I'll Make a Man Out of You

CHAPTER 1

The tousled blond well-built guy of twenty-eight listened to the wasp-tongued judge slam into him before passing sentence. It was near the end of the day and Judge Willis was tired, the arthritis in her right hip was biting and she was just in the right mood to, figuratively, bury her teeth into some poor jerk's butt.

Finn Walsh was the unfortunate. Normally he might have escaped with yet another mild rebuke had the minor matter that had landed him in court been dismissed on a technicality yet again, such as one judge declaring a man with $80 sleeping on a park bench cannot be considered a vagrant. But this time Judge Willis thought perhaps five days in prison might turn around this guy who appeared on route to wasting his life. For goodness sake, he had a master's in fine arts. How could he achieve that and have spent the past three years being a bum? He needed a shake up.

She lashed the guy with verbal brimstone causing a young woman, probably his ex-fiancée, run from the court in tears and his parents had the terrified look of knowing their son was about to go to jail.

Judge Willis shuffled papers wondering if perhaps she should make that seven days incarcerated; the tough jerk had just stared at her expressionless as she'd blasted him and now was examining the ornate ceiling of her courtroom. Miss Keys his attorney, acting in place of her father Morgan who'd been at law school with Judge Willis, asked to approach the bench. The judge looked at the prosecution attorney who waved away the unspoken invitation to join the impromptu conference.

"Judge Willis," said Alice Keys a little breathlessly. "It worries me I might not have represented my client with the skill acquired from experience my father possesses."

"Well that's scarcely surprising my dear. You have been practicing what two years?"

"Three years your Honor."

"Go on."

"It would appear from your comments that a short spell in jail is your only option."

"Virtually my only option dear."

Alice looked horrified at making that error. "Of course Judge Willis. Virtually your only option, hence my submission. I appeal to you to declare the defendant bound over to me for ninety days during which time I shall endeavor to reform him. I live with my father so I'll not be living alone with the defendant and shall have my father's reforming spirit to assist with my cause."

"Worried about your level of representation you say. Could it be the defendant is your age, is rather handsome and is obviously intelligent have not have escaped your attention?"

Alice smiled sweetly. "Guilty Judge Willis but those qualities have motivated my desire to arrest his senseless derogation. I shall take my role very seriously indeed should you give me the chance and decide to give my client the chance."

"Return to your position young lady."

Judge Willis bound the defendant over to his attorney Miss Keys on a ninety-day good behavior bond. The judge had the satisfaction of watching the dependant's mouth open in shock and the obviously relief sweep over the faces of his parents. She could be making a mistake but sniffed and thought judges often make mistakes. She rose and went through into her office and completed the paperwork.

The court official explained the document to Albert Finnegan Walsh. Finn was to work and live as directed by Miss Alice Keys for ninety days and be of good behavior. Any breach and he could be called back to the court for sentencing. "In your case pal, sentencing could mean from three to ten days' behind bars. Stopping the mayor's wife on the street and asking could she give you a bed for the night was not the smartest thing to do. You scared the crap out of her."

"How was I to know she was a VIP? They ought to have a VIP nameplate around their necks."

"Women don't modify their behavior for the likes of you pal. The main entrance has closed for the night. Go out the side door along that passage over there," the official pointed.

Finn held out his hand to be shaken by his attorney, but she ignored it. "Good work babe. Thanks for pulling the wool over the judge's eyes. Be seeing you."

Alice looked him in the eye. "Albert Finnegan Walsh, get into my blue BMW over there. If you dare disobey me or leave my home without permission or stay away longer than the time I have given you to be away you'll be behind bars within twenty-four hours and be left to rot."

"You wouldn't pretty one."

"I would and I suggest you be careful how you address me otherwise you will be confined to your room for four hours and dinner for you that night will be bread and water."

"You wouldn't."

"Try me!"

Alice stared him down.

He muttered, "Well you are pretty and no amount of bullying will change the way I think."

Alice turned to hide her blush and he waited with a mocking grin for her to unlock the car.

"Want me to drive?"

She snapped no but watching the shutters come down on his face thought just because he'd spent a few years without a home wouldn't mean he'd forgotten how to drive. "Well okay, but drive carefully."

She handed him the keys and told him to look at her.

"Albert Finnegan Walsh, you are my prisoner for ninety days. During that time I'll make a man out of you."

Alice received back an indescribable look that left her nonplussed. But as he drove them off she considered the look devoid of surprise was a mix of disbelief, contempt and hope. She could be wrong but that was the best she could do and she'd been trained to read people's expressions and desire for concealment.

Alice Keys had lived alone with her father since she was twelve. Her mother Angela had run away with her lover and that was the last time Alice had spoken to her. She knew where she lived and she and her father had seen her when Alice turned seventeen. At that age her father considered her old enough to handle the sighting emotionally. She'd also spent an hour two years ago observing her mother and lover and their son in a restaurant. She'd felt emotion of course. Heaps of it, but similarly when she was seventeen at that earlier sighting had controlled it. After her mother had disappeared her father had hired a private detective to trace Angela and then was just content to know where she was and that she was safe.

Angela maintained just the slightest contact with her daughter, sending Alice a present for her July 11 birthday. Over the years the presents had gradually become more expensive and that told Alice more money was probably coming into her mother's home now that her much younger partner was gaining promotion as a business manager. It was eerie for Alice knowing she had a half-brother, aged about ten, and had seen him and yet had not spoken to him. She'd thought of sending him a Christmas present but figured her mother might regard that as an invasion of privacy.

Her father Morgan had contact with some women -- Angela had no idea how many -- to take out dining or to functions and probably receiving back what he desired in return. Never had he pushed himself at his daughter, being an honorable man. She occasionally met him at functions when he was with a woman and he would introduce her as his daughter without embarrassment.

During her teenage years Alice had received some mothering from the mothers of her girlfriends who apparently found her very likable. Her father's lone wolf attitude towards women had rubbed off on Alice because rarely did she go around with a guy for longer than four weeks -- two weeks to get to know him, two weeks going to bed with him and then she'd find a reason to move on. She knew she never planned that to happen. It just become habitual and she saw no reason to change it. But in court that very afternoon she felt when meeting the client her father had handed on to her because of conflicting appointments she was at last looking at Mr Right. She had no idea why she thought that and would do nothing about it. The guy was a jerk. But then in the courtroom when seeing his parents looking so distraught her mind changed and she became proactive. The guy was now technically her prisoner.

* * *

"Great car to handle."

"Thank you Finn. Thank you for driving carefully. Being an attorney I am obliged to keep within the law."

"I assumed that. Do you live in an apartment or a house?"

"A house, why?"

"I'd feel imprisoned in an apartment, probably inside alone all day and forbidden to go out."

"I'll not make a man out of you if I left you feeling you were imprisoned, physically and emotionally. When I am at the office you will be free to run circuits of the big park near us, to go to the mall and I'll pay a quarterly gym membership for you; it is a classy one with an all-year swimming pool attached. Either running or at the mixed gym you'll have the chance to make contact with females. What you do with those contacts is your business providing anything you do takes place during my office hours."

"Why would I want another woman when I have you?"

"Finn, please. I'm off bounds."

Alice felt her heart rate jump but there was more to come.

"How on earth can you make a man out of me if you are not to have at least deep emotional contact with me? Come on, answer that?"

"I-I'll answer."

"When?"

"Um, eventually."

Finn shook his head and stared ahead. "Anyway it doesn't matter what kind of program you have in your head. Providing I maintain good behavior for ninety days I'm out of your clutches and the clutches of the court system."

"Yes you are. But please Finn, if I begin to try give me a chance."

"Alice...I suppose I may call you that?"

"Yes of course."

"Alice, you are at liberty to try anything with me. Perhaps I should point out I haven't had sex for almost three weeks."

"W-watch the traffic and m-make a right turn up ahead Finn," Alice practically panted and felt the need to press her thighs together.

"May I work on your garden as I won't want to be at the gym or running around the park all day."

"Yes of course. The lawns are cut commercially but nothing has been done to the gardens since mom walked out on dad."

"Oh, sorry to hear that. When did that occur?"

"Fourteen years ago when I was fourteen."

"So you're twenty-eight, have auburn hair that I like, have a great figure and will have a clever mind. Is this project designed to turn me into becoming your lover?"

The way he'd begun that spiel had given Alice time to brace herself. She snorted, "You have to be kidding. There's your gym ahead on your left."

"Oh great, looks impressive."

"It is inside as well and equipment maintained to the highest standards. We can go down one evening. I have a card to admit a visitor for one session. I have your carry bag you brought into my office in the trunk. Where are your other personnel affects?"

"That's all I have. You can't bum around with suitcases of stuff."

"But where are all your childhood possessions and from your teenage years?"

"Dad will have burnt them. I knocked him down three years ago when he belted mom, making her cry and she was bleeding from the mouth. They threw me out of the house. My two sisters and brother wouldn't give me a bed for the night because dad had called them saying I was murderously aggressive, so I began the life I'd often thought about -- just bumming around with no responsibilities."

"How did you earn money to survive?"

"I'd set up with a drawing board and invite people to be sketched for ten bucks taking ten minutes. Not everyone accepted such an offer -- very few people actually -- but usually within four hours I'd have more money than I needed. When you bum around you can get knocked over the head and rolled if it becomes known you carry a lot of money. Up to eighty bucks is fairly safe but there are people out there who'd do you for a dollar, given the chance. The secret is to try to sleep where you can't be found. I've become expert at picking locks."

"Please Finn, don't tell me any more. Confessing crimes to me could land you in trouble."

"Once inside I'd act like the unofficial watchman. I reported two burglaries when being unofficial watchman and arrests were made."

"Finn, I'll ask dad to give you five hundred bucks to fund your garden work -- okay?"

"No, someone could bump me on the head for that kind of money. Could he set up a tab for me at a gardening supplies barn close by? Do you guys have a bicycle?"

"Yes dad used to bike with me but not anyone. I'll take it in and get new tires and tubes for you. What about a carrier for parcels?"

"Yeah, great idea. If you guys have a workshop I'll fit a box to the carrier."

"Yes, we have a workshop. But dad doesn't use it anymore."

"What, has he stopped living?" Finn joked and was mortified when Alice sniffed and said, "Yes, since fourteen years ago apart from his work and limited social life."

Morgan Keys arrived home just after 7:00 and Alice sat in his car in the garage to explain what had happened.

"You have been trained not to become involved with your clients," he frowned and frowned even deeper when told, "But he's your client; his parents engaged you."

"This could become very messy, very messy indeed. Where is he sleeping?"

"In the guest wing."

"Thank Christ for that."

"Daddy!"

"Okay, I'm sorry for thinking your enthusiasm to reform the reprobate had sexual connotations."

"Well not yet but don't count it out."

Morgan grinned and ruffled her short hair. "Well get the uncouth and anti-social defiance out of him and I won't mind you shifting into the guest suite with him. But not before, do you understand?"

"Yes daddy.

The men met in the family room for pre-dinner drinks. Alice made the introductions and crossed her fingers behind her back.

"Well you don't look half bad for a homeless man," said her father. "Almost average for our affluent neighborhood of Grange."

To Alice's dismay Finn bent almost double to perform perhaps like an orangutan, going "Ooooh-uuuugh-ooooh-tunagalagalug."

Her father laughed and said humor too.

"Welcome to our home," Morgan said and pulled his hand away as Finn went to lick it.

"Thank you sir. You have a fine home but a lousy garden. Your lovely daughter told me the garden has gone down hill since your wife walked out on your fourteen years ago."

Alice caught her breath and as her father glanced at her she studied the ceiling, almost choking.

"You seem remarkably well informed Finn. Is it fourteen years?"

"Alice is twenty-eight and she said it occurred when she was fourteen so you won't require a calculator. In case you're thinking she spoke to me out of turn I interrogated her because I wished to know about the environment into which I am being dumped and of its people. She indicated you work long hours, you two live comfortably together which is probably why she hasn't left home, you don't attend to the garden and don't ride your bike anyone so it's been given to me to ride while I'm here and you have a pathetic social life. Perhaps we two might succeed in pulling your out of your lethargy. You appear to work out at the gym. She didn't tell me that. It suggests you do have one or two lady friends to impress."

Morgan took the whisky Alice had poured and said, "Now look here young man. My private life is my business."

"Well how private is private? Just speculating you might have a couple of women on tap scarcely constitutes an invasion of privacy. I noticed you didn't thank Alice for your drink."

"Thank you Alice and you sir, with you around here I'd expect we are unlikely to be in for dull times. I have five women I date from time to five, not that it's any of your business."

"Five?" Alice said in surprise.

"Yes dear. Any fewer and they could become possessive. With five, whenever I call, the chosen lady is just grateful that I have called and being possessive just doesn't feature in her behavior pattern as it might if there were closer fraternity."

"You sly dog," Finn laughed and told Alice who was waiting to take his drink order that tap water, no ice, would be fine.

"I don't mind paying for your alcohol if you'll be working on the garden," said Morgan.

"And the house -- the exterior shows neglect and the kitchen needs renovating...the bathrooms are outdated and..."

"Whoa young man," Morgan laughed. "Let's see how you go on the garden first."

Later than evening Morgan was reading a law journal in the TV room and Alice worked on a brief. Finn had watched a football game using earphones.

"Well I'm off to bed," he accounted.

"Goodnight Finn," Morgan said. "It has been most interesting meeting you."

"Yes, goodnight Finn."

Finn looked at Alice and said, "You'll have a hard job reforming me. I'll help pave the way by asking you to stand up and kiss me goodnight."

Alice didn't look at her father. She stood up and offered a cheek. Finn cupped the far side of her jaw to swing her head his way and kissed her full on the lips.

Wide eyed, Alice watched him leave the room and gave her father a rude sign when he cackled and whispered, "Who's being reformed?"

Next morning Alice in her dressing gown was making coffee when Finn came in and slapped her butt. A coffee mug in her hand went flying and Finn leapt low and caught it.

"You fool," she snapped. "That's dad's favorite coffee mug -- mom brought it for him when they were on vacation."

"It's only china."

"That's just the kind of response I'd expect from you."

Alice had to reach up to take the coffee mug from him because he held it up high, teasing her. No, it wasn't teasing. As she grabbed the mug he pulled her gown open and said approvingly, "Oh, great pair."

He caught the dropped mug as Alice roared and cracked his face a real beauty, half stunning him. She looked to the ground for the pieces of mug and then looked up to find the mug safely in his hand. He was touching the new red mark across his cheek and grinning at her.

Alice burst into tears and ran from the room.

Finn knocked and Morgan said come in dear.

Finn said it was Finn and Morgan laughed and said come in dear.

Morgan was in his trousers but bare-chested in the bathroom, shaving with a hand razor.

He thanked Finn for the coffee and asked what was the commotion in the kitchen.

"Please get used to it Morgan. I'm antagonizing your daughter. She had no idea how to handle men, expecting them to kowtow to her as if she was a superior from another planet. After fourteen years she acts as if expecting her mother to walk in at any moment and from what she said I think I know who supports her in that thinking. She almost had a melt down when she told me who gave you this coffee mug and I said it was only a piece of china."

"Give her a break Finn, she was only fourteen when it happened."

"No, there will be no breaks. She's twenty-eight. Plenty of women her age are already mothers."

"You have to understand, we had to cling to something. She was howling night after night when no mother appeared at her bedside to kiss her good night. We clung to my assurance that her mother would be coming back."

"And you still give her that assurance."

"No, of course not. We haven't spoken about it for at least twelve years."

"It's unspoken but the thought lives on Morgan. Why haven't you divorced your wife?"

"Finn, this is none of your business. Just leave me to shave, fuck off."

"Your 28-year-old is blighted by something that happened fourteen years ago Morgan. Face it, don't be a coward."

The hand shaver dropped into the basin and Morgan's head dropped. "Go into my bedroom and have a close look around. She came back for her clothes but left everything else I'd given her over the years."

After looking around Finn returned to the bathroom. Morgan had resumed shaving.

"It's a fucking senseless shrine. When will Alice be away from home for a couple of nights?"