Innocence Lost

Her breath caught in her throat as the final button fell prey to his calloused fingers. She could smell her own fear; a combination of sweat and the fetid air hanging motionless in the gloom. Claustrophobia was beginning to make her hyperventilate, but she fought the urge to scream and push his hands away. The last thing she wanted was for him to see how scared she was.

"So pure and...untainted," David said, almost to himself.

He smiled, a slow predatory smile, before his gaze dropped down from her eyes and into her cleavage. It felt like something unpleasant was crawling across her skin as his eyes devoured her tender flesh. She shivered.

"Exquisite," he murmured before reaching out and touching one exposed nipple with a fat, nicotine stained finger.

Beth recoiled in horror and tried to cover her body. Almost immediately two hands grabbed her arms from behind and yanked them back. The other man held her with far more force than was necessary as she tried in vain to wriggle free. She knew ker skin would be stained purple within a short space of time, but then that was nothing to what else was probably about to be inflicted upon her.

"There's no point in fighting this." David's words were soft, almost sympathetic. He looked sad for a moment as he watched Beth. "It's your destiny," he told her kindly.

*

One week earlier...

"We're here," announced Ryan with a sideways glance at her.

Beth opened her eyes and yawned sleepily before gazing out through the car window. The house was nothing like she expected. It stood beneath the towering elms like a faded southern belle in her twilight years. There was an air of neglect hanging over the place like a dusty shroud.

The front door creaked open when Ryan jumped out of the car to stretch his legs. Beth shielded her eyes against the glare of the afternoon sun as it caught a pane of glass and temporarily blinded her.

"You must be Beth," said a low, smooth voice.

The man smiling at her was tall, taller than Ryan, and much broader. His dark hair was tinged with silver and the way his cold blue eyes briefly flickered over her body sent a shiver down her spine. This had to be David, Ryan's step-father.

"Hi, yeah, I'm Beth," she offered politely. "Ryan's told me all about you."

"I'm sure he has, my dear." The man smiled, but it was a cold smile, one that didn't quite reach his eyes.

He's like a snake, Beth thought uncomfortably.

"Hey David," Ryan grinned as he dropped their bags on the driveway. "Where's Mum?"

"She's in the kitchen as usual. You know how she is."

Both men chuckled lightly, sharing some kind of private joke, but David's eyes were on Beth the moment Ryan turned away. Goose bumps prickled her skin despite the oppressive heat of the day and she fought the sudden urge to run away.

"Come on, Beth, let's go see Mum." Ryan headed off towards the house and with one last predatory glance at her David followed him. Beth sighed as she picked up her holdall bag. They were stuck here for a week and she was just going to have to lump it.

She heard the wrought iron gate clanking shut across the driveway as they entered the house. Like a prison, thought Beth with increasing unease.

*

"That's a pretty necklace," Katherine commented as she passed Beth a bowl of apple crumble.

Beth smiled at Ryan's mum, briefly touching the simple gold cross that hung around her neck. "Thanks, it was a birthday present from my aunt."

David leaned over and examined the necklace that was resting lightly between Beth's breasts. "Nice," he commented.

Nobody but her seemed to notice the subtext lying beneath his innocent comment and Beth wondered, not for the first time, why they all thought he was wonderful. David was Katherine's second husband—Ryan's father had apparently been killed in a car accident when Ryan was small. Katherine had remarried when Ryan was thirteen and by all accounts, Ryan thought his stepfather was an okay guy.

She couldn't put her finger on what it was, but there was definitely something about him that made her deeply uncomfortable. Every time she turned around, he was there, watching her with his cold blue eyes.

"He gives me the creeps," she'd told Ryan earlier that evening when they were alone in her room. Ryan's room was further down the corridor, but he had come along to walk downstairs with her to dinner.

He laughed with genuine amusement. "You're over reacting!"

"I'm not," she replied huffily. "I know what I feel."

"He can be a little intense sometimes," Ryan conceded as he lay on her bed, watching her brush her long hair. "That's just the way he is—'deep' Mum always says. He doesn't mean anything by it. Besides, he's going away in a couple of days to some church thing."

"What church?" Beth was surprised. Ryan hadn't mentioned that David was a vicar and somehow the image of him preaching benevolently from a pulpit didn't quite fit.

"Oh some ultra secretive thing he's involved with." Ryan rolled his eyes dismissively. "I dunno what it's all about—he never talks about it and Mum stays out of it, so I don't take much notice."

Beth pulled the hairbrush through her hair and wondered just what he was involved in. It sure didn't sound like the local Methodist church. They had gone down for dinner as Beth continued to mull over the enigma that was David. Now, as she glanced up from her bowl of apple crumble, she found David watching her again. The mouthful of food abruptly stuck in her throat and she coughed, trying to dislodge it.

"Are you okay, my dear?" David asked solicitously before passing her a glass of wine.

"I'm fine, thanks." She gulped some of the exceedingly dry wine down and her eyes watered. It tasted rather strange; woody, earthy almost. With a grimace of distaste she couldn't quite disguise, Beth pushed the glass away and reached for some water instead.

"Not to your taste?" David commented with a faint smile.

"No, not really. I don't usually drink wine." It was a lie, but she didn't want to offend Katherine.

Ryan chuckled. "David's wine is all home produced," he said. "Fermented from all manner of weird and wonderful things he grows in the gardens. I stopped asking years ago what he makes it from." He winked at Beth and she felt his hand squeeze hers beneath the table.

"Would you like a coffee instead dear?" Katherine stood to collect the dishes and the conversation moved away from wine, much to Beth's relief.

*

"He likes you," Ryan said as they sat down on a stone bench beneath one of the tall elm trees. The house was hidden behind a screen of vastly overgrown rhododendron bushes, their flowers exuding a heavy perfume in the sultry night air.

Beth stared up at the inky sky, dotted with millions of twinkling stars. She wasn't sure if she wanted David to like her. What she really wanted was never to clap eyes on him again once they left this house.

"You're the first girl I've taken home that he's shown any interest in. I guess that makes you special," Ryan continued. He slipped his arm across her shoulders and nuzzled her neck. "But you know I already think you're special."

She leaned into him and relaxed. If only they hadn't come here—if only they had gone to the beach house like she'd wanted. But Ryan had been insistent that it was time for her to meet his family. "They're dying to see you," he'd said.

"Ooh, I'm getting worried now!" she'd joked. "I'll start thinking that maybe you're going to propose or something!" She hadn't been serious, but the fleeting expression of hurt that touched his eyes for a moment had made her wonder just how serious he was about their relationship.

"Your mum's lovely," Beth said eventually as Ryan stroked her arm rhythmically. His fingers on her warm skin were soothing.

"Yeah, she's a star."

Beth could hear the affection in Ryan's voice and she turned her face up towards him. "She won't want to lose her only boy," she teased gently.

"Are you suggesting I'm a mummy's boy?" he growled and she giggled.

Before she could say another word, he was kissing her firmly, his arm pulling her close against the hard wall of his chest. Thoughts of David were pushed from her head as the familiar heat bloomed inside. His fingers slid down her arm and brushed the side of her breast.

The firm pressure of Ryan's lips on hers increased, his tongue exploring her mouth as his other hand caressed her thigh. She could taste the apple crumble they'd both eaten as well as the tangy flavour of the wine. It was sweet and addictive, sending her senses reeling like pollen on the fragrant breeze wafting the elms high above.

When Ryan's lips moved across her jaw and kissed the hollow of her throat, she sighed with pleasure. It felt so good she didn't want him to stop. The delicious pulse between her legs throbbed urgently, reminding her of where this would lead if she weren't careful.

Just a little more, she chided herself silently. It won't hurt to have a small taste.

His fingers brushed across the tip of her nipple and she moaned softly. Encouraged by her response, Ryan slipped his hand inside her tee shirt and found the round softness of her breast. They both gasped with pleasure as he rubbed her engorged nipple.

"Let me see your tits," he pleaded. "Just for a moment..."

Beth was finding it difficult to string a coherent thought together when every fibre of her being wanted this to end in the most natural conclusion. "Ryan, you know how I feel about...this," she said eventually, her voice shaky with unrequited desire.

His fingers were still rubbing her nipple and she pushed against his hand helplessly, her body betraying her even though her words denied it.

"I just want to look," he pleaded. "Please Beth, I respect your wish about staying a virgin 'til you're married, but at least give me something!" He gazed at her imploringly and she wavered.

It wouldn't hurt...would it?

"Well, I guess..."

She wasn't totally convinced, but the way his fingers continued to torment her was driving her insane. As she sat there, she realised she was rubbing her thighs together, desperately trying to alleviate the ache inside.

"You know I love you, babe," Ryan crooned; eagerness had crept into his voice now that he sensed victory was almost his.

"Just a quick look?" she whispered hesitantly.

"I promise, just a quick look then we'll head back." He grinned at her in the pale moonlight and the last vestiges of her resistance waned.

"Okay." The word hung between them, a promise that might lead to so much more if she let it. But she wasn't going to allow that to happen. Her beliefs were sacred to her—a personal vow to stay pure until she made the ultimate commitment. The trouble was it was becoming increasingly difficult in the face of such temptation.

With Ryan's eyes firmly fixed on her chest, Beth pushed the straps of her tee shirt down from her shoulders until the upper portion of her breasts were exposed. It was a small step, but still she baulked. Her chest felt tight with tension and she could sense Ryan's excitement. His body was rigid beside her, taut with repressed desire.

Finally, with her fingers shaking, Beth dragged her tee shirt down until her breasts were revealed. Her nipples hardened even further under Ryan's gaze and sharp cramps of need sent a flood of moisture between her trembling thighs.

"You're beautiful," Ryan told her in an awestruck voice. Tentatively he reached out and stroked her breasts, his fingers brushing lightly across her sensitive skin like gossamer.

She moaned helplessly, unable to prevent her body from tilting towards him. When his hands cupped her flesh, she closed her eyes in rapture. The vow she'd made suddenly seemed ridiculous. Why was she denying herself such pleasure? Ryan loved her—he'd told her so many times.

Something wet and warm touched her nipple and she opened her eyes in shock. Ryan's mouth had latched on to her breast and he was sucking gently. For a moment she was lost, the sweet sensation sending her into a downward spiral of dark pleasure, but then a loud voice rang down the garden, startling them both.

"Ryan? Where are you?" David's voice was like a bucket of cold water.

She came back to earth with a resounding thud and pushed Ryan away. "No, enough," she stated shakily. "I think we should get back now." She yanked her tee shirt back up and took several deep, shuddering breaths.

"I'm sorry," Ryan said. "I just..." He shifted uncomfortably on the bench and raked one hand through his hair. "I just want you so much," he continued eventually. Taking hold of her chin in his hand he added, "I do love you, Beth, and I am willing to wait—promise."

"Sure?" she asked, wanting to believe him, but uncertain all of a sudden.

"I'm sure," he assured her. "You're worth it."

*

"Has Ryan shown you around the estate yet?" David asked over breakfast the following morning.

"No, not really," Beth replied.

"We'll go for a walk this morning, if you like," Ryan interjected as he picked up another slice of toast. "Maybe take a picnic down to the river?"

"That sounds fun," David grinned. "Pity I have things to do or we could have made a family day of it."

Beth tried to look regretful, but inwardly she thanked her lucky stars that he was busy. The thought of spending any more time in David's company made her sick. Even now he was openly staring at her every time Ryan looked away. Amazingly Katherine seemed oblivious too. It was just plain weird.

"Mum, can we have some of that cake you made yesterday? Oh and some sandwiches and stuff?"

Katherine turned around from where she was frying bacon on the stove. "Yes, Darling, I'll pack a basket for you as soon as I'm done here."

"It's lovely down by the river," Ryan told her happily. "I'll show you the chapel too. All our dear departed relatives are buried there. It's a bit creepy, but at least it'll be cool in there!"

"Ryan! Don't be filling Beth's head with rubbish!" Katherine scolded. "It's just an old church—not some haunted house!"

Ryan laughed. "So you say, Mum, but I've always thought it was dead creepy."

Bit like David, thought Beth as she stabbed viciously at a fried mushroom.

*

The chapel was well hidden. The crumbling stone walls were bound by decades of ivy and moss; some of the verdant green shrubs were virtually impenetrable. It was as if nature had decided to camouflage the place to prevent prying eyes from finding its treasures.

It was a blessed relief to be out of the hot sun; Beth's shoulders felt sore already despite the sun cream she'd applied before they left the house. She followed Ryan along the overgrown pathway that wound through the tall shrubs and bushes that concealed the entrance. It felt like nobody had come here for centuries, although Ryan had mentioned that occasional services still took place here.

"My Gran's ashes are buried in the crypt," he said in a faintly reverential voice.

"What about your Granddad?" Beth asked curiously.

"He's still alive. Well, kind of. He lives in a home now—utterly barking by all accounts."

The entrance door to the chapel looked ancient, but surprisingly, when Ryan turned the latch, it opened smoothly like it had been well oiled. He walked through the arched doorway and as Beth followed, the door swung shut behind them as if on an invisible spring.

She stood for a few moments as her eyes adjusted to the gloomy light. Although there were several small mullioned windows high up, very little light was able to find a way through the grubby panes of leaded glass, and deep purple shadows lurked in every corner. There were a few uncomfortable looking wooden pews facing a high stone altar upon which rested several candles.

To say it was supposed to be a working chapel, it was Spartan to say the least. There were no decorative artworks of any description, just a few tarnished candlesticks.

She wandered around, trying to work out why it was so cold and damp in here, when it had to be well into the high eighties outside. Some carvings in a recessed alcove caught her eye. It was difficult to make out what they represented as the light was so scarce, but Beth didn't recognise the scenes as anything biblical.

"What are these?" she asked curiously.

Ryan turned to face her. "One of my ancestors had those carved," he explained. "The story is that he was well into dodgy stuff," he said lightly. "He used this chapel as a meeting place for his deviant friends and they got up to all sorts of weird things."

He walked behind her and slid his arms around her waist.

"They say he was into Satanism," he murmured in her ear.

"But this is a church!" Beth was horrified at the thought.

"Don't panic, I think the place was consecrated and purified after his horrible demise."

"Horrible?"

"Nobody knows what really happened, but he was found torn to pieces in the woods nearby. It caused a massive scandal at the time."

Beth shuddered. She wasn't convinced that Ryan was telling her the truth, but it sure made a chilling story. The shadows around them suddenly took on greater significance and she had a strong urge to step back outside into the bright sun light.

"I think I've seen enough," she said with a shiver.

Ryan began to kiss her neck. "I haven't seen enough," he whispered in her ear. "I want to see more..."

She felt him hard against her bottom, throbbing with intent.

"Ryan, let's go—it's creepy in here."

But he didn't take any notice. Instead he slid his hands under her tee shirt and found her breasts. Her nipples were hard and she couldn't suppress a moan when he began to rub them teasingly with his thumbs.

Abruptly the temperature dropped by several degrees. Her skin prickled with goose bumps and she shivered, but not from desire. Ryan appeared oblivious; he pushed one hand downwards, edging inside the waistband of her shorts, touching the lace of her knickers.

"God, I want you, Beth," he groaned in her ear, his teeth nipping her skin. Beth tried to lose herself in his touch, but something was distracting her, like an annoying insect buzzing insistently in her ear.

She felt a low vibration in the air. It grew louder and her ears began to throb from the pressure. As she stared into the dark alcove, shapes swirled in the dense shadows and she thought she heard singing: faint chanting voices that hovered on the edge of her hearing, too indistinct to decipher any meaning.

"No, Ryan, no!"

His fingers dipped inside her knickers and she tried to close her legs against the intrusion, but he was insistent. He squeezed her breast, hard, and she yelped with pain at the uncharacteristic roughness of his touch.

The voices grew louder and a candlestick wobbled on the altar before falling to the stone floor with a loud clatter. The sudden noise seemed to jolt Ryan out of the strange stupor, for he relaxed his grip on Beth. It gave her the chance she needed and using her elbow, she jabbed him sharply in the ribs.

He grunted with pain and pulled away. Beth's ears hurt and her head began to pound. Something strange was happening in here and she was scared. There was a movement on the edge of her periphery, a dark shape, and she screamed. Turning towards the door, she ran blindly as the crescendo of voices reached unbearable levels.

Her hands were greasy with sweat and for a horrible moment she struggled to gain sufficient grip to be able to turn the metal handle, but eventually the door opened and she almost fell out into the warm shade of the copse, her pulse racing wildly as she sought to control her breathing.

The hideous noise faded as the sunlight filtered through the trees in dappled patterns of yellow, warming her clammy skin. It was only then that she realised Ryan was still inside the chapel.