I Told You So Ch. 13

Just a short chapter this time, and also very light on the naughty bits. ;) Hope you don't mind. The remaining chapters are ready to go and should be posted soon.

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It wasn't a complete surprise when, a few months later, Joe told us it was over between him and Mia. He left for a business trip right after giving us the news so we didn't have a chance discuss it with him. What was unexpected was Mia calling me later that week to suggest we get together. She asked if I could bring the things she'd left at our house - a few CDs and some toiletries. I assumed that was the reason for her invitation, but I was glad for the chance to see her.

We met for dinner and drinks after work one night, and she caught me off guard by giving me a friendly hug when she arrived. Once we sat and ordered, I offered an apology for the breakup.

"Oh," she said somewhat dismissively. "It's okay. I kind of knew early on that it wouldn't go anywhere."

"Really?" I asked. "Then why -" I stopped myself, worried I was overstepping.

"Um, because he's freaking hot?" she said. She was grinning but I knew her reply was serious.

I grinned back. "Yeah, he is."

"But seriously, Joe's a terrific guy. I hope we can still be friends. It just - it was clear I was never going to mean as much to him. I'm not necessarily looking to get serious or settle down anyway, but I could tell he was starting to feel guilty or awkward about it, so I let him off the hook."

"Wait," I said, confused. "You ended it?"

She looked surprised. "Yeah, technically, I guess. Why - what did he tell you?"

"Oh, nothing - I mean, he didn't say he did the breaking up," I said in a rush. "Joe would never lie like that. He just said it was over. I guess I shouldn't have assumed..."

"Well, he probably would have soon. It's really not a big deal," she said simply.

I smirked. "I think I'm probably more upset about this breakup than the two of you are."

"Why?" she asked curiously.

"I don't know, you're both so great, and you seemed to get along so well. I guess I wish he could find someone...that's all," I said, shrugging.

Mia watched me thoughtfully for a moment, then we were both distracted by our food arriving. She didn't speak again for a few minutes.

"I don't know if that's going to happen," she said slowly, looking at her plate. "Not while his heart is elsewhere."

I looked at her through my lashes, trying to read her expression. Did she know? I was certain Joe never would have told her about the physical relationship the three of us shared, or at least if he had, he would have told Ben and me. But could she have guessed?

"Joe never cheated on you," I said awkwardly.

"Oh, I know that." She met my eyes, smiling reassuringly. "At least, not physically. But -" She stopped and shook her head slightly.

I stared at her as she returned to her food, wanting to ask what she meant and at the same time desperately trying to think of something to say to change the subject. My curiosity was winning and I was just about to speak when she looked up and saw me watching her.

"It never bothered me," she assured me with a small smile.

My mouth dropped open. "What - what didn't bother you?" I asked warily.

She finished a bite of food before putting down her fork and giving a small sigh. Resting her elbows on the table, she placed her chin on her hands and met my eyes.

"Chelsea, it's obvious how he feels about you. You're more than just a friend - more than his best friend's girlfriend. It never bothered me, that's all." She kept looking at me steadily.

I swallowed. "It's obvious?"

"Yeah," she said quietly, looking mildly surprised. "Why does that surprise you?"

"I - I don't know," I stammered, wondering just how much had been obvious.

She studied me for a minute before picking up her silverware. I tried to concentrate on my food, but my mind was racing. I was dying to ask what she knew, what her perception of our relationship was. My friends Janine and Rob knew the whole story, but they had only visited and met Ben and Joe, seen us all together, once. They were both free spirits and supportive - not at all judgmental. But I don't think they really understood the bond between the three of us.

Would Mia? She had spent enough time with all of us to possibly get it. I realized I desperately wanted to discuss it with someone who knew us - to get an outsider's perspective. I was also curious as to how we came across to people. This could be my only chance. I couldn't bring myself to actually spell it out for her, though.

"What did Joe tell you?" I asked quietly, not raising my eyes from my plate.

"About how he feels about you? Nothing."

I felt her eyes and looked up.

"He didn't have to," she continued.

I nodded, my cheeks growing warm.

"It doesn't seem like it bothers Ben, either," she commented.

I chuckled. "No, it doesn't," I said wryly.

"What I could never really be sure of," she said casually. "Is how you feel about him, though I have a guess."

I glanced up at her briefly, feeling my blush spread across my face.

"We don't have to talk about it," she told me.

I forced myself to meet her gaze. She was still watching me steadily.

"But it seems like you want to," she added.

I couldn't help a small laugh. "You're good," I remarked.

She chuckled. "Well, no offense, but I don't think any of you have the poker faces you think you do."

I smiled and shook my head. "No, probably not." I took a deep breath, my hands gripping the edge of the table. "I love both of them," I said, my voice only wavering slightly as I looked at her.

She nodded slowly. "Yeah. You do."

I was relieved at her matter-of-fact tone.

"And Ben knows?" she asked.

I nodded. "I think he knew before I did."

We were silent for a while before she spoke again.

"So...how does that...work?" she asked.

When I looked at her she was grinning somewhat teasingly. I laughed, relaxing.

"You mean, in general? Or in bed?" I joked.

Her grin vanished as her mouth dropped open in surprise. "I knew it," she declared.

I became serious. "I wasn't lying when I said Joe never cheated on you," I said firmly. "He didn't. We didn't - never -"

"I know, don't worry," she said with a smile. "But when he's not seeing somebody? You guys...?" she trailed off, leaning over the table eagerly.

"Yeah," I replied, looking down. "It's not just that, though," I said slowly, meeting her eyes again. "I do love them both. And they love each other, and me. It's not just about sex."

She nodded, waiting for me to continue.

"It's fucking bizarre, is what it is," I said with a sigh, leaning back in my chair. "But for whatever reason, it works."

"Then why do you want him to meet someone?" Her head was tilted, her brow wrinkled in confusion.

"Because - Ben and I are going to spend our lives together. He's my...One, you know? It doesn't seem fair for Joe to perpetually be the third wheel. He deserves to have someone of his own." I frowned. "No matter how right it feels between us, even though it just seems to - be so natural...I guess I can't stop thinking that at some point things have to become more...traditional. Does that make sense?" I looked at her helplessly.

"It makes sense. I just don't know if you get to choose that. I mean, I don't think his feelings for you are going to change, and he's never going to be able to have that with someone else while he feels that about you."

"It just seems so unfair to him," I whispered, pushing my plate away and leaning my arms on the table.

"I don't think that's really what bothers you about it," Mia said suddenly and I looked at her in surprise. "Maybe partly, but I don't think that's why you want him to meet someone. I think you can't get past what it would look like to everyone else if they knew about the three of you. Am I right?"

I stared at her. "Uh - probably," I admitted.

"Yeah," she agreed. "That would be hard. I don't have any advice there, sorry." She smiled comfortingly.

I shrugged. "So, it was totally obvious? You could tell?" I asked curiously. "I've always wondered how we come across to people."

She laughed. "Well, I had my suspicions. But it's not like it's a scenario that immediately jumps into a person's head, you know? It was a while before it occurred to me and that's when I started watching you guys more closely."

"Hm," I said thoughtfully. I placed my plate in front of me again and tried to eat.

"Look, if it works like you say, if it feels natural and you're all happy - well, that's the most important thing, right?" She looked at me kindly.

"I guess. And it does," I agreed. "They don't seem to have any doubts about it at all. But - I don't know, the world seems to be set up for couples, not trios. I mean, you can't marry two people. You can't put two partners on your medical insurance, for example. Or when people invite you to weddings, they invite the couple, not the threesome. It just seems like there's going to have to be an end point or something." I shook my head again, frustrated with my inability to articulate myself.

"Okay, but you all have your own jobs and health benefits. And how often do you get invited to weddings, anyway?" she joked.

I grinned involuntarily. "You sound like Ben. He's been able to rationalize this from the start. Maybe I just over-think things."

She shrugged. "Maybe. But you're all young and smart and love each other. Why worry about what's going to happen next? You're happy. You know how many people want that?"

I looked at her in concern and she laughed.

"No, not me. I mean, yeah, I'll miss Joe. But I'm not desperate to be in a relationship. I never planned to get married or have kids. I have a good life, and I am happy, whether or not I have a boyfriend."

"I didn't mean to imply -" I began.

"Oh, I know," she assured me. "Christ, I've really made you nervous tonight," she teased.

I giggled. "You're the first person I've been able to talk to about us - the first person who knows all of us to know what's going on."

She looked pleased. "I'll be honest," she said hesitantly. "I was hoping you and I could hang out. It's weird to ask a woman if she wants to be friends - it's more awkward than dating. But, you're fun."

She shrugged and gave me a small smile. It was the first time I'd ever seen Mia nervous or self-conscious.

"I'd like that a lot," I said emphatically.

Mia and I began meeting for dinner or drinks, or getting together for shopping. Ben seemed surprised by the news that Mia knew about us, but not bothered by it. Joe took it in stride.

"I thought she kind of suspected it," he admitted to us with a grin.

After a few weeks both Mia and Joe realized I was doing my best to keep them apart, not wanting things to be awkward since their breakup. They each assured me they were fine, so the four of us would go out occasionally, or sometimes she'd hang out at our house. She was so relaxed about our situation and I appreciated being able to be ourselves in front of another person.

About a month after their breakup, Joe and I had gotten up early one Saturday morning as we always did, leaving Ben to sleep in. We took a shower and steam, and then ended up in his bed. It was one of those rare occurrences of us being alone together where he wasn't aggressive. He curved his body around mine, our fingers twined, and we stared into each other's eyes as we slowly made love. After, we lay together with our limbs tangled, dozing off for an hour or so. When we woke, he took me again. We moved together languidly, Joe cupping my cheek and whispering sweet words to me.

This time I remained awake, pressed against him and listening to his breathing. I ran my hands through his chest hair lightly and inhaled the smell of him.

"Joe, can I ask you something?" I asked quietly.

"Of course, kitten."

"You're not going to date anyone else, are you." My voice was resigned; it was more a statement than a question.

He shifted so he was leaning against the headboard and brought me up to meet him, tilting my chin up to study my face. He looked inquisitive but apparently decided against asking me any questions.

"No, probably not," he replied seriously. "At least - I'm not going to go looking." He smiled softly. "I've learned enough to know that I shouldn't rule anything out."

He twisted a strand of my hair in his fingers, giving me a loving look. My brow furrowed but I couldn't think of anything to say.

"What's troubling you, kitten?" he asked gently.

I sighed. "I just -" I stopped and sighed again, then shook my head. "It's the same old concern I've always had. That this isn't fair to you."

"But I'm happy," he said simply. "I didn't think I could be this happy. And I am. So what's there to worry about?"

"But - don't you want more? And what about the future? I mean, don't you want to be able to bring someone home to your parents for the holidays? Don't you want to get married? Have kids? Be...normal?" I added with a grin.

"Kids?" he exclaimed. "Jesus, I am way too young to think about kids."

He shuddered and I giggled.

"We're almost thirty," I reminded him.

"Exactly," he said firmly. "Way too young." He grinned and hugged me.

"God," I said in exasperation, though I basically agreed.

Joe looked at me intently.

"I really don't think about kids or marriage, Chels. As far as the other stuff...yeah, I guess I wouldn't mind being able to shout to the world how I feel about you and how happy you make me. But it's not what's really important."

I searched his expression although I knew he was being honest.

"Okay," I said, still uncertain.

"Joe?" I said later.

"Hm?" he murmured drowsily.

"Your mom told me about the earrings you gave me," I said quietly. "That they belonged to your grandmother."

He brought a hand to my hair, running his fingers through it. "Oh?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked curiously.

"I don't know," he admitted with a laugh. "I meant to, and then I...didn't. And then, I worried that it might make you uncomfortable. I don't know," he repeated awkwardly.

"Thank you, for giving them to me." I tilted my head up so I could see them. "Do you know the story behind them?"

"What story?"

"Moira told me your grandmother got them from an artist friend. Your mom said she always thought he was in love with her mother and made them especially for her."

Joe's eyes widened. "Really," he stated.

"I never knew that," he said after a long silence. "She wore them often - I just thought they were one of her favorites. After her funeral I asked Mom if I could keep them because they always reminded me of her."

I hugged him tightly.

-

We invited our families for Thanksgiving, our first in our new house. My sister Cecelia tried to make it work but airfare for a family of four over a holiday was out of their budget, which I understood. Not surprisingly, my parents declined; they would be driving to Cecelia's for the holiday. But both Ben and Joe's parents came, of course, along with Joe's siblings. The women did the cooking, which I laughingly berated the boys about. But considering the men spent most of their time either working on the basement or going over plans for the process of finishing it, I wasn't really upset about it.

The day after Thanksgiving, everyone decided to head out for a hike. Moira had broken her ankle the week before, so I offered to stay home with her and keep her company. I helped her settle into the recliner and sat on the couch. We didn't speak for a while, but the silence was comfortable. At one point my eyes wandered to her to ask if she needed a fresh drink and I found her studying me. I gave a start of surprise and she became embarrassed, giving me a self-conscious smile.

"Chelsea," she began. "If I ask you something and assure you that I in no way mean it in a judgmental, old lady way - despite how it might come across - well, will you believe me that I'm not trying to offend you?"

"You're not an old lady, Moira," I said with a grin. "What do you want to ask?" I watched her curiously as she struggled to find the words.

"Why does Joe still live here, with you and Ben?" she asked finally.

I blinked. "Well - because," I said hesitantly. "Because - just because, I guess." I laughed. "We love having him here," I added lamely.

She nodded slightly, her brow wrinkled. "It just seems like you and Ben would want to...be on your own."

I shook my head immediately. "He's a part of us," I said without thinking.

She was still nodding slowly. There was a pause before she spoke again.

"He doesn't seem to date much," she commented. "Hardly at all, the last year or so - at least compared to before."

I watched her through lowered lashes. "Yeah," I said faintly.

She made a sound that was somewhere between a sigh and a laugh. I met her eyes.

"He's in love with you," she said frankly.

My mouth dropped open and my eyes widened.

"Surely you know that," she said quietly.

My eyes were still wide. I pressed my lips together and nodded. She gave me a small smile.

"I think Ben knows it too," she ventured.

"I - uh -" I stopped and nodded again.

I watched her eyes shift to my ear, to the earrings that had belonged to her mother. Involuntarily I reached up to touch it, looking at her warily. She nodded. I couldn't read her expression. She looked pleased, possibly at the sight of the earrings. But she also looked concerned and somewhat resigned. I couldn't tear my eyes away, much as I wanted to.

"I love him, too," I finally said. "We both do."

The smile she gave me was bittersweet. "Okay," she said quietly.

I kept watching her curiously. She noticed and smirked.

"If it works for all of you, if you're happy, then that's all that matters to me," she told me firmly.

I swallowed, not speaking for a while. "Our relationship is...unique," I stammered. I cleared my throat. "But we are happy."

There was another pause before she spoke again, laughter in her voice.

"You look as if I've scared the hell out of you," she remarked.

I giggled nervously. "Maybe," I admitted.

The conversation shifted to other things and I managed to relax for the rest of the afternoon. I stood automatically when we heard the cars pull into the driveway. Glancing at Moira as I heard the voices of everyone outside and about to enter the house, I felt a flash of panic. She smiled reassuringly.

"Don't worry," she said simply.

"Does - does Susan - what does she -" I asked haltingly.

She nodded comfortingly. I blinked, feeling a pressure behind my eyes.

"Is she upset about it?" I whispered.

"Oh, no, dear," she said quickly. She gave a small shrug. "Not at all. We don't really understand, but we love all of you and can see how happy you are. That's really all that matters to mothers."

I bit my lip, my brow wrinkled worriedly.

"Hey now," she said softly, reaching out a hand to me.

I took it and she squeezed my fingers.

"Don't worry yourself about it," she instructed. "That's an order."

I chuckled in relief and squeezed her hand in return.

"Thanks," I whispered.

After everyone left, I told Ben and Joe about the conversation. They were startled, but not upset. I knew they would never broach the subject with their mothers, and somehow knew it probably wouldn't come up again.

-

Life went on with our unique, bizarre but wonderful relationship. I still couldn't explain it, but I no longer tried. Everything was surprisingly normal: we experienced job stress and success, we spent time with friends, we bickered about minor things, we worked on the house, we traveled - sometimes the three of us together, sometimes just me and one of them, sometimes the two of them would take a guys trip.

I had accepted - happily - that I could expect a lifetime of fulfillment with the two of them, confident nothing would change that.