I'm Loving It Ch. 05

She nods, gnawing on a piece of complimentary bread from the basket, just as the waitress leaves our Cosmos.

"Oh my god that is so funny! It must've totally shrunk his ego a few notches."

"Like a spent cock! He said he doesn't want to see me anymore and I said 'okay'."

"He'll be back."

"I know. And then I'll make him beg for it."

We giggle at this and sip our drinks and I realize I haven't been having enough girl time at all lately. My life is better when I can let loose with the girls. And every movement she makes, every laugh, every toss of her hair, just makes me lust for her more. I remember her naked body beneath my fingers, just barely letting my finger graze her pussy. I am so hot for this girl! The anticipation eats away at me, and I find myself shifting a lot, playing with my hair, laughing too loud at her jokes.

She tells me about the rockstar too, who is just sweet and poetic and in love with her. It sounds like she's enjoying her time with him more, lots of late night talks and cuddling, and that it's a much different kind of time than the bar fun she has with Macho Man. I definitely feel more liking for this one than the jock. By the time we're done talking about her, we're halfway through our meal and our second cosmo.

I'm eating Bourbon Barrel Mahi Mahi, and Tamara's shoveling the Bruschetta chicken pasta down like she just spent two weeks on Weight Watchers. The food is good, and we trade bites by forking them into each other's mouths, which feels intimate and sweet. Until the table of drunk college guys nearby that's been not-so-subtly eyeballing us starts to cheer. We roll our eyes and ignore them, and still seem to only have eyes for each other, which I take to be a good sign.

One of the guys, egged on by beer muscles, stumbles over to our table. "Hello ladies," he says. "Sorry to interrupt, I just—"

"Don't be sorry, just fuck right off!" Tamara tells him, leveling an icy glare on him.

He looks slapped, and raises his hands in surrender. "You don't have to be a bitch—"

She cuts him off again, her eyes impaling him, "Apparently I do have to be a bitch to get you to leave us the fuck alone and stop interrupting us."

His bros hear that one and some laugh and a couple make "oooohhhh" noises.

Tamara has already forgotten them and turned her attention back on me. "So what's new with you?" she asks, not missing a beat. I smile at her, so impressed with how she handled that guy. I'm kind of in love with this girl—she feels stronger and smarter than a man, and more beautiful, too. I've got such an utter crush on her!

I think about telling her all the craziness that happened with Miko and Steve, and the sex party I want her to attend, but I'd rather do the massage first before complicating things with that. So instead I just tell her about James and the Giant Boner on my table, and we laugh about him. And I tell her that I laugh at him about it and he likes it. I use this to steer the convo around to sex and massage. "You know, if it were legal I would actually love to help him out," I tell her.

Her eyebrows get yanked upward by her shock. "Seriously? You mean like suck him off?"

I shrug. "Probably not that much. Just a rub and tug, you know? He's a sweet old guy who doesn't get any."

She laughs. "You're such a dirty bitch."

"I know."

"His sperm rides in wheelchairs!" She wisecracks. I laugh hard at this and she continues, using her hand to imitate walking with a cane and doing different voices for the sperm. "Come on boys, this is our last chance to get to the egg! Onward, through the pube forest! Oh no, this isn't a woman, this is James and the Giant Boner's hairy stomach! Aggghhh suicide mission!"

She has me cracking up so hard I'm snorting. I literally love this girl who's pretending to be James' army of sperm! My strap slips off my shoulder from my laughter, and suddenly she's reaching across the table, staring intently at me, and I feel her fingers guide the strap back up onto my shoulder.

Our eyes stay focused on each other for a long, hot moment.

"It's cool though," she says, breaking eye contact. "I don't judge. I'm a big whore too!" She cracks up and I look indignantly at her.

"I'm not a whore!" I say. "I'm just a little slutty." I give her what I hope is a devilish smirk. "So far I haven't ever hooked up with a client."

"I'm hoping that changes tonight," she says.

"Me too," I tell her breathily.

"You're so stunning, you know that?"

"So are you."

Tamara pays the check and we thank our waitress, ignoring the looks and comments from the jerks at the nearby table, and I follow her out of the bar. She is definitely the dominant one, if we were a couple. I love her strength and I'm happy to flow along and feel protected. It's different from Steve's strength, and it feels almost realer, or maybe just better to me. Am I a lesbian?

As we pull up to my office parking lot, I'm relieved that the other office windows are dark. That means none of the other tenants who share the waiting room with me will be there, which is good, because if something happens, I don't want to worry about being overheard.

In my office, Tamara looks around and says, "This place is cute." She doesn't wait to be asked, but just peels her top off, revealing her large, gorgeous breasts.

"They're beautiful," I say.

She steps toward me, reaching her hands to my waist and pulling me against her. Her lips find my own, infinitely soft and hungry as she presses them against me. Her breasts against mine sends a surge through my pussy—oh what this woman does to me! Her skin smells faintly of lavender, with something earthy in her hair like honey and clover.

Our bodies fit perfectly together, our lips explore slowly, infinitesimally slow, nipping gently at one another, exploring each others' shape. Her fingers remain on my hips, lightly kneading my flesh through my dress. I let my hands reach over to her body too, resting shyly on her hips. I don't know why I feel shy, I just do. She has a more voluptuous body than I do, and it's the kind of body I wish I had. Every woman wishes we had the body we don't—but Tamara's body is one of those magazine-perfect bodies. Everything curves the right way for her.

Her hands glide down to the sides of my ass, grabbing the fabric of my dress and pulling it up so I can feel the cool air against my butt. Then her hands are gripping the flesh of my cheeks, kneading them, squeezing, pulling me against her. Her right knee slides between my legs, running along my pussy, and I know I must be as slick as a river. My panties are soaked, I can feel the wetness, and I'm sure she can too.

My head spins as her lips kiss along my jawline and down to my neck, nibbling up to my ear, where I feel her hot breath before she whispers. "I think I'll give you a complimentary massage, you sexy little goddess." I'm humping her thigh now and she says, "Do you like that?"

"Oh my god, don't stop," I tell her.

Her whole body undulates against mine, and there's so much sensation overloading me. Her mouth is on mine again, then her hand is sliding down my dress and holding my breast, and all I feel is her heat and lust. Our tongues lick and suck each other, and then she's pinching my nipple and that pleasure shoots through me, moments later I feel her thigh move away between my legs, only to be replaced by her fingers. They slide around my underwear and up into my pussy, and I let out a deep moan. She feels so amazing I'm just barely holding on, how is she doing this to me, all of this at once?

Before I know it she's got me back against the massage table, and then my dress is sliding over my head, I'm dizzy, her fingers enter me again, pushing deeply and massaging my pussy. They slip unerringly to my G-spot, exploring and exploding fireworks inside my abdomen. Then I'm shuddering and bucking my hips and she's holding me up with her fingers hooked inside my pussy. I'm practically drooling on her shoulder, where my head nestles as I convulse through this orgasm. I'm jelly and she owns me.

As my mind returns from that place of infinite pleasure, minutes or hours later, I realize I'm lying on my back on the massage table, and she's curled on her side against me. She must've put me here, I wasn't aware of it happening. She feels so good breathing against me, and I realize her hand is cupping my vulva, gently, holding it like a treasure. How is it that everyone who fucks me just owns me so deeply? Am I some whore for every bidder?

There are changes happening in me lately, since cheating with Miko. I don't know what any of it means, but I feel like I'm opening more and more with every encounter I have.

I don't feel guilt that Steve doesn't know about this. Steve cannot know about this. Perhaps he can watch it sometime, but I'm not ready for that yet at all.

"You're amazing," I whisper to her.

"Thanks," she says simply.

I turn my head to look into her dazzling blue eyes. The sight of her face is almost too much to bear right now, and I just lean forward and push my mouth against hers. It's soft, so soft, and our kiss is as gentle as floating in salt water. Her fingers trace up from my pubis, sending a brief jolt through my clit that's gone so fast, just an airplane shadow passing over the sun. Then her fingertips wander between my hip bones, stirring the cauldron that just boiled over inside me, kindling more lust. I want to give her something back.

My left hand slides up, finding the heavy weight of her breast and gently taking it all in, moving around and over it, grazing her nipple. Her lips sigh open in a sensual gasp, and I play with her breast, wanting it in my mouth. My lips trace along her cheek, pausing at her ear to lick along it and teasingly slip inside. She moans, and I tongue her ear some more, following her cues, loving how her body writhes when I do this.

Then I move downward, softly licking her neck, then nibbling. She pulls my head against her neck, so I start gnawing on it, tonguing and sucking at it, even letting my teeth sink into her silky flesh. Her lavender makes me heady and I quickly let my tongue roll across her clavicle so that my lips can hungrily devour her breasts. They're neither firm nor soft, but something in between, not quite teenage flesh but certainly nowhere near the flesh of a mature woman. Warm, succulent, I take mouthfuls of her, letting the contours of her breast guide me to her nipple. She clenches and gasps as my lips crawl over her nipple, then back to the flesh of her beautiful boobs. Her nipple begins hardening against my lips as my tongue massages it, and I put my hand on her ass and pull her against me. Her nipple fills my mouth and I suck hungrily on her.

"Oh god oh I like that, yes, yes, ooohhh, it's good, uhhhh," she is incoherently moaning and loving my mouth and writhing like she wants to osmose me.

I let my hand slide across her ass, down to her bare thigh, and then up her miniskirt so I can feel the tender, hot flesh of her ass. Her hips are fleshy and soft but beneath that I can feel strong muscles and I know she works hard to stay in shape. What a flawless body she has. I'm not even jealous though, I'm just happy to be pleasuring it.

Taking her other breast in my mouth I ravage it with my lips and tongue. She's moaning, her voice so sexy it makes me super wet and turned on. She rolls over onto me so that I'm almost on my back with her boobs smothering my face, and she brings her thigh between my legs again, undulating her body, humping my face with her boobs and my crotch with her leg. I'm lost again in her sweet softness and sexiness, and she is taking charge again, pleasuring me again. I feel my pussy building from her touch and I have a mini-orgasm right there. And she is rubbing her pussy against my thigh, it's hot and soaking wet against my leg. Her aggressiveness turns me on—to feel a body that's all woman taking control of me is so delicious, and like nothing I've experienced before. I've been with women, but this is deeper, sexier, and so fulfilling. I feel in love with her, in love with what she's doing to me, and I feel safe with her in a way that a man has never made me feel safe.

She's grabbing my ass, grinding her leg against my clit with nothing but my sopping wet underwear separating us. I let my hand slowly venture across her hip to her upper thigh. That thigh is grinding against me but I follow the contours and slither my fingers up her miniskirt, feeling her soaking satin panties with the backs of my fingers.

"Tamara, I want to taste you," I tell her.

"Ooh please taste me," she says, sounding so submissive.

Navigating the massage table has been a bit tricky, so I slide off of it and pull my shiatsu mat out from underneath the table. It's rolled up in a circle, like a wrestling mat, only softer, and I unroll it onto the floor. It's a queen sized mat, so we basically have a comfy bed for ourselves here on the floor.

Tamara is sitting on the massage table still, and I'm on my knees in front of her, , looking down her thighs to her shaved crotch. I stare at her soft thighs spreading on the edge of the table, her supple muscles, all of it drawing me inward to that smooth V. I take her ass in my hands and pull her forward off the table, my mouth seeking her crotch where the smell and feel of her panties makes me heady with desire. I kiss and nibble her lips through the fabric, and then pull the underwear down to her ankles. She steps out of them and my eyes take in the beauty of her pussy. To my surprise she is shaved completely now, her bare lips like a red canna flower, succulent and hungry for mine.

She smiles as she notices my shock, and I'm sure my hunger is evident to her even before the siren's song of her vagina pulls me to it. Her skin is so soft as my lips meet it, and the taste of her defies description. She is both musky and sweet, and her juices cover my lips and tongue, seeping and oozing and dripping down my chin as I make out with her ravishing pussy. The heat from it is incredible, overwhelming, and before I know it she is kneeling on my face and undulating against me and I have become a mouth, and nothing more. Her thighs spread to either side of me and my hands grab her ass, pulling her against my mouth. Her soft lips land against my tongue again and again, taking off and landing, soaring against my mouth. My own pussy throbs with her body, and her hand tangles in my hair, pulling my mouth tightly against her as she mouth fucks me with her pussy. I stick my tongue inside her, slurping her juices, swallowing them, and she begins quivering and screaming as her cum floods my mouth like a tsunami. I feel myself releasing as she does, in a mini orgasm that spreads from between my legs up into my belly and even tickling my throat and the top of my head. Oh god, I just drink and drink trying to lap up every bit of her nectar, though I can't, it's running down my face, far more cum than any man could ever give me, and it tastes much sweeter than any man's cum.

Tamara's body collapses on top of me, her stomach smothering my face. Her thighs are still trembling and I hold her in my arms, two flesh goddesses made one and shivering together.

"Aura," she whispers.

"Yes Tammy?"

"I think I love you."

I'm quiet. I understand. I think I love her, too, but I don't want to say it.

She slides down so that her body covers mine. Her face shines with radiant beauty, lips puffy and eyes almost glowing as she looks at me. Her lips lean softly against mine, taking my mouth into hers. Her tongue glides lightly along my lip, into my mouth.

I kiss her back, and my body stirs again, a fire surging up from my womb and consuming everything else, sparking synapses all over me. I'm so hot for her again, like instantly I am lit up inside, tonguing with her, exploding with lust and fireworks.

"No rest for the wicked," she says, eyes gleaming. Her mouth leaves a hungry trail of wetness behind it as she takes my neck, my breasts, my stomach, writing her signature on them, showing me she owns me. I didn't tell her I love her back, but she is showing me that I do, making me know it.

Her mouth teases my abdomen, then my thighs, tickling along the edges of my labia, throbbing ache and heartache radiating from me as this woman shows me I am hers. Tell her you love her tell her you love her stop this pain, my mind says to me. But I can't. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind Steve is guilt-tripping me and I can't declare my love for her unless I am willing to let go of him. But I'm not, for some reason.

She doesn't wait for me. Her lips swallow mine into them, and I cannot tell where they end and her tongue begins. I am simply at her mercy, she swirls me, in and around and across and outside and over and through and beneath and before I can even figure out where my head is floating, it explodes. This is the creation of the universe. This is the way the truth the light, the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end. Except it never ends. She brings me there, and I cannot leave. In the distance I'm aware of my voice screaming into the night, the walls of the office building coming apart, rebuilding themselves into strands of myself. My eyes flutter open but there's no making sense of the colorful tapestries and lights in my office, it is all two-dimensional. It is me and I am it. She is nowhere in sight, and what is left of my body undulates like a vigorous storm, Atlantic breakers crashing over and over, the roar of fire in my ears, she is like a sex lamprey stuck to me, sucking everything I am into her, a whirlpool of pleasure churning in my center towards her, she is the sun and I am the solar system, she is the bright center of the Milky Way and I am the galaxy.

And I die over and over again, reborn into new skin each time, I am so beautiful, she shows me. I float through stars and see the stardust become my hair cascading down my body, the follicle of every downy hair on my stomach and arms and legs tingles, I am stardust I am stardust. She whispers that I am the stars themselves. How did you get here, I ask her. Where, she says. In my head, I reply.

I am you, you are me. Feel this love, we are everything and nothing.

I must've slept. I wake, taking in the unfamiliar room stretching above me. It takes moments for the dimness of my office to come into focus and assert itself, and then I remember. I feel her against me before I turn to see her. Oh she is beautiful, the most beautiful thing I have ever comprehended. Her naked body rises and falls like a sunlit Caribbean beach, and she is the sun itself. I love her. I remember little except she took me somewhere I have never been, somewhere I want to live forever, a place that is me but that I forget about. During my normal waking hours it is as though I walk through life forgetting I am a goddess. I fuss in mirrors, I shrink into my head, withering sometimes beneath the gaze of people, feeling judged, feeling inadequate, wishing I was prettier. And yet this woman had shown me something new—that I am none of those things, that this voice in my head is not me. What I am is profound and radiant, like her, like all women. Like all men, even. None of us can see our true beauty, I realized.

Tamara must've felt me looking at her, because her eyes fluttered open. A smile slid cleverly onto her lips as if she could see clearly inside my head.

"Do I look like a deer in headlights?" I asked.

"More like a school girl in love," she said coyly.

"Mmm," I said. "I'll plead the fifth."

She smiled. I still couldn't tell her my heart, for fear of what I would uncover beneath this heavenly glow.

Thoughts of Steve and Miko were far away and I found myself hardly caring about the silly little sex party. It couldn't possibly live up to what I'd experienced tonight!