Island Fever Ch. 06

Chapter 6: Vernacular

Looking over at Kristanna for a brief instant, I could not help but to openly smile at her. Was there anything not to appreciate about this enchanting young woman and her overall physical appearance? If so, I certainly was not aware of it.

Kristanna's graceful, tall frame, long-flowing blonde hair and pretty blue eyes helped make her into a classic beauty. Her mascara and bright lipstick seemed to make her face glow in a truly exotic fashion. Even better, the mini-dress that Kristanna wore had a plunging neckline, which offered a nice, tantalizing view of her sexy, yet humble, cleavage.

Kristanna, of course, was my friend from Norway. Blessed with a very slender and athletic body, her personality and infectious demeanor matched flawlessly. She had been a ray of sunshine in my life ever since the day that I met her some four years ago. Now, Kristanna had finally made her return to the island. I could not be any happier, either...

As we were en route from the heli-pad to the mansion in my trusty, old Jeep, I glanced over at Kristanna and smiled at her once again. "How was your trip, dear?"

"It vas long and tiring," she replied, using a Norwegian accent. "Da vedder vas so cold and brisk in Oslo last night. But I shed me yacket ven da plane reach Florida. It vas like night and day, Jeremy. Florida be steaming hot!"

I grinned at her. I simply loved to listen to this young woman talk. Her unique (and extremely sultry) voice ALWAYS made me smile. I also liked her yacket/jacket pronunciation. I sometimes wondered why Kristanna said my name correctly. Why wasn't I Yeremy, instead of Jeremy, to her? Norway was a great country to have produced a woman like this...

I was so glad that Kristanna had finally returned to the island after a three week hiatus. After all, Kristanna was the primary reason why all of the other ladies were here on the island in the first place. Without her assistance, I would still be living on this tropic of Eros all by myself.

Kristanna's travels started last evening in Oslo, Norway, where she boarded an airline flight to Frankfurt, Germany. The 23-year-old hooked up with a connector flight to Miami, Florida, and then finally made her way to Lima, Peru.

From there, she was escorted to the island in a helicopter by a pilot friend of mine (whose name was Kevin). Her family lived outside of Oslo, but Kristanna had also spent some time in California during recent years as a college student. She was majoring in - of all things - archeology.

Of course, as I continually gawked at Kristanna, I knew that the other ladies would grow to like her just as much as I did. She was just so nice and friendly, and charismatic. How could anyone not like a woman this beautiful and funny?

"Tell me about da udders," was her next comment. "Do yew have a favorite amongst da girls yet?"

"I thought I did, but I'm not so sure anymore," was my response. "If you made me pick one right now, I think it would be ... Trish. Yes, Trish. I have gone through so many of the girls this week, and flip-flopped between them so many times, that I am going to hold off for a while before I finally decide who my favorite really, truly is. At various times I have liked Pamela, Trish, Lindsay, Amy, and Devon the most. Since yesterday, at least, I am becoming more and more attracted to Trish. Yesterday was ... it was ... INCREDIBLE. The most incredible experience of my entire life, bar none."

Kristanna smiled at me. "Vat happened yesterday?"

"Trish helped me take Lindsay's virginity."

"Oh," Kristanna responded, looking a bit surprised.

"I still cannot believe that we brought a virgin to the island with us, Krissy. Lindsay is so sweet and innocent, and so young! She reminds me of you when you were 19."

"I vas not a virgin ven ve meet each udder back den."

"Yes, but you were sweet and innocent." Kristanna smiled at my words as I added, "You still are - just like Lindsay."

"But yew like Trish da most now?"

I nodded my head. "Yes, right now. But that is subject to change. It can change from minute-to-minute, actually. Of the girls, I think Devon has the biggest crush on me. In fact, I think that goes without saying."

"Ahh yes, I remember Devon from da computer," Kristanna mused. "Devon is da pretty blonde from Pennsylvania, no?" I nodded at her as she continued, "From da pictures on yewr computer, I liked Devon da most. She da prettiest. I have to see dem in person, dough, to be honestly sure. So ... let me get dis straight. Yew like all of da girls here? Vait a minute ... yew name every girl on da island except Camille?"

I shook my head in a painful manner. "I do not know if I really like Camille as a person. She has said some really hurtful things about not only me, but a few of the others as well. In her defense, though, Camille and I haven't had the chance to sit down and really talk with each other yet. Most of my time has been spent with Pamela, Amy and Devon. I just had a three-some with Trish and Lindsay yesterday. I cannot emphasize enough how incredible it was, Krissy. I had never been with a virgin before. Well, you know that."

"Lindsay is da Bible girl if I am not mistaken? She be da one voo really devote herself to its teachings, ya? Da one vid da aspirations of one day getting into da ministry? Yust like her papa? Follow in his footsteps?"

I nodded my head. "Yes, that would be Lindsay."

"Pamela and Amy ... vat are dey like?"

"I really like Pamela a lot, Kristanna. And Amy is just the way that the computer program predicted she would be, judging from the questionnaires we sent out many months ago."

"Amy da slut puppy!"

Keeping my eyes focused on the road in front of me as I drove the Jeep, I told her, "Yes, you can say that."

"I am sorry I could not arrive here earlier," Kristanna frowned, deciding to change the subject. "Had problems vid da passport. Had to get me passport straightened out first."

"It's okay, sweetheart." I just loved that accent! "It wasn't your fault. I'm just glad that you are finally back with me. I always miss you when you leave."

"I missed yew too! Du inviterer alle disse kvinnene her for å være med deg siden du leter etter kjærligheten. Men jeg elsker deg mer en noen av dem kan noen gang komme til å gjøre. Jeg bare håpte at du kunne innse det."

I shook a menacing, but playful finger at her and grinned, "Don't you go Norwegian on me, sweetheart. You know I cannot understand a word you say - and it drives me crazy."

"But it be fun," she giggled. "And yew crazy anyvay..."

"That's not very nice," I scolded her in a teasing way.

"How is Blakken?" Kristanna inquired, referring to her horse here on the island. There were a pair of horses in the stables (Blakken and Smokin' Satin Bars (my horse)). Blakken is some sort of Norwegian name, but I do not know if it has any special meaning or not. Knowing Kristanna the way I do, though, it probably means something extremely funny.

"Blakken is fine," I responded. "I have been taking good care of both of the horses in the stable."

"And vat about Vincent Van Goat?"

I laughed at the mere mention of Kristanna's pet goat. Now that was a cute name for an animal. "He is fine, too. I saw Trish and Lindsay playing around with him on Tuesday. All that goat of yours does is eat, drink, sleep and play."

Kristanna tilted her head to the side. "Bow Vow Meow?"

Bow Wow Meow! Now THAT is a name - for a cat - which I find to be totally hilarious. "Just fine, dear. I am sure that Bow Wow Meow will be happy to see you again. Before you ask, Hogglesworth the Pig is perfectly fine, too. And those two geckos you have - Geico and Gonzo - are plugging along. I had them out for a while earlier, playing with them. Jack Rabbit and Bugs Bunny are the same as always, too."

"Let us not forget Da Lambinator!"

I laughed and shook my head at Kristanna because of her quirky attitude. "The Lambinator ... I had to pay for a veterinarian to come out here from the mainland two weeks ago." Kristanna suddenly looked frightened as I continued, "I could tell that Lambinator was sick and not feeling good. The veterinarian took a look and said he had an internal parasite. He gave me some medicine, or drenches as I think he called them, and told me to administer them to Lambinator every day for ten days. Apparently, it worked. Lambinator is acting like his old self again."

Relieved, Kristanna took a deep breath. "Dat is good. Yew had me vorried dare for a minute. Yew know how much all da animals mean to me, Jeremy. Lambinator is da oldest - age eight - of all da pets I have on da island. Are yew sure dat he is feeling better? Are yew sure dat he is cured?"

"The doctor told me what trouble signs to look for," I answered. "I have not seen any of them pop-up yet. You know more about sheep than I do, Krissy. So, you are very welcome to take a look at him once we get to the mansion."

She nodded her head. "Yes. I vill look at him."

"Lambinator is, as always, in the fenced-in area outside with Vincent Van Goat. They have been getting along good."

Needless to say, Kristanna was an animal lover. She had grown up on a humongous farm in Norway which was home to a wide variety of animals. Over the four years that she and I had been friends, Kristanna had persuaded me into bringing a large collection of animals and pets to the island. Although they all lived here and I was the one who took care of them more often than not, Kristanna still considered all of these pets to be her very own. I had no problem with that.

"Bow Vow Meow, yew better be nice to me pussy ... cat."

I snickered and shook my head because of Kristanna's playful nature. "I am ALWAYS nice to your pussy ... cat."

"Have yew been taking Yack Rabbit and Bugs Bunny out of dare bunny condo so dey can get dare daily exercise?"

"Of course," I nodded. "I take the rabbits out of their cage and let them rumble throughout my bedroom for an hour or two each and every day. I also ordered them some new chew toys, and they seem to love them. Keeps them occupied."

"Dat is good," Kristanna surmised. "Yew alvays do a great yob ven looking after all me pet animals here, Jeremy."

"Thank you, dear."

"No ... dank yew, Jeremy," she countered, grinning. "Yew do a vunderful yob vid dem. Hey ... did yew buy ATV off-road vehicles for all of da girls like I suggested yew should?"

I smiled at her. "You bet I did. You gave me a big list and I bought everything on it two weeks ago. Nothing was left out. No expense was spared. Not for these girls."

"Vat about me high score on da pinball machine? Is it still dare? Or did yew beat it yet?" Kristanna giggled at her own words. "Vell, of course yew beat it..."

I laughed at her. "You still have your high score on your favorite pinball machine in the recreation room. I haven't beaten it yet. You are right, though. I beat other things."

"Like yewr cock..." Kristanna chided.

"You're a naughty girl. A very naughty girl."

"So yew are happy?" she asked in that unique voice, as I drove her to the mansion in my Jeep on this Friday evening. "Yew are happy vid all da girls yew bring to da island? Is all da trouble dat ve vent true really vurd it?"

"These five days have been the best five days of my entire life," I told her in response. "But things are even better now, because you're back with me." I grasped the blonde's left hand with my right and brought it to my lips, then offered it a tender kiss. "You make me happy, dear. And yes, everything was worth it. Well worth it."

"I go avay for one day and miss yew, Jeremy," Kristanna grinned. "But tree vull veeks! Ven I come here, dough, I miss me family too much. I need a happy medium!"

I smiled at her and said, "I hope you are hungry, dear. We're only 30 minutes away from dinner-time. I even got Louisa to fix one of your favorite meals - lutefisk."

"Oooooh, lutefisk!" she exclaimed, referring to Norwegian cod soaked and pickled in a lye solution. "Had some lutefisk two nights ago but happy for anudder today. Lutefisk pizza! Yew ordered lefse? I like dat, too."

"Of course. You know Louisa will fix whatever we ask her to - even your crazy food. So are you hungry? Have you had anything at all to eat today?"

"Momma fixed vafler before I left." She pouted and added, "But dat vas 24 hours ago. Flight lasted forever. Oslo, Frankfurt, Miami, 14 hours. Miami, Lima, six hours. I did have two hot dogs at Miami airport, dough. Big vieners!"

I laughed at her. "You like big wieners?"

"Da bigger, da better," she grinned.

"What is vafler?"

"Vaffles and sour cream. Yum-yum. But no food on da airplane ride. Airplane food, yuck-yuck."

Kristanna and her words never failed to make me smile. "You must be starving, then. We'll get some food in you." Laughing, I brought her hand to my lips and kissed it again. "I'm so glad you're back where you belong - on this island."

"Jeg hører til her med deg, gift."

"Kristanna!..."

-

Dinner-time on the island was set for 7:00pm each and every evening, and tonight would be no exception. All of the ladies were required to be in the large dining room at that time, when Louisa, the 76-year-old housekeeper, would serve up the most scrumptious food ever known to mankind.

Tonight, it was no different. Louisa had fixed all of us a huge, wide-ranging buffet of foods. How could anyone go wrong with a selection of marinated chicken to choose from, as well as freshly baked turkey breast, Angus rib eye steaks, pork sausage patties, lasagna, wild rice and various seafood and salad dishes? If anyone were to make it to dessert, Louisa had even prepared a raspberry chiffon pie.

As all of us - myself and the seven ladies - enjoyed our delicious meal, we got better acquainted with each other. Our conversation was quite lively and included many various topics. Kristanna, who seemed to be a big hit with everyone due to her accent and overall friendliness, conveyed some stories to those who were interested about life in Norway.

Kristanna spoke highly of the 300-acre farm that she lived on with her parents, saying it was one of the most profitable markets in all of Norway. The farm even featured a bakery, an ice cream parlor and a petting zoo for young children.

There was a six hour difference between Norway (located in the Central European Time Zone) and the island (Eastern Time Zone), Kristanna told us. The average temperature for this time of year (June) there was 70 degrees Fahrenheit, but it had dipped down to 48 last night before her departure. In fact, Norway rarely topped the 75 degree mark all year.

Here on the island, of course, it was winter in this part of the world (in the tropics). But winter here meant 70-75 degree weather, so it was not much different than what she left behind in Norway (although the past couple of days had been somewhat humid). The hottest months here were January, February and March (with average temperatures of about 80). I considered those months to be the dog days of summer.

At the dinner table, Kristanna even convinced Trish to try a bite of her precious lutefisk. Trish, who claimed to enjoy fish in general, said lutefisk had a strange taste. In other words, she did not like it. If there is one thing that I have learned from having Kristanna as my friend over the past several years, it is that people in her native country have a very unique and exotic appetite. I did not care all that much for Norwegian food myself. Her people did eat a lot of seafood, though, and that was probably one reason why Kristanna was so healthy, and in such excellent shape.

Pamela told everyone that she was simply amazed with not only the beauty of the island and its surroundings, but also the ocean itself. It was crystal-clear, which was vastly different from the ocean in Maryland - where Pamela resided. She could not believe how beautiful the water was.

Camille claimed that she had the most boring job in the whole world - being a title processor for a real estate agency in the San Diego area. Camille told everyone at the table that the opportunity to get away from her job and spend six weeks on an island paradise such as this was something that she simply could not pass up. The only redeeming thing about her job, Camille explained, was that she got along with all of her co-employees. Some were even close friends. Other than that, though, she was happy to get away from it.

Lindsay went onto share a story about the supermarket in Ohio where she was employed as a cosmetics clerk. The young woman said that customers - of all ages - were always trying to flirt with her. Gee, I said to myself. I wonder why? Lindsay was the epitome of sweet innocence, and everything that an 18-year-old girl should be. Any man who was older (like me (39)) would love to get his clutches into her.

Devon had no job to speak of, simply because she had quit her position as a project manager for a large corporation in Pennsylvania in order to come to the island. Basically, Devon told her counterparts here at the dinner table the same thing she had said to Camille during their first night here (when I eavesdropped on them by way of the voyeur room).

Devon felt that she was being cheated and stepped on at her job, as her boss always took the credit for the 80 hours (and sometimes more) of hard work she put in every week. Even though Devon claimed that no one at the company worked harder and more diligently than she did, she said that it seemed as if a promotion would never come her way.

Trish had the slimmest of leads in the race for who was my favorite lady from the entire group. She barely edged out Pamela, Lindsay, Amy and Devon. I found myself attracted to the Canadian after having witnessed the tender and loving manner in which she helped me take Lindsay's virginity. Go ahead and accuse me of being a hopeless romantic, but I felt like wrapping my arms around Trish's wondrous body and never letting go because she was such a warm, compassionate person. Indeed, she was the coolest chick I had ever met.

Kristanna was very observant when she stated earlier that Camille was the only woman whom I failed to mention when speaking about potential favorites. Suffice it to say, but I did not particularly care for some of the things Camille had said since her arrival on the island.

Camille tried to convince Devon that I had nothing but evil intentions in mind with the whole island concept. Camille was brutally direct and blunt (to be the point of being nasty) when she suggested that Trish should sit back and watch her give a good, hard fucking to Lindsay at the water basin two days ago. What made those words downright despicable was the fact that Lindsay, still a virgin at the time, was also there with them. It was wrong of Camille to say that in her presence. Just plain wrong.

Still, being the very forgiving person that I am, Camille one day emerging from the pack as my favorite was not out of the realm of possibility. For that to happen, however, Camille would need to show a very different attitude toward not only me, but the others as well.

I found dinner-time to be very fascinating and insightful on this warm June evening. I loved to listen to any and all information concerning the girls. I wanted to know every little detail about their lives. I considered the entire group - even Camille - to be my private flock of angels.

"Tell us about your job, Amy," Trish said to the red-head. "You're not a pornstar, or Internet sex model ... are you?"

"No, but maybe I should be," Amy replied. "Sounds better than what I am - a Professional Nourishment Provider."

Many of the ladies appeared to be dumbfounded for a brief moment. "What was that?" Trish asked, finally speaking up. "Professional Nourishment Provider? What the heck is that?"

"Oh..." Amy said, matter-of-factly. "Some people refer to my job as a Nutritional Transport Engineer. But you know what? I like Professional Nourishment Provider much better. I think it has a better ring to it."