If You Don't Tell Ch. 02

She walked in, still wearing her scrubs, yet smelling more like an exotic flower nursery than a hospital. "Hey Lae." She moved past me as I closed the door behind her. As soon as the door was closed, she turned back towards me for a kiss.

I dodged her advance. "We need to talk."

Upset by my refusal to kiss her she glared at me and sat down on my couch before speaking up. "Me first." I sat down on the couch next to her, still shaking from my nervousness and listened. "This morning some things happened that shouldn't have. I got mad after you accused me, without actually saying that I had, of cheating. Do you really want to know what I was doing? I was cleaning. Not just regular housework either. I was doing Super mom type of cleaning. I'd just finished cleaning behind my dresser when you called. You remember my dresser, right? It's big, oak, and heavy as hell. It has a couple of breakable mirrors on it, just so that I can look at myself straining. And before that, I was fixing the pipe on my kitchen sink; the one that constantly leaks and is destroying the inside of my cabinets. And still before that, I fixed the big springy tube on the back of my dryer and cleaned up all the grey stuff that spent years behind my dryer. Here's the best part. This is all stuff that I've asked Franklin to do, but you know what he gives me instead? For Valentine's Day he gave me the best three minutes of his life, thank you very much."

Sitting by her side and listening to her story made me feel awful for not only what she had to go through, but also what I had to tell her. "So that was your morning?"

"Yes Lae, it was hell. I have calluses on my hands, there's still lint and crap from under the sink still in my hair, and I'm horny as hell. But what made it all worse was when you came at me the way you did. I told you how I feel and you tried me. You of all people should know that I can be trusted."

"I know you can, but sometimes I can't help myself. My imagination gets a little crazy and I get possessive. I'm sorry for that. I wish there was a way I could take it all back."

"There's a way." She leaned over to kiss me and I stood up to avoid her advance. She looked at me with a puzzled look on her face. "Lae, what's going on? I understand why you didn't kiss me before, but now that you know I don't understand." She sounded perplexed, but the look she gave me was one of hurt. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Niya, I've been trying to tell you something all day, but I don't know how."

"Just tell me. I'm a big girl." She looked me right in the eye and no matter how hard I tried to avert my gaze, I couldn't turn away.

I suddenly became so numb that I had to sit back down to keep myself from passing out. "I--we need to stop doing what we're doing. We need to stop being with each other." Each word became increasingly harder to say, but after I said it I couldn't look her in the eyes anymore.

"So you're telling me that we have to stop having sex with each other?" She asked.

"Yes." I answered, but I still continued to look at the ground. I felt as guilty as a child who'd just been sent to the principal's office.

"Forever?" She asked; her voice cracking and barely audible.

"Yes." I repeated, almost whispering.

"Wow, I wasn't expecting that." Tears began falling from her eyes. "This has certainly been a shitty day."

As I watched the tears plummet from her face to her lap, I began crying as well. I hated seeing her when she was upset and I hated even more that I was the one who brought her here. She needed to know everything and I spoke to her through my sobbing. "I love you, you know that, but I can't continue--continue leading a double life. It's wrong for you and for Quinton. Niya, you're my best--my best friend, but being with you confuses me. I thought I knew what I wanted from life, but every time we sleep together you blur that line."

"How do you think it is with me? I struggle with this everyday. I was--I am willing to give up my life for you if you say the word. I didn't come to this decision easily, but I've been hurt too many times. You are the only person who has always been in my corner and I had no doubt that it would work between us. I never wanted you to make a choice, but now that you have, it hurts like hell that you didn't choose me. What can I say to make you change your mind? Is it me? What can I do to be better? I'll do anything, you know that. I told you that I'd be with you and Quinton if you wanted me to be. Just give me another chance. Laela please!"

The tears began flowing more rapidly as she collapsed on my shoulder and sobbed on Quinton's shirt until I could feel the warmth from her tears on my flesh. In all the years I'd known her I had never seen her as vulnerable as she was now. I didn't know what to say or what to do, so I just held her as my tears ran down my face onto her back.

After a few minutes of holding each other she sat up and stared into my eyes. With tears still slowly descending from her eyes, she placed her left hand on my thigh and leaned in to kiss me, but this time I didn't stop her. I didn't want to.

She softly kissed my top lip and then the bottom one. When she began to withdraw, I grabbed her scrub shirt and pulled her down with me as I leaned back onto my couch. Our kissing grew more intense with each breath and it wasn't long before she'd taken off my top and I'd pulled off hers.

She kissed me all along my ribs, nibbling exactly where I told her I liked it and careful not to move too fast. She'd just begun unfastening my bra when my cell phone rang. It was Quinton. I put my fingers to my lips to let her know to keep quiet and answered the phone.

She'd already unfastened my jeans and was pulling my panties and jeans down my legs when I answered. "Hello baby."

"Hey sexy, are you at the house?" He asked.

"Yes. I've been here all day."

"Okay. Well I wanted to thank you for breakfast this morning."

"You're very welcome. You know I'd do anything for you. You don't usually call this late in the day. Are you stuck in traffic or did something happen at work?" Niya had already started sucking on my toes and I was rushing my sentences out so that I could shiver without Quinton hearing me.

"It's work. I might be home a little later than I'd planned. Unfortunately, we have some people from out of town coming in to look at the operation and it's going to push me back a little further than I thought it would."

Niya began licking on my forbidden spot, my clit, and I glared at her for being so indiscreet. I couldn't believe that the same qualities I found appealing in her were the same ones that were going to get us found out. She didn't care about my glare and continued. "Um--that's um--that's too bad baby." I put the phone between my shoulder and neck and used both hands to push her away from me.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, just taking off my clothes and getting in the shower." I lied. When it came to Quinton, it was something I was beginning to do often.

"Ooooh sounds good. Can I join you later on?"

"We'll seeeeee." Niya had pushed my knees all the way to my neck which left me wide open to do whatever she wanted.

"You sure you okay? You sound different. Turn down the A/C, it might help." He suggested.

"I'm okay. I almost slipped on the floor." With Niya's treachery, I continued to struggle with each word. "Hey Babe, can--I call--you back! Using--the bathroom!"

"That's nasty. You could've told me before you started. Anyway, don't cook. I'll be bringing something home. Don't tell me what you want; I'll just pick up something on the way home. I just wanted you to know that I love you." He quietly whispered the last three words into the phone.

"Love you too." I barely had time to hang up when Niya knocked the phone from my hand. "What's wrong you with you? Are you trying to get us caught?" I was shocked at how bold she'd just been, but I wanted her to finish too badly to sustain my anger.

"If I wanted him to know I was eating you out I would've told him myself. That was just for fun." She devilishly smiled as only she could.

"Dammit Niya, that's it. I can't do this anymore." I began to sit up, but she forcefully pushed me back down.

"Lae I'm sorry, but you want this as much as I do. You can put on a front all you want, but you love my tongue, especially when it's between your legs, don't you?" I clenched my jaws and glowered at her. She smiled and dragged her tongue over my temple. "Don't you?"

I was too weak to resist. If this was going to be the last time, I wanted to make it last as long as it possibly could. And with Quinton's job keeping him longer, it was destined to happen. "Yes."

Just as quickly as we'd shed tears, she'd gotten her swagger back and I was lusting for her to return to my temple. "Yes what? I want to hear it baby. Tell me you want me to fuck you right here on this couch." She went back down on me and continued conversing as she did. "You still want me to fuck Quinton while you watch, don't you?"

"Yes baby, I want you between my legs. Fuck me right now."

"And what else?" She asked, knowing I hadn't answered everything like she'd wanted me to.

I loved her dominance and it only added to my excitement. I wasn't sure if I wanted to answer her second question, but when I began to feel my orgasm slowing releasing itself from its hidden slumber, I knew that at this moment I couldn't deny her anything she wanted. I was about to climax when I answered her second question. "Yes--yes, I want you to fuck Quinton while I watch." No sooner than it had escaped from my mouth, I deeply inhaled and screamed to the top of my lungs, "Shiiiiiiiiiiiit!"

Her tongue never wavered as my body involuntarily contorted all over the living room couch, bringing several smaller climaxes in tow. When she finally withdrew, her face was covered with my ecstasy. She wiped most of it off of her face with her right hand and licked every finger until I was sure it had all been tasted and swallowed.

"I'm not finished with you. On your knees!" She demanded.

I was exhausted, but I did as I did as I was ordered to. I touted my ass in the air, spread my legs, and relaxed my back as she ate me from behind. Any rational thoughts I had were put on hold as my body responded repeatedly with wave after wave of climax.

Even if I wanted her to stop, the only words that were allowed out of my mouth were the curses of another oncoming orgasm.

*************

7:05 PM

Teniyah and I made love for a little more than two hours. It wasn't a personal record, but I certainly couldn't remember when sex for that long was more like one long orgasm.

As we were putting our clothes back on I spoke for the first time since we began our escapade. "I said some things--"

She interrupted me and finished my statement with one of her own. "--that you can't take back."

"Niya, we can't keep doing this. Tonight is the end of it."

She turned her head away from me, but not before I could see her melancholic look returning. "But we had sex! And it was great!" She exclaimed. She couldn't hold back her disappointment very long as she soon began whispering. "I thought we were okay, Lae. Why can't we be together?"

It tore me apart worse than I thought it would, but I knew it had to come to an end or later on it would be worse off for the both of us. "Niya, you know how much I love you, but we can't continue doing this. This is wrong. I can't deny that I have feelings for you, but just because we're women doesn't make it anything les than cheating. If Franklin was with another man, wouldn't you consider that cheating?"

"That's different. There's penetration there." She rebutted.

"Tell me that we haven't penetrated each other. We've done it with our fingers, our tongues, and even our very hearts. We can't use that excuse anymore. My father used to tell me that every time you slept with a man, you carried a piece of his soul with you. The more pieces you had, the less likely you were to maintain a closer relationships because a soul carries with it all of the despair and problems that the man himself carried. But it's not all bad. It also carries with it the love he had for you, which makes it that much harder for us to love another man so quickly. It doesn't only apply to men. No matter what I go through in life, I will always carry a piece of you with me."

"But Lae, we had sex. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"Yes, it means something to me. It' means we did something we shouldn't have. I don't regret one single second of it or that it happened the way that it had. I wanted you and I knew you wanted me, but we can't have a relationship when the both of us already have other lives--with other people."

"You're right, but you can't take back what you said."

I had an idea of what she was getting at, but I chose to play dumb just in case we were talking about two entirely different things. "What I said about what?"

"You said that you loved when I was in between your legs." I was relieved, but my relief was short lived and was replaced by absolute horror. "You also said that you wanted me to fuck Quinton while you watched. Are you going to take that back too? You told me you wanted to do a threesome for his birthday before all of this. Are you reneging on that too?"

I didn't know what to say. "I forgot about that. I'm not sure if we should though."

She solemnly looked at me. "Laela Booker, if you go back on your word, I will never forgive you. I have given you everything and offered you more than I've offered anyone in my entire life. It's not fair that every time you want something, I'm literally on my knees getting it for you, but let me want something and all of a sudden the rules change."

"Whoa, what would you say if I wanted to sleep with Franklin?"

"I'd say good luck keeping it hard for more than two minutes! Can't I know what it's like to be you? Can't I get some satisfaction as well?"

"You were the one who wanted to sleep with me and you got what you wanted! You got satisfaction!" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She wanted satisfaction from my man!

"Yeah, but it was always when you wanted too or when you were comfortable! If we did it whenever I wanted to, it'd be 5 or six times a week and not the handful of times we've done it! I can't believe you! You get great sex on both ends and you don't even want to share with someone who's willing to sacrifice their life for you! You are a fucking trip!"

I was upset and bordering on mad. "Teniyah Oliver, this conversation is over! It's done! We are done and you just don't want to let go! I don't have to share my man and it's not my fault if your man needs a damn stint to keep his dick hard! I'm tired and I'd appreciate it if you left!" I walked to my front door and threw it open, exposing myself in only my underwear to whoever happened to walk up the stairs from the parking lot.

"That's some foul shit, Lae." She pulled her scrub shirt back over her head and stormed out. As she passed me she made sure that I heard, "I wonder what Quinton's going to say when I tell him."

She had pushed the rock up the hill and destroyed the border that held my anger back. "Is that a threat?" I calmly asked.

"No," She said as she stood in my doorway, "it's a promise. But then again I guess you could say that a threat is just an unhappy promise." She smiled and walked down the outside stairs towards her car.

"I can't believe she fucking threatened me!" I yelled as I slammed the door to my apartment. "I knew I should've ended this a long time ago! I fucked up! I fucked up! Dammit!" I began pacing around the apartment, the same as I had done before she came.

After a few minutes of pacing around the apartment and cursing Niya, I picked up my cell phone from off the floor, closed it and hooked it up to the charger. It was then that I came to the realization she was right. It was true that wanted to have the proverbial cake and eat it too. I never told her, but I knew that she was the one friend I had the Quinton would screw; he told me as much. The thought of them being together and leaving me behind was too much to bear and so I never really truly entertained the idea of a threesome with her.

When I was with my parents in Cleveland, I'd planned for it to happen, but in reality I was going to make up some excuse then too to keep it from happening. All I really succeeded in doing was alienating my best friend with lies and deceit, the same thing I was doing to my fiancée. I was no better than the people on all the talk shows I claimed to be better than.

I was still in deep thought when the house phone rang. I looked at the ID and when I saw it was Niya, I feigned hostility when I answered it. "Hello!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything I said. I was just upset that you went back on your word. Can you forgive me?"

All of the fury that I'd just been internalizing suddenly dissipated and I was on the phone with my best friend. "I'm sorry, too. I really didn't mean it when I said those things; like when I said your husband needed a stint for his dick, I was upset. You weren't wrong about anything, you were right about everything. I did want things when I wanted them and that was wrong of me to do. I was--am being selfish and I'd like it if you'd forgive me."

"That dick stint thing was pretty funny and I would've laughed if I weren't so damn mad at you. Lae, I can't stay angry with you, but I'll only forgive you on one condition."

"Name it."

"You be true to your word from now on."

"Is it retroactive?" I asked, hoping that maybe she'd give in and save me from my own words.

"It is most certainly retroactive."

"Let me think about it."

"Laela!" She shouted into the phone.

"Okay, okay." I conceded defeat. "I'll keep my word. We can do it, but only once and only on his birthday."

"It's a deal." She said and we hung up. It felt good to have my friend back so soon, but I was nervous as hell thinking about how it was all going to go down.

************* 8:15PM

Niya left an hour ago, but Quinton still hadn't gotten home. I nervously walked around the living room where she and I ended our hidden sexual relationship and wondered what was taking Q so long to get home. With my type of karma I was surprised that he hadn't walked in on us. I called his cell and work phone several times after she left, but I as soon as his voicemail message clicked on, I hung up.

My plan was to make love to him as soon as he came home, but Niya's visit curtailed that arrangement. As I caught flashbacks from out last intimate moment together, my eyes rolled up into my skull and my body shivered, and I was useless in trying to control it. I didn't know what I was going to tell him if he wanted some, but I hoped that he would be just as content with some head.

I grabbed some crackers and Quinton's card from the kitchen before I walked to the bedroom. I soon as I walked through the door, I crashed down on the bed and tossed his card on his side of the bed. Fatigued as hell and drained of every ounce of cum I had in my body, I shoved the crackers in my mouth two at a time to help replenish my strength while I watched a movie on HBO.

"Where are you Quinton?" I asked myself, hoping that he'd suddenly walk through the door and I could satisfy him before my eventual collapse. I thought about making coffee, but I heard somewhere that extra carbs help boost your energy.

The crackers were a complete failure. I succumbed to my exhaustion as I fell asleep with the TV still on, cracker crumbs hanging halfway out of my mouth, and Quinton's Valentine's Day card lying on the pillow beside me. The last thought I had before passing out: "Quinton, where the hell are you?"

Quinton

6:45 AM

I left the apartment feeling like I had rocks in my stomach and was still feeling my insides being ravaged as I pulled into Dre's driveway. I jumped out of my car and ran up to his door banging furiously, hoping that he hadn't gone back to sleep after I called.