I'm Mad as Hell...Get Off My Lawn!

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All characters portrayed in this story are over the age of 18-years-old. There are no minor characters in this story.

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"I'm mad as Hell and I won't take it anymore. Now, get the fuck off my lawn!"

If you think terrorists are angry, think again. The average middleclass American is much angrier. The average middleclass American is more dangerous than any terrorist.

"What's that old woman doing walking down the middle of the street? Hey, lady, get on the sidewalk before a car hits you," said a police officer sitting in his patrol car drinking his coffee and eating his donut. "She's reaching in her purse for something."

"Gun! Gun! Oh, my God! She has a gun," said his partner. "Down! Get down!"

The woman pulled out her handgun, a cheap, used Saturday night special that she bought on the corner for fifty bucks, and taking aim, she shot at the police car as her protest for change.

"Bang! Bang! Bang, bang, bang!"

The officers returned fire and she lay in the street dead but she said all that she needed to say. Obviously, she was mad as Hell and wasn't going to take it anymore. Not necessarily mad at the police or at those two particular police officers, they just happened to be there at the wrong time and in the wrong place. They were just her symbol of inequality and unfairness. She had been raped and molested in the back of a patrol car many times before when she was working as a prostitute. With her high on crack cocaine, willing to do something, anything, even if it cost her life, she took her stand.

There were a lot of angry people living in that slum of a neighborhood. Emerging from out of nowhere like rats and roaches, the police called for backup when residents surrounded their patrol car and smashed their windows. It wasn't safe, even for the police to be in that neighborhood. Now that they shot an elderly, black woman, the people who lived there were angrier at the police than they had ever been. It would take a lot of community policing to get them back in line.

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

Maxine pitied the poor terrorists who'd dare invade our country. She pitied the poor terrorist who'd come face to face with our inner city rats of human beings living in Detroit, Chicago, Los Angeles, or from any of the other hundreds of impoverished and blighted inner city neighborhoods. Showing them no mercy, late to the party but peeking out of boarded up doorways, broken windows, and abandoned cars, while armed to the teeth with deadly firepower, a hail of bullets would rain out upon them from every direction.

Just for the fun and/or the sport of it, street gangs would surely band together, if even only temporarily, to fight a common enemy. Our ghetto, territorial curmudgeons would surely kill any invaders without hesitation or provocation. Angry, deprived, and underprivileged people didn't need a reason to shoot and kill someone before but now that they had a reason, along with a free pass with immunity, they were happy to oblige with impunity.

"Bang! Bang! Bang, bang, bang!"

After shooting those terrorists who dare invade our country, they'd tear them to pieces with their bare hands or cut them to pieces with their big, butcher and machete knives. With the rage that they had for their impoverished conditions the driving force behind their anger, payback is a bitch, bitch. With no one else to take out their violent frustrations but their own poor people, wishing they could murder rich, white people instead, they'd love for Middle Eastern terrorists to accommodate their need for daily, deadly violence. With block after block of run down homes and abandoned cars littering the street with uncollected trash and garbage, their neighborhood already looked like a bomb out city in Syria.

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

"Get off my lawn," yelled Clint Eastwood in the movie, Gran Torino.

We all have a little Clint Eastwood in us when it comes to taking a stand and/or salvaging the small piece of land that the bank allows us to have, as long as we continue paying our mortgages. Yet, even after we're done paying off the bank, there are still those always increasing real estate taxes that elderly, senior citizens are unable to afford to pay. Sadly, unless we live in our cars and don't pay car insurance, registration, and licensing, we never totally own are homes. The only way to eliminate those nasty, money eating taxes are by declaring ourselves a charity, a church, or an institution of higher learning.

Only, wishing we could, we all can't live the good and Holy life in the way of a Joel and Victoria Osteen.

"Praise the Lord. Hail Jesus! Amen," whenever Joel and/or Victoria took the stage.

A pyramid of corruption, some of us must remain at the bottom to give balance and steady hands to a country that's already too top heavy with wealth, power, and influence. If we weren't all at the very bottom holding up the rest of those rich, blowhard assholes, our country would topple over, fall, and disappear in the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.

Curiously enough though, when the United Way, the Catholic Church, and Harvard University are rich enough to afford to pay taxes, why don't they? Especially when we're poor enough not to afford to pay our exorbitant share of taxes, why must we pay not only our share of taxes but also their share too? That's not right. Taxing the poor but not taxing the rich doesn't seem fair. Taxing the poor doesn't seem rational when we must pay taxes but they don't pay too

Perhaps if we could afford lobbyists, we'd have the ears of the politicians and wouldn't have to pay as much taxes. Perhaps if we could afford to fatten the campaign chests of greedy politicians, we'd not only have their ears but also we'd be able to exert enough pressure and leverage for them to change the tax laws in our favor too. Yet, with us faceless nobodies, millions of powerless people, most of us don't even have the influence to get a better, higher paying jobs. Most of us are stuck just where we are.

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

"Where's the beef?"

It took a Wendy's commercial showing a dissatisfied, elderly woman to express how most people felt about the small portions of fast food restaurants. Even elderly women, especially the so called entitled, elderly women living on their meager Social Security want their dollar to go as far as it did back in the 50's and 60's. Wendy's hit a homerun with their commercial when Burger King infuriated customers by making their hamburger bun much bigger than their hamburger patty.

"Where's the beef should have been what really is the beef? Surely the real beef wasn't the miniscule size of a fast food hamburger. The real beef was prices continuing to escalate daily while wages remained flattened for the past forty years."

Unfortunately, a lunch that could be bought for a couple of dollars not that long ago, now cost nearly ten dollars at McDonalds.

"Jesus! When did that happen? McDonalds used to be cheap."

Forget about where's the beef, where's the value? Forget about Happy Meals, I'm not happy with the quality of this meal for the amount of money that I must pay. Where's the beef has now changed to where's the value?

"Hey, if you're going to fuck me in the ass, at least feed me a better meal than what's on the fast food menu."

Unfortunately to the detriment of all of us, the only value we receive are when buying goods made in China. Yet, even then much of what comes from China is junk. Toys made with lead paint and chew toys that make our dogs sick, we can't find similar American made items if we tried. Our real beef is that we lost most of our manufacturing jobs to China. When did that happen? How did that happen? Again, too busy working and watching Dancing with the Stars, I didn't get the memo.

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

"Increase the minimum wage and equal pay for both men and women!"

As if being double taxed, women earn 21% less than a man doing the same job. How is that fair? It isn't. How is that legal. It is.

For every $100 a man earns, a woman is paid $79. That doesn't seem fair, especially when we all have wives, girlfriends, significant others, mothers, and sisters all being so cheated while working for less than what men earn. That doesn't seem right, especially when husbands and wives both must work and when people are working two and three part-time jobs just to make ends meet.

The suppressed minimum wage and equal pay for both men and women are still sore issues among poor, lower class, and middleclass Americans. With their signs, pitchforks, and burning torches at the ready to storm the White House, a resolution may not happen until Americans elect a female President, ala Hillary Clinton and a female Vice President, ala Elizabeth Warren. Maybe then, the minimum wage will be increased across the country. Maybe then, women will receive the same pay for the same work.

I seriously doubt it but I still believe in unicorns, Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny. I still believe you when you tell me that the check is in the mail and/or you won't cum in my mouth. Until then, and good luck with that, all we women can continue to do is to protest against men in a man's world.

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

"Gay men and lesbian women have the right to marry!"

There's hope. In of all countries, the land of the golden, Vatican City, Italy just approved same sex civil unions. Unbelievable. How about that? Now if only the Catholic Church would allow nuns to become priests, as if that would ever happen, that would be a big step towards equality for all men and women, even those lowly women in the Catholic Church. If only the Catholic Church would allow priests and nuns to marry so that priests would abstain from abusing altar boys and nuns would refrain from having lesbian sex behind convent walls, we'd really be getting somewhere.

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned," said Sister Mary Elizabeth. "I had lesbian sex with Mother Superior."

Father O'Malley put a priestly hand to the back of the nun's head.

"Sexual relations between a man and a man and a woman and a woman are not only forbidden but also are sins in the eyes of our Lord and in the preaching of Catholic Church," said the priest.

He unzipped himself and removed his prick from his pants. His sacred cock was tattooed with the image of Jesus crucified on the cross.

"Say ten Hail Mary's silently while allowing me to get you back on the right track by having you suck my holy penis and cumming in your mouth, Sister," said the priest.

"Thank you, Father, and God Bless you," said Sister Mary Elizabeth.

The priest looked down at the nun with his beady, brown eyes while the nun stared up at him with her big, blue eyes.

"Amen," said Father O'Malley. "God bless you too, Sister," he said making the sign of the cross over her head. "Now, no talking. Just suck, Sister. Suck Jesus."

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

Count to one-hundred-and-seven. Go ahead. Count aloud or silently to one-hundred-and-seven. Did you count? Every one-hundred-and-seven seconds a woman is sexually assaulted and/or raped. Each year, nearly three-hundred-thousand women over the age of twelve must worry if they're pregnant after being forced to have sex with an intruder, their uncle, their brother, their father, their priest, their teacher, or their neighbor. Each year, nearly three-hundred-thousand women over the age of twelve must make the decision to have an unwanted baby or to abort an unwanted baby.

"It's a woman's body and her right to choose!"

Courts and lawmakers should mind their own business and allow each woman the right to choose if she wants an abortion or if she wants to continue to carry an unwanted baby to term. We already have too many abused children in foster care. Other than to cum in their mouths, fuck their pussies, bone their asses, and stare at their naked photos, what the Hell do men know about a woman's body anyway? Nothing! Absolutely nothing. Live in our high heeled shoes, uncomfortable pantyhose, and too tight bras for a day to see the Hell we must pay in being lowly women while smiling and being nice while being treated like shit.

"Fuck you! It's my body and my right to choose."

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

"I'd rather go to jail than to die and fight in a white man's oil war of greed! Hell no! We won't go!"

We heard that familiar refrain, "Hell No, We Won't Go," when the draft was in place during the 60's and the Vietnam conflict was raging. Now, with us having an all-volunteer military, we don't hear that refrain, not so much, unless it's related to something else, a workers' strike perhaps. Still, in the discriminatory way that blacks and other minorities are unfairly treated in our country by white people, and lacking in employment and education opportunities, if I was a person of color, I'd never serve in the United States military.

"Nope, uh-uh. No me. Hell no! I won't go!"

Cassius Clay, as Muhammad Ali, set the precedent for going to jail rather than serving in the military. The Black Power Salute at the 1968 Olympics showed the world how unfairly the United States treated people of color back than and still do. If I was a person of color, I'd never salute the white man's flag of the United States of America.

"Fuck that shit. Salute your own damn flag. You brought me here from Africa now deal with it. You stole the land from the Indians, now deal with that too. Atlanta Braves and Cleveland Indians my ass when both teams are owned by billionaire white men."

Even though the United States of America most certainly is a country for one and for all, in truth, equality, justice, and fairness is not for you or for me. This is a rich, white man's country. Dating back to the 17th century, there's an entire underground of enormously rich and influential white, elderly men who really run the country. Our commander in chief and leader of the free world is not the President of the United States.

By donating their money and peddling their influence, it's the secret society of elderly, billionaire, white men, those who tell Congress, the Supreme Court, and our President what to do and when to do it. If the President hopes to have his or her legislation passed in Congress, if the President hopes to be reelected again, and if the President doesn't want to be assassinated, he or she had better do their bidding. These men and select few women not only run this country but also they own you. The rest of us are just squatters.

"Hell No! We Won't Go!"

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

"I'm mad as Hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!"

Sticks and stones may break my bones but my Smith & Wesson 500 magnum will surely blow your head to pieces.

"Bang! Bang! Bang, bang, bang!"

Gun violence was the way of the wild west back in the 19th century. Gun violence is the way of our cities in the 21st century. Whether working at a job, going to school, shopping at a mall, eating in a restaurant, sitting in our cars, or standing in line to see a movie, we're not safe anywhere.

"Take that, you assholes," said a disgruntled postal worker after being fired from his job and seeking his revenge by shooting his boss and co-workers. "How do you like me now?"

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

If people think terrorists, the North Koreans, or the Russians are the angriest people in the world, think again. Just because middleclass Americans don't use suicide bomb vests to kill innocent women and children, our inner city streets are responsible for killing more people than any war. Just because we don't have a dictator in the image of Kim Jong-un or a president in the image of Vladimir Putin, doesn't mean we don't have murderers who are just as deadly and just as crazy. As a population, with us possessing a gun for nearly every man, women, and child, we almost have more guns than we do people and more ammunition than any military arsenal.

"Get off my lawn!"

There's no rage like the rage of an American man or woman who had been terrorized for years and who had been emotionally, physically, and/or sexually abused. Just ask any United States Postal worker, police officer, TSA agent, combat veteran, nurse, teacher, or city and state worker. There's no rage like the rage that someone with Post Traumatic Stress has. The pent up abuse they've suffered at the hands of their mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, wives, husbands, employers, the general public, or the enemy would surpass the rage that suicide bombers feel when they're ready to die for Allah.

"You wanna die? Then, lemme help you," said a gang member peeking out of a doorway and shooting the terrorist in the head before he or she could even answer his question and detonate his or her suicide vest.

Do you want to see real anger? Do you want to see real rage? Do you want to witness real violence? Look into the dead, soulless eyes of any poor, inner city kid who had nothing, no mother, no father, no food, and was forced to sell drugs. Look into the angry eyes of any woman who was forced to strip herself naked for money and forced to have sex with men she normally wouldn't even say hello to on the street. Trust one of them by turning your back on them and you'd be lucky if they only thing taken was your wallet and not your life.

When someone had been beaten down long enough, look out. When someone's head had been pushed, pressed with a knee, and held with a hand to the pavement, watch out because when they suddenly spring up, they're deadly. There's no pent up rage like what the general population feels when the top one percent literally have everything and they literally have nothing.

America is about fairness. Americans are about doing the right thing. What happened with the financial meltdown wasn't fair for all of those people who lost their homes. When none of those multi-millionaire bankers and brokers weren't arrested and jailed, that wasn't right. When all of our jobs went overseas to China and every other third world country, that wasn't fair or right. Now their price to pay, we're all angry. We're all mad as Hell and we're not going to take it anymore.

"They literally have it all and we literally have nothing."

When did that happen? How did that happen? Why did that happen? Seriously? A mere three million people have more than the other two-hundred-ninety-seven million people? Are you kidding me? Is this America or is this North Korea or Russia? That doesn't seem fair. That's not right. This is supposed to be America, the land of opportunity, but for who? Not for you, not for me, and not for the masses but only for a select few thieves.

*** MadMadMadMaxine ***

There's no pent up rage like the rage of not having a decent job and watching all of our jobs disappearing overseas to third world countries. There's no rage like the rage that parents feel when they don't have money enough to buy food to feed and clothe their children or to even take their kid to see the doctor or dentist and/or buy medicine. There's no rage like the rage that the sick, the elderly, the poor, and the infirmed feel when they can't afford proper healthcare. With those on Social Security not receiving an increase in benefits in years, the fat cats receive their multi-million dollar bonuses every year. Yet, we're deemed entitled because we collect unemployment insurance for jobs lost and Social Security after being retired from working all of our lives.

"How dare they call us the entitled when they have everything and we have nothing?"

Many countries around the world revere and take care of their elderly but not the United States. In America many of the elderly must make a choice of buying their prescription medication or buying more cat food, when they don't even have a cat. What the fuck? Where did all of those unions go who promised us all a paper parachute instead of a golden one in our retirement years. Since when are the poor, infirm, and the elderly deemed the entitled ones? Entitled to what? Again, we have nothing and they have everything.