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Click here"Christine! Come in, come in!"
Her eyes drifted to the incredible foyer behind me and widened.
"Adam, this is bonkers! I've never seen anything like this."
Grinning, I took a box from her and tucked it under an arm.
"You don't know the half of it."
I pulled her into the foyer, setting the box down to open arms dramatically. "Tah dah! Whaddya think? Nice, right?"
Her jaw dropped as she took in the sweeping circular staircase, thirty-foot vaulted ceiling and grand chandelier. Walking around slowly in awe, she completely ignored me to check out the authentic artwork and domed alcoves with sculptures on pedestals. Her fingertips trailed across the fine upholstery of the furniture in appreciation.
Christine's ass looked scrumptious in her painted-on jeggings, enticing me to come squeeze it as she circulated the room. That would have to wait though.
"Did you use the garage door opener I gave you?" I inquired. Ia had provided me a set so that we'd all have our own dedicated garage space. Between Ia's two cars and the rest, eight bays were plenty with room to spare.
"Yeah. I felt a little weird pulling my clunker into this fancy garage, but I'm not complaining."
"Alright, after we get a moment to chat I'll grab your stuff."
She stopped her circuit of the room to stand before me, seeming to finally realize I was really here. She gave me a radiant smile. "Well aren't you a gentleman."
"Come here, you!" I opened arms again and she rushed into my embrace. Memories of good times at her old apartment flooded me when I caught the clean herb-infused citrus scent of her hair. Looking down at her, I spoke softly, "Missed you, Baby."
Her eyes watered a moment, and she stood on tiptoes to reach for a kiss. I indulged her but kept it brief. No tongue.
It was a good thing I did, too, because I caught Ia coming down the stairs just as I pulled my lips from hers. Not that it wasn't likely that she'd see plenty of that in the future, but it wasn't quite how I wanted them to meet.
"And you must be Christine." Ia looked stunning in a fitted dark green skirt suit with black pumps that clacked loudly on the floor as she strutted toward us.
Christine scrambled to disengage from me, fixing her slightly mussed hair quickly.
"Yes, Ma'am. I mean, should I call you Ms. Galatas?" She spoke in a rush. The poor thing was so adorable. I pushed calm into her with my power and her trembling calmed somewhat.
"No, no, dear, Ianthe is fine," My Mediterranean darling said, extending a delicate hand, "after all, I know we'll be becoming close friends."
Friendly words, but Ia's tone was somewhat chilly, and I could tell it was making Christine nervous. Though it was probably a well-used defense mechanism meant to engender respect more than friendliness.
I briefly considered a reminder to keep my Pet in line, but I wanted this to play out naturally. I'd only step in if things really got nasty.
"Right. Ianthe then," Christine lowered her head, clasping hands briefly with Ia, "It's nice to finally meet you. Adam's told me all about you." She gently elbowed me in the ribs, shooting me a look of mock reproach, "Though he didn't say I was supposed to dress up. You look absolutely stunning."
Ia looked to me, eyes crinkling. Ahh, vanity. The well-trodden path to a woman's heart. "Well, I'm glad to hear I rate as a topic of conversation! No need to be embarrassed, my dear, you look perfectly lovely. That top flatters your eyes."
Christine blushed, "You're too kind."
"Actually, you'll have to excuse me. I'm dressed like this because I intend to run out. Work calls," she said regretfully, "and anyway, you two could probably use the time to orient to your new home."
"That's...very thoughtful of you, Ianthe," Christine was taken aback, "but I don't want to be a bother."
Ianthe brushed off the notion with the wave of a hand. "Don't be silly. In truth, I had planned to get a bit more work done today, but," she sighed deeply in mock exasperation, looking into my eyes meaningfully, "I have a demanding master who has kept me rather busy today."
I hadn't been exactly sure how Ianthe was going to handle being submissive to me in front of my other bonds, but I wasn't going to force the issue. That was up to her.
Christine subconsciously glanced at my package at this, blushing at the innuendo before a small smile crept onto her face. "He can be rather hard to keep up with, can't he?"
Inserting myself between them, I draped an arm over each woman's shoulder, conspiratorially saying, "You both know you wouldn't have me any other way." My hands wandered down to their backsides, giving each a possessive little squeeze laced with a thread of pleasure.
Both women flushed and shivered, and I disengaged.
Ia was the first to collect herself. "Come, let's sit and chat for a bit. There will be plenty of time for...a tour later," she pulled at Christine's hand.
The two ladies led the way, and I followed, noting how physically different they were. My Mediterranean lover was at least five or six inches taller than the diminutive brunette and had a much more traditional hourglass shape. Though both were slender, Ia's legs had much more muscle tone, likely since Christine wasn't very physically active. Christine had a much smaller waist and torso, with narrow shoulders and small breasts compared to Ia's larger frame.
Naturally, only the towering Ella could compete with the size and shape of Christine's superlative butt. The way those hams rolled with her stride like a couple of Chinese stress relief balls had me entranced.
In the parlor, four leather chairs sat in a square arrangement, and I chose the one next to Christine to hold her hand. Though no doubt insecure in the present situation, Ia had home-field advantage, and I wanted to set Christine at ease too. The little creature was being figuratively dropped behind enemy lines, and I wanted to help her make it back to safety. I caught Ia quickly glance at our contact.
Was it wrong that I got a little thrill from the jealousy?
As we sat, I admired the front lawns and large fountain in the center of the circular drive bracketed by the garages. Wide, floor-length windows at the front of the parlor afforded the beautiful view of the setting.
"Pet, how about some drinks?" It was great that things were going smoothly so far, but I wanted to reassure my good girl that she could still please me.
Ia rose. "Yes, Master. Christine, can I offer you something? Wine, perhaps? I've got a nice selection in the cellar."
"Uh," she shot me an uncertain glance and I gave her a nod. "I don't really know much about wine, but I'll take a beer if you've got one."
"Right away."
She disappeared into the adjoining kitchen.
Christine turned to me a slapped me on the shoulder. "Well that was rude," she whispered emphatically.
"What?" I said, feigning injury.
"You just sent her on an errand to fetch us drinks. You should be getting them."
I chuckled. "Christine, just trust me when I say I'm not being rude, and I know how she prefers to be spoken to. You're probably going to see a lot of stuff in the days ahead of us that may shock you a bit, but you've got to trust me that I have all of your best interests at heart. You just go on being you, and I'll do my thing. Okay?"
Her narrowed eyes told me she wasn't buying it completely, but she let it go.
Moments later, Jimmy Durante's grainy voice emanated from the embedded speakers throughout the room. Ia loved the old crooners from back in the day; Sinatra, Martin, Bobby Darin, and that ilk.
"So, first impressions?" I asked in a low tone.
"Ianthe?" I nodded. "She's so...adult. I don't know another way to put it, but being around her makes me feel like such a kid. And she's so gorgeous! Intimidatingly gorgeous, really; but very nice though! Not what I expected, really. I can't believe I'm actually going to be living in this place." she said, taking in the opulence of our surroundings, stroking the full-grain leather of her armrest, "it's all so incredible. I feel like I'm in some kind of ritzy hotel for foreign dignitaries or something, you know?"
"I know, it's a lot to take in, but I'm glad you're here. I feel like I haven't seen you in ages."
Her attention narrowed to tune out the distracting surroundings as she focused on my eyes, giving my hand a squeeze. "Me too. I've missed you," she leaned over and gave me a peck on the lips, "and now I get to have my Adam all the time." She sighed. "It's like a dream come true."
I grinned as Ia returned to the room with two beers in pint glasses, setting them both on the elegant coffee that divided the chairs.
"None for you?" Christine asked.
"Driving."
"Ah, right. Now I feel bad." The curly brunette gave Ia a sad little frown.
"Please don't, just enjoy. I would have offered you a selection, but all I have are a few of Adam's favorites. Truth to tell, I never kept much beer in the house until now. I'm afraid I'm not much of a beer connoisseur - though I'm eager to learn!" The last was directed at me.
Licking my upper lip clean of deliciously hoppy foam, I set my glass down. "Well, it's not as though I really have a lot of experience myself, but I know what I like."
Christine's attention had drifted back to the room. "You have an amazing home, Ianthe."
Ia bowed her head in acceptance, sitting back in her seat and crossing her legs. A good amount of trim thigh showed below the hem of her skirt, drawing Christine's eye immediately.
"So, what are you two going to get up to when I'm gone?"
"I wasn't sure what you'd have on hand, so I bought a few groceries for dinner. Figured I'd make us something to eat while the big guy here gets the heavy stuff out of the car for me." She patted my leg affectionately.
Ia's eyes narrowed at the suggestion of Christine putting me on the receiving end of an order, but I gave her a little shake of the head. "Sounds great Babe, got you covered."
For the time it took us to finish our beers, Ia peppered Christine with questions about her home life. I got the sense that this was the standard operating procedure for Ia: analyze and categorize.
"Well, I'd better get going," Ia stood to take her leave, "Christine, it's been so nice meeting you. I'll be back around 11." She jerked her head in the direction of the garage, "Walk me out, Adam?"
I patted Christine's hand, "Relax, I'll be right back."
Following the sexy sway of Ia's hips down the hall, I had a fleeting concern that something had gone wrong and that I was in store for a talk, but her life pattern showed me only contentment.
We got to the door to the garage, well beyond earshot, she turned and grabbed my shirt with both hands, jerking me to into a passionate kiss. Her heels put her just below my height, so she didn't have to work hard to attack my mouth, giving me a soul-searing kiss that left my mind foggy and my cock on the move.
A minute later, she forcefully pushed away, breaking our steamy union.
"That's to remember me by when I'm gone, and you're drilling that cute little thing tonight." She pulled a loose tendril of hair behind her ear and looked at me with furrowed brows, "I do this for you, Master."
My wonderful Ianthe. Titaness of industry and a force to be reckoned with in all other ways, reduced to an insecure little girl at the thought of being replaced in my regard.
"Pet, you have made me so proud of you this day, I want to give you a gift."
I closed my eyes to focus on the complex manipulation of Vitae required to achieve what I intended. Focusing intently, I channeled what life force I could afford into removing a small part of my psyche from my pattern, deftly weaving it within hers. Until it wore off, part of me would be with her to stave off the loneliness I knew she feared.
Momentarily regarding me in wonder, she soon gave up trying to understand, and simply enjoyed. Her eyes closed in bliss and she hugged herself, feeling my embrace in return.
"Thank you, Master. This is a wonderful gift."
"No, thank you, my beautiful girl. You have made your master a very happy man tonight."
Thanks for reading! Be sure to like, favorite, and subsc- whoops, I mean...feel free to comment :O)
One of the coolest parts about this story is how Adam can sense deep emotions in other people. It's a really cool power that drives his character, and if we saw more of that, it would help us understand some situations really well.
Awesome job!
Please, never ever change the 1st person POV. Its purpose is to allow the reader to live the story through being that person. Changing that person needs totally altering the tone of the story, especially if it involves gender changes. If it was your intention to do this you would have been better served writing it all in 3rd person. Once on the path with 1st POV you are stuck with that one person to the end.
I could say a lot more, but I only upset everyone.
@Doortothe Thanks for your comment. Doing another POV is an idea I've toyed with, as I do like the balance it gives in telling the story. I did this in my first story, Paradise Found, but that was a very different tale, intended to showcase the changing gender dynamics from both perspectives. IP is a story about Adam, and though I see your point about giving more opportunity for telling through showing, I prefer the sense of unknown frame of mind of his ladies. The entire Ella arc that occurred in chapters 9 and 10 would have been almost pointless (or at best, would have felt like it dragged out unnecessarily to the reader) if we had gotten inside Ella's head. Also, I've struggled with who to choose. Ella makes the most sense, of course, but then again she's really only gotten maybe 20-25k words of screen time out of the ~83k of the story. If I were to give her the POV, would I then need to give one to each of the ladies? And if that were true, I can't help feeling that Adam's perspective would essentially be an afterthought, which I definitely don't want. Not saying I definitely won't do this, but it's doubtful.
Re: the stopping point, yes, that could have been done better. As I mentioned in my note, ch 11 and what will be ch 12 were intended as a single chapter, which would have obviated the need for the break. Unfortunately I started having a good time writing scenes with Ia (as I tend to do), and ch 11 got a little long. The break point is just an obvious one since Ia departs, and Adam with Christine finally get some alone time "on screen" in ch 12.
On scope creep, yes, it definitely is a challenge, but I don't particularly agree with your assertion that slowing the introduction of partners would have improved the pacing. To be honest I feel like IP is almost glacial in it's pace compared to most harem fantasy out there. Close to 85k words and we have three actual harem members with a likely fourth in the offing - which will probably still require another few chapters to iron out. To be clear, I'm not touting this a strength necessarily, as some of that length could have been cut down through better editing or being more choosy about only using the best scenes to carry the narrative, but alas, I'm not a professional writer and I don't use an editor. Certainly, keeping the narrative tighter and more focused would help with this, and this is certainly one of the areas I could use the most improvement. But ultimately IP is a mix of "daydream" episodic fantasy with a harem drama. At least, that's the way I see it. I'm aiming for a story that mixes two very different harem aspects: the titillation of "the conquest" (i.e. new personalities, the thrill of that first meeting, the "strange", etc); and well executed (i.e. realistic) romance. I want to continue to cultivate both aspects, going forward.
Thanks again for your comment, I appreciate the opportunity to discuss my work and potential areas for improvement.
I'd really adore a chapter from Ella's perspective. It'd make sense-transitionally speaking, while allowing for less exposition-ladin world-building, as you could do more showing than telling.
The stopping point is pretty awkward, gotta say. Then again, the scope creep on a harem is pretty large, as I'm sure you've noticed. Maybe spacing out the introduction of the girls would have evened out the pace.
The focus on getting the girls to get along is great of course. God, Ia's mind is just so sexy to me, haha.