gasps as his hips sped up.

"You make me so happy," I went on, speaking to myself but wanting him to hear it too, acknowledging that saying it to one of them didn't mean I didn't feel it for the other; that it was encompassing, not exclusionary.

"You make me feel loved and beautiful and desirable...I'm so lucky -" I broke off in a gasp when he withdrew to the tip and sank back into me.

"Chelsea," he whispered in a choked voice.

"You're so amazing," I whispered, apparently unable to stop once I'd started.

My back arched as he slammed into me, his urgency increasing.

"God, Joe...your hands and your body - and those lips - fuck, those lips -"

I shivered as he teased me with the body part in question.

"And it's not just what you do to me with your body," I added, turning my head in an attempt to see him.

He blinked rapidly, slowing his movements. I moaned when his hands found my breasts, cupping them as if they were fragile flowers, my skin burning wherever he touched me.

"It's your heart," I murmured.

I lost the ability to speak when he pushed me onto my stomach, still inside me, and flattened me to the bed, pumping steadily into me. I gripped the sheets and cried out his name again and again. Soon his voice intermingled with mine and then he collapsed on top of me, his chest heaving against my back. He rolled over and lifted me easily so that I was spread on top of him, crushing me to him.

"Christ, woman," he muttered, brushing the hair off my face and tangling his fingers in it. "What was that?" He smiled faintly, his eyes searching mine in amazement.

I smiled sleepily. "I guess I had an epiphany."

His fingers ran across my brow before cupping my chin. He studied my eyes closely. I could see the questions flashing across his face.

"I love both of you," I said simply. "And I want to be with both of you, for as long as we can." I raised one shoulder in a shrug. "Whatever happens - I want us all to be together."

His expression was full of joy as if it were his birthday, not mine. I smiled at him before lowering my head to his chest, my ear over his heart.

"I have to say I'm a fan of your epiphany," he said once he caught his breath and I chuckled.

I gave him a playful bite and looked at him.

"Speaking of epiphanies," I said, tickling his chest, watching his face become curious. "You tied me up," I said, my voice full of mirth.

His expression changed to surprise and a flash of shyness and then became devilish, reminiscent of the predatory desire I saw when he had me at his mercy. I couldn't help laughing despite my body's heated response to the memory of how it had felt.

"God, I'd been wanting to do that for...forever," he said, his voice rough and deep. "You have no idea," he added huskily.

"Did it live up to your expectations?" I asked breathlessly.

I felt him jump against my stomach, growing harder instantly.

"What do you think?" he said in that commanding tone, gripping my chin and staring deep into my eyes.

"Though, you should know that you made me lose control much quicker than I planned - I had intended to do so much more, to keep you tied up for much longer than that," he told me seriously, running a hand down my back and squeezing my behind.

"Christ," I muttered. "I would have passed out."

He chuckled. "I'll just have to work on building up your tolerance," he warned.

I moaned involuntarily and pressed myself to him, rocking my hips slightly. He gripped my waist and kissed me, his chest rising off the bed in his urgency. In a breath he was seated and had positioned my legs around his hips, his hardening length sliding against me.

"Fucking hell," I said in a groan. "Really?"

His quiet laugh vibrated against my chest. "I can't get enough of you, kitten. I don't think I ever will."

His hands were still on my waist and he lifted me easily onto him. He kissed me and seemed to grow bigger and harder while he was inside me, my muscles contracting around him at the sensation. He gasped and cursed, his arms around me like a vice.

"You feel so fucking perfect around me," he whispered, his lips smashed into my ear. "Nothing has ever felt this good -" He gasped again when my hips jerked against him in response.

I locked my arms around his shoulders and just held on as he guided me, unable to move on my own. I felt the pressure begin deep in my belly before gradually spreading out to my extremities, the heat licking at my skin, my breath coming out in a low moan. I drifted slowly to the edge as if riding a wave, only barely able to hang on to him as he moved beneath me. My limbs were turning to jelly and my hands were slipping off his shoulders, his hands moving to my back to hold me upright, when I felt his release begin.

"Chelsea, kitten -" he cried out, panting. "Chels - oh, God - oh - fuck."

His words burst out of him in shuddering sobs, his face buried in my neck. His arms slackened and he lowered me to the bed with shaking hands. I arched my back, wanting to keep us connected, amazed that he was still hard. Stretching my arms over my head, a smile curling on my lips, I let out a long sigh. He ran his hands over the front of my body, still pulsing slightly inside me.

"Damn," I muttered, closing my eyes.

"God, I know," he breathed, caressing my skin.

We remained in that position for several minutes, both loathe to move. I finally felt him softening and slipping out of me and realized he must be uncomfortable. I lifted my arms to him and he pulled me up to his chest, both of us falling back onto the bed tangled up together.

When I woke up again, I was still sprawled on his chest and could tell by the light growing in the room that it was early in the morning. My face was pressed against him and I inhaled deeply, my hands resting on his hips. I felt his muscles beneath me and my body instantly responded. I arched slightly, pressing our lower bodies together, and teased his neck and chest with my tongue. He mumbled incoherently but when I looked at him, he seemed to still be asleep. Unable to resist having his body at my disposal, I ran my hands over him hungrily, tasting every inch of him.

He jerked in surprise when I settled between his legs and I paused, meeting his eyes. My mouth was open and hovering over the tip of his cock. His eyes were dazed. I smiled and took him between my lips without breaking eye contact. He dropped his head back with a curse. His hands were in my hair, pulling it away from my face and holding it in a ponytail so he could watch me. I was surprised at how quickly his body responded, given he'd come three times already, though it did take longer than usual. I relished the time it took to encourage him and all too soon he was standing at attention, tugging at my arms to spread my body over his, sinking into me. We moaned, our hands finding the other's. I rested my toes on the tops of his feet and our hips undulated against each other, our climaxes arriving in a gentle wave, our voices relegated to sighs and whimpers.

He wrapped his arms around me and we fell asleep without moving.