Is it Cheating?

This is a response to another article Forgiveness by patricia51 that was posted and I just couldn't say what I wanted to say in the short comments section. I noticed that many just wrote their entire thoughts in the comments but mercy that is like reading another article. Therefore I decided to simply write an article on the same sort of topics.

The author seemed to mainly be a focus on trying to turn a gray issue black and white so it could be a little easier to handle appropriately. Not to say that is impossible but it is a rather difficult chore.

The author is very correct in that you have to take each situation into consideration individually if you are being fair. After all if two consenting adults come to the agreement that they want an open relationship that allows them many freedoms in the sexual area then it is very hard for anyone else to judge their being unfaithful to each other.

But I also agree that just because you are in an open relationship that their can't be cheating. Seriously if you was in an open relationship and had agreed upon certain rules such as maybe saying you cannot have sex with any previous lovers or not wanting you having sex with anyone else unless the other is there then went on and done it disregarding those wishes of the one you love, isn't that breaking trust and faith?

Now since the author did mention the white house I have to explore that avenue but not from the point she was implying. First of all why is it our business who the president has sex/not quite sex because it wasn't penetration with? Because the sad truth is most people have a sick curiosity for knowing who is doing whom when and where and how long can they talk about them for it as a hobby. If his wife didn't have anything to say about it then why should we?

Society has no business deciding who is being unfaithful between couples. That is personal and up to the other person to decide. The only bad thing about that is that men and women alike are dishonest with the person they say they love the most in the world. More and more it is becoming acceptable as a society to cheat as long as you don't get caught.

If you are in fact being unfaithful to your partner you are hurting someone even if they do not know it today or even tomorrow. Lies are like the seam that has one thread hanging that slowly begins to unravel and work its way open until eventually there is a huge gaping hole that can only be repaired with time and effort given by someone or another. The only other alternatives left are continuing to wear it out further or tossing it aside and eventually into the dumpster.

Then there are always those who believe that what you don't know doesn't hurt you. But if you put all things into consideration there are ways it can hurt and them never know you cheated. What if you caught a STD? Or better yet, maybe your spouse or lover that you trust lives by the same rules you do and is playing around on the side as well and you are the one that catches something you didn't want to catch. Although personally if that were the case I would say you both deserve what you get but what about those innocents that are faithful and loving while you are out playing the field.

Morals are what this really comes down to. Who determines your morals and which morals are the right ones? Society only plays a small part into what is right or wrong since norms are just perceptions of proper behavior and not rules and regulations that control our actions. We must all find peace within ourselves with our decisions in this area.

I truly believe that much of the unfaithfulness in the world is due to how we are raising our children and/or how we were raised. The world I grew up in and the world today has changed massively and I find it very hard to teach my children good morals when so many people around me set bad examples.

I have been guilty of staying in an unhappy marriage because I didn't want my children hurt after I swore I wouldn't do that to my kids. Now my children were hurt more and the effects have lasted longer. Although I didn't cheat on my husband I feel that many cases of cheating does come from an unhappy marriage or relationship that one may feel trapped in because of children, money, or lack of self confidence etc.

I personally feel as though there are certain acts that technically are not sex can be just as painful to a partner to learn about. But like the author previously pointed out, there must be some place to draw the line even if this isn't a clear-cut topic.

In conclusion, I believe the author did an amazing job of putting things in their places and rationalizing even though I don't 100% agree with everything she said. Great job!