In Over My Head Ch. 05

It was a month or so after the christening and I had had a photograph, of me in the middle with my two ladies on either side of me holding my daughters, enlarged and framed. When I got home from the office it was in the hall waiting for me to decide where I was going to hang it.

The two girls followed me as I took it into the lounge. There really was only one place that I could think of to hang it, and that was over the fireplace where a portrait of Anita had always hung.

I removed the portrait and replaced it with the photograph. Then I replaced one of the other paintings we had in the lounge with the portrait of Anita. After dinner I sat in my favourite seat in the middle of the sofa with my two loving partners on either side of me and gazed up at the picture of my family.

A couple of weeks later we were sitting there again and something struck me as being wrong. I could tell that both girls sensed my unease but they said nothing. It took me some time to realise that the photograph and the portrait had been exchanged.

When I did, I looked from one to the other, and then looked at the two girls. Leanne, as always the leader, was the one who answered my questioning looks.

"Now don't go getting upset, Martin! Dawn and I know you better than you know yourself. We have always watched the way you look at that portrait and since you moved it we have been aware that you have been missing seeing it there. You know that you stare at it every night, don't you?"

"Oh god, I'm sorry girls. No, I didn't realise I did that."

"Don't be sorry, we know how much you loved Anita. And we are happy that you still love her. How can we be jealous of her? If it wasn't for Anita, neither of us would have found the happiness we have with you."

Once again I was out of my depth; these two women knew me better than I did myself. They had taken me at face value, given me their love and been happy to not only share that love with each other but share it with Anita as well.

Well, that night we broke Leanne's schedule, and the three of us spent the night in my bed. No, that's not true, I got up and did the baby bit. Yes, I can change shitty nappies, although I stop short of breast-feeding; but having two mothers in the house means that only one has to get disturbed.

Life once again dropped into its happy routine. Until one night I came home and found both Leanne and Dawn cooking dinner. It was sometime before I realised that that was unusual. Normally one of them would be upstairs with the children.

"The girls are quiet!" I observed.

"They're OK. The nanny is looking after them!" Dawn replied.

I'm not that daft; I instantly knew that something was up. After all we didn't have a bloody nanny. But the girls acted as if nothing was wrong and began to lay the dining room table for two.

Now you may think I'm exceedingly dense but I had no idea what was about to hit me in the next few minutes. I enquired as to who the nanny was and why there were only two place settings at the table.

"We thought you had better get acquainted with our new children's nanny." Leanne replied. "So you two will eat in the dining room and Dawn and I will eat in the kitchen tonight."

Well she had answered one of my questions but pointedly not the other. Usually I have a shower and change before dinner but I was firmly informed that was not on the menu tonight. I was to go and sit at the table and await my dinner guest and I was definitely not going upstairs to see the children. They would be brought down to me.

As I sat at the table waiting, I hit the dry Martini a bit harder than usual. It could be I subconsciously knew what was about to happen. But when that door opened and Anita came in carrying my two lovely babies, I was gob smacked, and didn't know what to say.

Leanne and Dawn followed Anita in and Leanne was the first to speak.

"Dawn and I thought something was missing in this family. We have been talking it over with Anita for many months now and the three of us have become like sisters. But Anita has been the odd one out. We want you to take her back; she loves you just as much as we do and we know you love her."

"Surely you can forgive her now." Dawn piped up. "Please, it will make us a complete family. I know it's not a normal family but there has always been something missing. We think you need Anita!"

"Are you happy with this Anita?" I asked.

"If you are. I'll be happy to be near you."

"That isn't what I asked!"

"I love Leanne and Dawn even more than I love my sister. I love you and these two wonderful babies. I just want us to be back together and I am quite prepared to be one of your three wives. If you will accept me.

Well, that wasn't the end of it. Anita and I had dinner together and then the four of us sat and talked until the early hours. I was to learn that Leanne had met up with Anita (arranged through Kara) well before she ever got into my bed. It had been at Anita's suggestion that Leanne came off the pill. And it was Anita's pressure that had persuaded the two priests to be so helpful over the christening. She of course was what all that Latin was about and was the other God parent.

One thing I don't suggest any of you try is four in a bed. It might sound like any man's dream. But I can assure you, it ain't a good idea. But once you've got a good rotation sorted out (Leanne's speciality), three wives is much more than thrice the fun, although a little tiring at times.

We have four children now, two girls and two boys and there are four more on the way. Anita has had several eggs implanted, two of which have apparently taken. Wouldn't it be nice if it was one of Dawn's and one of Leanne's. Well, where did you think the eggs were going to come from? The local newspaper did pick the story up but I was able to use the "Old Pals Act" to squash it.

All eight of us are very happy, although I can see some confusing times to come in the future. Actually the girls have a very good system. If two of them ever have a disagreement the third acts as mediator. Both Dawn and Leanne appear to have accepted that Anita has first claim. Nothing has ever been said to me but, when we are out, Anita is always holding onto my right arm and the other two appear to make equal claim to my left.

I am very careful not to show any favouritism. One thing I found out early; upset one wife and I've upset them all.

Leanne still does the bed rotation. But I can't make head nor tail of it.

Maybe the "Joseph Smith" did have it right?

One last thing. George, the barman in the Plough. He's still confused!

The End