Intense Love Ch. 04

For the next week I didn't see Cullach. For seven days I have been dodging the curious questions from my parents about my supposed fiancé.

I'll admit right up front Cullach scares me. He has this barely contained passion that borders on violence simmering just beneath the surface. I go to sleep each night only to dream of his eyes. Those piercing green eyes that bore into me looking at my very soul as he rapes me.

Jenny came out of the hospital the day after Cullach left me alone in my bed. She was ok but when she talked about what happened to her she began to shake uncontrollably. I would hug her really tight as she would cry.

This is what Cullach did, I thought.

Jenny began to carry a can of mace with her wherever she went. I never told her what happened to me or what I knew about her "accident". There was no point, Cullach had said so himself he would just destroy whatever came across his desk that could incriminate him.

For seven days I have walked like a somnambulist. I feel like I'm dead walking around in this hazy blurry world feeling nothing, seeing nothing. I can't sleep at night and when I do out of sheer exhaustion I dream of him. I stay awake staring into the darkness waiting, hoping that Cullach will be there to come through my window.

Cullach. Cullach, my rapist. My enemy. He made me tell him I loved him. Was it a lie? Why was nothing ever purely black or purely white with us?

With Cullach it was always shades of gray.

God, I'm so fucking confused.

On the eighth day I decided to do something drastic. I had to know if Cullach had spoken the truth when he said he was a cop. I was shaking as I drove to the police station. I parked my car staying inside it for a moment with my head on the steering wheel. What the hell was I doing? So what if Cullach told me the truth, it didn't change anything. I still couldn't do anything to punish him for raping me. The damnable question was, would I even want to punish him if I could? Wouldn't someone be there to point at me saying that it wasn't rape if you liked it?

Slowly I got out of the car smoothing my skirt as I walked into the station. I had left my hair down and loose too nervous to do anything with it.

It's ok, I told myself, Cullach lied to you. That's probably not even his name just find out for sure and then you can stop obsessing. You can finally stop being so confused.

I walked over to a fat policeman who sat behind a desk. "Excuse me." I said trying to control my trembling before he thought I was a crack addict.

The man looked up at me with mean bulldog eyes taking in my black skirt and white cardigan. "Can I help you, miss?" He drolled.

I took a deep breath this was the moment of truth. "I am looking for an officer de Cairn."

The fat fuck was silent for so long I thought I would have to find someone else to help me. But then he spoke after giving me a hard stare. "Who should I say is asking?"

"Rain." I choked out.

"Take a seat, miss. He'll be right out." He indicated a row of chairs situated along the wall of the precint. I took a seat in a far corner trying hard to disappear.

My mind did not think beyond finding out if Cullach really was a cop. What the fuck would I say to him now? Hi, I'm your helpless victim and back for more? Never mind that the last time I barely struggled. Shit!

I kept my eyes studiously on the ground.

In less than half a minute I saw a pair of scuffed black boots in my line of vision. Slowly I let my eyes trail up to see a pair of worn black jeans clinging to well muscled legs. Up further to his silver belt buckle and further still to his hard lean waistline and broad shoulders encased in a white T-shirt. My eyes flew up then to his face. Cullach's green eyes registered surprise as he looked down on me. Before he or I could say or do anything I got up and ran out of the building. I had my keys in my hand and was slamming the key in the lock when I felt hard, warm, steel arms wrap about me stilling my movements. Oh god, I knew I shouldn't have come here. I should have let well enough alone and thanked my lucky stars that Cullach hadn't come back.

"Rain," he whispered kissing my neck the hot wet caress making my knees tremble. He turned me about then to face him. "I dreamed you would come to me freely." His eyes were intense boring into mine showing me all the fire he kept inside. Unbidden came the memories of the last time we were together. Of how he had looked deep into my eyes, how I had touched him.

"I need to go. Let me go, Cullach." It was broad daylight now there was no way he could do anything but let me go. Right?

For an answer he pressed himself closer into me letting me feel the hot hardness of his body melding into the coldness of my own. I was wedged between the car and Cullach there was no way out to any passerby we just looked to be an especially amorous couple. "I'll never let you go, Rain."

Irrational anger built up inside me. Come on he was my rapist for christsake. He didn't abandon me. So why did it feel that way to me?

Maybe because he had been so convincing each time he had said he would never leave.

But then he did.

"Bullshit, Cullach."

Cullach smiled looking even more handsome than ever. "Are you pissed off that I haven't been around, Rain? Have you missed me?" He kissed me then.

God yes, you bastard, I shouted in my head. Yes I missed you, your kisses that drugged me and the feel of your cock deep inside me. Yes, god I would do anything for you. To have you once again where no man had ever been. Instead of the words I clutched him closer melting into him my hands encircling his neck. When we parted our eyes blazed a silent war of wills. Cullach to draw me in and I just trying to make sense of all that I had experienced with Cullach.

I kissed him then. For the first time I initiated the kiss. It was slow and sweet Cullach let me explore the contours of his lips. When my tongue tentatively reached out he met me in a deeper kiss.

His hand went into my hair. He fisted it grabbing a hold of the dark strands he pulled my head back. "I love you, Rain." I could only look up at him caught between fear and desire.

I knew then why I had been obsessing over Cullach for the past seven days. It was so simple.

I loved him.

Cullach's obsession had to be contagious.

He released my hair stepping away from me still reeling from my kiss. I took extreme pleasure in that little fact.

"Come home with me, Rain." Such a simple request. He held out his hand to me. "You choose now." He bit into his tender lower lip as if coming to a hard decision. "If you don't...I won't do anything, Rain. I give you my word, no more threats, no more demands."

I looked down at his hand so hard and callused. The hand that had slapped me. I licked the corner of my mouth where he had made me bleed remembering the pain and fear of that night. Cullach's eyes followed my tongue he knew what I was thinking about and he dropped his hand.

"I guess I was hoping for too much. I thought maybe someday you could forgive me and love me but you'll always see me as your rapist. The one who hurt you. I thought because you came here that..." He stopped and looked at me with those tortured green eyes and then he turned away abruptly.

I let him walk away.

It's over, I whispered the words to myself alone in my bedroom staring out my open window, wrapped in a blanket, sitting in my old rocking chair that I had picked up at a garage sale. Usually the soothing motion of the rocker helped to ease my mind and fears but not tonight.

I had sat where I was since I had drove back home after letting Cullach walk away. It was midnight now and I sat in the darkness unable to eat, sleep or even think about anything except Cullach. I should be happy, I knew I should be. It was over I could start my life over again forget the two nights when Cullach raped me. I could marry another man who would be sweet and kind. I could fuck him and forget how Cullach felt deep inside me, the taste and scent of his skin. One memory to obliterate another.

Cullach. I love you, Rain. His words repeated themselves in my mind like a broken record unceasing, unrelenting, driving me mad.

I stood then crawling into my bed pulling the blankets up to my chin feeling hot tears pour down my cheeks as oblivion came.

I sat up in bed suddenly looking about my room. The shadows were thick and black I couldn't see anything but something had awakened me. My heart beat fast surging the adrenaline through my bloodstream. Then I saw this shadow approach me coming closer and closer to finally take on the shape of a man.

"I'm dreaming." I whispered.

"No, you're not, Rain." A silky sensuous voice answered me.

My breath came in shaky gasps. "Cullach,"

He came a step closer. I could make out his face in the light of the dim streetlights that came through my window. He looked at me for a long moment. "I promised myself this would be the last time."

I stood up on my knees in the bed reaching out for him. "Thank god you came." He came into my arms I held him tightly about the waist.

There were tears in my eyes when I looked up at him standing hard and remote not letting himself believe that I could be doing this. "I love you, Cullach." At my words all confusion and doubt left me.

His eyes widened as he took in my words. Suddenly his arms went underneath mine to pull me up flush against him my arms wrapped about his neck his arms crushing me so that I couldn't breathe. He pulled away slightly. "I'm in love with you." I whispered so that he could never doubt me.

He kissed me as hot searing fire flowed down my body. I moved away grasping Cullach's shirt pulling it over his head letting my hands trail down the smooth velvet skin of his chest and chiseled abs. I was desperate to feel him again to have him fill me once again. I started to undo his belt buckle as his hands went underneath my nightshirt to stroke my back. He stepped out of his jeans and boxers gloriously naked and laid bare to my eyes. "God, you're beautiful." I whispered.

"You're the one who's beautiful." He rasped pulling my shirt over my head gently he began to lay me down on the bed following me. Cullach kissed me again then his mouth went to my breast sucking my nipple. I arched up crying out burying my hands in his black hair. He released me placing kisses on my stomach going down farther until I felt his breath on my cunt. He kissed the tender flesh of my inner thigh before he began to devour my aching cunt. He tortured my clit with light butterfly strokes driving me crazy.

"Please, Cullach," I moaned needing him. He came up over me then his hands finding mine grasping them intertwining our fingers. I felt his long hard cock gently push inside me. It felt different from the other times, now I could feel the entire length of Cullach sinking deeper and deeper into me, filling me. He paused for a second doubt in his eyes as I realized that he was afraid that I would think this time was rape too.

"You know I love you. Only you, Cullach. I want you." I could swear that in the darkness I saw tears gather in Cullach's eyes at my words.

He buried his face in my neck. I hugged him tightly to me.

He began to move slowly then, each stroke a mixture of strength and gentility that I would never have thought Cullach to be capable of. I had wondered when he said for me to imagine how it would be between us if only I truly loved him.

Now I knew. This was my every dream and fantasy come true.

He kissed my lips then I clutched him closer moving underneath him wanting, desperate for more. For as much as I loved the slow sweetness of Cullach I craved the hard deep strokes that filled the innermost recesses of me. I bit his shoulder. "Love me, Cullach."

He looked into my eyes. I could feel the gathering tension in his body as he began to move harder his hips slamming into my clit making me jump and shake in ecstasy. I threw my head back moaning in a sexy way. In another second Cullach was inside me hard and fast his thickness stretching and caressing my cunt. He was everything I had ever wanted all that I had ever, would ever know.

"I love you so much, Rain." His breath on my neck as his words reached my ear. "So much." At his words I came. But the hard demanding strokes didn't stop until I came again in his arms and when Cullach came inside me I couldn't remember the fear of the previous times.

He lay with his head on my chest my fingers in his hair, he was still hard inside me. He moved to look into my eyes. "Marry me, Rain. Come home with me." That lost little boy look in his green eyes.

His words were both a new beginning and a second chance.

"Yes." That was the only word I needed. The only word I would ever use with Cullach.

I left my parents' house that night gathering what was important to me. I have never looked back since.

I'm home now.

Yes, Cullach was, and I guess still is, my rapist but he is also so much more than that. He is my savior, my lover, my husband. I have never regretted a moment of our life together.