Invasion of the Alien Flesh Rockets

The idea they decided on was considered off the wall and highly unusual by commanders, but it was decided that it could be enacted the quickest of all potential methods. So the call went out to latex producers around the world to produce, as quickly as possible, at least a dozen 60-foot tall female blow-up dolls.

Perhaps ironically, the French were the first to answer the call, drawing up the plans for a doll that could take on three alien invaders at a time with tight, ribbed latex shafts in the position of a female mouth, pussy and ass. But production would take at least two days, even with all of the European latex production shifted to factories to produce the dolls. They would then be airlifted over and inflated with huge carbon dioxide canisters and left where the aliens could easily find them.

That left the United States military with what it saw as its only other option -- a full frontal attack with aircraft and artillery. It would have used ground forces, but they were all tied up elsewhere. Unable to wait two days for the French, and facing no immediate threat from the aliens, they decided to attack.

Imbedded reporters had a live interview with artillery commander Col. Mike Lansing as the attack was about to get underway.

"The giant penis creatures from Mars are currently in a blast crater directly below our current position and are surrounded by eight positions of heavy artillery that are all currently taking aim on their position," Lansing said. "I can see them in their hiding place and, with all their reported resources and their weapons of goo; I can't see how they can stand up to the power of this attack.

"Wait, what is that. It's something moving. Solid metal and kind of shield like rising up out of their transport tubes, it's going higher and higher. It's standing on legs. It's becoming some sort of framework as it reaches above the treeline and our searchlights with the giant penis creatures atop them. My God, it looks like one of those contraptions Plankton uses on Spongebob Squarepants when he tries to steal a Crabby Patty!"

The goo then began to fly, as Martians wiped out all eight artillery positions before they could get off a single shot. Out of nearly 7,000 troops, there were only 125 known survivors. Col. Lansing was not among them.

The air attack soon followed, with a flight of Air Force bombers taking off from East Coast airfields armed with a full compliment of smart bombs. The planes circled in preparation for their attack and weapons were dropped, zeroing in on their target as the world silently watched the video feed from the bombs as the approached their alien targets. Instead of success, the aliens' new metal framework shielded them from the blast, leaving them stand virtually unscathed.

And now that they have been attacked, the Martians responded in kind, using their metal framework to march toward downtown Chicago, spraying goo everywhere they went.

At this point, the President decided to address the nation.

"Citizens of the nation: I shall not try to conceal the gravity of the situation that confronts the country, nor the concern of your government in protecting the lives and property of its people. However, I wish to impress upon you -- private citizens and public officials, all of you -- the urgent need of calm and resourceful action. Fortunately, this formidable enemy is still confined to a comparatively small area, and we may place our faith in the military forces to keep them there while our worldwide allies try to come to our aid. In the meantime placing our faith in God we must continue the performance of our duties each and every one of us, so that we may confront this destructive adversary with a nation united, courageous, and consecrated to the preservation of human supremacy on this Earth. I thank you."

The news got no better as astronomers reported even more blasts coming from the surface of Mars, followed by reports of seismic activity all over the world. Realizing what they were now up against, forces were immediately marshaled to attack these "fleshlight cylinders" before they could open and to do their best to kill the emerging Martian penises before they could grow to their full, attack size. Fortunately for the rest of the world, this seemed to work.

Reports returned to Zoraida Sambolin, now standing atop the NBC tower in downtown Chicago.

"The sirens are screaming out across the city, warning residents to evacuate the city as the aliens approach. It is estimated that in the last two hours, over two million people have taken to the expressways in efforts to get out of the city, heading north to Wisconsin and east to Indiana to get as far away from the attacking force as they can," Sambolin said. "The roads are hopelessly jammed, even with all lanes being used to try and get people out of the city. Phone lines are down and cellular service has been greatly diminished as towers have been destroyed as the aliens approach. The only reliable means of communication is currently satellite transmission, which is what we are using for this report.

"For those unable to escape the city, local churches have been filled to overflowing as people look for some kind of solace, some kind of support from whatever God they believe in as their world seems to collapse around them. We can see the shadows of the creatures as they approach, standing fully erect atop their mechanical apparatus. We will broadcast for as long as we can, but we have no idea how long that will be.

"Looking toward the shores of Lake Michigan, all manner of boats are taking to the water in the hopes of escaping across the lake to safer areas in Michigan, Indiana and Wisconsin. How long those areas will remain safe is uncertain, as we continue to wait for help from our allies. All I know is that the aliens are approaching. They are firing high into the air as their goo rains down upon skyscrapers and dribbles down to the streets, burning all it touches. They are coming closer. They are firing again and..."

At that point, the transmission ended.

The aliens continued their march, one division of 12 moving north to destroy Milwaukee, Madison, Minneapolis, 12 more to the east to destroy Detroit, Cleveland, Cincinnati and the final 12 to the west to destroy Des Moines, Omaha and Kansas City. Each group left nothing but a swath of destruction and slimy goo wherever they went.

Finally, the French came through on their promises -- with French aircraft dropping four of the latex blowup dolls near each of the three groups of marauding penises. As each doll inflated, it took little time for the aliens to take notice and change course to move toward the dolls.

Once they got to the dolls, the aliens dismounted their machinery and mounted the dolls, gangbanging each of them as alien penis filled every available orifice, plunging in deep, hard and fast.

It didn't go as expected, as the aliens went at the dolls in every imaginable way. Some preferred simply straight sex, waiting their turn to slide into the dolls' pussy, while others went everywhere -- one doll outside of Cleveland taking two Martians in its pussy, one in its ass, one in its mouth, one in each of its C-shape curled hands and one sliding up and down between its latex breasts, the alien cocks literally splitting the doll open before finally erupting inside and all over the dolls face and breasts, leaving them balls deep in a puddle of their own, white, hot, sticky alien goo.

As they withdrew from the dolls, the U.S. Air Force quickly moved in with fighter planes, strafing the now weakened penises with machine gun fire before they could return to the defensive positions of their machines and then wiping them from the face of the Earth with the same smart bombs that had been brushed away by their defensive machinery. Hitting them when they were down seemed to work, as after having spent themselves in pursuit of sexual gratification with latex dolls, the alien penises were left weak and defenseless -- virtually impotent against the attack of the military forces of the United States.

Finally, the aliens had been vanquished -- and all on worldwide television, making the alien death the highest rated snuff porn broadcast in the history of television.

But the final note of the report was not to come from Brokaw, Couric, Gibson or Hume. It came from a much less expected place -- a man who had died 24 years earlier.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is Orson Welles, to assure you that the Invasion of the Alien Flesh Rockets has no further significance than as the holiday offering it was intended to be. Our Literotica version of dressing up in a sheet and jumping out of a bush and saying Boo! Starting now, we couldn't soap all your windows and steal all your garden gates by Halloween night, so we did the next best thing. We annihilated the world inside of your very own perverted imagination. You will be relieved, I hope, to learn that we didn't mean it, and that the City of Chicago and the world as a whole is still open for business. So goodbye everybody, and remember the terrible lesson you learned tonight. That grinning, glowing, invader of your living room that you call a computer is an inhabitant of the pumpkin patch, and if your doorbell rings and nobody's there, that was no gigantic Martian penis...it's Halloween.