I Will Love You Forever Pt. 2 Ch. 19

Mai couldn't believe that word had gotten around so quickly. She scrambled for something to say but couldn't come up with anything that would sound believable. She opted for the truth.

"My father intervened," she said as she sat down in the chair next to Vera.

"Your father? Why...Kenjiro isn't it?" Vera asked. "He figured something was going on didn't he? Mai..."

"Do not say it!" Mai said angrily. "I am tired of hearing I told you so! I am tired of being told what I can and cannot do with my life and what I should feel!"

"I was going to say that I'm sorry that things are so hard for you," Vera said after a brief hesitation. "I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to have someone tell you who to marry and to have no control over your life."

Mai was surprised at the empathy that Vera was showing and said so.

"Mai-I've been where you are," Vera said with a sad smile. "Not the forced marriage thing but wanting someone that I couldn't have. Like Kenjiro, he was married but there were no children-thank god. I chased him until he finally gave in and well... let's just say that it wasn't what I thought it would be. He never stopped talking about his wife and how good she was to him. It didn't take me long to realize that he still loved her-he had never stopped loving her. I tried as hard as I could to get him to forget her..."

"But he didn't," Mai said softly.

"No Mai, he didn't," Vera said, "but I held on thinking that all he needed was time to see that I was far better for him than she could ever be."

"What happened?"

"He yanked me aside and told me a few hard facts of his life. The thing was; he didn't do it in private. He humiliated me in front of the other students in my class. He made it seem like I was some lovesick puppy and that he had done everything possible to dissuade me. By the time he was done, I looked like the village idiot who was stalking a married man and he came out of it smelling like a rose. I was not only heartbroken; I was hurt and the topic of conversation for weeks.

I know that Kenjiro has spoken to you-yes that got around too but no one knows what he said. He's distanced himself from you-Mai-that should tell you something. I don't know him well enough to say whether he would humiliate you in front of others-somehow I doubt it, but do you want to find out? If you don't want to marry the man that your father picked out for you then don't, but find someone else to fall for and leave Kenjiro alone."

"Maybe it will work for us," Mai said. "Maybe I can make him forget her..."

"You aren't listening!" Vera exclaimed exasperated. "What will you do when he calls her name while you're making love? That's what happened to me on more than one occasion and it hurt like hell. What will you do when he won't stop talking about the things that they did together? And do you seriously think that he's going to forget about his children? Mai- open your fucking eyes! The man doesn't want you! Even I can see that!"

The door opened and an intern walked in ending their discussion. Mai heard what Vera said, but she wasn't listening.

****

Kenji got to the cafeteria early and bought something for breakfast that he could take to his room. On his way back, he stopped and called Patricia.

"Good morning Kirei, did you sleep well?"

"I slept ok... I missed you pulling the sheets though," she replied laughing.

"Me? I thought that was you," Kenji teased back. "Kirei I have something that I need to discuss with you over lunch. Do you have time to make sandwiches for us? I want to talk about this privately."

"Is there something wrong?" Patricia asked thinking about Mai.

"No Kirei, all is well. It's just that we have a decision to make regarding our future plans."

"I'll pack a lunch," Patricia said. "Where should I meet you?"

"In the lobby and by the way, Mai is no longer on the night rotation. I don't know what happened, but I am pleased."

"Me too... Niko wants to say goodbye before he goes to school."

Kenji spoke to Niko and then Marie before hanging up and going to his room. He took a quick shower and ate his breakfast while he read through his notes from the night and studied for the boards. Before he knew it, it was time for lunch.

****

While Patricia waited for Kenji, she thought about what they needed to discuss. She decided that whatever it was, it couldn't be bad. For one, he didn't sound upset and two- he wouldn't give her bad news at the hospital- he would have come home. That left something good-it had to be. As she waited, she watched a group of interns walk by taking note of the exhaustion on their faces. In a few years that would be her with that look on her face and she couldn't wait. She still wanted to study neurology- she still wanted to know if anything could have been done for Ralph and others like him. Kenji had encouraged her to do what she wanted but she still hadn't decided.

She frowned when she saw Mai walk by with another woman and wondered if Kenji's news had something to do with her. No she decided, he told her that they were no longer in the same group. She had to admit that she was curious as to what happened. She couldn't see Mai making the decision to change groups on her own. She watched Mai and the other woman walk in the direction of the cafeteria and was glad that Kenji had asked her to pack them a lunch.

"Ohayo-hello Kirei," Kenji said as he bent down and kissed her cheek.

"Ohayo-Kenji you haven't been to sleep yet have you?"

"No," Kenji replied giving her a sheepish grin. "I was studying and lost track of time."

"Kenji..."

"I know and I promise to take a nap after we have lunch and talk."

Kenji led her to the cafeteria bought them drinks before leading her outside where there were several tables. They sat at the one furthest away from the entrance and ate lunch.

"Thank you Kirei, that was so much better than the dry sandwiches here."

"You're welcome so what's the big secret?"

Patricia listened as Kenji told her about the conversation with Dr. Vincente.

"So you see," Kenji said, "it will add almost another two years to my residency."

"Do you want to do it?" Patricia asked.

"I don't know although the idea does intrigue me, but what I want is your input. This decision affects you and the children."

"I think... I think that you should do what's going to make you happy. If you want to switch to surgery then I'm behind you."

"I will only be one of many that will be recommended," Kenji said. "There is no guarantee that I will be chosen."

"So why not go for it then?" Patricia asked. "If you're the one that's selected then it's supposed to be."

By the end of lunch the decision had been made.

"I need to get going and you need to get some sleep," Patricia said as she gathered up the trash from lunch.

"You still have a little time," Kenji said looking at her wistfully and taking her hand. "Don't go yet."

Patricia stopped what she was doing and looked at him.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Kenji replied. "I was just thinking of how fortunate I am to have a wife such as you. I hear the others talk about their wives and it is usually less than complimentary. They are all anxious for their husbands to graduate so that they can begin to make more money than what we are being paid. Thank you for being who you are and for staying by my side."

"Where else would I be?" Patricia asked smiling at him. "I just hope that I don't become one of those wives that get talked about in less than complimentary terms."

"That will never happen," Kenji said his expression serious.

"I hope not-so what happened with Mai?"

"I don't know nor am I concerning myself with it," Kenji replied. "Will you have lunch with me again on Thursday? We can then go home together."

"Sounds like a plan, now go get some sleep."

Kenji walked Patricia to the front lobby and kissed her cheek.

"I will talk to you later tonight. Kiss the children for me."

Kenji watched Patricia walk away and then turned to go inside. Mai was waiting for him.

"Hello Kenjiro-how are you?"

"Dr. Kabata, how are you?" Kenji asked careful to keep his tone impersonal.

Mai blinked... Dr. Kabata? What had happened to calling her by her given name? She glanced back at Vera who had the "I told you so' look on her face, but still she persisted.

"Did you have a pleasant holiday?"

"Yes, if you will excuse me, I need to prepare for tonight."

Kenji walked away not liking the fact that he had been so blunt, but he knew that it had to be that way. He had seen something in Mai's eyes and he couldn't give her the slightest glimmer of hope that they could ever be more than colleagues. Being friends was no longer an option.

Mai watched in bewilderment as Kenji walked away. Had her father said something to him? That would explain it but unfortunately, she had no way of finding out without asking either him or her father directly. It didn't occur to her that Kenji was deliberately choosing to be cool toward her- she just wasn't thinking.

Vera stood back helplessly watching her friend throw herself at a man who obviously didn't want her. She had done what she could. It looked as if Mai was going to find out the hard way just as she had.

****

Kenji's shifts passed quickly. He waited until the end of his last shift to talk to Dr. Vincente about his decision.

"Good! I was so sure that you'd say yes that I already gave my recommendation. Is your wife alright with this?"

"We have discussed it and she supports me," Kenji replied. "When can I expect an answer?"

"As you know there are several candidates," Vincente replied. "Each of you will meet with Dr. Coleman and then he'll decide. Personally, I think he'd be a fool not to choose you... good luck."

Kenji went to his room to pack and to wait for Patricia so that they could have lunch together and then go home. He hadn't seen Mai since they last spoke and hoped that she finally got the message. He was studying for boards when he heard a tap on his door. Thinking that it was Robert arriving early, he opened the door.

Mai.

"I want to know if my father spoke to you," she said before Kenji could say anything.

Kenji stepped outside of the room and closed the door behind him but not before Mai saw the pictures of Patricia and the children on the wall. She now knew what Kenji was looking at whenever he opened his notebook.

"Why are you here?" Kenji asked his tone cool.

"I want to know if my father has spoken to you," Mai replied.

"Why would he speak to me?" Kenji asked confused. "I do not know your father."

"You have been almost rude to me for the past few weeks and I want to know why. I thought that perhaps my father had something to do with it."

"I have not spoken to your father," Kenji said. "My almost rudeness as you call it is for another reason."

Mai looked around to see if anyone was listening before she spoke.

"May I come in? I think that we have a misunderstanding..."

"No you may not come in," Kenji interrupted. "I do not want you or anyone else to get the wrong impression. Dr. Kabata, I feel led to explain to you in much stronger terms than before that I am a married man. I love my wife and my children too much to dishonor them. I have no romantic feelings for you or any other woman. The only woman that I want to share my bed with is my wife. I plan to grow old with my Kirei and watch our children have children- do you understand? There is no possibility that I will ever leave them. I must ask-no tell you to turn your attention elsewhere."

Mai felt as though she had been slapped. Her face burned with embarrassment and anger. She looked around when she thought she heard someone. She wanted no one to witness her humiliation. She looked up at Kenji and didn't see the gentleness that was usually in his eyes. What she saw bordered on anger with a touch of pity.

"I hope that we will not have to talk about this again," Kenji said as he opened the door to his room, stepped inside and closed it in her face.

Mai stood in front of the closed door in disbelief. She whipped around when she heard a door close. Someone had heard the entire thing. She slunk away from the door wondering who had heard the conversation between her and Kenji and how long before the entire hospital would hear about it. She went into a bathroom, washed her face and tried to regain some semblance of control. If she appeared upset it would only invite questions from her father and Ani.

****

Shotaro opened the door to the apartment to let Sharon in while he carried in their luggage. She was already exploring the kitchen when he came back.

"What do you think?" he asked hugging her from behind.

"I think that I like it," she replied turning in his arms, "and I love you."

"I love you too," Shotaro said. He found it strange at how easily the words rolled from his lips. Before Sharon he never would have said those words. It would have been implied. With her he found that he had a sense of humor and that he relaxed. At the hospital, he had been aloof, curt and often considered rude but she had changed that too. He was still aloof but much more relaxed and quicker to laugh. When asked about the change, he only smiled.

His stomach clenched at what he was about to do, but it had to be done. He had no idea of what consequences if any Mai would have to pay, but this is what she wanted too. Even if she had changed her mind, it would change nothing. He wasn't going to marry her.

"I could go with you," Sharon said kissing his cheek.

"No, I need to do this alone and all of the stress is not good for you or the baby."

"I'm not made of glass," Sharon retorted. "What's the worst that they could do to me? Call me names? In case you've forgotten-I'm used to that."

"I haven't forgotten and that is why I want you to stay here," Shotaro said hugging her closer. "There is no need for you to go through that."

Sharon looked at Shotaro who wasn't much taller than she was inches at five feet six inches and searched his face. She was worried. She was worried that when it came down to it, he wouldn't be able to walk away from family and tradition. She began to mentally prepare herself for the fact that she would have to share him.

"Sharon-I will be back so try not to worry," Shotaro said stroking the side of her face.

He loved the feel of her skin against his and wished that he didn't have to leave. But the sooner he left, the sooner he would be back. The sooner he could take her to bed and sample the taste of her light brown skin-skin that had been the source of mistreatment for her. Her mother was a white woman and her father black. Her father was one of the many men who died loading explosives on a ship during the "Port Chicago disaster" in 1944. With no place else to go and no way to support their daughter, her mother had gone back home to her family in Boston. Sharon had been sketchy on the details, but Shotaro got the picture.

He gave her a kiss and then released her. The cool, aloof Shotaro was back to do what needed to be done. It was then that Sharon stopped being afraid. He was coming back to them.

*****

Mai paced her room like a caged lioness. The feeling of being trapped grew with each passing moment. Shotaro had arrived and was on his way to finalize the plans for the wedding. Suddenly she had the overwhelming need to vomit. She grabbed the nearest trash can and vomited the lunch that her father insisted that she eat. For the briefest of moments she considered killing herself. She was still hurt over the way that Kenji had spoken to her and now Shotaro was coming. It made things all too real. Just as she was debating, her father tapped on her door.

"Come out, Shotaro is here."

She took a deep shaky breath and blinked back tears. She took a sip of water, swished it around in her mouth and then spit it out. Taking another deep breath and saying goodbye to the life she wanted, she went to the living room.

"Ohayo-hello Shotaro, welcome," she said with a bow.

"Ohayo Mai," he replied with a bow of his own.

Mai looked at him. He was the same cold man that she had seen not long ago. A tear escaped her eye and ran down her cheek. If he noticed, he gave no indication of it. He was a handsome man, and when he smiled; he could be considered gorgeous. Mai had to wonder about the woman that he was in love with. What was she like that she could make him smile?

"Let's sit and finalize the plans for the wedding," her father said. "Ani, please bring the tea."

"Please," Shotaro said softy, "I do not care for tea. I have something to say."

Mai's head snapped up at his tone. Hope leapt into her heart-maybe...

"Please may we sit?" Shotaro asked.

When they were sitting, Shotaro delivered the news.

"Kabata-san, there is no easy way to say what I am going to say except just to say it. I cannot marry Mai. There is another that I love and she carries my child. I cannot and will not dishonor her, Mai or my child by going through with this wedding. I apologize-but..."

Mai's father stared at Shotaro in shock and then disbelief. A moment later, a look of fury was on his face. The veins of temples throbbed as he turned to look at Mai.

"This is your fault!" He screamed at Mai. "You have made no effort to make this pairing work! Instead you set your sights upon a married man! And you!" he said to Shotaro are dishonorable! You have not only dishonored me, you dishonor yourself and your family! You agreed to marry..."

"Excuse me," Shotaro interrupted, "but I agreed to nothing. My family agreed to this marriage. I had no say in the matter just as Mai had no say. This is no more her fault than it is mine."

"What of your parents? Do they know of this?" Mai's father asked angrily. "What will they say of your betrayal?"

"No, but they will know soon," Shotaro replied. "And I have no doubt that they will be as angry if not angrier that you are."

Mai's father swore in Japanese and glared at Mai. It was clear to her that he was holding her solely responsible for what happened. She didn't care as long as it got her out of the marriage.

"Get out Shotaro," he said angrily. "You are no longer welcome in my home and trust that I will be speaking with your father."

"Mai-I am sorry for any distress that this has caused you and regret that I did not speak sooner," Shotaro said as he stood up.

Mai kept her head down to hide her smile. She was free-or so she thought.

A moment later, Shotaro was on his way back to Sharon. He felt pounds lighter. He hadn't realized just how much of a weight the pending marriage to Mai had been. He hadn't realized until he met Sharon how much of his life hadn't been his own. His father had chosen his profession for him, decided what school he should attend- all without asking him what he wanted. Fortunately, he liked being a doctor and was very good at it although his bedside manner was a lot to be desired. Sharon had helped him with that too. Shotaro suddenly realized something and wondered why he hadn't seen it before- he had been unhappy. Had he married Mai... he didn't want to think about it. All he wanted at the moment was to go back to the apartment and begin making plans with Sharon. He would deal with his family later.

****

Mai kept her head down too afraid to look up. She knew that her father would see the look of relief on her face and that would only make things worse.

"You are a disgrace," he said. His voice belied the fury that he felt. "You have dishonored this family..."

"Father I was not the one to break the engagement," Mai reminded him with her head still bowed.

"That is true enough, but did you not approach Shotaro with the idea? Do you deny that you did nothing to find common ground with him?"

Mai's head snapped up. She met her father's angry glare with one of her own.