Identity Ch. 04: Chet's Journal

The finale to Chet's story, written from his point of view. Looks like we finally have some insight on his thoughts. P.s. This story is merely fiction. Practice safe sex. ;) Have fun reading.

*****

February 14, 2008

"Hey, Chet baby. I have something for you." Asato leaned down to kiss me on the lips, which was rebuffed by a quick turn of my head. He shot me an exasperated look.

"What is it this time? You're sulking again."

I shrugged. "If you don't like it, why bother with me? Just date one of those babes in your group. They're stuck to you 24/7, anyway."

He raised an eyebrow. "Come on, Chet. I've never cheated on you, so what are you jealous about? It's not as though I call them to accompany me as part of my entourage."

I scoffed at him. "Yeah? Well, you don't exactly discourage their advances either, do you? Whatever. I'm out of here. Go fuck one of them whores, like I give a shit." I picked up my book bag and left the shady spot under the tree, heading towards the college's parking lot.

He was right, though. I was jealous. I wasalwaysjealous.

Good-looking, popular and smart. That's what Asato was. It was unfair that he was nice to boot, and was a model. His mom was some celebrity fashion designer, whereas I...I was the nobody. The bespectacled nerd that no one paid attention to, although my six-foot frame drew unwanted attention sometimes. It was difficult not to feel so insecure when everybody wanted a piece of my boyfriend.

I turned the key in the ignition. The engine started, then died.

"Fuck this lousy antique!" I cursed. After the fifth try, it finally revved to life. This car was fucking ancient. I think it belonged in my Great Grandfather's time.

I drove off the college grounds, ignoring some cat-calls aimed at my dusty, beaten-up vehicle. The only reason some of the popular kids even bothered acknowledging me was because of Asato. Not that I cared about them in the slightest.

I parked the car in the garage and proceeded to head up to my room.

"Honey, your friend is here! Why don't you bring some of these freshly-baked cookies up with you?" My mom looked positively thrilled that I had a friend coming to visit. And the only person who ever bothered to visit was...

"Mmm, I could smell those cookies from way up here. Thanks, Mrs. White! It's really nice of you." Asato smiled and took the tray of cookies from me, ignoring the irritation on my face.

How the hell did he get ahead of me anyway? Well, he did have a silver Audi, and we all know the outcome of sports car vs old-man car.

I stared at the middle-aged lady who blushed at Asato's charming comment. "Oh, you! I just know young men like you have an appetite for these things. Ialwayslook forward to you visiting us."

He grinned, eyes twinkling with mischief. "So do I, Mrs. White. Your cookies are the best and you always look younger each time I visit," and accompanied that with a wink, sending her into a fit of girlish giggles.

I rolled my eyes and climbed the stairs. Don't get me wrong; my mom ishappilymarried but that rogue could probably charm the pants off anyone, middle-aged or not.

Asato nudged the door open with his left foot, juggling the tray plus refreshments, newly added, it seemed. I looked over at the gorgeous Japanese male munching cookies on my bed and shook my head, most of my anger dissipated.

"You'll never starve. If you're ever homeless, just head towards the nearest house, knock, flash that charm of yours andvoila!Food."

He looked up at me and smiled. "Not mad anymore? Good. Oh yeah, I came over to give you the thing I'd wanted to give you before." He reached into his bag and handed me a wrapped box.

"Open it."

Puzzled, I took it from him. "What's this for?"

He blinked at me. "Duh. It's Valentines Day today."

"What? Oh. Oh, yeah. I guess it is. I, uhm, forgot." I'd never gotten anything for Valentines Day before, unless you counted chocolate cookies from my mom. It was only about 10 months ago that I'd started dating Asato, and I still wasn't used to gift-giving on special occasions.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I can tell." Before I could apologize for not getting him anything, he placed a finger on my lips to shush me up. "It's not too late for a present."

"Sure. Anything you want in particular?"

Asato grinned at me. "Yep, but open my gift first."

I stared at the package in my hands, undid the red bow and tore the wrap. It was a box of Godiva chocolates.

I couldn't resist smiling at him. "Arigatou. I'm addicted to them."

He shook a finger at me."Uh-uh. There's more. Look inside."

I lifted the cover and there were 15 chocolate cubes with a word engraved on each of them.

I.love.you. Will.you.be.my.Valentine? I.promise.to.love.and.cherish.you.

I stared at those words in disbelief. I was happy and touched; a painful lump had formed at the back of my throat as I struggled to say something.

"You like it? I had them custom-made for you," he said softly.

I could barely speak, and didn't trust the tone of my voice. It would probably surface as a squeak. I merely nodded in response.

He reached over, plucked out a cube withcherishinscribed on it and held it before my lips. "Try it.Oishii yo." I opened my mouth and allowed him to plop the chocolate right in. It tasted oh-so-heavenly and melted on my tongue. I bit down on that delicious morsel andcrunch!

I stuck my thumb and forefinger into my mouth, only to retrieve a metal object. Questioningly, I looked at Asato. Solemnly, he extracted the diamond ring from between my fingers and cleaned the chocolate stains with his black Hermès jacket. He lifted my left hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on my inner wrist, sending shivers up my spine, before sliding the ring onto my fourth finger. Deep hazel-brown eyes met mine.

"Be mine. I've never met someone who makes me go crazy the way you do."

My reply was a passionate kiss as I pressed him down onto the satin sheets. I loved him and he loved me. There was only one problem; although we'd been dating for about a year, we hadn't had sex yet because both of us wanted to top.

Today was special. I planted kisses and nips all over his neck until he chuckled. "Yamete yo, Chet. It tickles."

"Hontou? And here I thought it was supposed to be arousing." I smiled at my sexy Asato, lying there on my bed with clothes disheveled. I reached into my cabinet, pulled out a scarf and proceeded to blindfold him with it.

Laughter filled the air as he grinned mischievously at me. "Nani koré?I didn't know you could be so...kinky." He patted the blindfold carefully over his eyes. "What's next? Just don't whip me, Master."

"Wait a while. I'll be back." I disappeared into the bathroom and emerged again 10 minutes later.

"Alright, you can take it off now."

Asato's grin immediately faded when the scarf fell from his eyes. He gaped at me, eyes wide and mouth hanging open in a comical fashion.

The red bow from the box of chocolates was neatly tied at my neck. It was the only scrap of material on my otherwise nude body, with the exception of my ring.

Nervously, I tugged at the ribbon at my neck. "Happy Valentines Day." I started to panic that perhaps this was a bit overmuch.

"Damn. You can really read my mind." Asato raked a hand through his hair and averted his gaze, breathing unsteadily. "For a minute there, I almost wanted to just throw you to the bed and fuck you senseless."

"It's still not too lat-"

He interrupted me by pulling me towards him. Losing balance, I fell forward and realized that I was sitting on his lap, astride him. He leaned close to lick the sensitive spot under my ear, before tugging off the red ribbon at my neck with his teeth. "I kind of like this gift, and position," he chuckled at my wilting glare.

My hands touched those wavy locks, before running through them, testing its silky softness. His hands massaged my back in a soothing manner, as we indulged in each other's scents.

Slightly intoxicated, I murmured, "I like the way you smell. What brand is it?"

"Idole d'Armani. I like the way you smell, too. It's kind of sweet, with a hint of vanilla."

I scowled darkly at him. "I don't use cologne. That's my sister's shampoo because I ran out of mine."

He chuckled. "Well. I guess that explains things. I thought you were turning gay on me."

"That makes two of us," I retorted sarcastically.

His hands slid down to cup my ass cheeks before slowly kneading them in his palms, drawing a groan from me. "I guess it does," he agreed.

Fingers reached up to pinch my nipples and I groaned at the sudden sensitivity there. Hazy with want, I chuckled softly. "Funny, I would have thought that they were just for show."

Asato raised an eyebrow. "Well, now you know they aren't." Sensuously, he slid his tongue over a nipple, rubbing over the hardened bud in a back and forth motion, drawing yet another moan from me.

He started to lick and suck at my right nipple, all the while pinching and tugging lightly at the other with his fingers. Breathing hard, I shoved my hand into his pants and was delighted to discover a bulge, and a small, wet stain at the front of his boxers. "Looks like you're really excited."

Quickly, I lowered his boxers and his hard cock sprang free of its constraints, fierce and reddish-looking. It was slightly smaller than my 7-inch cock, but just as thick. I climbed off his lap and ran my tongue down the length of him, pleased when I heard his sharp intake of breath.

Before he could protest, I had him in my mouth as I bobbed my head up and down the length of him, swirling my tongue wherever I could.

"Fuck, that feels good.Sugoi kimochii!"Hands gripped my hair as he lost himself in the waves of pleasure, cock thrusting excitedly into my wet, willing mouth.

I moaned through mouthfuls of hot cock, reaching down to stroke myself, turned on by the wanton sight of my lover.

"Mou, yamete!" Swiftly, he withdrew his cock from between my lips and shoved me roughly to the bed, hurriedly pulling off his shirt as he did so.

I helped him shrug off his trousers past those slender hips. "You didn't like it?" I teased.

Asato smirked down at me. "I liked it too damned much."

He molded his naked body to mine, marking my neck and shoulder with teeth and tongue. I reached down between us and stroked our swollen cocks together, wringing moans from the both of us.

Struggling for composure, he caught my hand in his and kissed it. "Stop. Or I won't be able to go slow."

He picked up a small tube at the edge of the bed and squeezed the lube onto his fingers. I raised myself up on my elbows and watched him. "Where did you get that?"

"Bought it, obviously. From a catalogue." He smiled sheepishly at me. Well, at least he'd been prepared. I was never the type to plan that far ahead.

A finger slid into my hole and instinctively, I tightened around his finger. "Relax, Chet. I'll make you feel good."

With that, he bent his head and sucked on my cock, technique a little sloppy but still loveable nonetheless. I was his first man, although he wasn't my first. Still, I had been practically celibate since I'd met him, and I was now beginning to enjoy the finger pushing in and out of my tight entrance.

"Kitsui ne. It's been awhile since you last used it." Asato added a second finger to the first, and then a third, causing me to groan in pleasure.

"Slow...down, Asato. I haven't used it since...it's been a long time." Despite my mild protests, I found myself fucking back against his fingers, moaning encouragingly into his ear.

I could feel the pleasure slowly building, and I knew that I wanted him inside me. I held his wrist, gradually withdrawing his fingers a little at a time, smiling at his uncertain face.

Reaching down, I slid both hands past my stomach to spread open the tiny bud that he'd been fucking with his fingers mere seconds ago. "Put your cock inside, Asato."

He seemed dazed by the sight before him, and rubbed the tantalizing tip of his swollen cock at my hole, teasing it. I closed my eyes and shuddered, aroused by the feel of his sticky pre-cum smearing my hole, as the hard knob of his cock poked and prodded at my entrance.

Slowly, his thick cock inched in, forcing me to succumb to that delicious pressure. In three strokes, he was steadily fucking me, barely letting me adjust to his size before increasing his pace.

"Fuck! You're so fucking tight!" With gritted teeth, he rammed that hard cock into my hole, balls slapping my ass cheeks with each deep thrust.

By now, I was gripping the bed sheet, hands curled into fists as I watched his cock disappear and emerge repeatedly from my eager hole.

Heady with desire, I urged him on. "Yeah, fuck me! Fuck that hole!"

Obediently, he obliged my commands, but it wasn't enough. I pushed him down, throbbing cock still encased within my ass, as I sat astride him, hands braced on his toned chest.

I rode his cock, taut buttocks lightly smacking his muscled thighs, moaning his name. "Asato, kimochii!"

Breathing irregularly, Asato's hands held my hips steady before thrusting deeply, swollen cock continually fucking up into my ass. I groaned loudly and frantically stroked my aroused cock, nearing completion. "Fuck it, baby! Fuck that tight ass! I'm gonna cum!Ore wa iku!Nnghh!"

Gritting my teeth, I watched as cum flew from my cock, some hitting Asato on the chin but most landing on his chest. Unbelievably aroused by the sight of me cumming, his cock began fucking me in short, quick jabs, desperate for its own release. Encouragingly, I massaged the tight muscles of his abdomen, watching as they contracted in response to the stimulation there.

"Ore mo iku! Iku ne!" He gave one last thrust, cock lodged deep within as hot strings of cum hit my anal walls, drenching my insides. I used my ass muscles to contract around him, milking his cock completely of cum.

I smiled down at my sated lover, a small satisfied smile curling his lips. "Gochisousama deshita." I shifted to the bed, allowing his cum-slick cock to slip out of my aching hole.

He propped himself up on his elbow to look at me. "I think I'm in love with you, so stay with me." He reached over and held my hand, entwining our fingers together. "For a long time."

If only love could be expressed in words. There was simply no explanation, no logic, for how I felt at that moment. "I love you, too. Probably longer than you have."

He snorted at me. "Yeah, right. I was the one who crushed on you first."

I rolled my eyes at his insistence. "No, I liked you the first time I saw you in the cafeteria."

"And I liked you the first time I saw you step out of that dust-bitten vehicle of yours."

"And I liked you when..."

I couldn't remember who won the argument in the end. We were together and happy, and all was right with the world.

December 7, 2008

"Would you stop jumping to conclusions? I wasn't flirting with her!" Asato looked aggravated, undoubtedly pissed off.

I shot him a dry smile. "Oh, and I'm sure her boobs drilling a hole into your arm isn't considered flirting. I'm sure it isn't. You're innocent, and I'm always the bad guy. That's just how things are, right?"

He tried to grab my arm, but I wrenched it free from his grasp. "Look. Heather and I slept together once, that's all. We met at a photo shoot, and that was before I met you, damn it! I havenevercheated on you! How many times do you need me to say it?"

I knew he was right. He was always right. But the green-eyed monster within me refused to disperse. I was disgusted with myself, with how insecure I'd become. I became the clingy, possessive lover that I swore I'd never become, and I loathed how the trust between us had thinned. I knew that I was the cause of it, but I couldn't stop needing him to show how much he cared.

But more than that, I was tired; just so weary of being this person I could no longer recognize.

I looked up him, studying his handsome features for the last time. I observed how exhausted he really seemed, how the fire in those hazel eyes had dimmed. And I knew what had to be done.

I smirked at him. "You know what? I don't want this anymore. I don't want to deal with this shit. Let's break up. You bore me, with all your incessant nagging. I'm just so sick of putting up with your crap." I took my jacket and hesitated at the front door. "Don't come looking for me."

I cut him loose. I had never wanted to become such a burden to him. As I sped up the highway in my old car, I furiously blinked back tears.

"I did the right thing, didn't I?" I exhaled a shaky breath, feeling choked and suffocated. He was the best thing that had happened to me, yet I knew that he deserved far better. He should have been married to a beautiful lady from a prestigious family, living in a house with two mischievous kids, a white picket fence and a Collie.

I had to get out of here, as far away from Asato as possible, or I would waver in my decision. I drove to the airport and bought a flight ticket to Manhattan. My cell phone buzzed for the eighth time and I looked at the caller id, guessing it was Asato again.

"Hey, mom." I paused. "Yeah, I'm alright but I just need to leave Japan for awhile. I'm meeting a friend in Manhattan. I know it's impulsive, but it's just something I have to do. Tell dad I'll be back soon. I don't want him to worry. Take care of yourself while I'm gone, okay? Yeah, I know. Bye."

"Passengers for Flight MT 1021K, kindly begin boarding at Gate D..."

Right before I stepped through the gate, my cell started ringing again. It was Asato. If he needed closure, I'd give it to him.

"Hello, Asato."

"Chet, where the hell are you? I've been calling you countless times! Why didn't you pick up?" He sounded agitated.

I was touched that he still cared enough to call, even after those nasty things I'd said to him. "I didn't see any reason to. I told you it was over."

"Chotto matte yo, Chet.Your mom called me. Don't go, Chet. Don't go to Manhattan. Whatever it is, we'll work things out. You don't want me to hang out with girls? Fine, I won't. Just don't leave me behind."

I steeled myself against his pleas. He sounded so upset; it was never my wish to cause him pain, but now, I was the source of his sadness. "We have to move on, Asato. You're better off without me. I'm just...just dragging you down." I removed my glasses that had stupidly fogged up all of a sudden.

"Chet, baby, listen to me. I love you.Aishiteru. Even if I find another, I will never love her the same way I love you." I could hear his deep, steady voice through the phone.

"Do you understand, Chet? I want to spend my life withyou, not some woman. I want us to go for Starbucks coffee together, take strolls at the park together, and even wash each other's backs when we're old and wrinkled. I'm this much in love with you, so stay with me. Please."

I blinked, clamping down hard on my emotions. "I...I don't know...I don't-" I could barely string a sentence together and was suddenly aware of a little girl staring up at me.

"Mister, why are you crying? Are you in pain?"

I reached up and touched wetness on my cheek. I hadn't even realized that tears had been blurring my vision. All I knew was the sound of Asato's voice and the tumult of emotions warring inside me.

"Chet? Baby? Are you there? Say something. Look, I'm nearing the airport. Don't go, alright? Just stay there and wait for-"

I could hear some screeching noise in the background and my heart stopped. "Asato? Asato! Talk to me!"

There was a loud crash that almost deafened my ear, and then the line went dead.