tagHumor & SatireInside Blues Ch. 01

Inside Blues Ch. 01


It was four-thirty in the early hours of Sunday morning and I was driving drunk from a birthday party. I had come off a motorway and when I think back, I was speeding around the streets on my way home, I didn't realise, how fast I was going. I remember looking at my speed when I drove down a hill, I was doing over fifty. A fox ran onto the road and I floored the breaks. The car spun and mounted the kerb. I lost control of the car and it careered up a residential driveway and smashed into the front door of some poor fuckers house. I was knocked unconscious and when I woke there were blue lights flashing and two firemen cutting me out of my car. Later the policeman who arrested me told me the front end of the car crumpled and I was pinned into the car seat. I was well over the limit. I was disqualified from driving, a two thousand pound fine, which was mainly compensation for the "victims of my drunkenness and recklessness," said the judge, and then sent me to Pentonville prison for three months.

I had never been in prison before and I'm forty-five, what a time to start. I'm a Painter and Decorator by trade, I'm self-employed and my van is the life blood of my business, I've been disqualified for two years. I feel very depressed and down, fuck! What a stupid thing to do. I will do about twelve weeks with remission, Christ, plenty of time to think about it all.

I was transported to prison in one of them vans with the little blacked out windows. Inside I was handcuffed and put into a small cubicle, there was about twenty cubicles inside the van and they all held a prisoner. We arrived at the prison and we were all taken from the van to the reception area. They took off our restraints and told to wait behind the yellow line, which split the reception into two halves. We were processed: name, address, date of birth, nature of offence, sentence and earliest release date and given my prison number: D030025Willson.

I was told to strip and I stood naked with all the other new inmates, I felt vulnerable and very self-conscious, I covered my balls and cock with both hands. The guy standing next to me was a big man, hairy, he stood as if he was waiting for a bus, his cock hung six inches long and thick, balls the size of tangerines. I felt a bit undersized standing next to him. I looked around at the others, the all stood like they were waiting to buy ice cream, some chatted, or looked about them, I was the only one trying to be modest. A prison guard directed us to the showers and we all had a communal wash.

My own clothes and possessions were locked away in the reception area and I was given prison issue. We were giving bedding, sheets and a pillow case and led to the cell blocks. I was allocated to D-wing and put in cell number twenty-five, landing three. I walked into the cell, there was a guy lying on the bottom bunk reading a book. The cell door closed behind me and I stood and looked around.

The cell was small. A metal-framed bunk bed, toilet, sink, two lockers, small table and a chair and the guy reading, he introduced himself as Reg. I made up my bed and lay on it. The time was seven-thirty, evening time, and time for supper, so Reg told me. The cell doors were unlocked, and we made our way to the ground floor where we queued for hot chocolate and a large cookie with chocolate chips. We took our supper back to our cells and my cell door was locked again. We ate and drank in silence and I lay back down after I'd finished, I guess Reg went back to reading his book. About an hour later the plastic dishware was collected. Ten o'clock the lights went out.

Reg had not said a lot apart from his introduction and what time supper was. I guessed the lights had been off for over an hour and I wondered what time it was. I noticed earlier that Reg was wearing a watch, so I asked him the time. I heard him shuffle and sigh, "eleven-thirty," he said. He sighed again and explained if I had a watch in my property, I could make a request and fill out a form, it takes about two days. Okay, I said. Then he said, "Go to fucking sleep!"

More time passed, and I lay awake and stared at the dark ceiling, I was on the top bunk. I heard Reg shuffle and he got up from his bunk and used the toilet. The rattle of the piss hitting the water echoed about the cell, he shook his knob, put it away and zipped up. He looked at me and disappeared back on his bunk, I heard him shuffle about, then settle. I closed my eyes and thought of something nice. I turned on to my side and thought about the last time I had sex. It was at the party I drove from that got me into this fucking mess. Her name was Sue, she was a blonde, about thirty-five. We got chatting and danced a couple of times. The party started in a pub called the Coach and Horses, they had this eighties disco going on, it was great music. She was the sister of the guy whose party it was, and I was a friend of a friend, who needed transport to get a sound system to the pub. She asked me back to the after party back at her brothers and I said yes. Back at the house there was more great music, booze and food. I danced with her again in her brothers living room, he had a few flashing lights and all the furniture pulled back, it was cosy. We chatted some more, and she kissed me in the kitchen. Her brother walked in and she pulled apart and walked away. "What's your name mate?" He asked me.

"Simon," I said.

"Well keep your fucking hands of my sister," he said and walked off.

The night went into the small hours and more people turned up. I was drunk by now and I sat and enjoyed the music. I was thinking about leaving, I was going to call a taxi and get my car tomorrow. I was in Uxbridge, I could tube it there tomorrow morning. I went to sue and asked her if she knew any taxi numbers. "Are you going," she asked me. A Culture Club song filled the room, "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me." Sue pulled me toward the middle of the room and asked to dance first. It was a slow dance and we held each other close, she kissed me again and started feeling my bulge. I instantly went hard. Sue laughed. I felt a bit shy. She started rubbing my hard on then slipped her hand down the front of my jeans. I felt her fingers touch the head of my cock and felt a lump in my shaft, I felt if I was going to cum. I glanced over her shoulder and saw her brother coming down the stairs and I pulled her hand out of my jeans and told her brother was behind us, she pulled away and said meet you upstairs.

I followed her up the stairs and into the toilet, she locked the door. "This isn't a good idea," I said to her. She was on me and loosed of my belt and unbuttoned my 501's. Everything was down to my knees, and she was on hers. My cock was in her hand and it disappeared into her mouth. She pumped it with her lips, I watched my shaft sliding in and out of her mouth. I tried to hold back, but I was cuming, I was so excited. I had to pull her off me. I stood her up and started kissing her. I cum on her dress, but she didn't know. I pushed my tongue into her mouth and I pressed my lips harder against hers, I felt all orgasmic and excited, a shiver tingled up my spine. Sue pulled away and said, "take it easy," and handed me a condom and said, "put that on." I ripped the packet open and slid it on, my cock was slick with cum and was starting to lose interest. I wanked it a few times.

Sue took of her panties and lifted up her dress and bent over the toilet. She had a lovely shaped arse, rounded and smooth. I could see her open arse hole, clit and fanny lips and I played with them. I went down on her and licked her clit, I softly chewed her clit lips like sexual bubble gum. I pushed my thumb into her arse button, she jerked and moaned. She moaned softly then louder and louder, "quietly," I said. She ignored me. I felt her squirt in my mouth, she was having an orgasm. I stood and looked at my cock, it was erect again. I felt a lovely shiver go through me as I entered her, like I'd just entered a tunnel of warm wet velvet. I gripped her thighs and pulled her toward me. I thrust up her and bucked fast and slow, fast, slow, fast, slow. Sue thrust her lovely arse back and forth, back and forth, she was whimpering and moaning in sexual tones. We slapped against each other rhythmically and she felt wet. She gripped the toilet system and pulled it, "I'm cuming, said Sue." I spunked again, it was like electric. I thrust forward as I exploded into the condom. I pushed Sue forward and she hit her head on the wall, she said, "ouch!" And laughed. She pushed me away from her and put on her panties and smoothed out her dress. She looked at me and smiled, then slowly opened the toilet door and ducked out. I looked at myself in the mirror. My jeans down to my ankles and a condom hanging from my semi hard cock, the tip of the condom filled with spunk.

I got myself together and went down stairs. The music seemed louder and there were people everywhere. I got myself a drink, I felt relaxed and satisfied. I looked around for sue but could not see her. The guy whose sound system I transported over came over to me and said, "Sam's looking for you. You'd better go before he sees you. He's not happy about something."

"Who the hells Sam?" I asked.

"Sue's brother," he replied. I looked at him, put my glass down, left the house and drove away in my car.

I heard Reg shuffle in his bunk and brought me out of my thoughts. I had a hard on, and I slipped my hand into my prison issue Y-fronts and gripped it tight. I wanted to wank, I wanted to wank and cum. I felt a need to feel that kind of relaxation one has after a good wank, a stress-buster. I let it go and tried to sleep.

Next morning, at seven o'clock it was wash time, the cell doors were left open and inmates washed and shaved. Some stood on the landing chatting. I stayed in my cell, I had no washing kit. Reg told me if I had money in my property, I could make an application and transfer some of it to the prison shop credit scheme, then I could buy toothpaste, shampoo, and other stuff. He told me it would take two days. But there was a new inmate loan of three pound and I could go to the prison shop after exercise at eleven o'clock and buy a few essentials. At eight o'clock it was breakfast. I followed the other inmates to the ground floor and into the dining hall. I took a tray, waited in line and I was served the classic prison breakfast. A boiled egg, two rashes of crispy bacon, porridge, two slices of toast and tea. I sat on the first seat I could find and ate. After breakfast we all went back to our cells and locked up.

Reg lay on his bunk and me on mine. He began chatting asking me about my life: If I was married. Any children, just basic stuff. I asked him about the prison routine and he told me the cell doors are open from seven until after breakfast. We had Association from eleven till twelve thirty. In this time, we could move about the prison wing freely, use the showers and buy stuff from the prison shop. The television was switched on and the game cupboard unlocked, pool cues and balls left on the two pool tables. The cell doors were locked up at twelve thirty. Lunch time was at two o'clock. We could move about the wing freely till three o'clock then it was bang up till Tea time at five thirty and Association till seven. The evenings were the longest. Cells were open again at eight thirty for twenty minutes to get supper and that was it till seven in the morning.

My first and second weeks dragged and I got into the routine. I got some money transferred to my prison shop account, I never paid off my loan, I kept the payment plan. Three pounds isn't a lot of money in the free world, but in here it is. I made an application to wear a watch. I had no watch in my property, so I had to make another application to have one brought in. I phoned my mum during association and asked her to buy me a cheap watch from Argos. My mum didn't want to come to the prison, she was seventy-five and her legs hurt. I sent a friend a letter with a visiting order and he came to visit me and brought the watch. He gave it to the guard and had to fill out a form, saying who it was for, cell number and wing, it went into my property. It was good to see a friendly face, we had coffee and chatted as if we were in Starbucks. The hour passed quick. We said our good byes and he told me to watch my arse, and next visit, if I wanted him to, he could bring in a jar of slippery gel. I laughed and headed back to my cell with the other inmates. I had to make another application to get my watch out of my property, it would take two days.

During afternoon associations I'd usually take my shower. I took my towel, wash bag, but didn't really like showering, it was so open. I found that if I went toward the end of association there wouldn't be as many naked cons hanging about, although there was always a few in there. I stripped off my clothes in the drying room and wrapped my towel around me and walked into the wet room. I took off my towel and hung it on one of the many hooks on the wall. I stood under the last shower head, next to the return of the wall, I felt safer knowing I was vulnerable from only one side and turned on the shower. I squeezed out a large handful of shower gel and lathered myself up. I washed from my head down. I didn't like touching my cock and balls when I was showering because I started to get semi-hard when I washed them. And when I washed my arsehole, I had some issues about that too. For years I'd suffered piles and they itch like crazy when I would wash out my arse. I would give them a good scratch when I showered privately, in the free world, and my finger would poke through my brown knot and I'd poke around inside and itch, my arsehole always felt itchy because of the piles. It made my cock go hard with the relief of scratching the itch, it felt almost sexual and I'd always end up wanking.

Prison was an open world with not much privacy. I've seen guys in the showers with semi's and full hard on. Last week there was a guy with a full erection and another con went up to him, took him by the cock and led him away into the drying room and into the toilet cubicle. Other cons would give a whistle and laugh.

I quickly washed my cock and bollocks and my cock grew a little. I looked about, there were two guys showering at the far end of the wet room, they took no interest in me, it was about as private as it would be for now. I gelled up my hand and washed my arse. It needed it. I washed and scratched, and poked at my brown not, it felt good. My cock was going hard and I really did want to take it and wank there and then. I even had a mini fantasy of being sucked off by my neighbour three doors down from me in the real world, that made my cock worse and my pommel was at full helmet and veins were popping. I rinsed off and wrapped the towel around me. I hid my hard on the best I could and went into the drying room and into one of the toilet cubicles. The doors were only half size, if you sat on the toilet you could still see a head. The drying room was empty, but I could still be seen from the open wing, there was no door on the shower room entrance, folk milled about outside, and I could see them walk past. I undone my towel and sat on the toilet. My cock stood erect. I imagined my neighbour again, three doors down in the free world, her name was Shirley. I imagined she knocked at my door to borrow a cup of sugar, and some how she ended up in my living room with a smile on her face, topless. I wanked like crazy, faster, faster. Shirly, I whispered. My pommel went dry and I spat on it and rubbed it in and imagined it was Shirly's wet mouth. I cum in my hand and wished for Shirley. My private bubble burst when two inmates walked into the drying room. I stood and wrapped the towel around me, wiped my hand and sat back down on the toilet.

The two cons started getting undressed. One was a tall black guy, slim with good body tone, he looked about thirty. The other guy looked younger about twenty-three. His skin was an olive tone, he had a jet-black crew cut. His chest looked feminine, like he had a small pair of tits. His nipples stood out and were dark brown, if I didn't know better, I would have mistaken him for a lady. They both dropped their trousers and Y-fronts together and walked into the wet room. I got dressed and looked in on them on my way out. The two cons were washing, and the black guy said to the other, "Come on Gloria, wash my back." I went back to my cell and lay on my bunk.

Another few days dragged by, I've been in here three weeks. I kept myself to myself. I stayed in my cell during association, except to eat, exercise, shower and visit the prison shop. I got books from the library to read. Reg turned out to be quite sociable, and we chatted during the long evenings. One evening Reg asked me if I wanked at night, I said, "No,"

"come on," he replied. "Everybody does, don't they? Well in here anyway. You saying you've never had a hard on since you been in here?"

"of course," I said.

"So, what'd you do, just look at it." You didn't play with it, have a little yank, that turned into a wank," he laughed.

"Yes. I've had a wank." I pictured myself wanking in the drying room toilet but said nothing about that. "But I done it quietly."

"Are You a silent wanker?" He laughed and said, "only messing with you mate." I didn't answer and picked up my book to read and lay down in my bunk. Reg stayed seated on the wooden chair next to his locker, he was silent for a while, then stood and took a piss and sat back down. "You want to here a story Si? It's a good one." I kept reading and ignored him. "Come on Si, I was joking about the wanking bit." I put the book down and said, "come on then, lets hear it."

"When I was younger, when I was twenty. I'm thirty-five now, yeah, about fifteen years ago. I was out with a mate. We were out having a laugh, trying to pull. We got chatting to a couple of birds and I thought game on. But they up't and fucked off in a taxi. What the fuck, I said to my mate, they've done a runner. Last orders came, and my mate said he couldn't afford a club tonight. I said I can't go on my own. We ended up getting a bottle of Jack D and went back to his." Reg stopped talking, then said, "I'm not much of a story teller."

"No," I said. "It sounds okay to me. You were out with a mate and the birds fucked off, so you both got a bottle of Jack D."

"Well, to cut a long one short. We went back to my mate's mum's, he still lived there, with her and his sis. His sis was fit looking, about twenty-five. His mum was about sixty, she looked quite fit too, well, for her age. We sat about and drank the Jack D. His sis put music on, but it was shit, and the company was shit, I was bored and said I was shooting off, it was about two in the morning. His mum insisted I stay, and my mate shoved me in the spare bedroom and I crashed." Reg stood and had a drink of water, sat and continued. "I woke in the night and wondered were the hell I was, then remembered. It was dark, and I had a hard on and felt horny. I thought abought them birds we were chatting to and thought fuck it and started to wank, it felt good, but thought this could have been so much more." I nodded. "But then I heard the fucking door open, but couldn't see, it was so dark. I've been caught wanking I thought, and closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep, it was just automatic. I listened and heard a shuffling noise and felt the duvet move, What the fuck I thought. I felt something touch my hard cock and I flinched and froze. I felt a hand take my cock and heard a little sigh, then I was being wanked. I couldn't believe it. I just lay there. It was fucking great. Whoever it was didn't have a tight grip. But they wanked like fuck. I cum, like fuck, all over the fucking place. It was such a fucking turn on. Whoever it was fucked off and closed the door with their hand covered in spunk. I left early the next morning before anyone woke and said nothing about it to my mate,"

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