If I were Any Closer

We were sitting in a Chinese restaurant on the Breestraat in Leiden, the Netherlands. We were on the upper floor, looking out over the rest. The waitress had just taken our order. I slid my hand over the white tablecloth and held Lee's hand. Lee was the woman I'd been seeing for a few months. I called her "Pixie" because of her short hair. My face scrunched up. My eyes got watery.

-I love you, I said.

-You love me?!

-And it hurts.

Her eyebrows jumped up and froze.

-All the little pleasures long gone and dead are all waking up again. It rips me open and it hurts. And it's good.

I started to cry, I was so happy. Lee squeezed my hand. She looked at me and her eyes started watering.

Three months earlier I was fucking her up the ass like an idiot, slapping my groin up against her butt, fucking her like I was going to die. Marlon Brando fucked in "Last Tango" to forget. I was fucking Lee up her ass to feel.

We had made a date with each other. I was her theater teacher, fresh from the U.S. She was one of my Dutch students, a bit younger and a bit crazier than me, deaf in one ear.

I baked a quiche and made a salad for us. She loved it. I was glad I hadn't make any big mistakes.

We wound up on my couch, with the radio making noise in the background. I was telling her about my ongoing break-up with Nell. She was telling me about her problems with her boyfriend. And then Rod Stewart started singing "Passion" on the radio. We stopped talking and listened to the song.

-Once in love you're never out of danger; One hot night spent with a stranger

We looked at each other

-All you wanted was somebody to hold on to yeah

All it took was one touch. Then we were all over each other. Our lips met, our tongues met. My right hand was on one of her tits. Her left hand was rubbing my crotch.

When my dick was hard she held it tight. She stopped kissing me.

-Let's get you out of these.

She undid my belt and unzipped my fly. I stood up and shimmied out of my jeans and took off my underpants. God, I felt like a jerk, standing only in a t-shirt and socks. Lee nudged me back down on the couch and took my dick in her mouth. Her right arm was around my lower back, her left hand cupped my balls. I shivered, remembering a recent nightmare where a female vampire with fangs sucked me off.

Rod went on singing.

-Can't live without passion; Won't live without passion

I tapped her gently on the shoulder, and when she didn't respond, I held her head by her cheeks and pulled her head forcefully off my cock with a plop!

-Wanna go to bed? I asked.

She laughed.

-I thought you'ld never ask.

We stripped, laid down on my mattress on the floor and got into a scissors position: she was on her back, I on my side. I guided my dick up her cunt with one hand in no time and it felt like warm, wet heaven. We got back to kissing. We sucked on each other's lips and made love with our tongues.

Suddenly she twisted loose from me, pushed me onto my back and got on top. She raised her pelvis, grabbed my dick, aimed it at her cunt and sat down on me, cowgirl-style. She had a devilish smile on her face. like she was planning something pleasant or painful or both. She ground her pelvis into me, almost aggressively. We stared into each others' eyes. I suddenly got a desire to start singing "Getting to know you, getting to know all about you," but I let it go.

She stopped grinding, got off her knees and onto her feet. She squatted on my lap, holding me by the shoulders. She started plopping up and down on me. Weird: while she was grinding I enjoyed the friction. Now that she was plopping, it was like I was going directly up wet heaven, with plenty of room.

She lost me once, had to guide my dick back in and start over. Then I flopped out again and she fell to her knees.

-Shit.

I was worried something happened.

-My legs hurt. Your turn.

My turn. In that lapsed moment a thought intruded that should have been far away at that moment. I thought I had been a zombie for the past year, even while hanging out with girlfriend Nell; that when you're over-sensitive, the best defense is to make sure you don't feel anything at all.

My turn. I raised her off me a bit and scooted down on my back through her tunnel of love, her raised pelvis. My mouth took the place of my dick. I grabbed her thighs and pressed her cunt down on my tongue. God, she smelled good! Fleshy, young and sexy. I started slow: I licked her up and down and made small circles around her clit. There wasn't a whole lot of freedom of movement or creativity with her sitting on my face: SOMF, sit on my face, sit on my fucker, son of my father.

It wasn't one of my favorite positions: it hurt my neck and tongue while I tried to do my best. Luckily she moaned, which meant she was probably enjoying it.

To make the most of it I held my tongue stiff and shook my head, like a human vibrator. She got off on that, moaning even harder, but I couldn't keep it up much longer. When everything was numb, my tongue, my jaw, my neck, I slapped her ass with both hands, lifted her off of me, scooted even further down and escaped from under her. I rolled over, behind her and was tempted to fuck her doggy style. Instead, I grabbed her, pushed her over flat on her stomach and started to guide my dick up her cunt with a hand that was planted on her pubes.

-While we're in this position, she said, why don't you fuck me here, too.

I felt her hand high on my thigh and didn't know what she meant. I actually got off of her to see what she might be pointing at. It was her asshole.

-OK, I said. Actually I'd never done that before.

I laid back on top of her and guided my cock up her cunt.

-Just let me get warmed up, first.

-But once you switch over, she said, don't switch back and stick your dick back up my twat again.

-OK, I said, again, although it would be a few years before I actually understood why.

And suddenly it was fuck, rabbit, fuck! I grabbed her by her shoulders from under and slapped her butt silly with my pelvis, so the whole world could hear. God, how I loved the sound! This is what fucking was all about! Splat, splat, splat, splat! She started synchronizing her groans with my slaps.

-Uh, uh, uh, uh!

We could have gone on this way forever, but the downstairs neighbor had probably had enough of our noise and pounded a couple of times on his ceiling - our floor. We collapsed, laughing.

-Let's drown him out. Come on, fuck me up my ass.

I pulled out of her cunt, licked my hand, wet my dick even more and wiggled it up her ass. I was expecting difficulties, but I got it in quite easily, even though she was tight. She had done this before.

I supported myself on my hands and started out slow; just pushing in and pulling out, nothing quick. I saw her move her right hand down to her cunt and felt her lift a hip for a second. I assumed she was going to masturbate.

I picked up speed, starting to thump away at her. She started making sounds again, this time a bit more painful.

-Ng, ng, ng, ng!

God, I loved it.

I started slapping her butt silly again, one hole higher. I was desperately trying to come, trying to feel something.

-Oh my God, fuck me, fuck me, she said.

And I did.

-Ng, ng, ng, ng, ng, ng, ng, ng!

And then we exploded.

-Yes! she shouted, Yes! Yes! and came, screaming like someone being exorcised. I shot my wad up her beautiful ass with a howl and collapsed on top of her.

The neighbor downstairs started pounding on his ceiling again, extra hard. I squeezed her tight and we laughed like fuck. I laughed so hard I cried, and hoped she didn't notice.

Lee and I were still laughing, sniffing and wiping our eyes when the Chinese waitress brought us our meals: Babi Pangang for her, Spicy Sechuan for me.

-Enjoy your meal, said the waitress, and she left.

-Sex and love are two different things, I said, but together they sure pack a punch.

Lee shook her head.

-You're a strange man.

-A strange man in a strange land.

-And up a strange ass.

Then we started laughing again.

I was laying on top of her back, my sperm in her intestines, my stiff dick still stuck firmly up her ass. My arms were criss-crossed under her, holding her by her breasts.

-Oh, hold me, she murmured, hold me close.

-Any closer and I'd be in front of you.

It took her a while to react.

-I have a feeling you stole that line from somebody.

-Yeah, from Groucho Marx.

-I didn't know Groucho was into anal.

-No, but I am. Now that you got me hooked.