Imagine

Fully sheathed, Jimmy's body took on a shimmering luster, and he laid his golden-curled head back into the cleft of the tenant's shoulder, opened his eyes to Hal, and let him know in no certain terms that it was Hal who was taking him. The monster began to pump slowly and then ever quicker. Hal felt one with the movement, his gasps and groans meeting the rhythm and tenor of the fucking machine. He didn't realize just how much he was melding into the scene, though, until he looked up and watched the monster's face slowly morph into his own features.

"How can you paint in this gloom?"

Hal lifted his head, groggy from so much he was leaving unsaid, undone.

"No, I'm done for now. I was just sitting here . . . thinking . . . or something."

Hal looked up at Jimmy, who was nearly dancing around the room, overflowing with exuberance, and beauty . . . aching beauty. Hal stood and moved to the window and looked out toward the river, in too much pain to look at Jimmy.

"Guess what," Jimmy bubbled. "I've been to Staunton. Seen Gretchen. You remember Gretchen, don't 'ya? We were at school together?"

"Oh, yes, Gretchen. The Gretchen of your first-semester college crush, would that be?"

"Yeah, that Gretchen. Well, guess what. She's got an art teaching job at a high school down in Winston Salem. And . . . and she wants me to go down with her. I don't know. What we're doing here . . ."

"I think that's a great idea," Hal said, and he turned and gave the best smile he could muster to his little half brother. And then his smile broadened. Because he realized that this was lifting a burden off his shoulders. He should be miserable, he knew, but that's not what he felt. This was best for all. His urge would recede, he knew it. It didn't have to be Jimmy. It couldn't be Jimmy. It was tearing him apart that it might be Jimmy.

"Oh, that's great then. I didn't know . . ."

Hall looked hard at Jimmy. Jimmy really did think it was great, he could see. There was nothing in Jimmy's mind that had been in his. This was best. Yes, the very best thing that could happen. He turned his face back to the window.

"What are you looking at so intently?" Jimmy asked, coming over to stand close beside his older brother.

Hal's spirits soared. Jimmy was standing right next to him. For weeks Hal had trembled and fought his urges just to have Jimmy in the same room with him. The cloud was lifted. Now he was sure of it.

"I'm just looking at that shack of mine over by the river edge."

"Thinking of fixing it up? Putting a tenant in it or something?" Jimmy asked. "I think you did say something about doing that."

"No. I think it's beyond repair. See, the roof has caved in over that bedroom area already. Hasn't been anyone living in there for decades. No, I think the best thing to do is just to have it torn down and the trash hauled off. All it's good for now is to get someone hurt. And we wouldn't want that, would we?"

"I thought you once said that, with a little imagination, it could be quite a desirable place," Jimmy said.

"I said that?" Hal answered. "I don't know what I was thinking if I said imagination could bring any good out of that pile of festering wood. No. No. I think it comes down and disappears."