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Improving Your Sex Life


My wife and I have been married for 19 years. Our sex life I think could be classified as on par with many people in our situation. Like most married men, I love my wife very much but always wish she would be a little more experimental in bed. I have asked her over the years to try a few different things and most of the time she goes along with my suggestions, but it feels very static. I think she feels like she is being judged on her performance and can't really enjoy the excitement of the moment.

Needless to say, I have come to be quite frustrated at times and wanting for something more. I think this is the time where a lot of men start looking for the greener grass and end of getting themselves in trouble or doing things they later regret. I know this wasn't the path I wanted to go down. So I had to come up with some way of both of us being able to enjoy new ideas and improve our sex life.

I ended up talking to someone who had had similar frustrations and I was excited to find out what he had done to improve his sex life. He told me about someone he had contacted online that helped him immensely. The general idea was that this person would communicate with his wife through e-mail and remain totally anonymous. He had given his wife a few surveys to fill out on things that she enjoyed and didn't enjoy about their sex life. The beauty in all of this was that his wife was free to communicate her feelings without being judged by her husband.

After both he and his wife had taken the surveys, they would receive instructions of things to do or ways to make their partner happy. My friend said that his sex life had improved dramatically with the new things his wife was trying. Also, he had been told there were things that he needed to do to improve. I laughed when he told me he was now working out at the gym and buying flowers more often but that the compensation was immense.

I took down the e-mail address and wrote to this gentleman that very night. My e-mail was replied to very quickly. I then talked to my wife and told her what I had found out. She was skeptical at first but I made it clear that if anything seemed bad, she didn't have to go through with it. I told her how it had helped our friend and his wife and how those feelings of straying to greener grass had vanished with his newfound sex life. She knew she was somewhat reserve in bed and wanted us to be happy and so she agreed to at least try it.

Like my friend, our first tasks were to fill out some surveys that asked about past sexual experiences and ideas for new ones. We were asked for likes and dislikes and things we were nervous to do, things we wanted to do, and things we would never do. In doing this, we were given scenarios that we were both willing to try. We both had to be in contact with this gentleman through e-mail so he would have both sides of the story when it came to what was anticipated in our sex life.

One of the first things I was told to do was buy flowers for my wife for no reason. Boy was she surprised when she got home and found a dozen roses and a note on the kitchen table, just because. And boy was I surprised when I got out of the shower that evening and found her lying on the bed in a new bra and panty outfit on with a little extra make-up on. Usually she came to bed having just removed it all and dressed in a comfortable, yet not sexy, nightgown.

Needless to say, our sex life and marriage has improved dramatically. We have done new things from using a wig, being tied to the bed, flashing a trucker, to spending a long weekend at a motel. Of course there have been things that I had wanted to do but that she had said no way to in our surveys. But I have to tell you the truth. I'm not disappointed because the other areas have exceeded my wildest dreams. She feels comfortable because I'm not "begging" and I have a wife who now brings new ideas to bed with her. And the best part of all of this was that we didn't have to pay for a marriage counselor or end up growing farther apart. The e-mails were free. I don't even know who the guy was, but he did a world of good for my wife and me. By the way, let me know and I'll pass along the address. I know it was a lifesaver for my sanity and sexual well-being.

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byphotoxtreme© 8 comments/ 88232 views/ 10 favorites

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