If You Sprinkle When You Tinkle

Karen thought about buying Evidence Eradicator 3.0 for a few weeks. The only problem was that she didn't know how she'd hide the purchase from her husband. It might eradicate the evidence of her Internet foibles, but it didn't eradicate the evidence of a forty dollar plus shipping MasterCharge bill. Tommy wasn't an idiot. She would just have to trust that he didn't know enough about computers to dig that deep into the whatever it was that held these ghosts of what had gone before despite cleaned cookies and no history.

She sighed and typed in the address to her favorite webpage instead. The Evidence Eradicator and all of its wild claims of keeping her secrets even more secret was replaced by a bulletin board that catered to her and people who were just like her. She read through older threads that she'd missed on and responded to a few of them. She flirted wildly with all and sundry.

"Karen? You in here?"

She clicked the x and shut the bulletin board down before he could come in. "Back on the computer! I was just doing some reading on, on--" the webpage behind it was full of flowers. Flowers? "flowers!"

"Just checkin. I'm going over to watch the game with the guys, I'll be back by ten!"

"All right, Tommy. Have fun!"

She waited until she heard the door slam, then wilted in relief. A full three and a half hours alone with her computer. She could completely relax, get into it without keeping an ear out for Tommy. It wasn't that she was doing anything that he would be mad about, she just didn't want him to know. She could just imagine what he'd do if he ever found out what kind of freak she was, and divorce was the least of it. She shuddered to think of all the things he could do.

Feeling free, she turned up the radio and danced her way to the kitchen. She fetched a large glass of water and headed for the computer, singing to herself. She forewent the board and headed straight for the site she reserved for times when she was alone. It cost her about twenty bucks a month, but she managed to hide it from Tommy.

She licked her lips and felt her nipples harden when the new picture of the day popped up. She could feel herself tingling deep in the pit of her uterus. Even her pussy gasped in joy. Slowly, she moved through the galleries of pictures they'd put up in the last few weeks, taking a lengthy moment to appreciate every one. Then she went through and put herself in the mood to orgasm by looking at her favorites. She thought about reading one of their dirty stories, but decided there wasn't enough time. She wanted to make sure she had plenty of it for a video and a clean up. Tommy would never understand.

There were eight new straight from DVD videos she hadn't seen yet. She went through the titles and descriptions, then picked out the one she thought would be the most interesting and cruised through the pictures again while it downloaded. Maybe she could talk Tommy into getting a cable modem. She'd have to think up a good excuse because "your wife is a freak and needs to watch disgusting nutjob porn more efficiently" just didn't cut it.

Finally it was ready. She took a deep breath, her pussy already leaking in anticipation, and started the player. The opening scene held two women and one man involved in heavy foreplay on a waterbed stripped of its linens. She could hear the movement of the water beneath the cheesy music and the fake giggles and groans from the actors. She loved watching the guy eat the blonde's pussy while the brunette swallowed his cock. She knew Tommy would love this kind of thing, men were into that.

They switched positions, but Karen ignored whatever they said. She just wanted to hear them moan and watch them do those nasty things that made her such a sick freak. The guy rolled onto his back in the middle of the bed, the brunette cuddling up beside him. Her hand worked his cock, which was swollen and leaking precum. The blonde somehow managed to get her balance on the waterbed, her knee on his side and her other foot stretch behind the brunette.

Karen could feel her body tightening, her fingers flying on her pussy. What she wouldn't give to be there, to be a part of it. She wanted to cum, she was ready to, but she waiting for the best part. The blonde parted her pussy, it was shaved so she was probably a bleached blonde, opening the lips until her shiny pink clit was easily visible in the eye of the camera. The smooth columns of her thighs panned back when she started to pee. The clear stream flowed a little weakly at first, the piss falling out of sight. The camera backed away until all three people were in view. Then the blonde really let them have it. Her piss landed on his chest squarely, it leaked down his sides and splashed onto the brunette. She leaned over and licked his nipple, sucking on it. The blonde wiggled her ass, sending her pee arcing all over them, along the brunette's ass to his cock, up along their bellies and chests to splash onto his face. He opened his mouth to catch it and Karen exploded in the most intense orgasm she'd had in months.

"This is what you've been hiding from me?"

It was like ice tossed in her face. Her orgasm weakened, her body spasmed, spilling her out of the chair, and her cup of water fell over.

"Tommy!"

"Who in the hell else would it be?" He rescued her cup and used her shirt, the one she didn't remember taking off, and mopped up the water before it ruined everything on the desk.

"I can explain," she lied. Of course she couldn't, how can you explain something like urophilia? She picked herself up, her pussy still throbbing from orgasm. She picked up the chair and crossed her arms over her chest. She couldn't look at him.

The brunette on the video started screaming and she lunged to stop it, to turn it off before they could continue on with the water party and make everything worse. Tommy stopped her, watching the action on the screen intently.

"Tommy, please." She had to stop it, she couldn't bear it if he saw anymore.

"I thought you were cheating on me."

That caught her off guard. "What?"

"You're always on this thing and you're always hiding something. I thought you had a lover or something you were hiding from me."

"I love you! I would never do that!" She was horrified that he'd think such a thing. A little pissed off, too.

"How long has this been going on?" He sat in the chair and took over the mouse. She perched on the stool from under the drafting table.

"About twenty minutes." He gave her the look that deserved. She stared at her feet, the shame threatening to choke her. "I found out about this stuff about a month after we got on the 'Net. Since then."

"Almost a full year. Why didn't you ever tell me?" He sounded hurt. She peeked up at him for a moment, but couldn't quite get the stomach to meet his eyes.

"It's, well, it's embarrassing."

He looked at the screen again. From the looks of things the two women were involved in heavy kissing while the guy peed on them both. Why didn't he just turn it off? "It is a little weird."

"It's a lot weird! I'm a freak and they're freaks and it's disgusting!" She knew it was, it didn't take a shrink to know that involving piss and sex was pretty damned gross.

"It turns you on though."

"I think it's kind of interesting." She stared at the wall calendar. A bunch of Labrador puppies panted back at her.

"Babe, you haven't cum like that for me in years."

The puppies were too innocent, too wholesome. She stared at the drafting table with a half-finished blueprint on it. "Okay, it turns me on. Can we just not talk about this please?" She wrapped her arms around herself.

"No, I want to talk about this now. I think you owe me an explanation."

She just knew he wouldn't understand. "Well I don't."

"Karen, look at me."

"No."

He scooted the chair closer to her and pried her hands off of her sides. He pressed his forehead to hers. "I love you."

She didn't know what was worse, the piss or the tears that were starting to choke her. "Please, Tommy."

"I don't think you're disgusting. Or a freak."

"Of course I'm a freak."

"It's a little weird, I'll give you that, but I still love you even though you like pee. Give me a chance here, sweetheart, I'm not a monster and neither are you. Tell me about it."

"I can't, not now."

He handed her the glass of water. "Here, drink up. I'll go run us a bath and we can cuddle, okay?"

The awful pressure lifted a little. He was going to let her off the hook, for now at least. She took a big swallow of the water and tried to wash down the knot in her throat. Tommy kissed her head and left as quietly as he'd come. The trio were done fucking. The video was frozen on the beginning scene again, the guy eating the blonde and the brunette sucking his cock. The sight of it was like a slap in the face. As fast as she could she erased everything and shut down the computer. She promised herself that she wouldn't go back to any of those freak sites, even the watersports bulletin board where most of her online friends were. No more Internet for her.

Tommy was in the bath, waiting for her. Gratefully, she stripped out of the rest of her clothes and turned off the overhead light. She sank into the water with him, cuddling against him. She let the heat of the bath, the gentleness of the candlelight, and the warmth of his body soothe her. She listened to the steady beat of his heart and vowed all over again that she would never think about watersports again.

One of his arms curled around her, anchoring her firmly to him in the way that she always loved. It always made her feel safe. The other hand slipped between her legs and played absently with her pussy hair. She sighed in contentment and listened to the slosh of the water in the tub.

"Tommy, let me up. I have to pee."

"Then pee."

"Yuck, not in the tub you goof. Let me up."

"No."

She froze, her eyes opening as wide as they could go. "This isn't funny, Tommy."

"I didn't think it was either."

"You're punishing me for that porn. You're trying to humiliate me. Well I hope you're happy, because it's working."

His fingers slid into her pussy, where she was still warm and wet from her orgasm. "Oh no, baby. I want to feel you cum. I want to watch you orgasm for me like you did in the chair. You're hot and sexy and you turn me on. You're turning me on now."

"But I have to pee!"

"I know."

"I can't turn you on now."

"If it makes you feel better, you can think about me being a freak, too. I'll try anything at least once." He kissed her forehead and did something with his fingers that made her moan. "My hand's in your pussy, baby."

"I know, Tommy."

"Does it make you hot? You like it when my hand's in your pussy?"

"Oh yes," she trailed off in a sibilant hiss. His hand covered her fully, two long fingers deep inside of her, his palm cupping her lips tightly, and the heel of his hand pressing against her clit.

"What did he tell her in the movie? Piss on me?"

"I wasn't listening." How anyone could be aroused and embarrassed at the same time defeated her, but she was doing it.

"Here's your chance baby, your fantasy. Piss on me."

"But Tommy--"

"We wash, baby. If it doesn't work out, we don't have to mention it again, but I want to try it with you."

She met his eyes for the first time since he discovered her. She trusted him, she knew she did. Did she trust herself, though? Could she do it this one time knowing it would disgust him and she'd never have it again? How could she not? In the end her body took the decision from her. It trickled a little bit out against the palm he pushed against her pussy.

"There, you peed on me. Was that so bad?"

She couldn't believe he'd noticed that. "I still have to pee."

He kissed her again. "I didn't run screaming about scarlet letters, did I? We could put a red P on all your dresses. Make that a yellow one."

She laughed and a little bit more came out.

"That's it baby, pee on me."

She did. She let the muscles relax and the floodgates opened. He kept his hand against her the entire time, slowly rubbing her clit. It wasn't enough to make her cum, but it made her hot inside. Hotter than looking at all those nasty pictures on the Internet. He slid down in the tub, his fingers getting more intent on working her pussy, and attached his lips to hers. She undulated her hips, rocking her pussy against his hand and saturating his skin with her piss. The thought excited her even more. She almost came, but he didn't let her.

"I don't have to ask, babe, I know you liked it."

She licked her lips and dared. "Wh-what about you?"

"I liked it. I don't know about that drinking it stuff that the one guy did, but this was kind of hot."

She couldn't help it, she grinned like she'd just learned about orgasms for the first time. "You liked it?"

"I liked it." He put her hand on his erection. "See?"

"You liked it!" She laughed, feeling a curious rush of freedom. She wanted to scream it to everyone. She wanted to dance, she wanted to throw a parade. She settled for kissing him soundly.

"Stand up and stick your ass out, I wanna fuck you."

She bounced to her feet, leaning against one wall of the shower and sticking her butt out. She wiggled it at him invitingly, grinning over her shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her waist and slid his cock into her. It was like sliding into melted butter. She groaned, rocking against him.

"I want to piss while you're fucking me." She wanted to talk, to tell him every secret fantasy she'd ever had. The urge was almost overwhelming. "I want to--"

"We have all of our lives, babe, let's do one thing at a time. I'm fucking you, go ahead and piss."

"I, uh, can't." She felt shy, remembering exactly where all the pee had gone. "I already let it all out."

"Maybe later then."

Later! Her imagination took flight. His finger on her clit brought her back down, sort of. She imagined him fucking her pussy and fingering her clit until she came. At the exact moment of her imaginary orgasm, she pissed. She imagined him rubbing her clit and playing with her piss at the same time. Her body tightened and it sent her over the edge. She arched against him, shoving her ass backwards, and came. As intense as the orgasm she'd had earlier had been, it was nothing compared to what she did on his cock.

Once she managed to gather her scattered wits, she realized he was still slowly pumping in and out of her. Usually he came right after she did. He said he loved the feeling of her pussy milking his cock so much that he couldn't hold back. "Are you going to come?"

"I can't, babe."

That hurt. Of course he couldn't come, she'd just peed on him and it had disgusted him.

"I have to piss, I can't cum until I pee. I didn't pee before we started fucking like I normally do. He leaned over her, licking her neck and nuzzling her ear. "Where do you want it?"

She thought about it. On her breasts? Her pussy? Her ass? She couldn't decide. "All over."

He pulled out of her and she turned around, pressing her back against the wall. He looked so good standing there with the intense look on his face and his hard cock in his hand. She wanted to lick him all over and fuck him all at the same time. There was something infinitely better about it now that he knew her deepest, darkest secret. Even wanted to share it with her.

"I don't know if I can piss with a hard-on. I've never done it before."

"Oh, okay." That never occurred to her. The guys in the pictures usually pissed with hard-ons.

He concentrated for a few minutes, staring at her breasts. A few drops leaked out, but she couldn't tell if it was precum or pee. A moment later it gushed out, catching her by surprise with its heat and power. It slapped against her thighs first, then hit her pussy. He adjusted his aim, moving closer, and drew a big heart over her breasts with his pee. At least that's what she thought he was trying to do.

When the stream began to die down, he stepped against her, shoving his body against hers, and thrusting his tongue into her mouth. He slipped his cock between his legs, looking for her clit with his piss. She couldn't tell if he was done peeing or not when he gave up and shoved it deep into her cunt. She gasped, lifting a leg to get him in deeper. He pounded into her, grunting with each stroke. She moaned, ignoring the bottles of shampoo that fell from the side of the tub and landed in the water around their legs. She screamed at the unexpected orgasm that lashed through her. He sank his teeth into her neck where it met her shoulder and came with her.

He sagged against her, breathing like a winded horse. "Hey baby," he managed to mutter when he caught his breath, "does this mean you won't be pissed at me when I leave the seat up?"