In the Vineyard Ch. 03

Joanna Hollingsworth, AKA "Someone's Mother," had been working in radio for nearly 30 years. She had been an aspiring actress, but was her figure was generous during a time when thinner bodies were trendy. She was blessed, however, with a versatile voice that made her a natural for radio. She was outgoing and a devoted self promoter, always flashy and modern in her choice of clothing. In fact, she made it one of her projects to try to makeover her current assistant Claudette. Claudette favored black clothes, turtlenecks and stretch pants, wore thick lensed glasses. Her hair was cut in a severe ear length bob. Joanne was becoming resigned to the fact that she and Claudette simply belonged to different generations, each with its own philosophy of beauty.

During her career, Joann had DJ'd progressive rock, R & B, contemporary Christian, and 'cool' jazz. She had names to go with the genres, from 'Jo Rock' to 'Josephine Cool.' She eventually became frustrated trying to keep up with continually changing formats, so she tried her hand at talk radio, starting with a call in program running after city council and school board meeting broadcasts. One night, after a heated council debate, the council president's wife called in, critical of her husband's performance. In the course of the conversation, she made startling disclosures - she and her husband were having marital problems, the kids had been in legal trouble, and she was about to check herself into a drug rehab center due to a dependence on painkillers. Joanna managed to encourage the rehab, give sound advice about the kids (put the younger in private school, tell the 18 year old to move on), and repair the marriage (it's the sex, honey). Joanna's response to that call convinced her, if not the radio bosses, that she'd found a format that was a success. And, more importantly, made her feel good. She shopped her idea to multiple stations before a sports oriented AM station agreed to put her on for a trial basis. Joanna came up with the "Someone's Mother" concept - she thought it sounded sincere, and she herself had been married and divorced 4 times, caring for multiple children and step children - here was a chance to share the experience, if not wisdom that she'd developed through the years. She soon found that most of her calls were straightforward, and her greatest challenge was in making her advice appear to have some variety. But, how many different answers are there to 'my boyfriend/ husband/ lover is being unfaithful, what should I do?' (the answers all started with the same substance, ' dump him,' the variation was in the style ' follow him to his girlfriends house and confront him there,' or ' pack your things and sneak out during the day when he's at work'). What Joanna really longed for was the chance to genuinely feel like she'd made a difference, like she had with the council president's wife. She sensed more and more that most people who called her already knew the answers to their problems. She wanted, more than anything to be responsible for someone finding real happiness.

Joanna looked at Claudettes notes about Ana. "Hello there, Francine. Nice name. I see you have man trouble."

Ana realized she was on the radio. She mumbled. "Un huh."

'What's that, speak up. I can't hear you."

Ana cleared her throat. "Yes."

"So, tell me about it. You went out with him, right, and its over. Like that. Kaput."

"Well, I'm not sure."

"So, I'm not doing this for my health. Tell me about it."

Ana started hesitantly at first. It was really just like talking to someone on the phone. "I met this really sharp looking guy. " She added, "Now, I am dating my ex husband."

"Wait a minute. So, you're divorced. And dating. Explain that to me."

Ana tried to make it sound logical. "Yes. My ex wants to get back with me. But then I met this other man."

"Sounds like you aren't that into your ex. After all, you did divorce him. Or, let him divorce you. And, why else would you date someone else?"

"That's right. So, I met this man, and he asked me to come over to his place. But, he didn't say it was a date...he had...another reason. A perfectly good reason, too."

"He didn't ask you to look at his etchings, did he?" Joanna laughed. "Don't tell me you fell for some line?"

"No, Not exactly. No. I had left something...there...near where he lives. So I went to pick it up. And then, when I got there, it turned out that he planned to go out, like a real date, but then I sort of blew it and asked him where this was all leading, and he sort of got uptight, and...I ended up leaving."

"Have you spoken to him since?"

"Yes, but not about that. He's just been sort of, you know, cool." Ana sipped at the sparkling wine nervously. She reached for the bottle and topped her glass off.

"Do I know cool? Yes, I do know cool. In fact, I am cool. But, back to you. Lets go back a few steps. Here are some mother questions I would ask my own daughter about any man. Does he have a job?"

"Oh, yes. And he's devoted it to it. In fact, he wants to start his own business."

"Wants to start a business, hmm. Is he attached?"

"Well, he was seeing someone, but he's not now."

"Long term?"

"No, just casual dating, I believe."

"So he's less attached than you. Considering the ex husband."

Ana agreed that, in essence, he was.

"Is he clean? I mean hygienic?"

"Well, I've seen him work outside. But the rest of the time, yes."

"Does he use foul language?"

"Only mildly."

"Now, Francine. Please don't get upset. I'm sure you're a nice girl. But, I have to ask - has he tried to, you know, take advantage of you?"

"Oh, no. He's been a perfect gentleman. He hasn't even tried to kiss me." She added, "Other than on the hand."

"So, let me understand this. This man, this GOOD LOOKING man who HAS A JOB, mind you, and WANTS TO START HIS OWN BUSINESS, and HASN'T TRIED TO GET INSIDE YOUR PANTS, or SKIRT if you prefer, and he KISSES YOU ON THE HAND, you've somehow made mad and you wonder if you should try to get him back. DO I NEED TO DRAW YOU A PICTURE?" Joanna always raised her voice when she was trying to make a point. "Tell me, exactly what did you do or say?"

"Well, I put some pressure on him about the future, and he got upset. He said it wasn't a good time for him to make a commitment."

"And, now that you look back, why do you think that was? And, by the way, do you think its normal to ask about commitment on the FIRST DATE?."

It sounded silly to Ana, put that way. "No. Maybe I pushed things a little bit. And, maybe it was worse because he wants to start his own business. He told me he has to save everything. I guess I put a little bit too much pressure on him"

"Just maybe the first date isn't quite the right time to start looking at the BIG PICTURE. So, maybe you scared him with your future talk. Maybe he thinks you expect a ring next week, or something."

"I certainly don't."

"Francine, tell me something. You know this man well enough to be calling me for help to work things out. Do you believe, in your heart of hearts, that he can start his own business and make it work? I mean work enough to support himself. And maybe someday a wife. Answer me honestly."

Ana didn't have to think long. Miles had already been a success - in turning around Creek Valley - and she was certain already that nothing would get in the way of his obsession with wine. "Oh, yes, absolutely."

"OK, Francine. Here's why that is so important. Because,if, in the greater someday, one day ,scheme of things, you end up with this man, this entraprenuer, his business will be your business. And, you'd better believe in it before you follow someone else's dream."

"Yes, I see that. You're right. That's pretty heavy. But, I do believe that he will make it. I'm not sure if this will get that serious, though"

"AHA," cackled Joanna, laughing. "You see - you're having the same reaction that he did. Do you see that? When I ask about the future, you say you're not sure yet. Don't you think that's normal, after ONLY ONE DATE?"

Ana agreed that it must be.

"OK, Francine. Good enough. Let's get you back on the right track. Lets think about this. You said he's saving his money. You don't happen to be the type who expects to be treated like a princess all of the time?"

She remembered that Miles had called her a princess. "Well, I'm not. But maybe people think I am."

"And, a man who's saving his money, he's probably just a little intimidated by that."

"Possibly."

"Can you ask him out? I mean, you pick him up, and you pay, you know? Or, at least you pay for yourself, you know. Go Dutch, they used to call it."

"I don't know how he'd take that. I wouldn't feel comfortable asking."

"Well, then here's my thought. Ask him over for dinner. You cook. That way, you can show him he's not obligated to take you out all of the time."

"That's a good idea. But, how do I make the first approach? I don't know what to say. I'm afraid he's mad at me."

"Here's some Mothers' wisdom - don't call. Send him a note, or better yet, a blank card with a nice picture. No email, no voicemail, give him something he can hold. Write something honest, you'll come up with the words, and extend your invitation. And, leave a number, but tell him to call back only if he CAN'T make it. That makes it easier for him to show than cancel. Even if he wants to end it, once and for all, if he's a gentleman, he'd rather show up than do it on the phone. Then, I know you can, Francine, you can dress just so, dim the lights, play soft music, make it so he realizes how crazy he is for you. Can you do that for me?"

"I can try," Ana said.

"Good luck," said Joanna. "Call me back later on to tell me how it went."

Ana hung up the phone. She didn't hear the editorializing Joanna added for the sake of the radio audience. "He has a JOB. And, is SAVING money. And, he KISSES her HAND, for gosh sakes. And, this woman is calling ME for advice. Oh, boy. I should be so lucky. Some people don't know a good thing... if it hits them on the HEAD." It was the top of the hour, time for a news update. Joanna took her head set off, looked over at Claudette and smiled. "We did a good job on that one, didn't we?" Claudette nodded.

"Jo, when you're good, you're good," she said.

At the winery, Kayla turned the radio down as Miles walked in to the retail area. She hated to miss "Ask Somebody's Mother," even when she was at work. She was especially glad she had been listening, if that last caller was who she thought it was. 'Francine' sounded suspiciously familiar. And, although Kayla wasn't at the winery on Saturday, her friend Rita who worked during the cook outs was, and told her that a certain Ms. Palmer was seen, but departed quite abruptly. So, it stood to reason that she was calling about Miles. And, she did mention dating her ex husband. Who else could it be?

After Rita mentioned Ana, Kayla initially assumed that Ana came by Saturday to buy some wine - she didn't see how Miles could have made a move that quickly. After all, they'd see Ana on Friday, with gorgeous Greg! Maybe it happened when she went to the ladies' room - and she recalled that Greg was off taking a telephone call when she got back. She had to admit that was pretty slick on Miles' part. She was jealous - not as much over Ana herself as over the fact that Miles must have made a move that quickly. Kayla had done the pursuing in their case, and Miles went from disinterest to slight friendliness - he was usually a charming and well-mannered companion - and then he'd basically dumped her without any remorse. And now, he was back to being disinterested, as if they never had dated at all.

Kayla made a mental note to get the mail for the next few days. She didn't what she would do if something arrived addressed to Miles from Ana Palmer. But, she was dying to know if that had been Ana on the radio.

Miles walked up. "Thank you for turning off that garbage. I can't see why anyone listens to that. That woman is so full of it!"

"You know, Miles, you're absolutely right!" Kayla smiled at him.

Jimmy switched off the radio as Brandon walked into the room.

"What were you listening to?' Brandon asked.

"Oh, just some talk radio," Jimmy replied. He had a thoughtful look on his face.

"Something good?" Brandon asked.

"Good for someone else, maybe," Jimmy replied. He made a mental note to check the mail at the winery this week.

Ana downed another glass of sparkling wine. Her friends were jubilant - "See, we told you," said Mary.

"But, sometimes you've got to hear it from a mother," Veronica added. "OK, now we have to write this note to mysterious Miles." She kept referring to him that way - she liked the sound of the M words.

"What do you mean we?" Ana retorted. "This isn't a group project."

"Oh, yes it is. Vern's right. Now that we've come this far, we're not going to let you screw it up. " Mary looked back at her. "If this Miles thing works out, would you care if I asked Greg for a date?"

"Very funny."

"I wasn't kidding. God, he's so cute!"

Veronica interrupted the exchange. "Blank cards, do you keep blank cards? Or, some kind of note cards?"

"Not really." Ana said, hoping they would drop the subject.

"I know! How about computer graphics?" Mary walked over and switched the pc on.

"Leave it to the teacher," said Veronica.

Mary went through a file of software and found a title she liked. She rummaged through Ana's supplies and found a partial package of card paper and envelopes. Ana had often made custom thank you notes when she was working - she found that she increased her opportunities for another shot at a piece of business when she thanked someone for an unsuccessful try. "Ok, Ana. You are going to have to contribute something. What great words are you thinking of?"

"None of your business." But Ana walked over to watch as Mary turned the computer on.

Mary started to play with the designs she saw. She selected a graphic of a couple in sillhouette, seated at a table for two with wine glasses in their hands. There were candles on the table, and the moon and stars shone overhead. "How's this?"

Ana had to admit that it looked good. "Can you blur the outlines a little?" Mary complied, and then added a lavender tint to the whole picture. She moved on to the inside of the card.

"Vern, what do you think? You're better at this than me. I'm so used to being around teenagers at school. And, they are as far from romantic as possible."

Veronica thought. "Well, you don't just want to start with something about getting in his pants." She took a sip of champagne, and refilled her glass. Ana noticed that they were running out and opened another bottle.

"This should be simple. And honest. Ana?" Mary looked at her.

"Ok. How about. "Can we try this again? I have some wine I'd like you to taste." She interrupted herself - "That's what he asked me over for, the first time. "

"You can find me at - put in my address. I'll be waiting for you at 7 o'clock, this Friday. What's the date, use the actual date - the 17th? RSVP only with regrets. Then, write my number. Both numbers, use my cell. Too. I'll sign it and draw a little map inside the cover of the card."

"Sounds great," Mary said. Sappy, but great!" She tried a couple of different fonts, typed in the wording and paused to look at it. She loaded the paper and hit print. She backed to another screen, and pasted a smaller version of the card design on the flap of the envelope. She pasted Ana's address in the return address point, and asked Ana for the address of the winery. Ana stopped to think - she didn't know the address.

"Phone book?" asked Vern.

"I don't know. It's not that close." Ana responded

"Guys!" said Mary with mock disgust. "Get into the twenty first century. They must have a web sight!" She signed on the internet and checked a search engine. She found the winery's web sight and clicked on the address. "Here we go," said Mary The home page opened. One of the links read 'Wines and Winemaker.' Mary clicked on it, and a picture of Miles materialized slowly. Ana drew closer - she hadn't even thought to look for a web sight. There he was, smiling, wearing a sleeveless tee shirt, this one wine colored, with his hair slightly longer than it was now, layers spilling onto his back, with the mustache but no beard. It was a shot from waist up, and Miles had his arms folded, the outlines of his muscles clearly defined. He had a sort of half smile, but his eyes were staring straight ahead, right into the camera's lens. On the page was a list and description of each of the wines offered, and a brief profile of the winemaker. It stated hat Miles Delong arrived 8 years ago, and had increased the numbers and types of grapes grown. Then followed a listing of awards, won at various competitions, and a couple of short quotes from Miles about improving the image of Midwestern America's wines. Ana couldn't take her eyes from the computer - the picture of Miles seemed to stare right through her. Mary and Veronica made some comments, Veronica's mostly sexual. They agreed that he was, in fact, worth chasing after. "I don't know, " Mary said. "He may be better looking than Greg. Different, anyway. And, look at those arms!"

"I bet his other body parts are impressive, too," added Vern. Ana blushed, but enjoyed hearing her friends' compliment Miles looks. It was nice to know that someone was on her side, for a change, not full of warnings about the danger of getting involved with Miles.

Mary finally remembered to copy the winery's address. She pasted it on the envelope and typed ATTN: Miles Delong, and, on the bottom corner, in large letters wrote "personal and confidential." She printed the envelope, and, just as she finished, a car horn honked outside.

"It must be six. That's Chris," said Veronica. "Ana, sign this. We'll take it to the post office on our way home. Let's see, this is Monday. It should arrive Wednesday, no later than Thursday, for a Friday date, that's not enough time for him to really think about it. He'll be here. " She took the card from Ana and walked toward the door. "And, I want to see you with this guy sometime. No doubt, he is a hunk. But, I never would have guessed you would come up with a guy like that!"

Mary had planned to stay and eat dinner with Ana, a good idea given the champagne they'd consumed. Ana started to boil water, and cooked some fresh squash stuffed ravioli she had previously made and frozen. They ate the ravioli topped only with freshly grated romano cheese, and Mary pronounced it a feast. Ana made some expresso in her imported Italian machine, and they savored two cups each. At about 9, Mary announced that she had to return to finish her grading. She left, and Ana, exhausted, went to bed. The last thing she remembered was imagining the picture of Miles, only, this time, he was talking to her. "What is it you really want, Ms. Palmer?" he seemed to be asking her.