In More Ways Than One Ch. 02

I was more and more tired lately of his screwing me and then leaving. Some days things between us were so good, better than good but some days his life got in the way. Even after more than three years together he was still not ready to admit to loving me. Not to his Irish brethren, who knew better. Not to the world. And was I okay with that? No.

I watched Cian while lying on my back in my bed, as pissed off as I was able to be at this point. He moved around my bedroom pulling on his clothes. I could tell from the expression on his face that he was already somewhere else mentally.

Which door tonight? I thought.

Door A: I spend the night alone crying in my bed.

Door B: I go out with friends and drown my thoughts in alcohol—Fuck it!

"Where are you going?" I asked him again.

He acted like he didn't hear me and continued to get dressed. This was the third or fourth time. Deciding I'd had enough of his ignoring me I jumped up from the bed, still completely naked, and grabbed his keys.

"What the fuck are you doing Keya" he snapped at me then without pausing "Give me my fucking keys."

As he lunged for them I moved out of the way. My only option was to run into the bathroom and lock the door, which I did.

In the bathroom silent tears trailed down my face. I angrily swiped at them.

"I am so damn tired of this Cian" I yelled from behind the locked door.

"I have to go. Give me my keys" he said again, highly impatient this time.

"No."

"Open this fucking door before I beat it down" he growled pounding hard on it enough to frighten me.

"Fine" I came out. "Here are you stupid fucking keys" and then I tossed them onto the floor.

His cell phone beeped again, like it had been doing for the past hour. He looked at it, picked up his keys from where they'd landed. He kissed me on the cheek and then left.

^^^^^^^

When I met Cian

Three years ago when Cian and I met I would have never thought that falling in love could be so damned painful. I hated him most of the time. I hated that I had gone to law school and he had gone into the family business after college which kept him busier than my law school classes.

His behavior lately hadn't been about having to work. It was about the redhead he'd been fucking for the past few months. Part of me wanted nothing more than to let go of him but I just couldn't. Rihanna was right when she said it was like an addiction because somewhere along the way my life had begun to revolve around Cian.

After our first night together he had tried to stay away from me and when he found he couldn't I told him I would stay away from him. Although I was better at staying away than he, it didn't change a thing. If I wasn't in his bed most every night or he wasn't in mine it was he who came looking for me.

The first time that I went out with someone else he beat the living breath out of this guy and told me I'd better not ever do some shit like that again. This had come three days after him telling me he couldn't see me anymore.

As time went on I began to want him with a really deep hunger and need. I was sure he felt the same for me. After all, I had become a part of his life. Even his friends began to see me as a permanent fixture in his life. I think the only one who didn't see it was him. The guys would tease him mercilessly, Aidan especially. Aidan was more than a little racist and couldn't understand his friend's fixation with me.

Still as messy as our relationship was I was happy to be with him, I felt at home in his arms and with him between my legs. I would have been content to love him forever because he made me feel like I belonged to him, with him. It was intoxicating. At least until Jenny happened.

^^^^^^^

The Jenny Situation

I had rushed over from my last class to Cian's apartment. I was excited about a grade I'd received in a class I and was in a hurry to celebrate. It was almost six o'clock in the afternoon. It had been raining earlier and was still wet out but the skies had cleared at least. There was obviously a party going on when I pulled up because there were cars parked everywhere.

I bypassed the smoke filled living room, the people I didn't know and went directly into his bedroom where I found a pretty blond lying underneath his blanket, totally naked. She'd jumped a little when she saw me. I guess I had startled her by coming into the room unannounced, then following her gaze across the room both our eyes landed on a naked Cian. He looked like he had just gotten out of the shower. In the next second I was all over her, I mean literally. I wanted to kill her.

It took Cian, Niall and someone else to pull me away from her while Aidan stood smirking in the doorway. I had never felt so much pain in my life as Cian's two goons still held me and he had the nerve right in front of me to hold her and check on her.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he barely spared me a glance.

What was wrong with me? This coming from the same asshole that was known to explode in a murderous rage with little or no provocation. I only told you about the first guy he beat down. That guy was far from the last. Who the hell did he think I'd gotten my temper from? He'd completely rubbed off on me. I wasn't the same shy and timid girl he'd met at a frat party. What was wrong with me? He was what was wrong with me.

Watching him tilt her bloody face up to his tears began to slip out of my eyes of their own accord. I felt like I was bleeding to death and he was taking care of her.

"Get off me."

I yanked as hard as I could and the guys who were still holding me tight released me probably because they heard my sobs and knew I wasn't going to do anything else. Cian had taken her into the bathroom anyway.

^^^^^^^

After the Jenny incident Cian and I stopped all forms of communication. The first thing I did was cut my hair. I had let it grow out but now I cut it so short it couldn't be gripped or pulled. Cian loved to pull and tug at my hair during sex and if he was mad at me. It was over and I was going to be happy.

Zabrine, a guy from my job asked me out after giving me a compliment on my new hairstyle one day. Zabrine was sexy, tall cocoa colored skin, athletic build not too muscular but just right. I said yes. He took me to a new place called The Underground. We grabbed a table, ordered some drinks, and then he asked me to dance. On the packed dance floor I had to yell to be heard over the music.

"Why did you bring me here Zabrine?" Of all places.

This place was like any other Irish pub that I had begun to frequent since being with Cian. He caught the uneasy way that I was looking around.

"Oh I'm half Irish" he said against my ear. Of course I thought. I nodded to him while laughing inside at the irony of the situation.

A slower song came on, he pulled me close and whispered that my dress looked phenomenal on me, felt phenomenal on me. His hands slowly and softly traveled up and down the length of my bare back and lower still. His thumbs grazed my breasts. I was not wearing a bra and he was turning me on. In his arms I was surprised not only by my arousal but by how I wasn't thinking of Cian every second. When he asked me if I wanted to get out of the place I felt I was ready and I said yes.

He held my hand as he pulled me through the crowd toward the coat room. I admit that I was looking at his ass in his jeans and not where I was walking until I ran into a solid wall. Actually it was Niall. I looked up to apologize and froze when I saw his huge self right in my way. It was something about the way he was looking at me.

"Hi, how are you?" he asked but he didn't move out of my way.

Getting Niall to say more than that was like pulling teeth. Sometimes I thought if he wanted he would make a great bodyguard or bouncer. I wasn't in the mood to be polite.

"Are you going to move?" I snapped.

"Yeah" he said. And when he did I saw that his huge frame had been covering the fact that Cian was across the way looking at me. My head snapped around before I could tell it not to. I was trying to gauge how much he could have seen on the dance floor. Slowly my eyes crept back to Cian's. He had this grin on his face like he knew what I was thinking. Even from as far away as we were I could tell the smile didn't reach his eyes.

I was mad that seeing Cian had killed the desire that I had been working up to all night with Zabrine. Still I allowed Zabrine to take me home and even kiss me. Tasting his mouth was like eating warm butterscotch candy, I probably would have sucked on his tongue all night if he hadn't been the one to pull away. I guessed that he needed to breathe.

"So can we continue this upstairs?" he asked.

"N-Not tonight" I said as firmly as I could.

"Well this will have to do me for now" he said and leaned down to take my mouth again.

^^^^^^^

Later that night

It was after two a.m. I had showered put on a pair of white boy shorts and a t-shirt standing at the kitchen counter. I was eating ice cream while listening to a movie play on the TV in my living room. This fucking sucks I thought. Two seconds later I heard my front door open. I almost screamed when Cian appeared in the doorway seconds later. I sat my ice cream down on the counter top as anger replaced the fear in my veins.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I growled at him.

He remained calm, relaxed looking but I could tell by his stormy eyes that he was anything but.

"Who is he" he asked casually.

"Excuse me?"

He began to walk toward me, his eyes, locked into mine.

"Who the fuck is he?"

"You don't have any right to--

"I have every right" he bellowed.

He stood within two inches of my face. With my back against the counter he reached me and picked up my ice cream taking a few bites before putting it down again. One of his hands then went up my shirt. He solely managed to get it over my head while he toyed with one of my nipples. As soon as my shirt was removed he replaced his fingers with his mouth. He sucked hard enough to make me whimper.

I wanted to resist him. I really did.

He slid his hand into my shorts and began to finger fuck me. I was hot and wet in seconds. His fingers were large and thick. They made me ache and gasp.

"D-don't" I said as he began to use those fingers curving upward toward my g spot, his hand now dripping with my flowing cream.

I was almost, almost there when he stopped abruptly pulling away his mouth and hand.

"You want me to go?" he asked looking into my face which I turned from him and he promptly turned back to his. I knew that my hurt, pain, and anger were visible for him to see.

"It's just not the same" I told him, meaning it.

"What are you saying?"

He was met with silence. I was weakening. I didn't want him to go and I didn't want him to stay either.

He picked me up and I had no choice but to wrap my legs around his waist as he wasn't letting me go.

Up against the wall he fucked me, so hard, so deep. When he tried to kiss me all I could think of was the girl I'd found in his bedroom and I turned my head away from his lips. He quickened his pace and deepened his strokes. I could barely catch my breath. I became like a rag doll in his arms, legs spread wide apart while he fucked me up and down on his dick. I came milking him, clawing at his back, screaming. When he got ready to cum he laid me on the counter.

We were barely finished when his phone rang. He snatched it open.

"Yeah" he said still sliding in and out of me.

"No" he eyed me. "Not tonight".

He closed his phone turned it off and took me to bed.

^^^^^^^

Things were perfect for a while, after that. So how did I get to the point where I am practically groveling for his attention, well, I told you that he works in the family business. It keeps him very busy.

A couple of weeks after the Zabrine episode we were arguing about where he was going. I would ask he would say to do stuff and then he would leave anytime day or night. I guessed he thought because we were now living together that I would be satisfied with him being gone so often. I wasn't.

"I barely see you Cian" I told him after one such argument.

"And when I do you're too busy to do anything other than fuck and leave."

"What the hell am I supposed to think?"I yelled at him.

"That I am working" he shouted back.

^^^^^^^

Well sometimes he was and sometimes he wasn't which leads me back to where I started, watching him walk out of our place to go to her, whoever she happened to be hurt me deeply but I wasn't going anywhere and we both knew that.

^^^^^^^

The ringing of my phone woke me from my revelry. I knew who it was by looking at the caller id.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"You know what the fuck I want."

"Well I just fucked Cian." If it could be called that.

He'd spent maybe ten minutes inside me and then he'd gotten the text. Whoever she was she was coming to mean a lot to him.

"Hey, you there?"

"Yes, Aidan."

"Can I come see you then?"

"I just fucking told you!"

"I'll be there in maybe fifteen" he hung up the line.

To be continued...