In The Shadow of The Moon Ch. 04

"Going to work out, Mom."

"Now, Victoria, I did not raise you to be rude. You cooked all this delicious food and I am sure there are a few hungry people in this room. Sit down and enjoy it with us." He could feel her reluctance, but even he knew that voice. All mothers had it. It was that voice that broke no room for argument. It said 'do what I say and I'll have no arguments from you about anything different'. Victoria flexed her hands on the door way and moved away from the door.

A pained look flashed briefly in her eyes before she swallowed it and turned to the people in the room.

"Thank you for embarrassing me so completely. It definitely makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and good about myself."

"Well, I am glad I could help in your development as a person."

Antony laughed. He couldn't help it. The banter between the two women spoke volumes. No doubt they had had this conversation before.

"Oh, I like these two. They're sassy. They'll keep you in line when I am gone. Now someone said something about breakfast and introductions."

Antony and Nick laughed. Carlie growled at both men and walked towards Victoria.

"Hi, I'm Carlie, that idiot,s sister."

Victoria smiled and placed her hand in Carlie's, "Hi, I am Victoria."

Carlie yanked and pulled her into a hug. The look on Victoria's face was priceless. The utter look of shock just renewed Antony's laughter. He walked over to the table, wiping his eyes and holding his sides. He had missed his sister. As she walked over to the table, Nick pulled out a chair for her and Antony did the same for Victoria. When it looked like Nick was going to sit next to her, her whole body tensed and pulsed. She was primed for attack ready to defend herself and those around her. Protector mode.

His chuckles stopped as he waited to see if she would need consoling. With slow breaths, she collected herself as Nick began to spoon food onto Carlie's plate. The weird behavior caught his attention, but he was still focused on Victoria. Once she calmed and food was on everyone's plate, conversation began again. Nick was hovering over Carlie, making sure she was comfortable, that she had enough food, did she want some more juice or water.

Victoria watched on, as confused as he was until finally it clicked in his head. He dropped his fork to the floor with a clatter and looked over at his sister. She was currently having a conversation with Addyson about her travels because she had never gotten the chance to go anywhere. He reached for her with his mind. She was happy, excited, and biting her tongue. She was silently berating Nick about all his hovering. He silently let his mind be swamped with her feelings until he could notice what she notice and feel what she felt.

There it was. The little secret she had tucked away in the back of her mind. Her hand rested on her belly, wishing she could feel the heartbeat that they had heard on the ultrasound a few days before they arrived. Antony's face broke out in a grin.

"Carlie?" His voice stopped the conversation. She looked at him, concentrating and finally smiled. She nodded, joy lighting all of her features. He leaned over and hugged her hard. His little sister, pregnant.

"What's going on?" Victoria's voice brought his attention back to the table that was staring at the two.

*****

Victoria liked seeing Antony like this. He was utterly ridiculous; she would almost go so far as to say harmless. His smile lit up his face and she could read every nuance that crossed it. His attempts to prevent his sister from moving an inch were ridiculously funny and sweet. In this moment, she could see them. Antony and her together and stronger for it. Leading a pack with a just and level hand.

Antony turned to look at her. His eyes bright with excitement; she wouldn't waste her breath on denying he had heard her thoughts. He always seemed to be tapped into her head. She closed her eyes and stood. Her body was tense. Ever since she had moved into the compound, her body was wound tight. At first, she thought it might have something to do with her father and her never ending worry about his retaliation. The more time she spent around Antony, resisting him, the more her tension increased.

She had woken up this morning calmer than she had been in a while. She could feel the blush rage up her neck and across her cheeks. She didn't want to think of the reason for that. She excused herself from the table and went to her work out. As she moved out of the kitchen, she quickly changed her mind and grabbed her dance clothes and a CD. Running wasn't going to cut it. She needed more than a lung-burning run on the treadmill. No, for this tension, she would need her feet to fly through the air and her body to move with no constraint. She would twirl and spin and the tension would fly out of her fingertips and her chest. It would sink into the floor from her feet and then she would be able to breath.

The choices she was about to make frightened her.

*****

"Where did she go? I didn't really have a chance to talk to her." The disappointment in Carlie's voice was abrasive on Antony's skin. He didn't ever like her to be unhappy. He smiled wryly at her.

"It's not your fault, broccoli. She's running from me."

"Well, stop being such a scary, overbearing, domineering ass then."

"Well, I've never. How could you say such things to me? Your older brother, who loves and car..." Antony's attempts to keep a smile off his face as he said this left his stomach hurting and his cheek muscles twitching.

Carlie smiled up at him. "Because you can be that way. Remember Campbell? That really nice guy in high school?" She laughed as he growled at her. "He came over to take me on a date," she turned to look at Addyson. "This idiot has an omega open the door for him and there is Antony, full wolf and snarling in the door way. He left screaming and terrified and refused to ever talk to me again. When I asked Antony why the hell he did it, he said 'I didn't like the way he got out of his car'. What kind of ridiculous, harebrained excuse is that? So I repeat, you are a scary, overbearing, domineering ass."

Everyone at in the room was laughing except Carlie. She starred up at Antony and stuck her tongue out, which only made him laugh harder. Nicholas reached over and kissed her, adeptly distracting her for the time being. Antony watched, drying his eyes, as Nick pulled away and said, "Well, I am glad he did. I don't want anyone named after soup touching my woman." Antony couldn't stop the laughter. He had missed his sister; she was always good for a good story and a good laugh.

Carlie lifted herself out of the table. Normally he would make some comment about food, babies and all the implications, but this time she actually was eating for two. He smiled again. His little sister, a mother. "Well while you two buffoons," she jabbed both of them in the shoulders, "laugh about my traumatizing childhood, I am going to go and talk to her. Hopefully I can convince her that she is mating so that she can be my sister. I think we will be excellent friends. I can tell her all the ways to get under your skin...Tony." Antony scowled and attempted to grab her as she snapped her way out of the room. He would never live down that damn musical. He rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the table. Nicholas was still laughing and Addyson was wiping her eyes.

*******

Victoria flipped backwards and then leapt across the gym. She could still hear Sonja in her head"Point your toe, Victoria, POINT your toe! And keep that leg straight. I'll tape a board to it if I have to."She leapt again and twisted in the air. Dancing was so basic to her. Her body moved correctly because it wanted to, although the years of training did help. She let her body slow down as the song drifted to a close. She moved gracefully to the floor and let her head fall. It was all too much. The athletics, the dancing. It was just too damn much to deal with. Unbidden memories of her father pushing her swamped her mind again. Dance wasn't fun anymore, fencing wasn't fun.

Everything she had held sacred and enjoyable was manipulated to his dark needs. She hated the bastard."Work harder, Victoria, or else your friends will pay the price...You want your mom to pay the price for your laziness?"Threats whispered in her ear as she fought, thoughts shoved into her mind like a steel blade. He went to any lengths to get to the ends he wanted. He had made her fight a group of seven of his most vicious warriors. She had to be fast and take down his men completely in order to get out of there. She wouldn't leave until every may lay unconscious on the floor. She could remember the rough hands, could remember how contaminated she had felt. Hands everywhere. She allowed her body to shake once with the memory, allowed her body to burn only for a moment with the remembered touches of unwanted fingers, allowed herself only a moment to inwardly weep for the violation she had experienced.

"Wow, my brother really has it bad. I have been begging him to put a dance studio in the compound for years. Unlike Nicholas, I couldn't use sex to bribe him to do it. Who knew that denying him what he wanted was the key all along." The snort and light laugh brought her misery up short. Her defenses rose and then fell with the recognition of Carlie's voice. She looked up at the tall woman and hoped that none of her inner turmoil showed on her face. She stood from the floor and smiled. "I guess I will have to remember that for later days."

Carlie laughed again and walked over. "You're an amazing dancer. Mesmerizing to watch. How long have you been doing it? I have been dancing for years and still can't manage to look so graceful."

"Thank you. I started when I was six and haven't stopped since."

"Wow. Well, like I said, amazing." As silences are amongst strangers, the quiet became awkward and long. Victoria tried to think of a way of excusing herself or at least figuring out what she needed or wanted from her.

"Look. I know it isn't really my business per say, but I wanted to talk to you about this whole mating. I know your situation. Antony called me and I think it is amazing that you survived all that. I don't think anyone as strong as you should be kept from the happiness of the world just because of the confused ravings and machinations of a lunatic." Carlie took a deep breath and stared at her. Victoria was stunned. The whole speech had come out on one big breath of air and with limited punctuation. She was slightly miffed at her intervention of her life, but could understand where she was coming from. Her brother seemed to have his happiness interlaced with Victoria's happiness.

"Look, I know it's probably crazy to have a stranger walk up to you and tell you what to do with your life, but I don't see myself that way. You are my sister. Though you haven't mated him yet, the minute he told me about you, in my mind, that is what you became. I have been dying to come down here and meet you. I can't possibly know what you are going through. My life hasn't been nearly as traumatic as yours has, but I can tell you that Antony will be there to help you through all of it. He is overbearing and crazy and even stupid sometimes, but he loves with his whole heart and would never hurt his love if he could. I know this for a fact."

"His dark past." Victoria mumbled to herself, remembering Antony's earlier words.

"What?"

Victoria looked up. "Antony told me to ask you about his dark past. Said that I may think I was fucked up inside, but he was too."

Carlie smiled. "Well, that is something. Antony doesn't talk about that often. He told you to ask me about the story?"

Victoria nodded. "Yeah. I guess he knows that I don't really...trust...him. Or maybe he knew that I would like you and trust you...more than him. I don't know. I just...well, I guess I just wanted to know. I was curious."

Carlie squinted her eyes and looked directly at Victoria. Then she turned around and lifted her shirt.

************

Antony watched as Addyson cleaned dishes and put away food. Nicholas had gone to take care of his pack and make sure that they were settling in. Antony was sitting at the table where Addyson had placed the most delicious cake he had ever eaten. There was fruit in between the layers and the cake was moist and thick. He was in cake heaven. He had been only briefly surprised that Victoria had made it. Even stuffed from his brunch, he took another bite of the cake. It didn't quite make since. How did a girl grow into the woman he loved under the tyranny of her father? She cooked like a dream, she danced, she was athletic. Everything she did, she did with this incredible grace.

He looked up at Addyson at the sink. She was the same way, incredibly graceful in everything that she did. He could see Victoria's features in her mother.

"Addyson?" She looked up and raised an eyebrow. "What's your story? I mean how did the famous Addyson Parks end up here?"

She smiled as she finished the last few dishes and moved to sit at the table with a cup of tea. The sun was shining in through the kitchen window. It lit up half of her face. It shined in her eyelashes and in every sun-dappled shadow, he could see the lines of her story.

"My father was a man of very few words. The few words he choose to speak brook no argument. Your mother and I had met at the Lunari festivities the year I turned 19. I was a very, very young 19. She was head over heels for your father and I was determined to never be like her. Men were so far out on my radar that they didn't even show up as a blip. Although I have been told that I was noticed by quite a few men." She laughed quietly to herself and smiled. He could catch the glimpses of these memories in her minds eye. "I don't know when my father realized I was of mating age, because he certainly had never addressed the issue before. Still, one day he walked into my room and stood in my door way and said 'Addyson, I've found you a man'. Within ten minutes, I had raised hell and told my father where he could put this man and returned to painting my toe nails. My father said not one word and turned to leave the room." They both burst into laughter. When the image had finally faded from her mind and the laughter trickled to an occasional chuckle, she continued.

"Now, naïve, little me thought that was the end of it, but a week later, this man shows up at one of the defense lessons I taught. I was talking about some advance combinations and he said, 'The best way to teach is by example'. Then he attack me. Needless to say I fought back. He challenged me in ways I hadn't been challenged in a while. I had become complacent in my abilities and he forced me to prove them. In the end, he won. My first defeat. In the oldest traditions of our people, he demanded my submission and neck. After that, he stuck to me like glue. He was always there whenever I was doing something. Observing, never making comments. He was suffocating and he got under my skin. If I wasn't already pissed at him for winning our fight, I would have been pissed for his constant presence. Nobody would tell me why he was there and there seemed to be, at the time oblivious to me, some running joke about why he was there. Somewhere in that jumble of weeks, I fell head over heels in love with him, just like your mother had with your father. Three or four weeks later, my father walked into my bed room and again he said, 'Addyson, I have found you a man'. I had been brushing my hair and thinking about Gregory. I stopped mid-stroke and left the brush tangled in my curls. Spun around absolutely terrified because I had just arrived at the conclusion of my love for Greg and asked who. He looked at me and said, 'Gregory, the same man I came to you about four or five weeks ago'. Then he walked out of my room." Antony laughed from a good place. He could see the young Addyson throughout the story. Could see her sass and stark refusal. She had probably made some of the same faces that Victoria had given to him.

"Yeah. We were mated with in two weeks of that little incident. For two weeks, your mother would not let me hear the end of it. Going on and on about how I had said I wasn't going to be mated. Took seven and a half years to have Victoria."

Not wanting the conversation to end he asked, "What made you name her Victoria?"

Addyson's face lit up with the story. "While I was pregnant, Gregory would guess where he thought her head was and draw little crowns on my stomach. Told her day in and day out that she was a princess. He would tell her the stories of all the great queens and female alphas. He had a new one for every day. Told her that she would be just as great and even better than those women." She paused to smile and sip her tea. "About three weeks before she was born, he was busy telling her the story of Queen Victoria. As he was telling it, she pushed her hand right where his was resting. He looked up at me with awe and said, 'Her name is Victoria. My princess Victoria. So in the end, I gave birth to Victoria Antoinette. Antoinette because I was a personal fan of Marie's story, just not the ending. The following ten years were the happiest of my life."

He nodded solemnly. She had told him the rough time line of Gregory's madness. He imagined a young Victoria. The telling purple eyes set in a younger, innocent face. A face without the worn lines of torment. Eyes that didn't look on the verge of terror and fear. His eyes aimlessly followed the stroke of Addyson's fingers as she moved them across the mug cradled in her hands.

He finally asked the question that had been pushing its way from the back of his mind. "How did you keep her whole? I mean she danced, she fenced, she cooks. From what you told me, it doesn't seem possible that Gregory would allow those sort of things."

"I did everything that I could to keep her alive and remotely happy. I convinced him that dance was helpful in her fighting. I convinced him that knife work in the kitchen would teach her finesse on the battlefield. Short-range knife work that her fencing wouldn't benefit. I fought for everything that made her happy. It didn't always work. I had taught her to sew when she was little. He never went to her room and so it was one thing that she could keep secret. One day she got so wrapped up in a project that she forgot her training. He walked calmly into her room, picked up the machine and threw it out the window. Told her she was never to touch another one of the 'useless' appliances. Then he made her train for five hours. All I could do was watch because that was the day that Victoria started to shut everything out. She never cried after that. She did not want to do anything she loved. She didn't want to give him another reason to throw out the things she loved. She stopped cooking, and if she could have giving up dancing and fencing, she would have. She stopped living for herself and let her hatred fill her up. It took two months for her to cry after we escaped. Without Gregory being there to beat her into the ground, she couldn't hold it back. Her grandfather, my father, forced her to spend time with him. She never talked and neither did he, but they were always in the room together. He taught her little things like he did when she was little, even though she shied away from his every touch. Every time she looked at him, you could tell she was calculating. Her lack of trust and fear poured out of her. My father soothed her like the wild, wounded wolf that she was. He never pushed anything but that she would spend her time with him. Two long months and then one night, she just broke down in my father's arms. She cried for hours, nonstop, and she never said one word the whole time. That night she fell asleep in my father's arms and that was the closest I had seen her with a man since she was ten. Even her fencing coach wasn't allowed to touch her. She never went into his office and she was never alone with him. She has only cried once since then. That was the first night we arrived here. She has never stopped looking over her shoulder, never stopped suspecting everyone. Her grandfather is the only man she allowed to touch her, the only man she gave her trust to...until you, that is."