Impact on the Heart

"She may not know why herself. A lot of my clients coming to me about marital advice don't." I point to the picture with the separation. "I can already see where the tension was building."

"Yea. That was Thanksgiving dinner at my grandparent's house. They didn't speak to each other the whole way there, not hardly a word exchanged between them the whole day, then silence all the way home. Mom filed about a week later."

"Right before Christmas?" I sigh at her nod. "You and holidays don't have a good history of late."

She gives a half chuckle at that.

"Yea."

She looks back to the desk and sighs.

"What?"

"There's too many paper to look through tonight. I need to go through them all to find what I need. With the way my brothers acting I don't want to leave them here. Would you mind taking me to my car? I'll come back and load all this up."

I smile, slowly I shake my head.

"Am I that terrible?" I ask smiling. "I swear I feel like you're trying to get rid of me, Cass."

Her face goes from starting to smile to dead flat.

"Please don't call me that." She says sharply.

Startled I look at her and nod.

"Sorry I didn't know. I heard both your brother and what's his name use it I thought it might me a nickname you liked."

She shakes her head.

"No. It's what my Brother called me to tease me when I was first starting to date. He told all the guys I went out with to call me that." I see her face slowly come back to what I know. "I hate it."

"I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you."

She looks up at me puzzled, then smiles as I step in front of her and lean down.

My lips touch hers again. The warmth of the house is there now, warm and soft her mouth presses against mine. I taste the soda she was drinking. I feel her lips moving against mine and I know she must taste the beer I have been drinking.

Then her mouth has moved and I feel her arms tighten around me. She's holding me to her almost painfully. I wrap her into my embrace as I feel the tears beginning. My own eyes are not dry as I caress the back of her hair.

It's a very long time till I turn her lose. I help her gather the papers together and close up the house. I step up behind her in the kitchen seeing her looking out the back window towards the large garage at the back of the yard.

"Do you think they would come back and take it? Jason and Philip?" she asks.

I let my hands come to rest on her shoulder. Her fingers curl up around mine

"Your brother might. I don't think Philip will be interested in anything but some pain killers for the rest of the night." She looks back over her shoulder at me. "I knocked a tooth out when I hit his jaw."

She flinches.

"Ouch." I see her look back to the garage. "I would love to move it somewhere but I can't think of where."

"My garage." I offer. "My cars still at the body shop. I don't have a car in it at the moment. I've been parking the rental in the driveway. Let's load all these papers into it and you follow me in your dad's car. It will crank right?"

"Far as I know yea. Dad drove it on the weekends sometimes. But I can't drive it. It's a stick."

"Then you drive the rental and I'll drive your dad's car." I say as my hand double checks for the keys in my pocket.

"I'm not on your insurance." She says shaking her head. "If I wreck it I'll invalidate your coverage."

"Then don't wreck it." I tell her smiling. "I mean if you do I would obviously have to break up with you. It would clearly show that, as my girlfriend, you don't care about me that you wrecked my rental."

She giggles, then shakes her head.

"Well if you did you still wouldn't be the shortest relationship I've had."

I look at her, unable to believe that. I shake my head at her nod.

"Unfrikking believable. It's a good thing your tastes in boyfriends has improved in the last few hours."

"Would you stop teasing me about that already?" she gives my arm a little pop. "I've kissed you to make up for calling you that so they would leave me alone."

I look down in her eyes.

"I'm not teasing. I kind of like the idea."

"Of being my boyfriend? Really? Are you that desperate?"

Again that lack of love of self. I see farther into her than she knows every time I hear it. That feeling of worthlessness that guys she's been with have given to her. I wish I had the last one back in front of me. I would send a second tooth flying out his mouth!

I pause and think, for half a second, that maybe hanging out with her is making me younger. I haven't had a thought like that in ten years.

"I'm not teasing and I not desperate. I really do like you and want to get to know you better." I look up around at her father's house. "Right now's probably not the best time in your life for your heart to be getting tugged around by me though. So let me get the keys. You take mine. I'll drive your dad's car to my place I'll take you to your car in the rental. Transfer the papers over to your car. I'll follow you home, help you unload them. I'll go home and tomorrow we can get together again. I'll help as much as I can with papers, or at the very least I'll cook breakfast for us."

"You can cook?"

"I'm a very good cook." I say smiling at the tone of astonishment. "Breakfast is easy to make and can be a lot of fun to make for someone you're in love with."

The words are out my mouth before I realize I've said them.

I see her head slowly come around to look at me her eyes taking in my face.

"You're in love with me?"

I pause then and look as deep inward as I can. I look into my bones to see what I finding there. What's there is a feeling that sure is a lot like love. I look at her eyes and smile slowly. "It's called a Freudian slip. You say something that you're feeling without really intending to do it. So I guess I must be, starting to feel something like that for you."

She looks down from my face and I can tell she's doing that same type of inner searching. I see slowly raised eyebrows then a smiling shrug.

"I think I might be feeling something similar." She smiles. "Nice bait."

I grin shaking my head.

"I don't need to put out any more bait. I think the trap already caught me."

I look back out the window at the growing dark. I hold out my keys to her.

She takes them and comes around to take a set of keys off a hook by the back door. She hands me the old leather fobbed set of car keys. There is a smaller Masterlock key on the same ring.

"For the padlock on the garage door." She explains.

I nod understanding and we go back to the office to get the papers together. It takes three trips with us both loaded down to get then all to the rental car.

She gets in and cranks it up, as I'm loading the last box full. I walk around to the window,

"I'll be around in just a minute. You follow me to my place." I tell her.

"Right." she says. I can feel the heater flowing out the open window. I lean in and give her a quick kiss.

As I walk around the house I shiver and bundle my jacket closer around me. I hope this old car has a working heater.

The pad lock is easy, the tumblers clearly use to being turned. Hell he may have even oiled the lock. I pull the doors open to either side and turn on a light switch.

"Holy fucking shit."

My words are a fogy cloud in front of me in the colder air of the storage shed.

The deep blue Stingray Corvette is maybe late sixties, and it is as clean as the day it came off the lot. I have never been one to care about cars but damn this one is nice. My finger touch the cold door handles by the windows and the door opens without so much as a squeak.

"Two grand? Okay, her brother is a fucking idiot."

The leather seats are cold, the leather crinkles as I sit down. The motor turns over with a deep purr of power. Turning on the light I see them lift up in front like little eyes. I shift into first and ease it out the garage nervous as a cat about the sides of the doors.

I put it into park and hop out. The doors closed back, I put the lock back on and snap it shut. For some reason I'm hoping almost maliciously that her brother and Philip do come back and think it's still inside.

The car rumbles to the end of the drive. I see her give a wave, I triple check the road of traffic, then pull out.

I'm having second thought about being a car guy before I'm a mile away. I find the heater and turn it on. Several times I find myself wanting to test the power I have. I can see that my midlife crises maybe more than one day long after all.

I have to hop out go inside and hit the door opener from inside the garage. My garage door opener is still in my car. I never put it in the rental I was afraid I would forget to get it back out.

I shut off the Corvette with a great feeling of reluctance and depression.

I see her scoot over into the passenger seat as I walk up. I smile that she's not willing to get out into the now cold night if she doesn't have to.

"Don't you dare let your brother sell that car for two grand." I say as I get into the car. I enjoy the warmth of the seat her body gave. "Hell I wouldn't take less that twenty for it if it was mine."

"Twenty? But it's forty years old or more?"

"Stop thinking old car... think classic, antique, Vintage. Philip? He is trying to cheat the hell out of your brother. Hell for that matter your whole family."

"Twenty thousand?' she asks against after few miles.

"At least! Do a Google search when you get home. Try looking on Crags list or E-Bay even. See what they are selling for there. For that matter look up the local Corvette dealership they are always in the market for a good showroom piece to display the heritage of the company and that car is near perfect."

She nods. Then shrugs.

"I'll have to see what the Will says. It may go to Jason after all. I'll let him know about Philip though. Thank you."

We get to her office and she leaves me with a kiss to get her car. I follow her to the small apartments nearby where she lives. The walk up the step with the boxes shows me I'm not as young as I've been feeling.

Stepping into her apartment I grin, as I smell the roses I bought her. They are scattered around the place in tall glass vases.

Then I feel like I'm back at the Aquarium. There are three big tanks in the living room. I see a tropical...a tank of fancy goldfish and one tank with a very big fish swimming around by himself. I walk over to him.

"That's Oscar. His foods there beside him Give him a few if you would." She says sitting down the box she's carrying.

The big fish comes to the top when I open the plastic hatch and starts to mouth the surface tension as I drop the tic-tac size pellets into the tank.

"Why is he alone? Doesn't he like company?" I ask, then turning I see I'm alone in the living room.

"Yes." She says from the other room. She comes walking back in carrying a dipper with a silvery fish flopping in it. She drops him into the tank with the big fish "He loves having company over. For dinner."

I watch the big multi-colored fish turn and start to chase the little minnow around the tank.

"It will take him awhile to catch his supper. Can I get you anything? You're sure?" she steps over till she pressing to my chest. "Jake I just want to say ... thank you. Again. For being there today for, Me." she looks up at me. I see the tears at her eyes but there is a smile tugging her lips upwards. "And for all your help today...making me feel better."

I run a hand across the back of her soft hair and pull her to me.

"You're more than welcome. It's what Boyfriends are for."

My chin rests on the top of her head as I hold her. My eyes go around the room taking in the other things. The same feeling of neatness that her father's house had, she has here. I smile when see the tall stacks of books by the couch though. Then I see the larger bookcase by the back wall. I feel a grin when I see the familiar blue gray of my mothers book covers.

"Quite a collection."

She pulls back from being snuggled into my chest and looks where I'm looking. She shrugs in my arms.

"Your present will be the prize of the collection. Thank you for that again."

"I just hope you enjoy it." I tell her softly.

"Oh I will. My copy over there is about dog eared from reading it over and over."

"What was your favorite part?" I ask looking down.

She blushes furiously.

"Oh my god look at you." I smile. Turning her lose I walk the short distance over to the shelf and run my finger across the titles of my Moms book. I see the one I gave her. Pulling it out I see it is worn, there are also several bookmakers, but the spine shows a favorite spot. The book opens to it easily.

Turning to her I start to read.

"...and he gently lifted her chin and stared into her eyes. 'I'm going to ravage you my dear". He tells her with a leer. "I will take from you what you should have given freely."

I close the book back and look at the deep red blush coming to her face. "My mother would have loved to see you blushing like that. She use to call these her bodice ripper stories."

I place the book back on the shelf. I see the other titles that she's collected.

"You have good tastes. Mom had a lot of respect for most of these."

"She's my favorite. When I read hers it feel like I'm reading something wrote just for me"

"She was a very talented author. I know she would have loved to hear you say she was your favorite. She always enjoyed doing book signings because it let her to meet her readers." My hand drifts across the spines of the books. Old pains surface as I miss my mom. It feels like it was just yesterday, not decades ago.

Casey is looking down into the fish tank with all the fancy finned multi-colored gold fish. I step up behind her and bring my hands to rest on her hips. Her hair is soft under my cheek.

"I guess I need to go." I say after a moment.

She sighs.

"I wish you didn't have to. I...wish you could stay." She looks back over her shoulder at me. "You're good company."

I look back toward the big fish. He's spitting little silvery scales out his mouth.

"I'll gladly stay so long as I'm not dinner."

"I won't eat you, I promise." She say grinning.

"Then I'll stay till you chase me off."

She turns in my arms. I lean in with a touch of surprise as she lifts the few inches to kiss me.

"I don't think I'll chase you off either. Want a late dinner?"

"You cook?" I say mirroring her tone from earlier with a gin.

She shrugs,

"Not to much, little things. I was thinking sandwiches and chips."

"Sounds good." I nod.

"Have a seat I'll put it together. Will tea be okay? I don't have much else."

"Tea will be fine, thank you."

I take a seat on her couch and lean back into the soft pile of pillow. I notice the lack of a television. I look around at the fish tanks and then at the stack of romance novels sitting next to me. There are many bookmarks in each, marking favorite places.

Picking one up I open to the book marker, it is movie stub I notice. Glancing at the stub I see it's also a romance.

I look down into the pages.

I didn't pay attention to the name of the author when I picked it up but I very quickly notice it's one of my mom's books. As I read I hear again her voice. As a boy I use to sit giggling when she would read some of the chapters back to herself. I had been such a fool thinking that her writings were silly. All about silly girls that get kidnapped then fall for their kidnappers.

Then I came to understand what she saw in them. After I feel in love with Maria.

Thinking back, I think that Mom would have understood what I felt for Maria. But by then she was gone. A year and a half passed.

"I like that one. She wrote the characters so silly yet there was so much passion to them." Looking up I see her walking back in carrying paper plates.

"Sir Niles Navaery, the knight of a thousand lances." I chuckle remembering the long conversations Mom had with her agent and publishers to get this one approved. "And the dear sweet virginal Penny Penwinkle, the princess of the Petunia Palace."

I laugh with her that. I open the book to a page near the front.

"Seeing her flowers opening in the morning dew he lifted his lance to the sky and let lose a call that set the flutter birds to fluttering and the butterflies to flying." I laugh remembering my Mom laughing her head off while writing this one. "She loved this one. She had a lot of fun writing it."

"I can tell. The whole thing is one big punch line about sex."

I nod.

"Allegorical. She wanted to give a try at writing one. It took a lot of argument to get her agent to show it or her publicist to print it but in the end she showed them all. It was one of her most popular as far a sales."

I flip through the pages to another book marked passage. I grin as I read it and she blushes at the grin. I start over reading it aloud.

"He drove his might steed into the list of love and settling his long lance firmly he plied forwards without fear of concern for his own safety. The challenger had not a chance when the clashing thunder of his passion met her love of color and her passion for petals."

I stop reading at her giggle. I look down from her smiling face and see a little bag sitting beside the pile. I pick it up and see a brand new book. I turn it spine on and read the author.

"Mom, worked with this guy. Helped him get a foot in the door a few times"

"That's written by a guy?" her eyes are the size of saucers. "But..."

"A lot of male writer use female names to write romance. Women like to identify with a woman author. The exact same thing comes to light when you read erotica. There the reader is a guy and he likes the idea of a woman author. So a lot of the male writers also use a female name."

"I've never read erotica." She says with the hint of a blush.

Moving my hand I tap the stack of books.

"Yes you have, just the PG fourteen level. I have some at home that my Mom wrote near the end of her career...when she was getting sick and wanted to write whatever she wanted to write not what a publisher might want to sell. Some of them can blister your fingers turning the pages they are so hot."

"I wish parent could live forever. I would have loved to have met her." She, looks down, sees the food in her hands, and remembers it. She holds out the plate with my sandwich.

Nodding sadly I place the book on top of the stack and take the plate from her. I dig into my sandwich, but I find myself watching her after my first bites. Even with so simple a meal she eats with that delicate precision.

We're half way through the meal when the phone rings?

The person on the other end is nearly frantic. I can all but hear her screaming at Casey. For the second time in a day I see this woman's face go a bone white while she's on the phone. She thanks the person on the other end then hangs up her hand shaking.

"What is it?" I ask almost dreading the answer after the other call she got earlier today. She looks at me and if anything goes even whiter.

"You've got to leave!"

"What's wrong?' I ask.

"That was Wendy. Phillips sister. She said that he just showed up drunk as hell, talked her husband into going with him. He's got three or four other guys he knows with him as well."

I sit up and focus on her.

"They're looking for you!" She grabs my arm and starts pulling me to my feet. "You've got to go, they will come here."

"You're coming with me them. I'm going no where unless I know you're safe and having him and a group of guys coming here when he's drunk. No you're coming with me."

"But... but"

"But me no buts come on get you some clothes for a few days. When we get to my place I'll call a lawyer I know and get a restraining order filed. Till then you need to be somewhere he can't find you."

"I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about you." She says pulling at my arms again.