Imagine There's Still Love Ch. 04

It was such a surreal experience. No dishes to wash. Only his own laundry to do, such as it was. There was a real sense of loss and longing at not having anything to do for his Goddess. He missed performing those tasks for her, even though she never seemed to care about whether he did them.

Should he call her and tell her where he was? Should he text her? What would he say? Did he want her knowing that he had been doing? Did he want her knowing he had been drinking so much that he could not drive himself home?

He wanted to escape from his own longing and desire. He wanted to be normal and not need so much emotion and passion from her. He wanted her there to demand everything from him. He wanted to stop wanting so much. He turned his blackberry off and closed his eyes.

They were not pleasant dreams. He slept fitfully, but somehow awoke far more refreshed than he had expected. No hangover at all; that was nice. After doing his business on the toilet he stepped into the shower and turned the water on to a gentle luke warm temperature he so enjoyed in the morning, then grabbed the shaver and toothbrush out of the travel kit. The spray of water helped him fully wake up, and he like shaving and brushing his teeth as the water cascaded over him. On a whim even took the time to shave his cock and balls thoroughly, pretending in his mind that Lucy really cared if he did that task for her. He dried off and slathered his face and scrotum with shaving balm before putting his panties back on. They felt stiff and rough and scratchy, but at least they were clean.

His suit still looked good when he finished getting dressed.

He paused for some eggs and toast in the lobby, then strolled back towards work with a large coffee in hand. It was a beautiful Saturday morning for March. There was only a hint of clouds and the temperature was mild.

He had a moment of inspiration, a vision of not having the responsibilities of being married, of not having anything to do or anywhere to go. Was this what life by himself would be like? Could he live like this? Maybe. It felt a little like traveling, and he had traveled enough on business by himself that he knew he could survive alone like this if he had to.

Was that what last night was about; finding out if he was okay without Lucy? He was not sure, but he did feel somewhat relieved this morning for some reason.

He discarded the idea of going into work at all, but stopped to check in with security before retrieving his car. He was on the freeway towards home before he remembered to turn his blackberry back on. After cycling through the startup program, the device began to signal missed calls and messages. He glanced down at the screen as he drove, then felt his face flush as he noted that Lucy had been calling every fifteen minutes since just after midnight.

What was he supposed to do now? Truth was that he had known all along that this was the likely outcome. Had he done it on purpose? Was he trying to make her mad? Was he trying to get her attention? How would he have felt if she had done that to him?

That was it. He made the connection, and the realization rather stunned him. That was exactly what he wanted form her. The unknown, the fear, the dread, the excitement, and the challenge to do what he was told to do even if he did not really want to. He would have been so angry, so fearful, so completely excited if she had done that to him, and that was what he had been trying to experience.

Could he ever explain that to her?

He sent her a text message that told her he would be home in less than twenty minutes.

She was standing in the open front doorway when he pulled his car into the driveway. She was wearing her old housecoat, and she looked very tired and grumpy. He got out of his car slowly, retrieving his briefcase before he closed his door and tentatively approached where she was waiting and glaring at him.

"Good morning, Lucy," he said. "Sorry about last night."

"Who is she?" she demanded in a low and controlled voice that surprised him.

Jon managed not to smile, managed no expression at all. That was not the question he had expected, and the shock of it made him suddenly very thankful that he had left the Jazz Club before either of those women made a gesture and something had a chance to start. He shook his head as he met her gaze.

"I wouldn't do that," he answered, wondering if he was being completely honest with her, and himself.

She breathed a quick sigh. Was that a sigh of relief?

"Angela told me your car was in the lot all night...but you scanned out of the building at six thirty."

Now he did allow a bit of a smile.

"Angela left before I did. How did she know when I left?"

"She checked the security system from her laptop at home. And before you even think about reprimanding her, you should know that I told her it was a family emergency."

Jon shrugged and nodded.

"There are fifty people in the corporation who would kill to hire her away from me. I'm not stupid enough to even mention this to her."

"Good. So where were you?"

"Listening to jazz and drinking too much whiskey. Stayed at the Marriott."

"That's what Angela told me. She checked on your card activity."

"Then why ask me?"

"You be careful of your tone with me." Her eyes were blazing. "I wanted to see if you would lie to me. How do I know you were alone?"

Jon flushed and managed to shrug. He was of two minds. He was near not caring what she thought, and at the same time he was completely consumed by the need for her to believe and demand that he always had been and always would be faithful.

"I guess you don't know if I was alone. I guess you don't know if I'm telling you the truth. I suppose I might lie to you."

"Are you lying to me?"

"I never have before. I never wanted to."

"Are you now?"

"No," he answered, feeling tears swell his vision.

She seemed to perceive his emotion and honesty. Why was he feeling so emotional?

"I believe you," she said. "Was this your way of trying to teach me a lesson?"

"I don't know...I don't think so."

"Was this your way of trying to show me what you want from me?"

He stared at her, flush with the surprise of her intuition. She did know what he was thinking.

"I thought so," she replied to the unanswered question. "Now take your clothes off."

Jon frowned and started up the two steps to where she was waiting.

"I don't think so," he muttered as he moved to get past her.

He heard the switch whip through the air, then quickly looked up to see Lucy holding it up in front of him.

"You can go back to the Marriott for the rest of the week-end, or you can take all of your clothes off right there."

Jon pulled up short on the middle step, glancing from the switch in her hand to her eyes. There was no smile on her lips, and there was no doubt that the intense gaze he was looking into was Lucinda's. He knew he could not reason with her, and he sensed that they were at some kind of crossroad.

He could storm past her, ignore her and deal with all of the pain that confrontation might involve. Was he ready for that? He could get back in his car and leave, perhaps stay at the motel for the week-end as she had suggested. Did he really want that?

Hell...he adored her...he always had. He wanted her commands to be real. He did not believe that she was committed to this, but he wanted it so bad that he was willing to give her every benefit of the doubt.

Maybe he could just do as she told him and remove his clothes. What would come next? He really was not very interested in being spanked, but some of that was probably going to be involved. He knew there would need to be some punishment.

Or was he perhaps willing to be spanked? That had been part of his fantasies before.

Should he use the safe phrase and just be done with this whole silly business? Was he willing to take the first step toward the end of his marriage? Stupid random thought.

He met her gaze, and slowly the terrible magic of those eyes worked their spell on him. He stepped back and set his briefcase down by her feet. Was he really going to remove his clothes here in front of their house? It was not as though the idea of being forced to be naked had never crossed his mind. A few of his fantasies were really not so very different than this. The mixed emotions and thoughts that were dancing through his brain just then were rather overpowering.

Maybe he could start slow. Maybe he could appease her just a little bit. He removed his coat and she immediately reached to take it from him. He removed his tie and she quickly took that too, then bent to drape the coat over his briefcase. This was going faster than he had intended. He bent down and slowly untied first one shoe and then the other, without bothering to take them off.

"Here," she said sharply, holding out a hand.

He handed her one shoe and then the other. She quickly tossed them into the house behind her.

"Socks too...and give me the belt," she barked.

He hopped on one foot as he removed his sock, then hopped on the other foot as he removed the other sock. In spite of himself he felt rushed to remove his belt and hand it to her.

"Now the shirt," she said.

He glanced over his shoulder as if to make sure nobody was watching him, then slowly unbuttoned the shirt and removed it. Lucy practically ripped it from his hands.

"Well, I don't see any marks on you. Let me see your back."

Jon turned in an awkward pirouette.

"Now get the pants off," she said as she placed the shirt on top of the jacket at her feet. "Hurry up."

Jon bent to push the slacks to the ground, then stood up holding the pants in front of himself as he tried to hide his growing erection, once more glancing over his shoulder to see if anyone in the neighborhood might be watching. Was being naked out here worse than being seen in Victoria Secret panties? Well, the growing stiffness in crotch was certainly a complication, but he was consumed by her spell.

"Panties too," she said as she grabbed the slacks from him and bent to fold them over the briefcase.

Jon breathed a deep sigh and stared hard at her as she stood back up.

"What are you waiting for?" Lucy snapped, whacking the door with the switch.

He flinched and his hands found the elastic of his panties.

"Do we have to do this out here?" he pleaded.

"According to your journal you like being naked...especially in front of other women. Maybe I should invite some of the wives in the neighborhood over to watch too."

There was a stark defiance in her eyes. Jon felt his hands slowly begin to push the panties off of his butt and down his thighs. His hard penis sprang free, but he managed to hide it momentarily as he pushed the panties down to his feet and stepped out of them. When he stood back up he tried feebly to cover himself with his hands and the panties, but she was having none of that. Lucy snapped the fingers of her left hand and held out her palm, her eyes still blazing. Jon reached over and placed the panties in her hand.

Lucy quickly raised the panties to her face and inhaled through her nose. There was a faint expression of relief on her face combined with the accusing glare when she took them away. With the switch she reached out and tapped his hands until he put them at his sides. She then tapped his hard penis lightly six times with the switch as well, then stepped closer and knelt in front of him.

She took a long time inspecting him them, carefully prodding and touching and pulling on the skin of his scrotum and butt and legs. Jon stood still, his mind in a swirl of confusion. The submissive part of his brain was in heaven, while the controlled part of him was mortified about what she was doing and might be thinking.

She finally stood up and took his chin in her hand to stare into his eyes.

"You shaved this morning...what is that fragrance?"

"You told me to shave...I do it every morning...that's the lotion from the hotel."

She seemed to consider his answer for a moment, her expression lost in a vacant and subtle sense of embarrassment. Her eyes were soft and tender; Lucy's eyes.

"I guess I should have known you shave every morning...shouldn't I?" she said.

He felt a little guilty for the lie, but he enjoyed the mental contest he thought she was experiencing. He nodded, and a shiver danced over him as Lucinda's eyes returned in the next instant. She swatted his bottom one time with the switch and gestured to the open door. Jon flinched with surprise, bent down to scoop up the briefcase and clothes, then scampered inside.

"Well that's a good start...now get in our bathroom and we'll finish the job," she said.

Finish the job? Jon placed the briefcase on the dining room table as he strolled cautiously toward their bedroom. What was next? He was waiting as she stepped into the bedroom behind him.

"So in your journal you wrote about wanting to experience ass play," she said.

Jon nodded. He loved the idea of adoring her ass.

"Have you had your second bowel movement today?" she asked.

"What?" Jon asked in surprise.

"You always go twice each morning...I pay attention to things like that. It's the same with children in school. How many times have you gone today?"

"What does that have to do wi...?"

Jon felt the switch snap against the side of his thigh and glanced into her eyes.

"Just once," he answered as his hand went instinctively to the sore spot on his leg.

"Then put your hands on the counter," she said as she opened the medicine cabinet.

"But you don't understand," he complained. " I want to serve you."

"You want to have fun with my ass...and I want to have fun with yours," she replied. "Now get your hands on the counter."

Jon put his hands on the counter as instructed. What was this all about? Why would she want to know about how many times he had gone this morning? She quickly produced a small clear gel tablet and Jon flushed as he realized what it was and what she was going to do. Looking into her eyes kept him from denying her, and with a swift motion she tucked the caplet deep into his anus until he felt her finger push it in until it escaped up inside of his rectum.

"Now sit on the toilet and hold it in as long as you can. That is a very fast working suppository...like the ones they use right before delivery in the hospital...Jackie is a delivery nurse and she gave them to me for just this purpose. You should be cleaned out in about ten minutes, but you hold it until I come back."

Jon sat down on the toilet as instructed as she dashed out of the bathroom. He was left wondering for all the world what she had in mind. Jackie was one of the women Lucy had been out with last night. What did she have to do with all of this? The submissive part of his brain was beyond trying to stop what was going on, but that did not keep his mind from dashing through all of the questions.

He held on as long as he could as the pressure in his bowels began to grow. The ten minutes seemed more like an hour, and just as the pressure began to get more than he thought he could stand, Lucy appeared in the bathroom doorway naked.

"Okay," she said with authority, "you can let it go now."

Jon closed his eyes and relaxed his rectum. He did not want her there, but he knew better than to say so. It came in a rush that took him by surprise, the release a swell of pleasure and shear humiliation that he had to hold it until she gave him permission.

"Now in the shower," she said before he was sure that he was completely through.

"I took a shower already," he replied.

"And you'll take another one," she barked.

He flushed again and stepped into the shower stall. Lucy reached in past him and turned the water on. The cold water dashed over his naked body and the shock of it gathered his attention and shrunk his erection.

"That got your attention, didn't it?" she said.

He shivered and nodded.

"What?" she snapped as she swatted his bare ass with the switch.

"Yes," he replied as he flinched and turned to meet her gaze.

"Yes, what?" she yelled and switched him again.

His mind froze for an instant. What did he do wrong? What was he supposed to say? The water began to warm slightly as the answer leaped into his brain.

"Yes, Goddess," he responded.

Her smile captured his imagination as the warm water cascaded over him.

"Good boy," she whispered.

He stood there, shivering in the spray of water. The submissive part of his brain wanted nothing more than to thank her, while the logical part was confused and angry that she did not just say what she wanted. Slowly the warm water eroded his defense and he began to soften his emotions. He enjoyed her words...he like that she was happy with him. He wanted her to think that he was a good boy.

"Here," she said eventually, shaking him from his submissive reverie. "You're going to enjoy this."

Jon looked at what she was handing to him. What was it? He took it and held it in his hand. A bar of soap? It had a strange shape to it. It was about four inches long and perhaps one inch square in width.

"Ivory soap," she said.

"Ivory soap?" he asked.

"Yes...cut in half the long way...you will use it to clean your ass out from now on after you use the suppositories."

Jon just stared at her. Surely he had misunderstood her.

"My...?"

"Yes." She nodded at him like she was offering him a piece of cake. "I smoothed out and tapered the end for this first time. It's going to feel so nice in your ass. Not really that much bigger than Doctor Justin's finger when you get your physical."

"You're not serious?"

"Absolutely. And Bill says that it works as well as an enema for cleaning your rectum out. You push it in as far as you can while keeping hold of the end...then you twist it so it scrubs the inside of your asshole. You pull it out to clean it off in the spray of the shower, then do it again, and you keep doing it until the bar of soap remains clean."

She acted like she was explaining a new toy to one of her special education students. He looked into her eyes and was consumed by her excitement and enthusiasm.

"Bigger than a finger...isn't it?" he asked.

"Oh, Baby," she cooed, "We're going to put much bigger things than that up your ass before we're through. This is just to clean you out and get you used to the feeling of being stretched out down there."

"I'm not sure..." Jon complained.

"But I am," she replied as she took the bar of soap from him purposefully. "You wanted me to challenge you, so here's a challenge. Now put your hands on the wall and I'll get you started."

She was right. He had asked for it. But could he do it? Was he all talk, and not able to step up to her challenge when she finally relented to what he had asked of her? He somehow managed to put his hands up, nervously watching her.

"Relax your bottom Baby," she said as she began probing along the crease of his ass with the bar of soap, looking deep into his eyes.

The sensation was almost terrifying, then there was almost the hint of pain as she twisted the soap at the entrance of his anus.

"Relax Baby," she repeated in a soft voice.

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply as he struggled to relax. And suddenly it was inside him, just barely. It was tight and shocking and mentally overwhelming.

"That's good...now relax again," she whispered.

As he relaxed his bottom again she pushed it deeper until he had the sensation of needing to urinate. She pulled it out halfway, then pushed it in again.

"Umph," Jon exclaimed and shivered with a rush of emotions.

"Isn't that good?" Lucy cooed again as she pumped it into him. "Don't you just love me fucking you like this?"

Jon just grunted as she plumbed his depth.

"Don't you? " she asked again with a sharpness to her voice.