Island Fever Ch. 14

Chapter 14: "Confession"

Amidst a sea of green foliage, blue ocean, darkened volcanoes and crimson landscapes, Devon and I were enjoying the views as we hiked along the southeastern corner of the island. The natural fauna and flora, waterfalls, basins and bay truly made this particular area a tropical haven.

Devon, who had been holding my hand for the better part of an hour as we strolled along at quite the leisurely pace, squeezed it a bit tighter and commented, "You and this island of yours, dear Jeremy, have helped all of my fantasies become a reality. When I came to this island two weeks ago, my sole experience in sex was limited to two people - both of whom were guys. There was my boyfriend from high school, Tim, and my long-time boyfriend in later years, Barrett. Now, add six girls to that list, as well as yet another man - you - in just two short weeks. Not only is the sex and togetherness a refreshing change for me, but everyone here is so incredibly nice and friendly. Everyone here seems to get along so good. Sometimes, I fear that I'll wake up and everything that has happened to me these past two weeks will be just a dream."

I brought her hand to my lips and tenderly kissed it. "I have the same fear, Devon. But I think in the past couple of days, I have started to realize that this is NOT a dream. It is very real. And as you know, there are four more weeks before you and the other ladies are scheduled to return home. I can only imagine what will happen in those four weeks. I look forward to them but, at the same time, I wish they would never come. I don't like having to say good-bye."

Devon smiled. "You like me being honest with you, right? You want me to open up and be truthful with you?"

"Of course."

Devon smiled again. "I think that you and Krissy are the two best things that have ever happened to me."

"Really?"

"You know that I am attracted to you," Devon murmured, her voice sounding a bit coy and reserved. "I ... I really like you as a person, Jeremy. I hope you know that..."

"I hope you know that I like you as a person too, dear," I countered, my own voice thoughtful and sincere.

"So the feeling is mutual?"

"Yes," I nodded. "Very much so. You should know that."

Devon grinned and moaned. "Krissy ... Krissy has been a dream-come-true for me. Not only is she the sexiest woman that I have ever seen - without question - but Krissy is so charismatic and outgoing. She is so incredibly fun to be around. That girl always has me laughing."

Figuring that Kristanna was eavesdropping on us right now with the help of the voyeur room, I took a deep breath and smiled inwardly. Knowing how highly she thought of Devon, Kristanna would be most happy to hear those kind words. It would probably make her day. In fact, I knew it would.

"Kristanna really likes you," I told Devon. "Whenever I I speak to her about you, I hear three specific words a lot."

"What three specific words?" Devon asked, curious.

I chuckled. "Dat sexy ding."

Devon laughed as well. "Her accent sounds so exotic. It is another thing that I really like about her. But at the same time, it also makes me laugh. You know, the way she butchers the English language from time to time. Call me crazy, but her accent sounds wildly exaggerated to me. I guess maybe I should not think of it as being funny, but I just cannot help it..."

"Don't worry about that," I insisted, smiling. "Kristanna wants you to laugh. She wants you to think of her as being funny. Kristanna has been that way for all the time that I have known her. She loves making people laugh."

"Being around someone who constantly makes you laugh and feel so good inside can really make you forget a lot of your troubles in life," Devon commented. "I think that may be the thing about Krissy that I am attracted to the most - her charisma, and her energy, zest. The way she makes me feel as a person ... you know? Whenever I am with her, I seem to totally forget about my life back home in Pennsylvania."

"Why would want you want to forget about your life?"

Devon hesitated for a brief moment, then frowned. "Well, there are many reasons. For starters, I already told you what happened at my old job. I was a project manager at [Company Name]. I gave my heart and soul to that place. I worked late every single day. I worked weekends, off days, even during my vacation. But I saw people with half of my experience pass me by. They got promoted ahead of me, got to work on the bigger projects and thus, made more money. Worst of all, my boss took all of the credit for all of the work that I did. I think that is the main reason why I was passed over for a promotion so much. My boss liked all of the extra effort that I put into the job. It made him look better in the end because he took all the credit. If I was promoted, chances are I would have had a different boss. Then, the old boss would no longer have me around." She shook her head and ended, "It was just so frustrating..."

"But you quit that job," I remarked. "You said you quit working there in order to come to the island."

"I'll be unemployed when I go back home," Devon fretted. Don't go home, I said inwardly. Stay with me on the island, Devon, and all of your worries in life would just fade away. I would personally see to it.

Of course, I felt the same way for most (if not all) of the other ladies as well. I wanted all of them (with the possible exception of Camille (she and I have yet to really click yet)) to stay with me here on the island. I had confidence that I could make the entire group happy. But, I knew that was a pipe dream. It was not going to happen.

"What will I do then?" Devon added. "Will another company hire me after I just quit and walked out at my old job?"

"If you go home in four weeks, Devon, you will be either $100,000 or $500,000 richer," I reminded her. "That will be your compensation for spending these six weeks with me here on the island. You may not have to worry about finding a job for a good, long while. You will be able to take your time, pick and choose what is best for you. There is nothing for you to worry about. Absolutely nothing."

"You've got a point there," she mused, her voice gentle. "I forgot for awhile that you were actually paying us to be here. You know, I agree with Trish. Trish says that we should be the ones paying you, Jeremy - not the other way around. We are living in the lap of luxury on a beautiful island. This is a six week vacation for us. We should be paying you, Jeremy. Most people don't get a free vacation, then also get paid for taking it. I feel so fortunate."

"I feel fortunate that you and the other girls decided to give me six weeks of your lives," I told her. "And in the end, I will be more than happy to set all of you up in terms of finances. I want to know that all of you are well taken care of and provided for even after you leave the island. That is the thing about me, sweetheart. If someone is good to me, I do whatever I can to be good back to them - but only a hundred times more. I've always been that way."

"What happens if one of us doesn't want to leave?" Devon said, which was obviously her most bold statement to date. She glanced downward for a moment, then made eye contact with me and murmured, "What happens if one or maybe even two of us would rather stay here on the island with you?" I smiled as she concluded, "Would you be interested in that?"

"Of course I would be interested," was my response. "I would like that very much. Do you have anyone in mind?"

"What do you mean?"

"Anyone specific who would like to stay here with me?"

Devon smiled at me. "Well ... there is this ONE GIRL on the island who I think would maybe love to stay with you."

"Oh yeah? Who is it?"

"I cannot tell you her name," Devon grinned, obviously teasing me. "But I can say that she is from Pennsylvania. She is blonde, very sweet and fun-loving, has a really big heart ... is even a little fun and spunky. I hear that she is crazy about you, Jeremy. Totally crazy ... maybe even in love with you. I bet that she would like to stay with you."

I grinned and asked, "Her name start with a D?"

Devon nodded. "Yes, it most definitely does."

I guided Devon over to a large boulder here in the forest and motioned for her to take a seat upon it. When she did, I plopped myself down right next to her. I then clutched her left hand with my right and offered it a tender, loving kiss. "Let me be honest with you as well, Devon. Out of all of the girls that Kristanna and I brought here, you are my favorite. It is close between you and Pamela, but I give you the edge. I like this girl. I like that girl. But in the end, Devon, it always seems that I find myself coming back to you."

"Really?" Devon asked, somewhat surprised. "I thought for awhile that you were starting to focus upon Lindsay."

"Lindsay is a sweetheart," I nodded. "If I was her age, I would do whatever I could to hook up with her. Problem is, I'm not her age. I am 21 years older. Lindsay is 18, while I am 39. What I want and what Lindsay wants right now out of life are two entirely different things."

"Oh?"

I nodded my head once again. "I am looking for a true, long-term commitment. I am looking to get married and start a family. Lindsay is too young for that if you ask me. She needs to date a variety of people before even thinking about settling down. That is the vibe I get from her, at least. The island has opened a new door in her life. You know, she was a virgin until a week-and-a-half ago. I think Lindsay is enjoying herself now more than ever before. She will go through an absolute ton of boyfriends and girlfriends before the thought of settling down even remotely crosses her mind. I have no problem with that."

Devon took a deep breath and shook her head. "I guess I am different that way. When I was Lindsay's age, I had already thought about and strongly considered marriage. I wanted to marry Tim, my boyfriend from high school. I kind of scared him off, though, because of it. He was not at that point in his life yet. Most 17- or 18-year-old kids aren't. I was, though. I guess that I have always wanted to get married. Nothing ever worked out, though."

"I wanted to get married at an early age too," I told Devon. "I almost did, in fact. I made it all the way to the chapel with my ex-fiancee, Victoria, at age 19. She was 19 too." I shook my head and sighed, "She backed out at the very last second. I ... I never saw her again."

Devon's eyes narrowed. "What happened? You told me about your ex-fiancee leaving you two weeks ago, but did not want to go into any real details about it. You said that you felt like waiting a little while and getting to know me a bit more before telling me exactly what happened." Devon shrugged her shoulders. "If you feel like sharing, Jeremy, I would love to listen. I don't mind if it's bad..."

I hesitated for a brief moment, then smiled. Yes, perhaps this was the right time. I had held back from talking about Victoria with the likes of Pamela and Trish, as well as Devon herself, in the past two weeks whenever the subject came up. Now, however, I felt a certain sense of ease. I loved being open and honest about myself, and talking about problems. Although what happened with Victoria was the most traumatic experience of my life (bar none), I thought it would do me a lot of good to revisit the hurt and talk about it with Devon. Aside from Kristanna (who knew everything about me), Devon seemed like the perfect person for me to share this with.

"I moved to California from New Jersey in 1992 at the age of 18," I began. "My father was transferred in his job. This was well before I stumbled into all of the money and riches that I now have. I got a job on the beach washing and polishing boats. I loved the beach, the ocean. Not too long after I moved and settled in California, I met a girl. Her name was Victoria. I met her, believe it or not, on the beach one day. I fell in love with her right away."

"We dated and every single day, I fell deeper and deeper in love with her. She was the same age as me. I thought that everything was perfect between us. I really had no reason to think otherwise. Six months after meeting her, I proposed. Victoria accepted. We were to be married that summer and, as I envisioned it, spend the rest of our lives together. Get married, have kids, grow old together and then, eventually, die together. That is what I wanted."

"Why didn't she marry you?" Devon inquired, curious. "I mean, you're the nicest and most humble man that I have ever met. I don't see how anyone could have let you get away..."

"Getting there," I nodded. "We were to be married on July 9, 1993. Both of us were 19 then. We did not have a whole lot of money, but I thought we had enough to live together and survive even in the tough California economy. As long as Victoria and I were together, I thought that we could conquer anything. We would always pull through."

I paused, then took a deep breath and shook my head. I even found myself having to suppress a tear which nearly trickled from my left eye. This had always been a very delicate subject for me to discuss with anyone.

"All of my family was there. They had all flown out to California to take part in my wedding. As I have told you in the past, Devon, most of my inner family is living in and around Cincinnati. Even my great grandmother made it out to Los Angeles. She was age 95 at the time."

"Wedding day came and everything seemed perfect. I still remember it like it was yesterday. Victoria walked down the aisle on her father's arm. She looked so ... radiant. So incredibly beautiful in her wedding dress. So ... perfect."

"Was she a blonde?"

"Yes," I replied, puzzled. "Why?"

Devon giggled, flipping her hair. "You seem to like us blondes. Of the seven girls here, five of us are blondes." She giggled again. "Sorry ... please continue."

"We went through all of the wedding rituals and speeches, the lines, up until the point where the minister asked us if we took each other to be husband and wife, respectively. I said yes ... I do." I sniffed my nose and went on, "Victoria hesitated, then started crying. I had no idea what was wrong. Then, she said that she could not marry me."

Devon looked at me rather intently. "Why?"

"Because she was in love with someone else." Now, I had to control my emotions. I could have easily broke down and started crying here, but I wanted to stay strong in front of Devon. "Victoria screamed that in front of everyone. I will never, ever forget it. The whole chapel heard her say that she was in love with someone else."

"Who?" Devon exclaimed, her voice loud and shrill. "Who was she in love with?"

I shook my head and let out a hurtful, begrudging laugh. "Her best friend. Mindy ... a girl."

Devon looked stunned. "SHE LEFT YOU FOR ANOTHER GIRL?"

I nodded my head and exhaled sharply. "Yes. She screamed out Mindy's name in front of everyone when I demanded to know who this person was. Then, Victoria ran out of the chapel with Mindy, who was supposed to be the maid of honor. They went off into the night together." I sighed and continued, "Everyone ... everyone in the chapel was ... was ... staring ... at me. They knew ... they knew that my fiancee had dumped me at the altar ... for ... for another woman." Devon reached out and clutched my wrist as I concluded, "Do you ... know how ... incredibly HUMILIATING ... that was ... for me?"

Visibly upset and shaken, Devon seemed as if she was about to cry. "I'm sorry, Jeremy. I ... I don't know what to say. That's ... it's ... it's terrible!" Devon vigorously shook her head. "It must have been awful for you!"

"My great grandmother - the 95-year-old - died two weeks later," I frowned, my mouth twitching. "Her last memory of me is getting left at the altar because Victoria was in love with another woman. Think of that ... that is my great grandmother's final memory of me. That is awful in and of itself. Victoria simply loved Mindy more than she loved me. Apparently, they had been lovers for several years. I ... I had no idea." I sighed again. "I had no idea..."

Now clutching my right wrist with both of her hands, Devon soon tossed her arms around my shoulders and offered me a very warm and thoughtful embrace here on the large boulder in the forest. "I'm so sorry, Jeremy. Oh God ... I cannot even begin to imagine how that hurt you."

"It destroyed me..."

Devon hugged me tighter. "How could this girl agree to marry you and then screw around behind your back in secret?"

"I have been trying to figure that out for the past 20 years, Devon," I breathed. "It still affects me today. There isn't a day that goes by when I don't think about Victoria. I ... I never got an answer, or an explanation, from her. I went to her house the next day, but her father threatened me. He said that Victoria did not want to see me ever again. He told me to leave and never come back. I kept demanding to see her - I thought I was owed an explanation from her - but soon her father threatened me with a lawsuit. He said I was harassing her. Being young and naive, that was it for me. I stopped trying to confront Victoria. I was too afraid of being taken to court."

Devon pulled back and looked into my eyes. She felt so sorry for me that there were actual tears in her own eyes. "And you never saw this girl again?"

I shook my head. "No. Sent my life into a downward spiral. I was so embarrassed, so humiliated. My whole family was there and witnessed it all. My friends, people that I worked with, went to school with. It affected me so much. It affected me for years. Changed the type of person I am. Made me scared of other people."

"Scared?"

"I was scared to get close to anyone for the next several years," I explained. "I was afraid to fall in love, or become attached, and then get hurt again. You will never understand, Devon, just how much Victoria destroyed me."

Still upset, Devon simply shook her head in response.

"The person who really helped bring me back and restore my confidence in not only myself, but others as well, was Kristanna. I met her four years ago over in Peru when she was on vacation there with her family." For the first time in several minutes, the smile that I flashed Devon's way was totally pure and genuine. It was full of good vibrations. "Kristanna has helped me so much throughout the years. Even though she usually only visits me for one week every month, Kristanna has helped me so much. She is a Godsend to me."

"Little by little, Kristanna helped bring me out of the shell that my life had become. After I developed and then sold my Internet businesses, I basically bought a big chunk of land in the middle of nowhere - this island - and shielded myself from the rest of humanity." Frowning, I shook my head and continued, "Victoria affected me that much. I was ... I was so afraid of being hurt again that I ... I preferred to stay here all by my lonesome. That way, no one could hurt me. But th-the loneliness ... it got t-to be ... unbearable."

Devon reached out with both arms and pulled me into her embrace. I wrapped my own arms around her body as well. The warmth generated as a result seemed to provide my body and soul with a definite source of strength and resolve. Again, I was holding back the tears. The last thing that I wanted to do was break down in front of Devon.

"You're not going to be lonely anymore," Devon proclaimed, rubbing an open hand over and across my shoulder blades in a repeated motion. "Not if I have anything to say about it, at least." The 27-year-old angel from Pennsylvania ended our mutual embrace and offered me a deep, insightful expression. "How long have you lived on this island again?"

"17 years."

"You have lived on this island in near isolation for 17 years? A visit from Kristanna once a month? A visit or two from your family every year? That has been the extent of your interaction with civilization for 17 years?"