Ice Heart Ch. 04

*Disclaimer: Any persons engaging in any sexual activity are at least eighteen years of age.

*

It seemed to be an unspoken agreement; she would continue to live upstairs, right above him, even though she spent nearly every moment he was home in his apartment. She would lug Christopher Michael downstairs in the bassinet he'd bought for the baby the moment she heard the motorcycle roar up and be waiting for him, smiling widely.

Inside his apartment, he'd kiss her and hold her and murmur words of love in her ear. If the baby was awake, he'd play with the baby and fuss over the baby, and then he'd cook their dinner while she told him about her day, or he'd talk about his.

She'd feed Christopher Michael in front of him, making sure he could see her breasts, could see that they were still nice and full.

After dinner, they would sit and watch television; he'd mounted a LCD television on the wall between the kitchen and the bathroom. Then, at around ten or so, he'd 'kick her out' of his apartment so that he could get some sleep.

Then she'd lug Christopher Michael upstairs, lay him down in the crib that Cris had bought for the baby, lie down in her bed, and cry herself to sleep.

She told him she loved him. Said out loud, "Cris, I love you," and he had smiled and hugged her and kissed her and told her 'Thank you.'

Why didn't he love her?

Every time she left his apartment, he wanted to tell her "Don't leave yet," but let her go.

He was twice her age and knew he had nothing to offer the beautiful girl. Why she chose to waste her evenings with him was a complete mystery to him. But he was glad she did.

When she'd told him she loved him, he wanted to tell her he loved her and loved Christopher Michael with all of his heart, but resisted the urge. He would have just been making a fool of himself.

And after Ann Marie and Nickie, he wasn't in any rush to make a fool of himself again.

"And there's no fool like an old fool," he thought to himself grimly.

The windows of her apartment were frosted over with the cold November air. He looked up at her kitchen window and smiled widely; she'd written 'I Love U' inside a heart in the condensation.

He saw her waving to him and waved back.

****

Danny smiled tightly as Cindy excitedly ran around buying 'Santa Claus' gifts for the baby and for her daughter. They'd not had Alicia at their home for four Christmases and Cindy was not going to have a fifth one slip by without her baby girl there.

Part of him was relieved; for three years, he thought she might be dead. It had been a tearful moment when he'd heard that she was indeed alive and actually living only a few miles away. Then he found out she was living with a black man. Thankfully, the baby wasn't black.

She was a tattooed, toothless freak now, though and she had an illegitimate baby.

Maybe it would have been better if she had died.

But at least the baby was white.

He looked up and saw Webster 'Buddy' Webb enter the bank. Buddy and Alicia had gone to Cabrini High School together; Buddy had been Alicia's date for the Senior Prom.

"Hi Mr. Scandurro," the boy said politely.

****

"I'm sorry," Ann Marie sobbed as Nicole wiped her mouth.

"About what?" Nicole asked, squeezing her mother's hand.

"I can't even feed myself," Ann Marie sobbed.

"It's all right," Fred said, his eyes watering.

"And I won't get to see my new grandbaby," Ann Marie sobbed."

Bo, but he knows you love him," Fred said.

"Her," Nicole corrected. "It's a 'her.'"

"Nuh uh!" Fred childishly argued.

"Oh shut up," Nicole laughed at her husband's antics.

"Make me," Fred challenged.

"Can't, I already went to the bathroom," Nicole shot back.

Nicole smiled; Ann Marie was smiling at the two of them playfully bickering.

"Okay, where? Bed or..?" Fred asked.

"Bed," Ann Marie said and Fred lifted her and gently lay her down on the hospital bed he'd bought and installed in their living room.

"Okay, got a treat for you," he said and turned on the television for her.

He popped in a disc and Ann Marie watched her daughter, Sophia, sitting in a chair, a book in her lap. She was signing to Freddy, who lay in his crib, watching intently.

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair,' Sophia signed dramatically then looked back at the book for the next line.

"Oh my God," Ann Marie gasped as she watched her three year old daughter reading a book and signing.

Fred had edited in a soft piano concerto to give sound to the otherwise silent tableau.

"She's reading him a story," Fred said proudly. "Can you believe? She's only three, and she's reading a bedtime story to him!"

"And I think we all know who taught her to read," Nicole said proudly ass she held Ann Marie's hand.

"That is so beautiful," Ann Marie whispered as she watched Sophia sign the story to her nephew.

"She read the whole book to him," Fred said as they watched the little blonde sit and read and sign.

****

Alicia wiped the tears away and closed the lid on the last box her mother had brought over. Not having much, it didn't take long to pack.

"Ready?" Cindy smiled happily and Alicia nodded her head yes.

Danny wouldn't be happy, Cindy knew, but Cindy didn't care. Like it or not, Alicia was their daughter and their daughter belonged home with her family. So did their grandson.

Normally, Cindy gave in to his wishes, docilely let him make all the decisions, but not this time. This time she was putting her foot down.

Alicia looked at the door of Apartment 1 and felt a huge lump form in her throat.

She had thought he loved her, but he never said it.

She had thought Uncle Tony loved her, but he was just using her. When he was through with her, he just dumped her, like a used tissue.

She had thought Jimbo loved her, but he just used her, then let all of his friends use her, then dumped her like a used tissue.

Tiny Tim had actually tried to kill her by shoving her out of a moving truck.

So, maybe it was better that she leave now, before Cris dumped her like a used tissue. She had a baby to think about now.

She pasted a smile on her face and opened the outer door to the apartment building.

****

He waited for her to come down, then finally went upstairs to see what the delay was.

He felt an icy chill descend over him as he looked around the apartment. Then he felt blackness come over him.

It seemed like hours later when he came to and groggily pulled himself off of the floor. He looked around again. The lumpy bed, the flimsy chest of drawers, and the frayed couch were still there, but every thing else was gone. All of Christopher Michael's clothes and toys and his crib and stroller and car seat, all gone.

And she hadn't even told him good bye. She'd told him she loved him, but she didn't bother to tell him good bye.

Dully, he returned downstairs, ate his dinner, then climbed back upstairs and began cleaning the apartment, getting it ready to rent to the next tenant.

****

Danny set his jaw tightly as his daughter, his tattooed, toothless freak, entered the kitchen, lugging the little bastard with her. He bit back his angry retort as his wife cheerfully, loudly greeted Alicia and Christopher Michael.

Abruptly, he got to his feet and stalked out of the room.

Alicia's eyes filled with tears as she heard the front door slam. If Cindy noticed, she did not let on as she kept up the cheerful nonsensical monologue with her grandson.

****

Sandra set the cup of coffee down on the desk; she could hear Cris's private shower running. Both he and Sweet William had run another five mile run, in the frigid December air.

"Don't come crying to me when you both come down with pneumonia," she had said when the two men strode briskly into the lobby, fully drenched in sweat.

She turned to leave his office, and then heard the unmistakable sound of sobbing.

She rushed out of his office, her own eyes filling with tears.

"It's your own damned fault, Michael Christopher Dumas," she muttered. "You let that girl go."

****

Christmas morning came and Ann Marie watched from her bed as Sophia opened her presents and came and showed her everything Santa had brought for her.

Freddy was a typical two years old. He didn't grasp the idea of what was going on, but needed to be in the center of it all.

"And do you know why we get presents?" Fred signed and asked aloud of the two children.

"Jesus loves me," Sophia signed in response.

"That's right; you're such a smart little girl," Fred praised.

"You feeling all right, Momma?" Nicole asked, looking adorable in her red sleep shirt and red Santa cap.

"Yeah," Ann Marie lied and smiled.

****

Danny seethed as his daughter smiled and fussed over the baby and all of the damned presents Cindy got for the kid. He loved his daughter, loved his grandson and if he had been asked, would not have been able to explain the anger he felt in his heart.

And she wore that locket, the locket that her creepy old boyfriend had given her.

Danny smiled tightly as his daughter thanked him for the new clothes. The old guy hadn't called ever since Cindy had brought their daughter home.

Bobby whooped and thanked him for the Sony Playstation II; now that had been a real bitch to find. All of the stores in a two hundred mile radius had been sold out; he had to go all the way to New Orleans to grab one.

****

Cris smiled as he looked at the silly Christmas Card Sandra had sent him. It showed Sandra and Jimmy and their children and their two mutts in front of their Christmas tree.

"Perfect," he smiled and put it down again.

Sweet William's card wished him a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and Sweet William had unashamedly signed the card 'Love.'

"Takes a real man do that," Cris smiled.

He locked the apartment and took his suitcase to the waiting cab.

"Where you going?" the cab driver asked as he drove toward Lafayette, toward Lafayette's airport.

"Las Vegas," Cris said.

"Oh? Christmas with the family there?" the cab driver asked, not really interested.

"No, thank God, no family," Cris smiled tightly.

****

She watched the disc again and let the tears fall freely. Sophia sat and read 'Sleeping Beauty' to her nephew. Fred had edited the disc, cutting in soft piano concertos, soothing backdrop to an otherwise silent scene. He had selected a different piece of ,music for each of the discs he'd made.

"And they lived happily ever after," Sophia signed and closed the book with a definitive 'thump.'

"One more," Freddy demanded and signed to his Aunt Sophia.

"Time go sleep," she signed back firmly.

"Yes ma'am, Miss Bossy," Ann Marie smiled as the disc faded to black.

****

"Pilot," Sandra said as she answered the phone.

"Miss Sandra? This is Nicole," Nicole said into the phone, voice cracking.

"Nicole, what's wrong?" Sandra asked, concerned.

"My momma's in the hospital; Dr. Welman doesn't think she'll..." Nicole said then began to sob, loud, wailing sobs.

"Huh," Was Cris's response when Sandra told him of the phone call.

"SO, when you going to visit her?" Sweet William asked as they ran alongside the highway.

"Not," Cris said, continuing the frenzied pace Sweet William had set for them.

"What? Not, What? You kidding, right?" Sweet William stuttered.

"Nope," Cris said. "We ain't married, why should I visit her?"

He slowed as he realized Sweet William wasn't running alongside him, then looked around. Sweet William was standing several yards behind, shaking his head in disbelief. He turned and ran back.

"I just don't, mother fucker, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Sweet William yelled, exasperated. "Yeah, she shit on you, yeah it hurt, but God damn! The woman is dying!"

"And?" Cris said. "Look, I'm not happy about it, but I don't see any reason..."

"Son of a bitch, you better hope and pray me and Sandra outlive you," Sweet William said as he turned and began to walk back to the office. "That's all I got to say, you better hope we outlive you so at least two people show up for your funeral. Fucking shame you going to have to pay four more people carry your coffin."

****

She was in no pain, just felt an unbelievable weariness. Her fingers clutched the rosary; it had been hers when she was a little girl. She couldn't feel the beads, but it gave her a sense of comfort, knowing that it was in her hand.

"Hi," Cris said softly.

"Cris?" she whispered in disbelief.

"I heard, I heard you weren't doing too well," he said as he looked into her brown eyes.

"I'm dying," she said simply.

"That's what I heard," he agreed. "I'm sorry."

"Cris?" she asked.

"Yes Ann Marie?" he asked.

"I know, I know I don't have the right to ask, but..." she said slowly, labored.

"Anything," he promised her.

"Cris, please, please forgive me," she begged.

"I do," he said. "I do forgive you," he promised her and she smiled happily.

She felt his lips touch hers and for a moment felt contented.

"Thank you, Cris," she said.

"I uh, I need you to forgive me too," he mumbled. "I um, I been a real..."

"I'm sorry," Ann Marie whispered. "If you were anything, it's because I made you that way."

"Forgiven?" he asked and she nodded her head yes.

"Nicole," she suddenly said, urgently. "Cris, please, please help our, help your daughter. She's, she's not the same person she was before. Please, promise me, you'll take care of her."

"I will," he promised.

They talked for a few moments longer. She fell asleep; all energy drained from her. He touched her face softly then left her room.

She heard the soft piano concerto playing and in her mind's eye, she could see her daughter, her beautiful, brave daughter signing 'Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair.'

"Thank she can hear that?" Nicole sniffed back the tears as she peered down at her mother.

""I think so," Fred said and gently touched his mother in law's hand.

****

Buddy hadn't changed a bit since High School graduation. He was still immature, still arrogant, self-centered, and presumptive.

It was all the reasons she had not wanted to go to the Senior Prom with him and all the reasons there never had been a second date. But Daddy liked him and he did seem to like Christopher Michael, although he insisted on calling the boy 'Cris' or 'Crissy.'

"It's Christopher Michael," she muttered again as Buddy showed them around the Baylor Lake cabin he and his family owned.

She smiled as she looked over the lake; the spring was absolutely her favorite time of the year and the lake was beautiful. Her smile showed off the new implants Daddy had gotten for her.

"And we can dive right off the deck," Buddy said and leaned over the railing to show her; it did extend out over the water's edge.

"Oh, I really don't think I want to wear a bathing suit," Alicia said quickly.

"Aw, afraid people will think you're fat?" Buddy laughed.

"No," Alicia said, scowling darkly.

Her body was just fine; she'd managed to lose almost all the pounds carrying Christopher Michael had put on her small frame. It was the myriad of obscene tattoos she still sported that had her balking at wearing a bathing suit.

"Or we could go skinny dipping," Buddy suggested with a smirking leer.

"Uh huh," Alicia said, rolling her eyes. "Whatever."

She fixed a simple lunch, fixed them both a green salad and brought it to the table. Buddy sat and waited, waited for her to fix the meal without offering to help. Then he left the plate on the table, left it there for her to pick up.

"Whew!" he commented as Christopher Michael soiled his diaper.

Alicia waited for a count of five to see if Buddy would offer to help change the boy's diaper.

Cris had made no objections to changing the boy's diaper, even when it was a poop diaper. Cris had made no objections to anything, especially made no objections to serving her.

But Daddy didn't like Cris. Daddy had not liked Tony and Tony had abandoned her. He hadn't liked Jimbo and Jimbo used her and tossed her aside. Maybe Daddy was right; maybe Buddy was what she needed.

They sat on the deck and watched the setting sun paint the water.

"Careful," she whispered as he groped her heavy breasts. "I'm breast feeding."

Her body reacted to the clumsy gropes and she kissed him.

"Aw, what?" he spat when she pushed his hand away from her crotch. "It ain't like you a fucking virgin!"

"Don't mean I'm ready for THAT," she said firmly.

****

He had been shocked when he'd seen Ann Marie, lying in her hospital bed. The last time he had seen her, she was young, vibrant, and almost haughty as she clung onto Tom Sampo's arm.

Cris fixed himself a drink and went out onto his back porch to watch the setting sun. The wicker furniture was much more comfortable than it looked and he sat down and sipped the gin and vermouth.

Her face was gaunt, the skin almost paper-thin on her cheeks.

"Sweet William, you son of a bitch, you were right," he said out loud.

She had begged his forgiveness. He realized he did forgive her. She had asked him to help Nicole, and had asked him to help Fred. She told him that Fred was as fine a man as he'd ever hope to meet and deserved a helping hand; his income was mighty meager to be supporting two children and a third on the way and a stay at home wife and a sick mother in law. But Fred never complained, never grumbled. If he worried, he did not bother his wife, or his mother in law with those concerns.

"He's a great teacher," Ann Marie had croaked out. "Sophia? She's only three, and she's reading. And she knows what she's reading."

"Sounds like a smart little girl," Cris smiled.

"Oh, God, Cris, you have no idea," Ann Marie smiled.

The nineteen year old girl that lived in the house behind his came out onto her deck, pretending not to see him there.

Cris watched as the overweight girl made a production out of lathering up her flabby body with sun tan lotion then untied the top of her bikini and flashed her breasts at him. Then she lay down, the wooden fence now obscuring her from view. He smiled and shook his head at her antics.

He did not kid himself; she was not flashing him in the hopes of enticing him; she was flashing him for her own gratification. Later that evening, she would parade back and forth in her bedroom, curtains wide open, light on.

"Some people are just like that," he said and got to his feet, his gin and vermouth now empty.

****

"So?" Danny asked as Alicia and Christopher Michael came into the house. "How'd it go?"

Cindy elbowed her husband.

"It was fine," Alicia shrugged. "His parents have a nice place out on the lake."

"Stop it," Cindy hissed to her husband.

"What?" Danny asked. "I can't ask how my daughter's date went."

"Uh huh," Cindy said, not fooled by Danny's pretense of being concerned.

****

Father Dave patted the woman's hand in a comforting gesture, then began administering the Last Rites.

"Go in peace, my child," he said to Ann Marie.

He stepped out into the hospital corridor and smiled at Nicole, Freddy and Sophia.

'Hi,' he signed to Sophia.

"Hi, Father Dave," she answered and smiled back.

"Okay, that's all the sign language I know," he laughed as he signed 'I love you' to the girl.

"That's plenty," Nicole said. "More than most people know."

"See y'all this Sunday?" he asked

"Should, unless..." Nicole agreed.

****

Cris walked upstairs to his bedroom and looked out of the window. Sure enough, the girl was parading around in her bedroom, towel carelessly draped around her plump body. Occasionally, she'd 'carelessly' flip the corner up, exposing a good portion of her dark pubic curls to his gaze.

He'd bought the house just after New Year's Eve. When he returned from Las Vegas and let himself into his apartment, the emptiness suddenly overwhelmed him. January second, he called a real estate agency and asked to look at houses in either Bender or DeGarde. They found the house on January fourth and he made an offer on the spot.