Intimate Blackout

But from that moment onward, our dynamic changed.

That night, with Jill and Carl in Vegas and the nanny and kids in bed, I sat with Jack in his bedroom watching some old Hitchcock black and white movie on a huge wall mounted flat panel. There were heaps of birds sitting about and it was pretty creepy, so I just sat and watched Jack, smiling occasionally when he glanced nervously between me and the cell phone. I think the phone was the cause of the anxiety, not the birds, because he looked at it like one might eye a hissing cobra.

"Your beautiful wife will be ringing soon; to tell you she's having a great time with her lover. Does that excite you Jack?" I tried to sound cool, but I think I was as excited as he was! I was fizzing like a lit skyrocket seeking flight. He grimaced and glanced up quickly then away just as quickly. I could see the pain, stirred with the vibrancy of life. "Just think that at this very moment they are likely making sweet love in some smoky motel room, whispering into each other's ears, crying out their pleasure..." I couldn't help giggling when Jack groaned, shifting about in his seat like he had worms. "But you love it, don't you Jack?" I leaned over and unzipped his fly. Oh yeah, the man who was supposedly paralyzed from the waist down loved it all right! "She's kissing him down here Jack; she's taking him in, loving him and worshiping him." I sucked in a gut-full of courage and demonstrated what may be happening in that faraway city of sin. I leaned in and worshiped my Knight's Excalibur just as his wife was likely worshiping her lover's. Jack didn't renege, he didn't push me away and nor did he protest. I was his care person, and care came in many forms!

The phone rang just then, startling us both, but when I checked out his dreamy countenance I smiled and continued on with my frantic application.

"Hi honey." He grunted a little breathlessly. "How's your night?" I could only make out one side of the conversation but I quickly got the drift. "So, you're in bed?" A pause ensued. "Oh, so you like that?" Jack's body was shaking now. "Wow, four times already... Isn't he exhausted?" I could hear Jill's laugh before she said something else. Jack started to pulse. "Oh my god... doesn't that hurt?" I detected another laugh and Jack groaned deeply and for the first time in six years Jack functioned as a man.

His capitulation in release was awesome!

I shrieked with delight as the phone clattered noisily across the floor. Yes, it would be fair to say things had changed. I could hear the distressed voice of Jill calling 'Jack, Jack'!

Picking up the phone I simply said 'Hi Mrs Stevens, Jack just fell of his chair, he'll call yo all right back'. I giggled and hung up!

****

CHAPTER 7.

JACK.

Memory is a fickle thing. My Angel was an aspiration, an inspiration, and life suddenly seemed golden. All of these feelings, swirled with a mix of bewilderment, swam about my confused and yet delighted mind. I was functional again 'down there' and my Angel, along with my ever loving wife imparting her cruel and erotic playfulness upon me had fixed the once suspected irreversibly broken connection between the neurons in my big head and brain in the smaller one. I wanted to shout for joy!

It was the Saturday after the big night. Carl and Jill were still in Vegas and I was alive with new life! I'd awoken early and was just lying there, trying to place the jigsaw pieces of my forgotten past and waiting for my angel to help me out of bed. I was reliving the event of last night, realizing that Kathy had played to my sick fantasy; had taken my manhood in hand and demanded its functionality. I should have been shocked, but I was delighted!

I may have mentioned it, but I just want to reiterate just how beautiful Kathy is. Okay, so she is not in Jill's league when it comes to outward female perfection, but how do you compare a gazelle to a koala? What is perfection? Kathy loved me... I'm not so stupid as to not recognize that! She watches me constantly, her big brown eyes seep warmth and adoration. It's like she sees some god in me that requires worshiping. I'm nothing when it comes to being a man. I'm not only broken, I'm also not much to look at. I'm certainly no Carl, and absolutely nothing special in anyway shape or form, but my wife Jill recognized something in me more than just my money, because there was no doubting she loved me, despite her relationship with my best friend and them conceiving two beautiful children together. I mean what else was she going to do, with me in a coma and all? Yes, it hurt like hell, but I was also happy for her, that she'd found someone to love and care for her. And who better than someone I knew and trusted.

So back to my shadow... my angel Kathy. How did we fit? The quiet knock on the door was simply a formality, because verbal acquiesce to enter was not required. The smiling dark chocolate brown face smiled broadly as she entered.

"Hello and good morning Mr Stevens. I hope you slept well?" There was a mischievous smile implanted in those enthralling eyes. The dark perfection wrapped in a white apron glided about the room, fiddling unnecessarily and picking up a fallen pillow, shuffling apart thick curtains before pouring a glass of ice cold water. My wheel chair appeared from nowhere and the bed cover was thrown back... all before I could adversely react to her intoxicating presence.

"Hmm... looks like my naughty boy's been thinking about that wayward wife of his!" She smiled. I looked down at the source of her observation, and then tried that big puppy dog innocent eyed thing that never seems to work. Kathy burst into mirth. "Oh no you don't! You can't fool me." She grabbed the embarrassing appendage and smacked at it, like it was a naughty little boy!

"Hey..." But I was too gutless to tell this amazing creature that in fact the cause of my affliction sat smiling slyly in front of me.

"Now, just lie back and let's take care of this for you."

Hey, who am I to argue. She's the trained nurse!

****

I was sitting in her Posh (silly girl) with the wheelchair 'elastic strapped' to the roof ski racks. This was once my car, the one I'd been driving at the time of the 'accident'. It was over six years old but it had low mileage and my Angel adored it... and drove the thing like A J Foyt! It fascinated me to want desperately to stamp my right foot into the floor to help brake the bloody missile that she understood to be her daily 'mild' mode of transport. I even curiously examined my foot to see if it twitched... even a little bit... because my brain was definitely screaming out all the right signals! So in frustration and fright I decided to squeal verbally instead...

"Shit... look out!" A bloody bus just pulled out without indication but Angel just tutted, reefed right, slotted a lower gear and accelerated... just like the Scud missile she was imitating!

Up until three months ago the girl didn't even have a licence! The turn into the mall car park was executed like one of those precision drivers slotting a ridiculously over-sized car into equally ridiculous undersized gap! She pulled the hand brake, feathered the clutch and next thing I know we're sitting against the curb perfectly parallel parked in the invalid zone. The only thing to give away the manoeuvre was the remnant stink of tire smoke! Oh, and about a hundred curious onlookers! Angel bounced out of the ridiculously low vehicle in a breeze blown knee length summer dress, pranced around the hood grinning like a chimp and showing off to the max! She soon had the chair in place and me sitting bemused and bewildered within its confines clutching at the arm rests white knuckled and still trying to catch up!

She was amazing! I would realize in time just how so, because she had this natural ability to think on her feet, learn fast and act quickly!

I'd promised her a day out shopping and in the absence of my wife, I thought today would suit just fine. Normally I'd just book some high end boutique for the day and let the staff there fawn and flutter about, fussing over her and fitting her... but no... Angel wanted to go to the bloody Mall! I can't ever remember coming to a place like this. It was horrid, crowded and smelly. But this was Angel's domain!

Now, I've had Angel wheel my chair before, but never in a crowded environment like we found ourselves in on that hectic Saturday afternoon. Of course I sat out front as she pushed from behind. Mistake! Have you ever been on one of those mad rides where you are confronted by a huge visual screen displaying all sorts of obstacles and, as certain death approaches you at rapid speed, you're jerked away at the last possible life saving micro-second, but only then to face yet another form of in your face certain death? Try that, but only in reality, for two full hours, zigzagging from dress shop to lingerie shop, food court to coffee outlet! I wanted to be sick! She drove through that tight crowd like a bat relying on radar! Split second decisions to dive right, dart left or stop on a dime, avoiding a certain collision by a mere millisecond. The experience had me appreciating carnival rides for their dreariness!

Anyway Angel enjoyed every crazed moment; giggling and dancing for joy at every purchase I nodded my approval too. I had her model some pretty sexy dresses and even coxed her out of the dressing rooms in some lingerie. At first she was coy and shy, but as the day progressed she became more confident. Of course I praised her and clapped her and it wasn't just to boost her confidence. I did it because she was a beautiful exotic creature. I soon worked out that my girl was 5'4" tall and had, at best, B cups, but god she was perfect. There wasn't one ounce of unnecessary fat on her lean body and her dark skin glistened like pure black marble. I say unnecessary fat because there was an abundance of it on her bum, but wow! She pirouetted and twirled, laughed and clapped her mirrored image in delight. I could tell she was having quite possibly the best day of her life. I 'encouraged' her into the beauty salon and when she emerged I almost mistook her for Jessica Alba, until I realized Jessica wouldn't be seen alone in a mall, and took a second take. Wow! Angel just grinned, grabbed my wheelchair and spun me back toward the crowd. I soon worked out the correlation between her happiness was inversely proportional to her sanity! When we skidded to a stop at a coffee house I searched the board desperately requiring a scotch!

But the girl was beaming, so I grinned palely and ordered two lattes.

When we arrived home, still intact and surprisingly without panel damage, I invited Angel to dinner at Harry's, an upmarket restaurant on Bell Street, where I knew one phone call would gain us instant entrance. She just kept dancing in circles until she collapsed from dizziness, but somehow she orchestrated that 'faint' as a staggered lunge into my arms and a kiss on the lips!

Yes, she was truly amazing.

Now, you must forgive this indulgence, but you see I'd never seen Angel dolled up. When she slinked shyly into the lounge in her new tiny yellow dress, heels and accessories I nearly keeled over! Her feet were slightly turned inward, depicting a lack of confidence. Hands were clasped nervously in front. Eyes shone, teeth flashed and newly styled hair free flowed like onyx rapids in an Amazonian tributary. I wanted to bow down at her feet and, if not for the encumbrance of the wheelchair, I likely would have.

Learning lessons from previous experiences, I dialed up a limo and we had a 'comfortable' ride downtown, chatting and laughing like two besotted school kids.

Later that night she whispered into my ear as she tucked me in bed.

"Just think, your beautiful wife is making love to her man again right now. Isn't that wonderful?" The Angel kissed my lips. Truth be known, I'd almost forgotten my wife existed! It had been a wonderful day and one I would cherish forever.

I slept like a baby but my imagery of heaven had altered.

****

So the dynamics around the place were now open and uninhibited, bar one; my attraction to Kathy... My feelings remained coiled within me. My wife could see I was close to my nurse, but for her to believe it was anything more than gratitude was perhaps akin to the wicked Queen believing she was still the most beautiful in all the land, refusing to accept that Snow White had eclipsed her.

Now I loved Jill, of that there was no denying, but are we as humans capable of ranging love? My wife firmly believed that 'anomaly' existed in her constant claiming of her undeniable love for both me, her husband, and equally, for her lover... not forgetting her children and her deep love for them. So, could I actually be in love with Kathy as well? She was so far beneath my station and she was beautifully black, not white, but I knew I loved her, of that there was no denial. I mulled over the conundrum constantly, trying to work through my feelings.

Kathy wheeled me into the kitchen for breakfast one morning. The kids were still asleep and it was a Sunday. Jill was fussing over a plate of muesli and she turned to recognize our entrance. God she looked great. Was there such a thing as liquid denim? Shit... and she was bra-less!

"Hi honey... Kathy. What are you guys up to today?" Jill smiled and transitioned panther like to Carl who placed his newspaper and reached up to invite her into his lap... an offer immediately accepted. One big hand wrapped her close and pushed up under the t-shirt, quickly establishing a hold over one breast, a finger obviously sweeping the hard nub beneath. She giggled and squirmed, seated herself harder into his groin and began spooning cereal between his smirk tainted contoured lips.

Kathy seemed oblivious to the interaction played out before her, poured herself a coffee and turned to lean back against the bench top cradling the wafting aromatic brew in both hands. "I thought we might head down the coast in the Posh, do some sightseeing or somethin. Jack needs some sunlight." She took a slurpy sip.

I made a frantic faux cut throat shaking of head pleading 'mime' from my chair, positioned behind Kathy and out of view. There was no way I was spending time in that car with AJ! I never signed up to be a crash test dummy! Jill would save me and suggest an alternative.

"What a lovely idea Kathy, Jack would love a nice leisurely drive... wouldn't you darling?" My dear wife grinned at me as she fed Carl another spoonful of his breakfast. There were two hands under the cotton top now, feasting on my wife's softness, pinching and kneading the hardness. She did not seem perturbed at all, rather thrusting out her chest as if to seek more of the pleasure she was undoubtedly receiving. "Hmm... that's lovely babe... didn't you get enough this morning?" She chuckled and popped in another spoonful. "You mister are a machine." Jill set the breakfast bowl down, jumped up and excitedly towed Carl to his feet. "Well, you guys enjoy your day; we're going back to bed. The big boy has some unfinished work to perform." More giggles and arm tugging followed her breathless delivery.

"Hey, what can I say..." Carl shrugged as if reluctantly capitulating to my wife's demands. "A man's work is never ending!" He feigned reluctance as Jill dragged at his arm. The moment they were out of sight we heard a squeal then a resounding smack, more squeals and the clumping of heavy feet up wooden stairs as Carl carried his excited lover up to their bedroom for round two of the morning activities.

I hadn't realized the omnipresence kneeling beside me was holding my hand. Angel's perfume permeated my nasal passages and seeped into my pores. Her smell was intoxicating. I blinked back to reality just as she whispered into my ear. "That turned you on, didn't it Jack?" I shivered and nodded with my eyes. She was caressing my groin. "You know, I could help out with this. I mean... properly help out." Her voice sounded of silk.

It actually took a moment to register what she was really saying.

"Angel, I'd love to... have you help out, but I can't cheat on Jill. She's my wife and it wouldn't be right." I could see the disbelief, so I continued. "Honey I condoned their relationship. I wasn't around for nearly six years; what else could my wife do? She loves me, and I love her and I'm not going to be unfaithful to her. I feel guilty every time you touch me, but I consider that as therapy..." Well... that was my lie to myself anyway.

Angel glanced up at the ceiling. Yes I too heard the muffled cry of my wife in the throes of ecstasy. Big brown eyes glazed over as she stared at me. "What if we ask her permission?" Her voice was almost inaudible. I stroked her beautiful cheek.

What if we asked permission? It was a good question. I could just imagine the moment. 'Um... Jill, honey, would it be okay if I... you know, I did the dance with Kathy. It would just be the once or maybe just occasionally...' She would stand there looking cross and disappointed with me... arms folded and brow furrowed. 'Are you kidding me, you want to screw that little slut? She's just a ... a nobody! A druggy! Alright, I admit she's cute, and funny but... Anyway, you don't even function and even if you did, I could allow you the occasional mercy hand job... but I'd have to ask Carl first.'

Okay, maybe my brain was spinning a bit. Had I forgotten to tell her that Angel had got me working again?

"I could ask her Angel, but why would you even consider making love to me? I'm useless and broken. You need to find a nice young buff man and..." I stopped mid-sentence, realizing she was crying soft wet tears.

"I... don't... want... anyone else..." Each word interspersed by sobs. "I... I love you..."

Oh shit, the 'L' word. It shouldn't have surprised me because I saw it in her eyes, and in her actions every single day.

"I've loved you for years..." That revelation was followed by a wail and her pretty head fell heavily into my lap. "You saved me..." I caressed the mass of thick black curls and tried to sooth her. At least she had the guts to admit the truth... unlike me, the gutless boy wonder. How could this perfect creature love an ideal, for surely that's what she'd clung to for all those years that I was locked away? I actually heaved a sob when I realized that it was exactly that ideology and love, that belief in me that had allowed me to come back... to live again. This girl was special... this girl owned me. I hadn't saved her, she'd save me!

We cried together as the cries of ecstasy from the upstairs bedroom framed our reality.

****

CHAPTER 8.

JILL.

So thing's back then had snowballed out of control. I was banging Carl three and four times a week, or was that Carl banging me? Anyway we were out of control. I kept convincing myself it was just sex, but what did I know?

What I did know was that I loved my husband. Jack was a kind and considerate man, capable of intelligent interaction and companionship. Of course his money and the quality of life he provided was cool, but I truly loved him!

So why was I sleeping with his best friend? That terminology was a laugh! We rarely slept! Guilt should have consumed me, but strangely it did not.

I knew Jack got off watching me flirt and swoon over Carl and other men if the circumstances permitted, so I justified my intimacy as an extension to Jack's fantasy. We should have just been upfront about it, but both of us (Carl and I) considered it too soon, and how the hell did I confess the transgressions of my wedding night!!?

So ultimately the mix of guilt and apprehension delayed the inevitable.

When I convinced Jack that Carl was the ideal person to employ to construct the pool shed and outdoor entertainment area he quickly agreed to the proposal not realizing the consequences. As soon as Carl arrived to start work we were at it! I don't think there's one place in the house were we didn't do it. I smile at the memory of lying naked and prostrate on the kitchen table, legs held back as Carl lazily took me whilst studying a plan of the pool shed spread over my chest and conveniently propped up by my substantial 'assets'. The smooth bastard even prompted me to answer questions concerning the cladding as I moaned and wailed in orgasm. I remember one particularly hard day when he took me to Eden seven times! Okay, so I was my own worst enemy and I guess swimming in the pool naked while he hammered away nearby wearing just a pair of khaki shorts wasn't really fair, but needless to say his hammering soon took on a whole different perspective!