Island Fever 2: Eternity Ch. 06

Chapter 6: "Hesitation"

--------------------------------------------------



"Ever since I was a teen-ager, I have long dreamed of the chance to one day become a father. I absolutely love kids. My sister, who is a good 13 years older than me, has three children. I never got to spend a whole lot of time with her kids because I lived in New Jersey and then California while she was in Ohio, but I cherished the opportunity whenever it arose. I always wished that one day, I could have children as beautiful and as wonderful as the three my sister has."

"After Victoria left me - and broke my heart - I always felt extremely envious when I saw a husband-and-wife couple together, with their small children in tow - especially the ones who were in close proximity to my age. There was always an abundance of them at the shopping center..."

"I would look at the man and automatically be jealous of him. He's so lucky. That boy is so cute. That girl is so pretty. Why does he get to be a father, while I'm not?"

"That boy looks so happy with his new matchbox car. That girl just hugged her father and said she loves him. How fortunate and lucky is that guy? Why can't that be me?"

"These and similar thoughts would always pass throughout my mind whenever I saw children and their parents together. It was an extreme bit of jealousy on my part."

"I always knew that I would, if given the opportunity, be an excellent father. My children would grow up to be healthy and strong. I'd see to it. Along the way, they would be given the utmost amount of love and guidance. They would receive the best medical care whenever necessary. They would know the difference between right and wrong."

"Most of all, though, my children would know that their father loves them - with all of his heart."

Kristanna, who was resting comfortably on the large hammock (with Devon lounging right beside her) just outside the estate's side entrance, smiled at me after my long dialogue. "You're going to be a great Daddy, Jeremy. You're a great husband and you'll be a great Daddy. And me, a great Mommy!"

Seated upon the ground beside both Kristanna and Devon, I offered my wife a smile. That smile had not worn off since I learned that she was pregnant several hours ago. I had been riding an emotional high and wondered if I would ever come down from it. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to come down...

"Your brother, Dan, has an adopted daughter I remember," Devon commented to me. "And your other brother, Steve, has two daughters, right? He did not take either of them to the wedding in Norway, but I got to meet Dan's daughter."

"I've only seen Steve's two daughters a handful of times," I countered. "I probably would not know them if they walked by me on the street right now. In fact, I know I wouldn't. It has been five years since I saw them last."

Kristanna frowned. "It's pretty sad that so many of you - you Jeremy, as well as Devvy, Amy, even Pamela - seem to have rifts with your family members. I am just not used to that. I have great relationships with everyone in my family."

"It sure is a common theme among us for some reason," Devon pouted. "Amy doesn't get along with her parents at all. My parents want nothing to do with me. They never forgave me for what happened in high school. You, Jeremy ... your brother, Steve. And you say that you're distant from the rest of the people in your family too."

"The matchmaker software I wrote for Jeremy paired the three of you up," Kristanna mused, reaching out and running her hand throughout Devon's long-flowing blonde hair. "It is no great coincidence that the three of you - you, Jeremy and Amy - all have family problems. And it is also no great coincidence that all of you have the desire and urge to build your own family - ours - and make everything about it right."

"Everything about it already is right," Devon squealed, turning her gaze toward Kristanna and then bumping noses with her. "I love you, my sweet angel." Devon smiled and added, "But you come from a great family!"

"I never had to fill out that questionnaire that you and the other girls did before you were accepted," Kristanna answered. "I wrote the program myself and besides, I was already friends with Jeremy. Pamela also has a bad family situation. She was high on Jeremy's list, too. Pamela has been at odds with her parents since she returned to Maryland from the island back this past July."

"What about Trish and Lindsay?" Devon asked. "They come from good, close-knit families."

"Trish and Lindsay matched up strong with Jeremy in other areas," Kristanna replied. "There were 18 areas of emphasis on the questionnaire. That's why it probably took you two hours to fill it out."

"It took me three or four!" Devon huffed, giggling. "That thing was HARD! I remember some of the questions, too. Are you more - a), ideational than sensible, or b), sensible than ideational? For some of them, I really had to take awhile to think about the question itself. They were hard."

"Oh, you poor thing," Kristanna cooed, grinning.

Devon snuggled up even closer to Kristanna on the hammock and wrapped both arms around her from behind. She kissed Kristanna's neck and then patted her stomach with both hands. "You're pregnant, baby! I'm so happy for you!"

Now resting upon her side as the moonlight serenaded us from above, Kristanna looked back at Devon and gently mused, "It's about time. Jeremy and I have been trying since our wedding night. I told him I wanted to become pregnant then."

"How did you originally find out?" Devon wondered.

Kristanna smiled and answered, "I took a home pregnancy test earlier today. I've been a bit queasy the past week or so. Got sick three or four times. I thought I had a virus, you know? The only reason I took the test was because I felt fine each time after getting sick. Even so, I still thought it would come up negative. I didn't think I'd get pregnant. They've always come up negative."

"I'm on the pill, so I don't expect to get pregnant anytime soon," Devon said. "But I suppose it could still happen."

"Those pills are not completely fool-proof," Kristanna told her. "I believe they are 99.5 percent effective. That means for every 200 times you have sex, the average chance the pill has of failing is one time. And even if it fails, that still does not mean a conception will occur."

"Jeremy could increase that to 99.8 or 99.9 percent if he were to wear a condom," Devon offered, eyeing me.

"That's not going to happen," I informed her. "I hate condoms. You will never see me wearing one. Ever."

"So Jeremy already has an appointment scheduled for me at noon tomorrow with his personal physician in Lima," Kristanna murmured. "My first prenatal visit ... I feel so nervous! I wonder what will happen during it?"

"Why don't you wait until later in the week, or early next week, once we start our vacation visiting all the families in Cincinnati?" Devon wondered. "Me personally, I would feel a whole lot safer and more secure with a doctor from the United States examining me instead of one from Peru."

"My doctor in Lima is very, very good," I told Devon. "I trust him. I have been going to see him for 16 years now and counting. Plus, Kristanna needs to see a doctor as soon as possible. My doctor in Lima will take good care of her."

"As for what to expect," Devon said to Kristanna, "the doctor will confirm your pregnancy and determine how many weeks along you are. You'll take a lot of blood tests and other tests, and maybe get an ultrasound. At least that's how it was each time my sister got pregnant and had her initial prenatal examination. Her doctor would not do the ultrasound until she was eight weeks pregnant, though. I don't know what the doctor here will do. I doubt you are eight weeks along, Krissy, so it may just be some tests."

"We will take all the paperwork and results from your examination tomorrow with us to Ohio and Canada for the Christmas visits, and then Norway, and have them ready wherever and whenever you need to see a physician next," I told my wife. "You'll have your regular doctor in Norway."

"I have so many questions for the doctor tomorrow!" Kristanna exclaimed. "It will work out good, because Jeremy also got an appointment for Pamela at the hospital so she can get a follow-up to her health scare from last week." Devon made a face as Kristanna continued, "Jeremy has all of her paperwork and test results from Maryland, too, and says the doctors here can look at them and give Pamela a proper follow-up examination and prognosis."

"Pamela is NOT going to fit in with us and our lives," Devon announced, which actually brought a frown to my face. Something did rip that long-lasting smile from my face after all. "Pamela does not belong here."

Kristanna looked hurt. "How can you say that, Devvy? You know how much Pamela means to Jeremy."

"Didn't you see what happened at the waterfall yesterday, Krissy?" Devon retorted, quickly becoming upset. "You and I try to be nice to the girl. We invite her along to come with us and have a good time. You and I get into the water and start playing, and Pamela WALKS AWAY from us. Not only does Pamela walk away, but she goes back to the Jeep and stays there until we come out of the water and decide to drive back to the mansion! Pamela wanted NOTHING to do with us! She is here for one thing, and one thing only - Jeremy."

"We were kissing and feeling each other up pretty hot and heavy," Kristanna reminded her girlfriend. "Maybe Pamela was a little shy, or apprehensive, and it felt awkward to her."

Devon laughed angrily at those words. "SHY? APPREHENSIVE? Pamela has been a stripper for 12 years. She is not SHY or APPREHENSIVE." Devon made another face and ended in a most bitter tone, "Pamela has no shame whatsoever."

Again, Kristanna looked hurt. "That's a little harsh, Devvy. I'm not used to hearing you talk like this..."

"I'm sorry, but this is how I feel!" she shot back, still upset. "I remember back to when Pamela was here in the past, Krissy. Have you forgotten all of the nasty things she said about you? Pamela called you a skank with a fake accent. She told Trish and Amy that she HATED you." Devon glanced my way and continued, "She even told you, Jeremy, to take all your money and shove it straight up your ass. And she said working at the strip club was better than being here. Do you remember how much that hurt and upset you, Jeremy?"

Devon began to tremble, then shook her head in defiance. "I have no idea why Pamela is even back here to begin with. She does not belong here. She is NOT one of us."

"A lot of that stuff was said in anger, Devvy," Kristanna offered. "We had some problems and issues, yes, but I do not think Pamela actually HATED me. She was angry. You are angry now, Devvy, and you're saying things about Pamela that you do not actually mean."

"Yes I do mean them!" she exclaimed.

"Are you worried that Pamela is going to try and steal Jeremy away from us?" Kristanna asked. "You know that would never happen, honey. Jeremy has already chosen us over her several times in the past. Besides, Pamela has no grand illusions of winning Jeremy's heart and riding off into the sunset with him with a traditional, one-on-one marriage. That is the furthest thing from her mind."

"How can you be all fine and calm with Pamela here?" Devon demanded. "I mean, really, Krissy? How?"

"We are giving Pamela the opportunity to blend in and be a part of our lives," Kristanna told her in response. "If it ultimately does not work out, then Pamela can go back to Maryland and do whatever with her life there. We will know soon enough. I am not worried or scared about anything."

"Pamela does not deserve that opportunity!" Devon erupted. "GOD, KRISSY! How can you be so fine with her being here, after those horrible things she said about you earlier in the year? How are you fine with it?"

"Because I'm not a vindictive person, and I don't hold grudges," was Kristanna's simple reply.

"OH!" Devon snapped, placing both hands on her hips. "So you're saying that I'm vindictive and I hold grudges?" She became even more angry while adding, "Please forgive me for not wanting to accept someone into our lives who a), wants NOTHING to do with ANY OF US except Jeremy, and b), someone who has repeatedly bad-mouthed the woman - even said she HATED her - that I love more than any other."

"Devvy, you need to settle down."

"Pamela did not walk away from the two of you at the waterfall yesterday because she was disinterested or turned off," I said to Devon, finally breaking my silence. "You and Krissy were kissing. Pamela did not want to go get pulled into that because of her heart condition. She does not want to do anything that will put her at risk until the doctor gives her clearance to resume normal activities. Being squished between the two of you can literally put anyone into cardiac arrest. You can ask Trish if you don't believe me, Devon. She spoke to Pamela about it. Pamela was not put off; she was simply concerned for her health."

"Just give her a chance, Devvy," Kristanna mewed. "If Pamela does not fit in, she will be sent home."

Devon seemed to be a bit calmer now - perhaps because of my explanation about the waterfall incident - but she was still upset. "How is Pamela going to blend in and become one of us when she spends all of her free time alone in the library? Answer me that? Either of you?"

Kristanna shrugged her shoulders. "I am willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. Pamela left here back in July on horrible terms. I mean, HORRIBLE terms. It is probably very awkward for her right now to be back amongst the place and the people that she verbally burned down. She might even be scared, or intimidated - fearful that some of us have the type of feelings for her that you are now expressing, Devvy. I know for a fact that Pamela regrets all of the drama we had, and wishes she could go back and change things. Pamela told us that she wishes she never left here to begin with. She says she should have been more open to the lifestyle."

"I like Pamela, Devvy," Kristanna added. "I always have liked her. You never heard me say one negative thing about Pamela as a person. I never said I hated her, no matter how mean and angry she was toward me. I figured all of that was said in frustration. I never took any of it personally."

"I always thought of Pamela as being the female version of Jeremy," the 24-year-old pressed on. "Jeremy spent all those years on this island - alone and wasting away - wanting to barricade himself from the rest of humanity. Jeremy always felt that others looked at him in a negative light, but in reality that was never the case. Jeremy was lonely and even scared, but he had so much love in his heart and was aching to share it with someone ... anyone. Just aching."

"Pamela is the same way," Kristanna said. "Pamela has been a stripper for so long that it has dulled and jaded her so much that she cannot even go to the grocery store without sensing that every person in there is staring at her, and she often wonders how many of them even recognize her as that stripper from the club down the street. She does not feel that way with us. Pamela knows that no one on this island looks at her as a stripper. No one looks down on her here. For the first time in 12 years, when Pamela is around us, she actually feels at ease."

"Pamela is a good girl, Devvy. A good, clean girl. I do not care if she has been a stripper for 12 years. Pamela is caring, loving, and she is very smart. She has the IQ of a genius. She is probably smarter than all of us put together. Pamela wants to love - and be loved - and I want us to give her that opportunity one more time." Kristanna shrugged her shoulders and continued, "If she cannot blend in with us, then she will go back to her life in Baltimore. Simple as that."

Devon frowned and shook her head. "I just think you and Jeremy are too damn nice. You're too lenient. One of these days, your good nature is going to come back and bite you."

"I love Jeremy," Kristanna proclaimed, "and I trust him. I trust his judgment. I also want to make him happy. I know that Pamela being a part of our lives, and Jeremy being given the opportunity to love her, and take care of her for all eternity, would be the final piece to the puzzle for him. Pamela would be the sixth and final girl from the summer to complete the circle of our family. Camille does not count. I know how much having Pamela here with us means to Jeremy."

"But what if Pamela starts..."

"If things don't work out," Kristanna interjected, cutting Devon off in mid-sentence, "Pamela will go home. It's that simple, baby. Just give her a chance. You know how much Jeremy wants Pamela to stay. We owe it to him. But I also trust him. If Jeremy comes to the conclusion that Pamela is incapable of having a future with us, he will cut her loose. Jeremy did it in the past, and I trust he will do it again."

Devon waved a finger at Kristanna. "You're too nice."

"Can you do it?" my wife asked her. "Can you do it for me, Devvy? You're one of the most warm-hearted and loving girls I have ever met. It is a major reason why I fell in love with you from the very outset. Can you give Pamela a second chance? Do it for me. Do it for me, and Jeremy."

Devon pouted. "I don't trust Pamela."

"Do you trust me?" Kristanna retorted.

"Of course I do."

"Trust me, that you can trust Pamela," she declared. "Do it for me and Jeremy, Devvy ... please. Pamela is not going to hurt us or cause any issues. Things are different now."

"Why didn't Pamela tell us that she was worried about her heart and overdoing it yesterday at the waterfall?" Devon asked, shifting her focus toward me. "It would have cleared up a lot of anger and confusion. I was really upset about it. I felt insulted that she walked away from us."

"Maybe Pamela felt shy or apprehensive," Kristanna mused, using those two words again. "Or maybe she was scared."

"Yeah, right," Devon huffed. "No way!"

"Give her a chance, Devvy. Please ... do it for us. Trust in me and Jeremy that we are making the right decision. You know that neither of us would ever do anything to jeopardize the relationship we all have together."

Devon frowned again, but kept silent for a good 15 or 20 seconds. Finally, she spoke up, "Do you have any names in mind for your baby yet?"

"Devvy..." Kristanna insisted.

"Oh, all right," she finally gave in. "I'll do it. I'll do it for the two of you. But I SWEAR TO GOD, if this comes back and blows up in our faces, you'll never hear the end of it from me. You'll hear I told you so every single day for the absolute rest of your lives."

"It won't blow up in our faces," Kristanna promised her. "And to answer your question, I have long liked two names for my first child - Kaden Thomas if it's a boy, or Ariel Janae if it's a girl. Ariel, like the mermaid."

"Ariel Janae is a very pretty name," Devon nodded. "What do you think, Jeremy? Do you like those names?"

"I told Krissy that she gets to pick out the name of our first-born," were my words. "I like both names a lot. And to your earlier point, Devon, I will talk to Pamela about incorporating herself more into the daily activities around here. But you have to realize that no matter what, she will always spend time in the library. Pamela loves it there - just like Trish and Lindsay love the recreation room."

"How many times do you go to the recreation room, Devvy?" Kristanna asked. "Trish and Lindsay never complain about you not being there with them. Nor do you complain about either of them spending almost all of their time playing video games and arcade machines down there. It's the same thing as Pamela spending so much of her time in the library."

"No, it's not," Devon countered. "Trish and Lindsay are in the recreation room TOGETHER. Pamela is in the library all by herself. There is a huge difference."