Island Fever Ch. 27

Chapter 27: Resolution

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Pamela took a deep breath and sighed rather dejectedly. "What happened between us, Jeremy? What went wrong?"

Confused, I tilted my head at her. "What do you mean?"

"You and I were as hot of an item as any two people could possibly be during my first couple of days on the island," Pamela began. "I remember the way that you talked to me ... the way that you treated me. You made me feel so special, Jeremy. For those few days, at least, I was on cloud nine. I was never happier in my whole, entire life. Like, ever."

"I know that the circumstances are very different now," I told her. "But the opportunity for you to feel that way once again is still there, sweetheart. It always has been. And it always will be. You do know that, right?"

She shook her head at me. "Once I thought everything was perfect between you and I, you and Devon were suddenly a hot item. I see you spending so much time with her, and I wonder to myself why you are not spending it with me instead. What did I do wrong? DID I do anything wrong? Did I do anything to make you like me less? I don't think I did."

Pamela shook her head yet again. "Do you remember our first time alone together, Jeremy? It was in the library. Remember? It was AMAZING. I was ready to marry you right then and there, and run off with you into the wild blue yonder. I was already that much in love. I never felt so strong about someone, so fast. I was under the impression you felt the same way about me, but apparently you didn't."

"First I was competing with Devon," she continued. "That was hard enough. But then, all of a sudden and totally out of the blue, you are engaged to Kristanna." Pamela laughed, then tossed both hands in the air and gave me an exaggerated look. "I mean ... really? I know Kristanna is your friend and all. I do. But you want to marry her now instead?" Clearly agitated, Pamela shrugged her shoulders and asked, "What did I do wrong along the way? What happened to what you and I were building together those first few days?"

"What are you talking about?" was my only response. I was a bit confused (not to mention perplexed) as to where Pamela was going with this long diatribe of hers.

"US!" she exclaimed. "You say that you care about me. You want to be with me. You make references to commitment and marriage with me. Then, you are chasing after Devon. I find myself competing with her for your attention. Then two weeks later, you and Kristanna are suddenly engaged and, not only that, but Devon is getting involved too and she will ultimately make it a three-way marriage. Did I do something wrong, Jeremy, to make you lose sight of me the way you did?" Now, Pamela was very upset. "Because if I did, I sure as HELL would like to know what it was."

"You did nothing wrong," I answered, my voice hollow.

"It was hard enough to have to compete with Devon for your attention at the beginning," Pamela frowned. "It was even harder with Kristanna constantly in your ear, telling you how sweet and wonderful Devon is, and how she is such a perfect fit for you. But now? NOW? There is no way I could compete with them both. I think I have a lot to offer, but I'm just one person. I cannot compete with both of them. It shows, too. You have all but left me behind, in the dust."

"Who said you had to compete?" I asked her, feeling hurt and distressed. I never thought I would have a discussion such as this with Pamela. "You've been offered an equal spot in the relationship. Kristanna, Devon, myself ... we all want you to stay here for the long haul, and be a part of our lives. We want you to be a permanent fixture."

"I know about the theme of your island, Jeremy." Now, Pamela was seething. "I told you from the very beginning that I had no problem with you spending time with the other girls. I was not going to become jealous at all, even though I wanted to pursue a monogamous, one-on-one relationship with you. But come on, Jeremy! You tell me that you want to be with me ... care about me. But the next thing I know, you've got your head shoved up Devon's ass and you're following her around like a lost puppy." My eyes narrowed in displeasure at that comment as she continued, "And THEN ... oh yes ... the Norwegian princess, Kristanna, finally tells you of her true feelings - AND her fake accent, I must remind you - and all is well in the world of Jeremy. You've found your SOUL-MATE!"

"I'm not quite sure what you're trying to tell me."

Pamela folded her arms and glared at me. "Got a wedding date picked out yet?"

"No, not yet..."

"Kristanna had this whole thing planned ALL ALONG," Pamela sniped. "Her favorite girl was Devon. Kristanna fell in love with Devon from the very outset. She made sure that you fell in love with Devon too - even if it meant kicking me to the curb in the process. Then, Kristanna saw her opportunity and she pounced on it like a hungry lion. She snapped you up, Jeremy. Now instead of a wife - which is all you've ever really wanted, remember - you get to have TWO. And Kristanna gets what she wanted all along, which is to be married to you with some pussy on the side."

"You make Krissy out to be all vindictive and cunning," I shot back, upset myself. "Both you and I know that isn't true, Pamela." Some pussy on the side? That was how Pamela thought Kristanna viewed Devon? Did she not realize just how much Kristanna and Devon were in love with each other? All she had to do was watch them interact for five minutes. Not only was it pure magic, but it was also true love.

"The circumstances were unique, I agree, but nothing Krissy did was cold or calculated," I added, continuing to defend my fiancee. "Things just sort of happened a certain way, and we find ourselves here today. But I ... I don't ... I don't understand. You. We want YOU to be part of the relationship, Pamela. We want you to be part of our lives. I want you to be a part..."

"I may sound bitter and jealous, but I'm not," Pamela told me. "I'm really not. Nor am I saying one bad word about Kristanna ... or even Devon, for that matter. You may think I am, but I am not. I have nothing against them as people. They did ... they did what they had to do ... to win your affection. It took two of them, though, to beat me out." Pamela took a deep breath and then proclaimed, "What I am ultimately saying, however, is that I do not want to be a part of the little harem that you want to develop."

"Harem?" I was dumbfounded now. "HUH?"

"What happened to us, Jeremy?" she reiterated. "You and I were supposed to be together. The lonely recluse who has spent two decades in hiding, and the equally lonely stripper who lost her faith in the rest of humanity long ago. We were supposed to come together, Jeremy, and make each other happy. We were supposed to pick each other up, dust each other off, and then ride off into the sunset together. We were supposed to have babies and grow old together. It was our destiny. So, what happened? Why did our relationship fail?"

"It is still there if you want it, Pamela."

"With Kristanna and Devon involved, too?" she huffed.

"If we could work everything out and the four of us were in agreement about everything ... yes," I answered. "But it seems as if you have some sort of vendetta against Krissy and Devon. So, right now, I doubt things would work out."

"I do not have a vendetta against them," Pamela insisted. "Both of them are really nice, good girls. They are real sweethearts. I just ... I don't look at them the way you do, Jeremy. They are beautiful girls and yes, I admit, there is a physical attraction for me there. I would be lying if I said there wasn't. But I have no emotional attraction toward either of them. I do not want to settle into a relationship where there is no emotional attachment. Plus, I just do not believe in the idea of three- or four-way relationships. A girl would have to be really special for me to even consider such a thing. I don't view Kristanna or Devon as special. In fact, the ONLY girl that I could myself sharing you with in a long-term relationship is Amy."

"Amy?" I countered, surprised.

"Yes ... Amy," Pamela confirmed. "Amy has been my friend and had my back since day one. I trust her."

"You care about me, and I care about you," were my words. "Give it some time, Pamela. Give it time. It might take a few weeks, maybe a month or two, or maybe even a year. But give it some time. I think you could start to develop those feelings and emotions that you speak of, and fall in love with both Krissy and Devon. I really do."

"That is just IT though, Jeremy!" the 30-year-old snapped back. "See, you DO NOT understand! I DO NOT WANT to fall in love with them. The way I look at it, Kristanna and Devon both stole the man that I love right from underneath my nose. They plucked him away and ran off like two thieves in the middle of the night!" Her face suddenly awash with an onslaught of tears, Pamela used the back of her hand to wipe some of the excess away. "Ca-Can't you see th-that?"

Ever have the feeling that someone just jammed a knife straight through your heart? Not only that, but it seemed that after hearing those words, I got punched in the gut, too. I was not prepared for that.

"I w-would never kick you t-to the curb," Pamela quaked, now sobbing. "I l-love you, Jeremy. I would never d-d-do anything to hurt you. B-But you ... you ... just tossed me aside like yesterday's garbage." I made a move to reach out and grasp her shoulders, but Pamela suddenly recoiled back in a violent manner and roared, "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

My hands frozen in mid-air, I was in a total state of shock as I simply stared at Pamela.

It was still Saturday. Amy and I had returned from the mainland (and her trip to the doctor) several hours ago, and the time was approximately 9:30pm. I came across Pamela in the central room, which was located in the underground portion of the mansion, and began talking to her. It was casual and friendly at first, but one topic led to another, and our discussion eventually morphed into where it was now.

I had kept my distance from Pamela in recent days. She had done the same for me. I figured it would be best to allow her to sort through her feelings and emotions with all of the many things that had been going on as of late.

I had been quite hopeful, of course, that Pamela would accept my offer of entering into a relationship with not only myself, but Kristanna and Devon as well. The absolute last thing that I wanted was for her to return to Maryland and go right back to working at the strip club. Plain and simple, it was beneath her. She was better than that.

Unfortunately, however, I had the inkling that if she declined the offer - which apparently was the case - Pamela would indeed return to exotic dancing. She would go right back into that black hole, and thus, probably never find her way out. If nothing else, I had to do whatever I could to make sure that did not happen.

"I freely admit that I look very bad in hooking up with first Devon and then Kristanna, and eventually both, after all of the things I told you during your first few days here," were my words for Pamela. I needed to make this speech count. "Kristanna and I ... we had some extraordinary circumstances that led us to where we are now in terms of our relationship. Kristanna has been in my life for four years. She is my best friend. I did not realize ... just how much Krissy meant to me until that night you caught me in the voyeur room, Pamela. I don't know ... maybe Krissy saved my life that night. I was so upset and distraught, but she ... she calmed me down."

"I have never lied to you," I added, not allowing Pamela to get a word in quite yet. "Nor did I kick you to the curb. All of the times I told you that I care about you and want to be with you - the times that I said I love you - nothing has changed. Nothing at all. It would crush me, Pamela, if I lose you. I DO NOT want to lose you. I want you to be here with us. I want you to be happy. I want you to spend the rest of your life with us ... WITH ME."

Now, Pamela appeared as if she was ready to cry yet again. "Then how come you go to bed with Kristanna and Devon every night now instead of me? Tell me that!"

"Because I love Kristanna and Devon," I replied. "But certainly, that does not mean I don't love you. I do love you, Pamela. I want Kristanna in my life. I want to devote myself to her. I love Devon. I want to devote myself to her. But I would also like to have YOU in my life. If things were different, I would like for Trish to be in my life as well. Lindsay, Amy too. If things were different and all was right, I'd want all of you to stay. All of you except Camille, that is."

Now Pamela was angry again. "You want a HAREM!"

I shook my head at her. "No, I don't want a harem. I want to give all of you girls - you, Kristanna, Devon, Trish, Lindsay and Amy - the absolute best life possible. I fully believe that all of you would be happier with me than anyone else - or anywhere else - in the whole, wide world. Why? Because I would see to it that all of you are treated the way you should be treated - as angels."

"From the time I wake up in the morning until the time I go to sleep at night, my goal in life would be to see that all of you girls here are happy. This is my island, Pamela ... my home. I brought all of you here. I feel responsible for all of you. I cannot, in good conscience, feel good about some of you returning to the lives that you lead back home. Devon, Amy, yourself ... all come to mind. The three of you, specifically ... I KNOW I can make you all a million times more happy with me than without me."

Pamela almost laughed at me. "Do you honestly believe that you could take care of and satisfy six women?"

"I seem to be doing a pretty good job of it thus far."

"Why not throw Camille in there and just make it seven?"

"I don't like Camille."

Pamela placed both hands on her hips and snapped, "I was under the impression that you brought all of us here to find your future wife!"

"I did."

"Now you want SIX wives?"

I chuckled. "I fully realize that not all six of you are going to stay with me. Kristanna and Devon are going to stay. That is the plan, anyway. I have a sneaking suspicion that Trish is strongly considering the idea of asking us if she can stay on the island. How would Trish fit into things long-term, though? Would she get along with Kristanna and Devon? Lindsay is too young to even think about any sort of a commitment. She is not interested in one, either. Amy? I don't know about Amy. Amy needs to get her life in order - get herself WELL - and think about what she truly wants."

"So you want FOUR wives, then? You gonna have a big wedding ceremony for you and Trish, too? Or maybe you can just have one big wedding for everyone, and walk all of the girls down the aisle and marry them one by one!"

"I never said anything about marrying Trish..."

"I'm sure that is what you want, though!"

I chuckled yet again. "Pamela, I want what is best for you. But even more importantly than that, I want what makes YOU happy - as an individual. From everything you have told me since you came here to visit, you are not happy in life. You've been a stripper for 11 years. You want out, but there is no place to go because no job will pay you anywhere close to what you earn now. You do not want to go back to being the french fry girl at McDonald's like you were in high school. That is not a job for a smart and beautiful 30-year-old woman such as yourself. Plus, you are lonely, and you are depressed. Being a stripper has ruined your outlook on people and how they perceive you." I swung my hand out and added, "All of that is in the past now. I do not look at you as a stripper. I look at you the same way I do Kristanna and Devon - as angels. Give me a chance, and I will do everything in my power to see to it that you are happy and taken care of in life - in every facet."

Pamela slumped her shoulders. "With Kristanna and Devon too? You want all of us to be a family, right? Everything you just said to me sounds wonderful, Jeremy. Everything, that is, except the fact that I would have to share you with two other women - if not more. That's not right."

"What is the one thing you want more than anything else in life, Pamela? What is the one thing you have always dreamed about having? True, unconditional love. Total love. Knock-down, drag-out, break-down-the-walls type of love. You want to be loved for the person that is inside you. Not because of the way you look, or because you can dance and gyrate like no ones' business when music starts playing. You want to be loved for the person that is inside of you."

"Yes, I do..." she gently murmured.

"I can do that, Pamela. I DO love you. I love you for WHO you are ... not WHAT you are."

"What can I give you, Pamela? I can give you all the love and compassion that you could ever handle. I would treat you the same, exact way that I treat Kristanna and Devon. You would be a princess to me. An angel. I would do whatever it took to make you happy."

I paused for a brief moment and then added, "What CAN'T I give to you? What CAN'T I provide you with? I cannot give you a one-on-one relationship. Things are different now because of how Krissy and Devon have both stepped into my life. But a one-on-one relationship is it. That is the only thing that I cannot you. Everything else, though..."

"But think about it, dear. Think about it. Say if we had a typical one-on-one relationship ... I wouldn't love you anymore than I do now. I would not want to be with you anymore than I do now. I could make you so happy if you just give me the chance. But Kristanna and Devon have to be included, too. More importantly, you have to care about them and they have to care about you. Everyone has to be in agreement. I'm not asking you to marry me, Pamela, or marry us. All I'm really asking for is a chance. You have two more weeks on the island. Get to know Kristanna. Get to know Devon. All of us could be really happy together. I would not say this to you if I did not think it was true."

Pamela shook her head. "This is insane..."

"I can't lay it out to you any simpler than this. Give us a chance, dear. Let me love you. Let me treat you the way that you DESERVE to be treated. Let me put a smile on your face, and make sure it stays there EVERY SINGLE DAY from now until the end of eternity. All of your problems would be in the past, and they'd STAY in the past."

"At the very least, give it a chance. Please. Kristanna would not have any problems accepting you into our lives - provided you hold no grudge or vendetta against her, and you are willing to get to know her, and love her. Devon is about the sweetest, most easy-going girl I have ever met. She would have no problem accepting you into our lives, either. Devon is so friendly and gracious, she could probably fall in love with just about anyone. Just a chance, Pamela. Please. I want the opportunity to make you happy. Please!"

"You make it sound all so nice and wonderful," Pamela offered, her body shivering as she curled both arms across her chest. "But ... but I just ... I just don't know."

"What is there not to know?"

"What?" Pamela retorted, her nerves wavering. "Because I still cannot get past the thought that I would only be able to spend one-third the time that a normal wife does with her husband. One-on-one time, I mean. It doesn't seem right!"

"That is the one thing I cannot give you ... yes," I told her. "But I could give you everything else that you have ever dreamed of having in your life. And so much more. All of the things I have said to you in the past ... nothing has changed. I never once lied to you. I'm offering you the ultimate opportunity to change your life, Pamela, and make it better. A chance to be happy. That is all you have ever wanted in life - to be happy. I could make you happy. I am offering you the chance to be loved ... to be cherished."