Inversion

Ash's hand grabbed her shoulder and pulled her upright, quarter-turned her and pushed her back down. She was kneeling in front of Ash, watching the shirt rise and fall a few inches from her nose in time to the panting. All her attention focussed on the buckle of Ash's belt.

"Open."

She relaxed her jaw just a little, barely parted her lips; as if there was something unspoken between them to make both understand the other needed penetration rather than gaping invitation. Her own juices smearing on her cheeks and lips as Ash's hand pushed inside, and Jo was sucking on it as she had never sucked on anything before. Taking in the taste of her own arousal and Ash's dominance, swallowing it desperately. She could never remember anything like it: taste filling her mouth and throat, scent under her nose; torn sopping cloth hanging against her; wetness on her thighs. Ash was right -- dirty bitch. It felt so inexpressibly good on her body.

Ash pulled her hand free and took a step back. For a moment there was nothing but the sound of their breathing. Very slowly Ash unbuckled her belt and slid it round until the end dropped free of the last loop.

"Hold out your hands ..."

Jo stretched her arms in front of her, hands close together but not quite touching. She knew exactly what to do, exactly what was coming next. She knew this woman and what was wanted from her. Ash looped the belt lightly over both Jo's wrists.

"... That what you want?"

"No."

Pulling off the wrists again, draping lightly around her neck instead. No need even for spoken question this time, slight rise to the eyebrow answered by slight shake of her own head. Ash's voice was back to that gentle reassuring tone from the pub.

"Tell me Jo."

"Beat me. Please."

She didn't need to be told what to do, didn't even need a light push on her way. She bent down and rested her forehead on the carpet in front of Ash's feet. Her hands slowly pulled her skirt back up and the tattered remains of her knickers just far enough down. When it was done she stretched her arms out in front as if the wrists really were tied, sliding them along the floor between Ash's slightly parted feet. She knew her voice was too soft for Ash to hear her mumble into the carpet, but she said 'please' again anyway.

Footsteps in the darkness of her screwed-shut eyes; damp feeling cold and tingling on her thighs; anticipation ...

The doubled belt slapped hard across her backside, pushing her face into the floor, whooping the breath from her mouth. Pain behind her, strangely not as much as she had expected. Enough to be sure, but not unbearable. Steps walking round her, laying a mirror image across her from the other side. Six in all, very slow and deliberate; the pain and fear of pain increasing with each one, until the last truly was the most she could stand. Face buried in the carpet and bare backside stuck in the air: arse above head; gaping, drooling cunt bared and obvious to the woman who was hitting her. Availability and submission both total.

Please Ashley, please be the meticulously prepared girl you always were. Please have something big and cruel somewhere in this flat to wear for me. Please let me feel your thighs inside mine and your fingers hooked round my pelvis. Please drive into me until the carpet burns my face. Please just fuck me from behind like an animal here on your floor. Please Ashley.

She felt Ash's hand in her hair, pulling her up with surprising gentleness. The looped belt dropped over her head and she felt it tighten round her neck. She stared at Ash's trousers in front of her. She watched Ash's hand slowly undo the button and hover at the zip. It had been so long, seven years or more since that last stupid giggling tipsy time. The other girl must have been as old then as Ash was now, but she was a silly girl still, and Ash was so much more than that. And she knew that Ash was enjoying treating her like this, knew she would be as wet and desperate as she herself was. Imagine diving into that and feeling it over her face. Imagine ...

Ash slapped her hard across the cheek.

She wasn't expecting it, her body wasn't braced and it knocked her sideways to the floor. Whatever tiny thread of self-control remained inside her snapped with the blow. She wanted everything, all at once: to be fucked every imaginable way again and again. Mouth, cunt, arse; to be slapped and spanked; to be cut; to have her face sat on and be made to go down and give her tongue from every angle possible. She looked up, to meet the eyes and let Ash see the desperation of need in her own ...

Ash was standing frozen in place, staring at her own hand. When Jo looked up, Ash bolted to the bathroom and slammed the door behind her.

Silence for perhaps a minute, and then Jo heard sobbing from behind the door.

***

"Ash?"

Jo realised the belt was still hanging round her neck. It seemed important not to leave it there, so she laid it on the bed before going back to the bathroom door and knocking softly. No answer, just the quiet crying. She tried the door hesitantly. It wasn't locked.

"Ash, I'm coming in, alright?"

Ash was sitting on the side of the bath. Jo squeezed into the tiny space and knelt at Ash's feet. She reached out for Ash's hand.

"What is it baby?"

"I'm sorry. I don't know what ..."

"It's alright. Honest, it's just fine."

"I hit your face."

"Hey, hush now. It's fine. I really didn't mind."

"I'm so sorry, Jo. I'm ... Look, I'm just sorry. I didn't ..."

Ash must have realised she was beginning to babble. She stopped and swallowed, gripped hard on Jo's hand.

"... I haven't really done this before. There was a girlfriend, you know, and we ... We had some fun, but all it was was fun, it never got as heavy as that. And then I saw you last week, and you just made me feel so weird. The way you looked sitting there, and I just wanted to ... Fuck, Jo, you just looked so hot. You always have."

"I'm sorry?"

"Did you ever? Back then, did you ever think about me and ... you know?"

"No, Ashley. Never. I promise."

"I did. So often. Lying there in the dark and thinking about you. I wished you were. Like if we were both doing it over the same idea we were sort of doing it together. And then you were sitting there looking all little and sad, and I just wanted to protect you."

"Oh Ashley, that's so sweet of you."

"I just fucking hit you, I'm not sweet. I'm a vicious bitch."

"I don't believe that."

"You looked so cute, you know? And I thought, maybe ... But you went away. I wasn't angry, I promise it wasn't that. I was just talking to you on the phone, and I could remember how good you look but I couldn't actually see your face. I could just hear your voice, and you're you, and it was so hot talking like that and I just got carried away. Did it again just now. I am so fucking sorry."

Jo stroked Ash's face. She didn't have a clue what to say. For a moment she wondered if it was all part of whatever game Ash had been playing, then she looked at the girl's face and hated herself for the thought. The poor thing was distraught. She really did look like a girl again, just as sweet and perfect as she had on that first day that knotted Jo's stomach and made her hate herself.

"What do you mean, Ash: I am me?"

"You're the one. Don't you realise that? Always have been. So wanted to give it up to you, right now I want to apologise I didn't."

"Oh my baby."

She had said it before, without thinking. But this time they both noticed. Ash pulled herself together a little.

"Look, I really ought to go to bed. I'm so fucked up. Can you do me a favour? There's a couple of bottles in the kitchen. Take them with you, yeah? Don't leave me alone with them."

"Ashley, I don't want to leave you alone at all. You're in no fit state. Can I stay please?"

"Sure you want to?"

"I do. I'd rather not sleep in the armchair either, would you mind that too much? I'm going to go to the kitchen and make us something sensible to drink; you get changed if you want. I haven't brought anything to ... If you want to lend me something, that's fine; I'm quite happy if you don't. Come on, sweetheart, let's get you to bed."

When she came back with two mugs of cocoa, she found Ash curled in the bed wearing an old T-shirt. Jo sat on the edge while they drank, and quietly told Ash to please stop apologising because there was no harm done. Then she switched off the light before slipping out of her clothes and climbing into bed. Ash snuggled into her breasts, and Jo rocked her to sleep.

*****

Jo woke up to find Ash's arm draped over her and Ash's breath snoring lightly at the back of her neck. She realised with the gentlest of shocks that there was no other shock: none of that strange disorientation that comes from waking in a room not your own. It felt very comfortable here with the slight pressure of another person behind her. The sleeve of Ash's T-shirt had pushed up onto her shoulder in the night, and Jo could just see an unfocussed dark something at the edge of her vision. It made her smile, she had never been in bed with a tattoo before. She wanted to move her head back to see what it was; she was more than a little tempted to kiss it, but doing either would disturb Ash and that was unthinkable.

She carefully lifted Ash's hand and placed it on her own breast. It begin to squeeze instinctively, even though Ash was still asleep. Jo found herself fighting the temptation to push it down between her legs. She couldn't use the poor girl like that. She found herself imagining that she had slept late instead: waking hot and confused to find that Ash had been groping her, fingers already inside as she came to ...

"Morning."

"Hello there."

Ash's hand stopped guiltily.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. I was enjoying it."

"Sorry about last night. Made a complete prat of myself."

"No, you didn't."

"Forgive me?"

Jo turned round to face her. God, the poor thing, she looked devastated. Jo stroked her face.

"Nothing to forgive."

"I hit you."

"You did. It was rather fun. I'm just like you, Ash, I've played a few games but I've never found the right person to do it for real. I'd like to try with you, if you'll let me."

"Sure?"

"Certain. You didn't do anything wrong at all, baby; the only thing you did that I regret was stopping when you did."

She took Ash's hand gently and laid it on her still tender backside. Ash's kneading made her gasp. Ash didn't stop.

"Don't ever want to hit your face again."

"Then don't. Just hit my bum instead. Sit on my face ..."

For all the easy smile and confidence, Ashley had always seemed a very open girl. Not quite as much as Jo had supposed, of course, now she knew of the secret inside, but her moods had always been there right on the surface. She had never been a good liar. Jo felt the thrill ripple through herself as Ash gripped her harder and inhaled sharply.

"... Like that idea? I'd like you to; tie me down and sit on my face. Make me make you come, take that from me without asking. I'd like us to try that. Let me please you."

Jo's hand pushed into Ash's shorts and stroked lightly along the cleft. Ash rolled over on her back so Jo could nestle against her shoulder.

"Please Jo."

"Don't say 'please', just instruct me. Tell me, or take my hand in yours and show me. Tell me the truth, Ash, what's the worst thing you've ever imagined doing to me?"

"No."

"Please."

"No. Just don't, alright? It's disgusting, I'm really sorry. Don't spoil the mood, please."

"Tell me, Ash."

"Let it alone, yeah?"

Lips parted under her fingertips, Ash gasped against her. She was still so transparent and adorable; she hadn't been able to stop her eyes flickering towards the bathroom door. That wasn't so bad, in fact it was one of those things that Jo had always wondered about. She rested her head on Ash's shoulder and spoke as softly as the stroking of her finger.

"Just listen to me please, Ashley. Hear me out. I'm going to do my best, but it won't be good enough. I'll give you an adequate but not perfect orgasm, so you're going to give me a bit of a spank for spoiling it ..."

Ash's hand was on the back of hers, manipulating her finger against Ash's clitoris. She looked at that beautiful profile with its open mouth, and whispered into the ear beside her. Whispered things that she had never imagined saying aloud to anyone.

"... then you're going to take me next door and teach me a lesson I won't forget. I'm not going to drink it, Ashley, I'm not prepared to do that but I will let you do anything else you want. If neither of us like it, we don't ever have to do it again, but you're going to do it this morning to put me in my place for good. Piss on me, my Mistress; and then wash me down. Make me dirty, make me clean again. Make me yours. Please."

She nestled into Ash's shoulder, nibbled gently on Ash's ear, and tried her very almost-best to please her Mistress.

*****

They spent the Saturday afternoon looking round the gallery that Jo had abandoned the previous week. Ash was quiet and easily conversational, careful to give Jo space. They might have looked entirely innocent to a casual observer, but Jo felt the comfortable reassurance of another person beside her. To her surprise she found the knowledge of what had happened earlier equally reassuring -- that one had always been the dirtiest of kinky secrets in the very back of her mind, she had wanted it because there was a part of her that wanted to take the nastiest thing that Ash could do to her. Now it had been done, the memory gave her an utterly unexpected glow of belonging. Poor Ash, it had turned out not to be her kind of thing after all, but it wasn't as if they had to make a habit of it. So they had walked around -- Jo looking at the exhibits and Ash looking at Jo -- and Jo caught herself talking like a teacher and apologised for going on. Ash had given her that easy smile and said she liked to listen.

Back to Ash's tiny flat: to an evening in bed that was gentle and mutual between them; to a long slow Sunday morning that sometimes wasn't at all gentle. In between they had the practical responsible talk the situation required: a safe word, and those few things that really did have to be off-limits. Ash had explained, very slowly and very carefully, that they needed to face that looming elephant in the corner. She would play if Jo wanted to, she wanted to play it herself, but it would never be anything but a game between two people who understood that Jo hadn't really done anything wrong back then. That wasn't negotiable, Ash had no resentments to work out and she wasn't prepared to feed Jo's paranoid fancies. Jo had agreed, and hoped it was true, and for the first conscious time in this bizarre rollercoaster of emotion and intense desire had realised she was in something closer to love than lust.

Ash had a job to go back to on Monday, as much as Jo had a new school year to prepare for. Parting wasn't easy but it was unavoidable. They emailed and phoned. Sometimes the phone calls were sweet and everyday -- how are you, how was work, what did you have for tea -- sometimes they weren't. Jo invited Ash down for a weekend, and was touched by the answer. Was she sure? Ash was out, and not a teacher, and living in the anonymity of a far larger city; she would understand if ... Jo had invited her again, and she'd accepted.

Jo found herself unable to sleep, at two in the morning she had switched on her computer to check the rail timetables. Ash had to make one change, if Jo caught the first train of the day she could meet her there and have almost two hours more together. She felt like a teenager again, so caught up in the whirl of passion. For a moment she considered the awful possibility of missing their connection, and then she reflected that mobile phones had surely been invented to allow lovers to do silly impetuous things and still keep in touch.

And so she sat on the platform seat a little after eight with a slight early September chill in the air, and scanned the people stepping out of the carriage until she saw Ash and something fluttered inside. Walking easily towards her with that open smile and a rucksack over one shoulder of the leather jacket. Leather carried thrilling implications in Jo's mind: to be honest, she preferred the look of that suit, but leather would more than do for now.

"Hi, been waiting long?"

Too long. Far, far too long; but you're here now and it doesn't matter anymore.

"Not at all. Got time for a coffee?"

They sat over a brief cup. Ash looked a little nervous, which made Jo want to cuddle her. She was ... Well, she was simply still very young in some ways; and there are certain things that need to be grown into. They had talked about this before. Ash -- the strong, confident and sexual but still very sweet person Ash truly was -- sometimes felt a little nervous about it all. Jo gave her hand a quick squeeze.

"Train'll be here in a minute, Ashley."

The woman across the table squared her shoulders, and Jo looked into Ashley's face and felt the overwhelming need to be simply and selfishly fucked flood through herself.

***

Ashley nodded at a seat, which Jo took without a word, and stowed her rucksack in the luggage rack overhead. Jo was amazed at the power of the thrill: body leaning above her; that same belt near her face; jacket hanging open with the scent of new leather in her nostrils. Ashley sat down opposite her and the train started. Jo, of course, was facing backwards. It was just a little disorientating, it focussed her attention on Ashley. The woman she was really coming to think of as her lover might be a little hesitant, but she obviously had very good instincts where this was concerned. The carriage was quiet -- all the traffic at this time of day was in the opposite direction -- and there was nobody on the other side of the aisle. Ashley spoke softly, she didn't draw attention but neither did she seem to be too concerned about being overheard.

"Turn you on? Dressing like that?"

She was looking at Jo's blouse, taking in the very apparent fact that there was no bra underneath. She must be able to see that the looking itself was causing a reaction.

"Sorry."

"Don't be, I like it. What about ...?"

No need to say what about, of course.

"Yes. I am."

"Why? Think I want you to?"

"I don't think you want me to decide. I think it's your choice."

Once again Ashley gave her that small, subtle nod. She went to the toilet and came back with her knickers stuffed in the pocket of her coat. She had barely sat down when the conductor arrived to check their tickets. She felt so cheap and vulnerable knowing the state she was in a few feet from him. He moved a little down the aisle and another passenger asked him about connections to Liverpool.

"Give them to me."

Quiet voice but emphatic. Jo took them out of her pocket with the sound of that innocent conversation loud in her ears, and attempted to pass them under the table. Ash shook her head, subtle as always.

Jo tried to ball them up until they were invisible in her hand. Please, please do not let someone wander past on their way to the buffet. She put her knickers on the top of the table, and Ashley casually scooped them up and into the pocket of the biker jacket. Yes, Jo did prefer the suit overall, but there's something rather special in thinking a woman is carrying your undies as a trophy in her leathers, isn't there?

Ashley straightened out, pushing her calves between Jo's and oh so slightly spreading her legs. Her voice continued in its easy conversational tone.

"If I told you to go back there ...?"

Once again, the implication so clear; so much dirtier sometimes for not being said than the dirtiest of words could be. Yes, Mistress: I would frig myself off to order in the toilet compartment of a train, with strangers on the other side of the door. Yes I would come back to you and let you sniff at my hand to prove it, if that's what you wanted. I would -- I will -- do what you tell me to.