Inside Me

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Her experiences and fantasies described to her lover.
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September 15, 2009

Darling,

For the longest time I have been meaning to write to you, but because both of our schedules have been crazy busy these last few days, I finally was able to put aside some free time to write down my desires and fantasies to you in this letter. I want very much to tell you about my sexual experiences, how I've discovered and explored my sexuality over the years, and about what I would love to do with you next time we meet.

My first thoughts of sex came to me when I was very young, without completely understanding my feelings. My mom had given me "the talk" early on in my childhood, but no matter how much your parents mean well and try to make you understand about sex, it just isn't the same thing as what you feel when you're actually horny.

I remember the very first time I had an orgasm. I was sitting all alone outside in the backyard on a chaise lounge. The summer sun felt so good against my skin. I was holding one of my stuffed animals and I placed it between my legs, rocking back and forth against it. It felt so good to hold something soft against my body, and I could feel this pulsing sensation between my legs. I didn't know what it was, but it made me feel so good. When I finally came, it was like this beautiful release that consumed my whole body and soul. From that point on, I wanted to experience that feeling again and again.

Later on, I learned how to masturbate and make myself cum in order to give myself greater pleasure. It was around that time I discovered porn, specifically in the form of my dad's Playboy magazines that I found hidden in the closet. I was fascinated by these beautiful, gorgeous centerfolds with their lovely, luscious bodies, posing nude against glamorous backdrops for all the world to see. I wanted so much to be like those women -- bold, sensual, unafraid, uninhibited, sexy, and stylish. I hoped one day someone would gaze at my picture and get off thinking about what naughty things they wanted to do to me.

Shortly after that, I watched porn movies, or rather, listened to them on the Spice channel. My mom used to work as a housekeeper and nanny for a single mother who had two young daughters. I would be left alone for a while in their house while Mom went to go pick them up from school. While channel surfing one day, I happened to listen to this woman moaning, almost as if she was in pain. I quickly realized those were not the sounds of pain, but pleasure. I had never heard anyone having sex before and it excited me. Because the channel wasn't descrambled, I couldn't really see anything. Once in a while, the image would be somewhat clear for a few seconds, but then it would go back to being distorted.

I listened to the way these women talked to their lovers, and how the men would respond, so I learned how to talk dirty to a man. I remember vividly in one film, the woman asked her lover to lick her like ice cream. I thought that was so erotic. I can imagine myself with you now, lying in bed, all sticky and sweet, having you lick ice cream off my body.

Another time there was a clip of a woman in a chair masturbating while a voiceover of an British lady described how she seduced another woman and what they did to each other, sucking each other's nipples and licking each other's pussies to get each other off. As she spoke, she became more and more aroused until she started moaning, like she was actually having an orgasm. It was beyond hot.

Too bad the Spice channel isn't the same anymore. Back in the day, it was blazing white hot. I can't even begin to tell you how it used to be. I wished you and I could have seen those porn movies and acted the scenes out. After I watched them, I would lay on the couch or on the bathroom floor, reached down inside my jeans, and felt how wet my pussy was. I would move back and forth and feel myself cumming, the juices dripping out onto my fingers. I got off knowing that I was doing these naughty things to myself in someone else's house without their knowledge. I did this for a while until they decided to move to a new house, and no, they didn't have the Spice channel there. Bummer.

I had so much fun with myself, I only wished you were there to see. One time when I was staying with a friend, I went inside the bathroom, turned on the night light, and took a bath. When I emerged from the bathtub, my body all dripping wet, I stood in front of the mirror, watching myself play with my tits and my clit until I came.

Another time when I was laying in bed, I used a roll-on bottle of deodorant and teased my tits and my pussy with it until I got off. I had to improvise in those days since I had no idea what a vibrator was and I was saving my virginity for someone special, so I had no man to please me. It was important that I learned to please myself first because it made me a better lover. One day I'll tell you how I lost my virginity, since I want to devote the latter part of the letter to the future, and not the past.

Sometimes I have fantasies about being a stripper, or rather, an old-time burlesque dancer, when striptease was an art form instead of how it is now, where the girls are pretty much topless or naked once they come on stage. I like to peel off my clothes, slowly, one article at a time, while moving to the rhythm of a sexy song, or sometimes with no music at all. Maybe I'll do that next time we're together. Maybe I'll perform a little striptease dance for you. I hope you will enjoy that and it makes you so excited that you want to please yourself right now.

I also enjoyed watching softcore porn like Red Shoe Diaries. There was one episode where an artist and his model make love in his studio covered in paint. I love to get messy and dirty sometimes while having sex. I want to be covered in all kinds of things: liquor, honey, whipped cream, massage oil, paint, whatever makes me feel literally and figuratively dirty. Maybe you and I could do this sometime, just smear ourselves in paint. Of course, washing it off would be the hard part. I don't relish the idea of bathing in turpentine. Maybe it could be a special kind of paint that we can wash off easily. Cleaning each other up after the mess is also part of the fun. We'll figure it out somehow.

Later on I graduated to actually watching hardcore porn. What kind of hardcore porn do I like to watch? Nothing too crazy, even though I've seen my fair share of porn, believe me. I have seen it all, but I don't like when they're already fucking within the first minute. I like a build-up, a sexual tension, before I watch people have sex. I enjoy watching features that cater to women or couples that look like a mainstream Hollywood film.

That's why I think old school porn was the best. At least they made the attempt to have a plotline even though a lot of those porn actors and actresses couldn't act to save their lives and the dialogue was hokey and dated, along with the hairstyles and fashions, but those were the days when people really knew how to fuck on camera, and it wasn't too exaggerated, like these extreme anal porn films where the girl's asshole is gaping wide open. It's really disgusting. I'm not a fan of anal porn, period. Movies like that sap the eroticism and joy out of the whole sexual experience. It becomes boring after a while to see people consistently banging the hell out of each other for fifteen or twenty minutes. It makes me want to go make a sandwich instead.

Sometimes I prefer soft porn more than hard because there's more foreplay, soft lighting, gorgeous sets, sexy music, and better-looking actors and actresses, even though everything is simulated. Other times I enjoy watching girl/girl porn because women take their time and are softer and more sensual in their approach than men; they are more nurturing and giving. I have fantasized before about experimenting with another woman, in a threesome scenario, with you. I don't consider myself bisexual at all, but I have this fantasy from time to time.

If you and I were going to invite another woman to join us, I imagine making love to a thin, willowy blonde, someone who's my opposite physically since I'm a brunette and my body is curvy. She would be kind, sweet, gentle, and innocent in nature. I would want her to be docile and passive since I would be the aggressor when pleasuring her. You and I would teach her how to be bad and dirty. We would corrupt her and make her wild side come out once we got her to do what we wanted. She would be our sex slave for the evening and she would do whatever we wished to make us happy. I would have a vibrator with me to make her cum as many times as I could, then she would do the same to me.

Of course, I don't want to be entirely selfish. It would be about making her feel good too. You would watch us fuck first, then you'd take turns fucking both of us. But there would be a sense of fun and lightheartedness about what we did, because we'd all be friends and just making each other feel good. I wouldn't want it to be like the gonzo porn movies where there's a residue of filth, disgust, and coldness about what they did. I'd want it to be pleasurable and enjoyable for all of us, especially for you, since I would make your fantasy come to life.

Personally, I would prefer if another man came to join us instead of another woman, especially an older man. I've always had a fetish for older men. In fact, all of my sexual partners have been considerably older than me, so for a long time I had a Lolita complex. I remember one of them took a rose and teased my body with it, running the petals along my nipples, then down my stomach, until it reached my clit. The wetness of my pussy stained the petals like dewdrops from a soft rainfall. I remember having a powerful orgasm from that experience. Maybe you could bring me a rose like you did last time. I can imagine all the sexy things we could do with it.

In this scenario, it would be my greatest desire to dominate two men and have them do whatever I say. They would give me as much foreplay as I wanted and I wouldn't let them fuck me until I was ready. I would start with you first and make him watch us. We would take our time kissing, then undressing, and doing all the things we would normally do if we were alone. I want to make him wait as long as he could stand it, then ask him to join in. Then you would have to sit back and watch us until I was ready for you both to satisfy me.

After having you both kiss me, you'd each go down on me. I would spread my soaking wet pussy wide open like a juicy piece of fruit for both your pleasure. I'd want to sit on his face while you licked and sucked my tits, then you would switch places with him. After we did that for a while, I would give each of you a blowjob until the main event. Each of you would take turns fucking me in all kinds of different positions, then I would want to experience double-penetration, with you in my pussy, and him in my ass, or vice versa.

After all of us have cum and we've exhausted ourselves, we would sit around and talk, have some wine to drink, and just enjoy the afterglow of the amazing carnal experience we all shared. It would be the same feeling in the scenario with another woman. We're all friends and we'd have fun treating each other with the gift of pleasure. I trust you enough to know you would find the right man or woman to experience these special moments with us.

With that being said, that brings me back to the final point of this letter -- all the trouble I want to get into with you when you get your cute little ass back here. I almost don't think we need a third person because we have plenty of fun on our own, just the two of us. I can't forget our last encounter when we made love for the first time and how we shared plenty of uplifting moments. I've never been with someone young before. It was one of the most amazing sexual experiences I've ever had. I still think about how you pleased and satisfied me completely, how you seemed to know what I wanted in order to fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked.

It's so easy to share my fantasies with you and to come up with different fun things for us to do. I just want to do so many bad things to you, but you're such an open, warm, adventurous, and passionate man. There's something wholesome about you that makes everything we've done seem natural, innocent, and pure, as strange as it may sound. I don't feel ashamed about anything I've done with you at all.

I also think about how fun it was to please you, how I gave you a blowjob, and the noises you made when you expressed your delight and ecstasy, how you let me know I was doing it the way you liked it. I enjoyed hearing your deep, sexy voice as you talked dirty to me. I remember how much noise we made when we came together and how we joked that we were inspiring the people in the other suites next to ours to have fun if they happened to hear us. I loved getting on top of you. That was the best position for us because it just felt so damn good. For some reason, with you that position was better than with any other lover I've been with.

Next time I want to do all those things that made us happy, and more. I hope that after we go out to dinner, we could find a secluded alleyway somewhere, so I can give you a blowjob in the darkness of the city streets. Then you will hike my dress up, pull my panties down, and fuck me up against the wall.

Back in our hotel room, we'll get a bottle of wine or champagne. While I'm laying in bed, you'll blindfold me, tie my hands together, pour the liquor all over my body, and lick it off. There will be a candle nearby on the nightstand. You'll pour the wax all over my breasts, then take an ice cube from the ice bucket and tease my nipples with that, alternating between hot and cold.

Then we'll make love and take a shower afterwards, which we didn't get to do last time we were together, unfortunately, because our time was limited. I don't want to plan out too much before we meet because it will seem premeditated, but I just want to give you an idea of what I think we'd both enjoy to help each other reach the heights of ecstasy like we did before. You and I are pretty adept at making things up as we go along in our sexy, erotic world, and I'm sure we will continue to do so for as long as we wish.

Until I see you again, I hope you are happy and well.

XXXOOO,

LL

  • COMMENTS
1 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago

Very nice.Liked the slow straight line build up.Thanks

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