Into the Darkness Ch. 03

The incessant buzz of the alarm clock roused Paul from his sleep. Instinctively he reached over and pressed the snooze button, wanting nothing more than a few minutes to collect his thoughts before facing the day. The shifting of the bed, and a soft moan reminded him of the events of the night before. He turned and looked at Donna, sleeping peacefully in the bed behind him. That only served to emphasize the events that had transpired and the need to come to grips with them, and find some sort of resolution.

He didn't kid himself. He knew what had happened was nothing more than a few moments of unbridled lust, propagated by the tragic events that had brought the two of them together. Nevertheless, he had allowed the events to take him somewhere he had not wanted to go, at least he didn't think he wanted to go there.

Sliding from the bed, Paul switched off the alarm clock before grabbing some clothes and making his way into the living room. Grabbing up his clothes so carelessly shed the night before he stood, and started toward the bathroom. As he passed the couch he stopped, looking down at the suitcase Donna had brought with her. He sat down, and reached out, flipping open the clasps that held the bag shut.

Climbing into the shower he let the blasts of hot water spray against him hoping to soothe his mind as the water poured over him. Images of the events of the last few days ran through his mind as he stood there. He tried to make sense of it, tried to sort through the mixture of heartache, pain and need. He thought back to the night in his office, how he had thought Karen had been Donna, and how he had clung to her, even after realizing who she was. He thought of their later encounter, without the alcohol, or the pretense, and the love that seemed to flow from it.

He leaned against the wall, the water still spraying hard against him, letting the memories wash over him like the jets of water. He knew he had to be honest with Karen, tell her what had happened. He wasn't sure how she would respond, but then he wasn't sure it really mattered. Slowly, a sense of resolve settled over him, and he stood facing the shower head, the spray bouncing of his face as he set his mind on a course of action. Today was a new day, a new start, and he would let the past take care of itself.

Drying off, he slipped into his clothes, eager to get the day started now that he had a direction to take it. Stepping from the bathroom, he walked down the hall into the living room. The house was quiet as he stepped out into the living room. He saw Donna's clothes in a pile on the floor. Her suitcase lay where he had left it, half open on the couch. Reaching down, he picked up her clothing and walked over to the couch. He opened the suitcase and stuffed them inside before quickly snapping it shut. The sound of the latches clicking closed felt good, like the closing of a too long left open chapter of his life.

Picking up the suitcase he walked down the hallway to his bedroom. Opening the door he stepped inside, his eyes drawn to the still sleeping form of his ex-wife. He walked to the side of the bed and let the suitcase fall with a thud.

"Donna," he said, his voice calm, neither harsh nor comforting. "Donna, it's time to go." He said, pulling the covers back to reveal her naked form, curled up like a babe.

"Donna," he repeated, a bit louder, but still maintaining the tone of emotionless calm. "It's time for you to go."

Donna slowly rolled onto her back, her eyes opening to look up at him. She smiled and reached out for his hand. He let her take it, and watched as she pulled it to her cheek. He was surprised at how good he felt, how in control for the first time in far to long.

"Good morning," she said, her lips gently caressing his hand.

"Good morning," he responded, slowly pulling his hand from her grasp. "I brought you your suitcase so you can dress. It's time for you to go," he continued, still his voice calm, emotionless.

"But, I thought. I mean, after last night I just thought that ," she said, looking up at him, surprise etched across her face.

"It just wouldn't work," he said, "It's time for you to go."

He turned and slowly walked from the room, as she started to shout in protest. He wouldn't argue with her. Arguing would mean that somehow she meant something to him, and she didn't, not anymore. His heart leapt for joy as he realized that finally, after all those years, finally he was free of her.

"Please lock the door when you leave," he said, as he closed the door behind himself.

Sitting in the driveway, Paul looked out at the small brick house he knew so well. He admired the maple tree sitting proud in the center of the lawn, its branches spread wide to catch the morning sun. The rows of white stones he and Julie had spent hours arranging along either side of the walk to keep the walk free of grass. The rows of Petunias they planted every year on either side of the front door. Putting the car in reverse, he backed out onto the street, a sense of peace filling him as he drove the short drive to Karen's home.

His hand was outstretched to push the doorbell when the door opened revealing Karen, standing there, her face the old familiar stone mask he had known for so long. She stepped back, allowing him to enter. He could tell that she already knew, that Donna had already called her. In fact he had counted on it. As the door closed, he turned toward her, his face emotionless, not hard and cold, nor warm and loving. He was so far beyond that now. He started to speak but she pushed past him and strode into the living room.

"I don't want to hear it," she said, picking up a phone book, then throwing it back down.

"There's nothing you can say to make me forgive you for what you did," she continued.

Paul could see the tears coursing down her face as she strode from one spot to another, picking up item after item only to send them crashing to the floor.

"I'm not here to try and apologize," he said, matter of factly. "I'm here to tell you thank you. Thank you for being there for Julie for all those years, and thank you for being there for me."

"You bastard!" she screamed, "Donna called. She told me all about it. How dare you!"

"Listen, Karen. I know you're angry and you have every right to be. But I'm not here to argue. What happened, happened. It's in the past now. I'm just here to say one thing," he paused, looking at her, and for the first time a sense of feeling, of regret, passed across his face.

"It's time for me to go," he said.

Paul could still hear the shouts of anger as he climbed into his car. He reached up and wiped the tear from his cheek as he put the car in gear and pulled out of the driveway. For a moment he wondered how a woman could go so wrong, how she could lose the ability to love. He thought back to the morning and the note he had found in Donna's suitcase. The note from Karen. The note he had left stuck to the bathroom mirror, along with a note of his own, a note that simply said "It all goes to charity!"

A note to my readers: I apologize for this final chapter taking so long. I took the liberty of rewriting the time line of the final series of events into what I wished they had been. But then, had they occurred so quickly I might not have had the opportunity to share these events with you. Nor may I have had the opportunity to share with you the other thoughts that have strolled through my mind. I thank you for taking the time to read my words, and I hope to someday put pen to paper again for your enjoyment. To those of you who find the ending to this rather disappointing, remember you are not alone. I feel the same.

Nevertheless, I place my foot on the accelerator, and speed up, merging into the busy traffic of the night. A song comes on, and I have to smile .... Life Is A Highway!

Best Wishes. Nightstalker1960