If I Knew Then... Ch. 06

She was in full flow. Jill motioned me to move, and as Penny talked she manoeuvred her friend around to the head of the bed, and picked the duvet off the floor. I helped, and the two of us got on each side of her and pulled the duvet up.

We each put an arm round her, and she talked on, "Three weeks ago I had never let a boy touch me with clothes on. I never thought of kissing a girl. I mean, never. I never thought of kissing a boy like I just did. Really, never. I mean, I had heard about it. Half of me thought it was just a story, and the other half thought it was disgusting. And here I just did it. I just put your thing in my mouth and sucked it. And I liked it. And you, you came. And it wasn't disgusting. And you kissed me afterwards and you think it isn't disgusting either. And Sean, you kissed me, down there. Twice. And I came. And you put your finger inside me. And Jill, you touched me there and I touched you, and Mike did too, a bit, and you and Mike and Sean have sucked my nipples and, and I sucked yours. And I enjoyed it. All of it. You know I wanted Mike to take my knickers off. I couldn't say why, I just wanted to be naked, bare down there. I wanted a boy to touch me there. I wanted a boy to see me, there."

She looked at Jill "But that was only after he had put his hand there. Before that I never wanted one even to touch me. And I didn't want them to see me. I've seen the other girls in the shower. All pink, and mine is all brown and dark. Like my nipples. It was only after he said, and you said, that they were nice that I thought I wanted someone to see me there, and see if it was alright."

"But you are beautiful darling, all over!" said Jill.

"And delicious too." I added

Penny blushed, but said "And that's another thing. Kissing me there. You, kissed me there. And that was lovely. And you put a finger in me. And it was nice. Lovely, wonderful. But, but I don't know that I should like it."

Jill squeezed her shoulder. "I understand darling. Kissing boys and even letting them play with your nipples is one thing, but when it comes to those bits... It gets serious. You're worried about being a virgin, or not. Being what the girls at school call a slut."

"Uh-huh. I mean, am I. Am I still a virgin?" Penny sounded scared.

Jill squeezed again. "Well, I think it only counts if a boy puts his cock in your pussy."

Penny sucked in a deep breath. "Oh. Yes."

"But I'm not sure that you should be worried about all that nonsense anyway. It's not what you do, it's who you do it with and why and how. Girls who don't even go all the way get known as sluts because they go with lots of boys. They'll do it with anyone. They do it at parties infront of people, or at least they make it obvious what they are going upstairs with a boy for. You aren't like that. You are like me. Okay, we are both horny, we both love sex, we like being naked, kissing, having our pussys kissed and fingers inside us, but that is all natural, and fun. We don't sleep around, we don't use sex to manipulate boys. We don't hurt anyone. We do it in private with people we love. We aren't sluts. Well I don't think we are and I don't think anyone else thinks we are. No-one said anything bad about you and Mike, Have you heard anyone saying anything about me and Sean?"

"No. Nothing bad. All the girls are jealous of course, but no one thinks you are bad at all."

"And you don't think I'm a slut do you?"

Penny was vehement "No!"

Jill smiled but said "Even though you have seen us together? You have seen me suck Sean's cock."

"Yes, but..." Penny protested but fell silent. She thought hard. "But..." she started, and went quiet again. Then after a moment more she said "No. I never thought that, before. And I don't think it now. You love him. You aren't doing it just for fun. It isn't just lust. You do these things because you love him. And he does those things to you because he loves you."

"So that makes it right? I think you are right. Sean and I are in love, and love each other, and we want to share each other. And everything we do is right. And that's why you didn't want to do it with Mike."

Penny hung her head. "But I wanted to do it with Sean. And, and we did things Jill. You and me. Things we shouldn't have done. Dirty things."

Jill puffed up. "Penny Harty, you and I both had showers this morning. Everything we did was perfectly clean."

It worked. Penny laughed. But she was still troubled. "You know what I mean. You know what they say about girls who do that sort of thing together And I shouldn't have done things with Sean, and you shouldn't have let me."

"Why not? You love me don't you?" said Jill.

Penny was stopped in her tracks. Jill smiled. "We have been friends for seven years. I know you better than anyone. You have been with me through everything. If you disappeared tomorrow I would miss you. Forever. I would cry. Lots. I worry about you. And, and now I've kissed you I want to do it again. It's not like how I feel about Sean, but I love you Penny."

Penny was touched. "Oh Jill. Oh I don't know what to do."

Jill hugged her. "You love me, yes?"

"Yes, yes I suppose I do, but it isn't right for girls to kiss and everything."

I joined in. "Why not? Girls are nice to kiss. And everything."

Penny looked at me. "Boys are nice to kiss. Would you kiss a boy?"

"Maybe. If it was the right boy." I shrugged. She was open mouthed. "Jill and I talked about this. It's not that I fancy any boy, its just that I don't see anything wrong with it if I did. If I was fond of him. That's the point though. I would have to want to make love with him, not just have sex. Like being with you. You know I am very fond of you, Penny. I care about you. I know it isn't the same as I feel about Jill, but I am more than happy to say I feel great affection for you. That I love you like she does. We love you, Penny, that's why we are happy to be here in bed with you."

Penny was still confused. "But... Oh Sean that is awfully nice of you to say. But ... Oh I don't know. Jill, yes, I do love you, and I have to say I find myself very turned on by you, and I find that really weird, and you Sean, well I have fancied you for ages, and well, you are still very fanciable, and I do like you a lot. I could fall in love with you. But you are Jill's."

Jill hugged her again. "So we love you, and you love us, and together we have a very nice time. And we don't think there is anything bad about what we have done. All the same we know other people make those judgements, so we don't draw attention to it. We will never tell anyone."

"I won't tell either," Penny said. "But that still isn't the point. Even though we are all good friends and this has been very good fun, isn't it still wrong?"

"We don't think so." I said. "We know others think it is, but we don't understand why."

"Look honey, you are over thinking this." said Jill. "People tell us it is wrong, they don't say why. It is all just control. Men mostly, want virgins as brides so they know their kids are theirs. Parents want their kids to marry so they don't get left with single mothers and grandchildren to look after. Other women want women not to sleep with other men because they are scared they will loose their husbands. Priests don't want anyone to enjoy themselves at all, so they keep giving money and hoping for heaven. It is all control."

"Aren't you afraid Sean will fall for me?" Penny asked.

"No more than he fears me falling for you. If he does I can't stop that. If he does then it is because he doesn't love me that much. I'd rather know that. But I don't think he will. No, let me rephrase that. I fully expect he will fall for you, a little more in love every day. But he won't fall out of love with me. And I know that because this last week that we have been so close has changed things for me. When I say I love you I mean it, but I don't mean I love Sean any less."

"And when I say I love Jill, I mean it, and still I can feel love for you. " I said.

"But..." Penny tried to protest.

"Penny. Look at me." said Jill. "Now honestly tell me, not what anyone else thinks, how did it feel when Sean and I were kissing you, and touching you, and you were kissing us?"

"Good. Of course it's good. But..."

"No buts. Now you believe in God, yes? Well why would a God who loves us make us so that things we do with people we love feel good if in fact they were bad?" Jill asked.

"Sex is for marriage. Doing it outside marriage may be fun, but that makes it even more sinful." Penny hung her head.

"Say the priests, and parents." Jill snorted. "I won't believe in a God who sets traps like that. Now if people get hurt, that's another thing. If you have promised to each other not to do it with anyone else, and you break the promise, or if you abandon your kids to run off with another guy, that's bad. Or if a girl gets pregnant and the boy leaves her. But what we do doesn't hurt anyone, does it?"

"No. Although my parents would go nuts."

We both laughed. "Yeah, ours too. But we won't tell them." I said.

"You really think they're wrong?" Penny sounded like she wanted to believe us.

I pulled out the memory trick, dragging in ideas she had come up with herself, arguments I knew she would agree with. "Your parents were quite old when you were born, weren't they?"

"Yes, but what.."

"They married late, yes?" I pressed.

"Yes."

"Your mum, did she have any boyfriends before your dad? During the War?"

"Yes. She was engaged. He was killed."

"And your father?"

"Yes." Penny looked down. "He was married before. She left him. He was away on duty, and she found another man. They divorced."

"So he definitely wasn't a virgin when he married your mum, and maybe she ... Well wartime romance and all that. Maybe not. But she was in love before, and must have kissed her fiancé at least. But she still loved your father. and they married and had you. In some churches there is no divorce. In some churches your parents aren't married, cannot be married. Now since they had you they definitely had sex at least once. So according to that church they have unmarried sex. Now I don't see any sin in all that."

"Well, no, although they aren't hypocrites. He didn't want the divorce, and it was years after when he met mum."

"Yes Penny, and I'm sure he loved his first wife, and he loves your mother. But being married had nothing to do with it." I squeezed her shoulder, and added "Also, let's be honest, your parents are even more old fashioned than mine - not just because they are older, but he was an army officer, and she's a teacher."

"True." She smiled wickedly "and he is still a good shot, so he had better not find out, or you'll have to run a good zig zag."

"True. But the point is that we don't think what we are doing is wrong, but Penny love, if you don't want to stay I can run you home. It really is fine. We would like you to stay of course. Love you to stay, love you to stay and make love with us. Because we love you. Both of us."

Jill chimed in "Honestly darling, I know how difficult it is. But I know how beautiful it is as well. I'd like you to stay. But if you can't it is ok. But if you can, then, well. I'll make you a deal. If after the weekend you decide that this was enough, that Sean is out of your system, I will help you get any boy you want. And if it isn't enough, I'll carry on with the sharing plan, until you fall for someone else. As long as Sean agrees. I want you to be happy, whatever you decide."

"I don't want to hurt you two. And I don't want to get hurt. I don't know what to do." Penny said nearly in tears.

Jill hugged her. She drew her into her arms and brought her head onto her shoulder. I rubbed her back a little, and we both tried to reassure her. Then Jill kissed her shoulder, and then her neck, and Penny's head came up, and she looked at Jill and said "You love me?"

"Yes." Jill said, and they kissed. It was soft and sweet, friends and lovers, teenage romance multiplied. Gradually I saw both were getting turned on, the kiss became intense, and when they stopped to breathe both were flushed with passion.

"Phew." Penny breathed deeply. "Okay. Okay, I think I need Sean to answer a couple of questions now. But thank you darling. Thank you." She kissed Jill with a quick peck on the lips and turned to me. She smiled, but then looked serious as she took another deep breath.

"Okay, Sean. If I stay this weekend and you drop me home tomorrow night, what would you do if I say then that I don't want to do this again. That I don't want to kiss you, or, or, anything else, ever again. That I want a boy of my own, and to be faithful to him. So you could never kiss me again?"

I answered without hesitation. "I would respect that, and understand it. And I would cherish the memory of the kisses we had shared, but it wouldn't change my friendship for you."

Penny followed up instantly. "What if I said that I needed not to see you. I have a crush on you. I know it. If I am to find another boy and fall in love and be his alone, maybe I shouldn't see you again, even socially, for a while. Months. A year maybe. Maybe forever How would that be for you?"

I hesitated this time. Other life memories of a past separation from Penny flooded me. I knew exactly how it would be for me. "I can see that might be one way to go. And if you felt that it was the right way, the only way, then I would try to help you to do that. But I have to say I am sure it would be hard for me. I would miss you. I would wonder how you were. I would wish I could see you, just to know you were alright, and I would think of you often. And I would be happy to see you again even years later, and I would always be here to help you if you needed me."

Penny's eyes were shining, "Oh Sean. That's lovely."

"Actually, that's love, darling," said Jill and she smiled at me, and touched my face.

Penny pulled her shoulders back, a gesture of resolution that I recognised. I knew she had made her mind up to stay, and my heart lifted. The fact that her movement also exposed one nipple from beneath the duvet also helped.

"Okay. One last thing. I have decided to stay today, and, and I want to make love with both of you again. But I need to know something. When Jill kissed me I got, well, a bit hot and bothered. Now it was very nice. And I liked it. And I'm beginning to think that I don't care what the girls in school say about girls who do that together. But I am still a bit worried about it, because it is a bit, a bit, queer. So I want to try something. Jill would you mind if Sean, by himself, played with me? So I know it is not you that is turning me on? So I know it is not that I'm a lezzie?"

Jill laughed. "Neither of us are lesbians darling, we both enjoy boys too much. You had a lovely time with Mike, and you fancy Sean, you aren't a lez."

"But, well, I broke with Mike because, well because I wasn't sure it was him that made me come. I didn't think he loved me. He didn't make me feel loved, and I didn't feel able to be with him and so vulnerable and, naked, with him. It was because you were there, looking after me. And looking at me. And I could look at you, and Sean. It was hearing and seeing you that made me come. And just there now, well if Sean hadn't arrived, I would have come with you alone. I did, I think. Now if that is the way it is, if that's what I am, well, I suppose that's what I have to be. But I want to know. I know it's a lot to ask, and I think you guys should talk about it, and I really have to go to the loo, so you can call me when you have thought about it. And if you don't want to, well that's ok. I'll stay with you both. For the weekend."

Jill said "Ok honey, but be quick because I need to pee too, and we won't need to talk for long"

"Well?" I said when we had both watched Penny's naked body cross the room and the door closed.

"No problem." said Jill. "It's half eleven now, I'll make lunch for one o'clock. That should be time enough to convince her."

"You sure?" I said

"Darling, we are talking about inviting her to live with us. I don't imagine that you two would not end up alone and horny and naked on a regular basis. And sometimes I would have her alone too. Nearly happened this morning, and I'll tell you all about that later, but now, just one thing. Have fun, but don't take her. Not without me. I want to be there when you take our girlfriend's virginity. I want to hold your cock and put it in her. Okay?"

"Of course. But I don't think that will be on the cards anyway. She has a big hangup about being a virgin, she'll not go for that yet."

Jill looked askance at me. "Lover, my dear and wonderful lover, you weave your magic and she'll be on her back with her legs open and your cock rubbing her slit in ten minutes tops. Yes, she is protective of her virginity, but two seconds after you popped your cock in her she'd be grabbing your back and bucking her hips like I want to be doing right now. So just remember that. I want you to take me, this afternoon, and again tonight, and again tomorrow. So she can wait. Ok?"

"Ok. No cock in pussy. No problem."

"Ok, now kiss me, and then I'm off to the loo, and I'll send her in."

I kissed her and told her I loved her and she slipped away, lithe and pale, smiling and blowing me a kiss at the door.

A minute later the door opened again, and Penny stepped in.

Penny stood by the door, naked, nervous, nipples erect. I was under the duvet, smiling at her. I lifted it back beside me and said "You'll get cold over there."

She smiled and came over to me. I admired her as she walked towards me, all over tan, dark bush and head of tousled hair, lips full and dark, nipples brown and crinkled, limbs smooth and graceful. She slipped into bed beside me, and said "Thank you Sean" and she kissed me.

I tried to take it slow, and spent time exploring her. It was familiar in my memory, and I knew so well how she tasted and smelled and felt in my arms. Jill had been right. I could so easily have slipped into the habit of old and taken her there and then, and she would have let me without knowing what I was doing until it was done. As it was the experience was strange. I had loved and made love with this girl a thousand times, and the last time nearly thirty years ago she was skinnier, twenty five, had multiple piercings, tattoos and her hair was suede short, with a collar round her neck and a butt plug inserted by her mistress that I was not permitted to remove. That image momentarily overlaid the cuddly eighteen year old bundle of fun I was kissing, and shocked me for a second. I shook those memories away, and let myself discover this Penny. It was in any case a new experience. In my old life she was nineteen, nearly twenty, when I first had her naked in bed.

Penny was warm and soft. She was shorter than Jill and her curves were more emphatic. Her darker colouring, and her different scent, the texture of her skin, all was delightfully different. I ran my hand down her back, and pulled her body to me. She smiled as she kissed me, and murmured "That didn't take long."

I mumbled back "Just pleased to see you" as I pushed my hard cock against her thigh.

"Would you like me to suck it again?"

"Later. If you like. But just now I just want this." I said and pulled her harder to me. One hand in her hair, one on her hip, then on her bottom, grasping her cheek and pulling her over on top of me, as I took her mouth with mine.

I released her hair and sought for her breasts, she lifted to let me feel them, and my other hand slid round to her bush. She spread her legs for me, and I sank a finger in her slit, as she reached for my cock and her tongue probed for mine.

I did everything I could to turn her on, ninety percent of which was just going with the flow, listening to her body, her breathing and her words. We rolled over, me on top, her legs round mine, pussy spread by my cock lying along it, and I rode her gently, touching and kissing all I could reach, complimenting her on her skin, her smell, her taste, her exquisite breasts, the sexy tuft of down in her armpit, the depths of her hazel eyes.