I Wouldn't Hit You

The next day she was back to ask again.

I told her to leave, I was through with her. "There is no way I want to hit you just get the fuck out."

She left me alone until the divorce hearing and tried to convince the judge that we needed to go to counseling. She had made a mistake and truly loved me. Her presentation was full of lies, all under oath. The presentation was eloquent and well planned. Elwood was called and unwillingly testified on her behalf. The judge was almost convinced.

Then the judge asked for our presentation for divorce due to infidelity. Norman presented the judge with a BEST OF package and told him that there was over 320 hours of video, 15,000 pages of documentation about her stealing my money, vehicles, equipment and Mom and Dad's antique furniture. He explained how all of those things had been recovered and placed into secure storage, or accounts frozen. He went into detail as to how she planned to not make the loan payments so my farm would be repossessed.

The judge decided in our favor the next day. He was no longer convinced. Mary Jo and Elwood were held over and charged with perjury.

The next day when she was released to her parents' custody I was there to see her leave the jail.

She tried everything she could do to get me to hit her; the police were watching the entire thing. When she tried to hit me I grabbed her hands and held them still.

I told her "There is no way I will hit you. I'm not that kind of guy."

She felt a tap on her shoulder; I let her go and she turned to see who wanted to talk to her. As she turned a hard fist hit her in the right eye, followed by hits to the left eye and her nose. Her nose was pumping blood all over the place. She looked up after the punching stopped to see Cindy Lou waiting for a reason to continue.

I spoke up again, "I wouldn't hit you," and I paused just the right amount for effect "but, my girlfriend, she just might."

Cindy Lou and I kissed and turned to walk down the sidewalk, away from the group standing there with their mouths hanging open.

Epilog

Cindy Lou moved in with me that night. We waited until our wedding night for our first sexual contact.

The first time I saw her naked was no accident on her part. It was just a quick glimpse, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I think I stepped on my tongue as I turned to walk out of the room later.

The first time we made love I was sure I had gone to heaven.

We have been together now for almost 2 years we have twin boys and another litter on the way. I guess that proves I was not "...the problem."

Before we married she presented me with a prenuptial agreement; it was signed, sealed and in triplicate. I framed one and placed it over the gate to the manure pit.

Mary Jo was not invited to the wedding; we did send her a video of the proceedings. She is now serving 6 to 24 months for perjury.

Cindy Lou told her sister to stay at least 1000 feet away from us or there will be a repeat performance.

Thelma Marie says she can always return to be the nail girl at the Happy Heads Saloon.

Elwood, or Nickel Dick as he is known in town, served his time and was disowned by his father. He left for parts unknown

Erl is supremely happy with the second love of his life. Amy knows his first true love was Norman's mother and she is happy it is that way. Their baby girl was delivered by "C" section.

Bob finally found his perfect love. Thelma Marie is very happy with him. She presented him with a prenuptial agreement also. He was surprised to find a 45 year old virgin on their wedding night. They have done their best to resolve that problem. He has the best looking hair around, for a bald man.

Norman says he is thinking of changing his name to Fantastic Sunshine; after all everyone around these parts who is worth anything has 2 names.

There should be a divider above this point. If it goes away pretend it is there.

Enjoy it, hate it, it doesn't really matter. Be polite, or I reserve the right to persecute you to the fullest.

Yes I did mean to type saloon in the 4th from the last paragraph.

I am working on copying a story that was written sometime in the late 1960's. The working title is currently "My Father's Story."

It was found in his things after my mother died. I am working slowly and carefully to edit out most of the typos in the rough draft as well as a few references to one of the characters being too young for this site. More info on how it came to be, along with the story.